Katie Opens Her Heart (34 page)

Katie had to laugh even though she hid her face with her hand. If Mabel was watching through the living room window, it wouldn’t help if she noticed her soon-to-be sister laughing at her
daett
—even if Jesse was acting love-struck.

“You’re here!” Jesse proclaimed, racing up the porch steps to grasp
Mamm
’s arm.

“I hope we’re not late,”
Mamm
offered, her smile a bit forced. “You said sometime after supper.”

“
Yah
.” Jesse pointed toward the front door. “The time’s perfectly okay. I was out in the barn waiting for you, but for some reason I didn’t hear your buggy arrive. I must be getting hard of hearing in my old age.”

Mamm
’s smile became more natural now.

Katie relaxed when she noticed that.

“Come in, come in!” Jesse was holding the door open for them.

Mamm
went inside, and Katie followed.

“Have a seat.” Jesse motioned with his hand toward the couch. “I’ll call the children.”

A noise rattled out in the kitchen, and
Mamm
looked in that direction. She remained standing beside the couch though.

“Is Mabel out there?”
Mamm
asked Jesse.

He nodded.

Mamm
didn’t say anything more. She sank onto the couch, her face white again. Katie mentally shook herself and marched toward the kitchen doorway. She had no reason to be afraid of the girl, she told herself. Margaret and Sharon accepted her, and that was enough for now. And Ben Stoll had smiled at her. With that, she could face Mabel with some confidence.

“Let me go in,” Katie said gently to Jesse. He stood aside as Katie entered the kitchen.

Mabel stood at the sink, her arms soapy from washing the dishes. When she turned around, there were tears streaming down her face.

“Mabel,” Katie called out as she walked closer.

Mabel continued washing without uttering a word. Katie stopped, frozen in place until
Mamm
’s hand touched her shoulder. Together they stood there, saying nothing.

“Now, now!” Jesse’s voice boomed behind them. “We can’t begin the evening like this. There’s no reason for this at all. Come, Mabel. The dishes can wait until later.”

Katie unfroze and found her voice at the same time. “I’ll help Mabel with the dishes,” she said. “The two of you can talk with the other children until we’re finished.”

Jesse cleared his throat and sounded like he was going to say something. When he didn’t, Katie looked behind her to see
Mamm
now wrapped in Jesse’s arms.

Katie whirled back around, her face turning a flaming red as she tripped toward Mabel, catching herself by the edge of the kitchen table before she fell. Mabel had also seen the sight, and she was now staring out of the window. Katie steadied herself with both hands, the image of
Mamm
in Jesse’s arms rushing through her mind. This was the part of
Mamm
being with Jesse she hadn’t expected. Hopefully the two of them had moved away from the doorway by now or had quit acting like that. It wasn’t a decent sight for unmarried young people to see. What would Mabel say about seeing her
daett
acting like that with
Mamm
?

Katie stole a quick sideways glance at Mabel. She had stopped crying and didn’t look embarrassed.

Mabel spoke through clenched teeth. “Why are you two here?”

“You know why we’re here,” Katie countered.

“I wish you would just go away,” Mabel said out of the corner of her mouth. “You’ve been trouble enough. We have a perfect woman who wants to be our
mamm
. And
Daett
would ask her if your
mamm
hadn’t charmed his heart with her sneaky ways.”

Angry words pushed against Katie’s lips, but she held them back. Instead she said, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I think
Mamm
has fallen in love with your
daett
. And he with her.”

Mabel snorted her disapproval.

“Well, it’s true,” Katie insisted, ignoring the insult. “Don’t you believe that two people can grow to love each other?” Katie tried to smile through the fierce glare Mabel turned on her.

Mabel spat out, “Ruth Troyer has told me all about your
mamm
. How she used to act when she was younger. How she was all crazy about Daniel Kauffman and haunted him right up to his wedding day. I wish
Daett
would have gotten married to Ruth before your
mamm
ever found out he existed.”

Katie pressed her lips together. These were awful things that Ruth was spreading around the community, but it was to be expected. No doubt everyone would remember again what had happened. Hadn’t
Mamm
told her much the same thing? But since her friendship with Margaret and Sharon, she wasn’t quite Emma Raber’s daughter anymore. At least she wasn’t what that name used to mean. And
Mamm
was also changing in ways she couldn’t even begin to understand.

“I think people change,” Katie offered. “Don’t you?”

Mabel looked up, but she didn’t look convinced. “
Daett
is going to make us accept your
mamm
as our own whether we want to or not.”

Katie slipped her arm around Mabel’s shoulder, but Mabel pushed her away. “I can’t help how you feel,” Katie said, still touching Mabel’s arm. “But perhaps if you came in and spoke with
Mamm
for a little bit, you would see that she really is in love with your
daett
.”

“Anyone can put on an act,” Mabel muttered.

“May I help you finish?” Katie offered, ignoring Mabel’s barb. “I’ve been standing here distracting you from your work when I came in to help.”

“I’m done.” Mabel washed her hands under the spigot. “The dishes can dry on the drainer by themselves.”

Katie shrugged as Mabel marched into the living room. She followed, sitting beside Mabel on the couch. The three boys and Carolyn were sitting on chairs across from Jesse and
Mamm
, who were sitting in rockers. Everyone looked grim, and the soft murmur of conversation died down now that they’d arrived.

“I think I’ll head on up to bed,” Leroy said into the silence.

When Jesse didn’t object, Willis also jumped up and followed his brother. Mabel did the same thing without saying anything, and Jesse still didn’t object.
Mamm
had tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry about the evening,” Jesse told them. “It’s hard on Mabel, and the others are uncomfortable when Mabel’s upset. But she’ll come around soon. It’ll just take a little time.”

Mamm
nodded but the tears were running down her face now.

“Come!”
Mamm
said to Katie. “I think we’d better go.”

Joel was smiling at them from his chair as they walked out the door. Katie smiled back at him. At least one of Jesse’s children liked them. Jesse went along with them outside, holding
Mamm
’s hand as they walked across the yard. He untied their horse and held the bridle as
Mamm
climbed in. Katie got into the buggy on the other side. Jesse let go once
Mamm
had the reins. He waved as they drove past, but
Mamm
was looking straight ahead. Tears were still running down her cheeks.

“We’ll make it somehow,”
Mamm
murmured. “We have to.”

Katie didn’t say anything, but she reached out to take
Mamm
’s hand. They had survived this storm, but the winds were still raging.

Chapter Forty-One

By the time Emma and Katie arrived home,
Mamm
had stopped crying but then started again. Her cheeks glistened in the buggy lights as Katie helped unhitch.

Katie followed her
mamm
into the barn, and
Mamm
held the flashlight while Katie pulled off the horse’s harness and led the horse into his stall.
Mamm
paused outside the barn, standing in the darkness and looking up at the star-filled sky. It was a beautiful night, but both of them were too distracted to enjoy the view for long.

“Come on, Katie,”
Mamm
said, walking toward the house. “It’s high time we were in bed.”

Katie followed
Mamm
across the lawn and into the house. At the kitchen doorway, she paused as her
mamm
sat down at the kitchen table and put her head between her hands. Katie sighed.

Mamm
looked up, her eyes red and her cheeks wet. “Katie,”
Mamm
said quietly, “I need some time by myself.”

“I think we’d better talk,” Katie countered gently as she pulled out a chair to sit down.

“Mabel doesn’t like me,”
Mamm
said, clutching her handkerchief.

Katie reached for
Mamm
’s hand. “I know, but at least the rest of the children seem to get along okay with you. Maybe we shouldn’t let Mabel bother us so much.”

Mamm
’s hand trembled. “I don’t know why she shakes me up the way she does. I know she shouldn’t affect me this much.”

“Jesse loves you,
Mamm
.” Katie glanced away as the image of Jesse holding
Mamm
’s hand as the two of them walked across the lawn flashed through her mind. “And I can tell you’ve opened your heart to him. That’s a
wunderbah
thing. I despaired many times thinking you never would find love again.”

A thin smile played on
Mamm
’s face. “Maybe this is why I didn’t wish to be around a man again—the pain I’m feeling. And not knowing what’s going to happen. I see Mabel and I think she’ll never accept me as her
mamm
.”

Katie squeezed her
mamm
’s hand. “We can’t change Mabel. She is what she is. And what is she going to do? Bite our heads off?”

Mamm
managed to smile. “
Nee
, of course not.”

“Then what have we to fear from her?”

Mamm
’s eyes sought Katie’s face. “Are you trying to encourage yourself or do you really believe this? Jesse says some of the same things, but Mabel is his daughter. He wants to believe only the best of her.”

Katie winced. “I’m just talking, I suppose. But I do believe this—in my heart at least. It’s better than living like we used to. You have to admit that.”

Tears sprang to
Mamm
’s eyes again. “
Yah
, you’re right. It does come down to that question. Is the pain worth the man? Is the struggling worth the possible victory at the end—if
Da Hah
so allows it? Is seeing my daughter happy worth having her run around with the Mennonites?”

“
Mamm
!” Katie caught her breath.

Mamm
’s hand touched her at once. “I’m sorry, Katie. I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t fair.”

Katie hung her head. “I’m sorry for my part in your pain. Should I promise to never see Margaret and Sharon again? Maybe if I stopped thinking about how I feel, I could stay away from them. Would that make you happy?”

Mamm
didn’t hesitate as she took Katie in her arms. “Dear daughter.
Nee
. Difficult as it is for me to admit this, it was your running around with the Mennonites that pushed me out of my frozen world. I don’t think
Da Hah
was able to get to me any other way. And it’s your courage tonight that’s keeping me going. I know I’d falter if I had to face Mabel’s anger on my own. Even Jesse’s love wouldn’t be enough right now. That was quite a blow for me tonight. Jesse had been so certain everything would go well. And it’s always been you, Katie, that
Da Hah
has used to bring
gut
things into my life. And it was your words through which your
daett
spoke to me again. Why should I tell you to stop doing what you think is right?”

“Oh,
Mamm!
” Katie clung to her
mamm
’s hand. “You shouldn’t say things like that. I didn’t do that much to make you happy.”

A wry smile played on
Mamm
’s face. “You just being here is what makes me happy.”

Katie squinted. “I did misbehave now and then, I suppose.”

“
Yah
, that you did.”

“Do I now have to worry that
you’re
going Mennonite,
Mamm
? You sound right-out sympathetic to their ways.”

Mamm
laughed. “Me? Of course not! I’m an old Amish woman, and I’ll always be one. But I’m sorry for how I used to speak to you, Katie. I’m sorry for all those years I sat here when I could have accepted the love of a
gut
man and given you the
daett
you longed for, when I could have reached out to people so both of us would have been more accepted.”

“But Jesse wasn’t available.” Katie eyed her
mamm
. “Unless there was someone else I wasn’t aware of.”

Mamm
shook her head. “There was no one, Katie. But I suppose there would have been one if…well, you know, if I hadn’t been the way I was. But I do wish this could all have happened before I lost you.”