Keep it Secret (15 page)

“So, your demons are caring
too much about what people say and think.”

“No, that’s not my demon.
What’s so wrong with caring what people think about you
anyway?”

“Because, Van, like you said
you have no mind of your own, do you know who you are? You just go
with what you’re told to do, what you're told to be, to say and
act. But with me you're a completely different person. I mean you
just told me to ‘go screw myself,’ you would never speak to anyone
else like that. Why?”

“What would you like me to
do Ava? Hit and cuss at anyone who said something I didn't like?
The world doesn't work that way.”

“You didn't answer my
question.”

“Ugh, I don’t know, I guess
you just bring that out of me.” Ava nodded looking down at the
spoon again seeming disappointed by my answer.

“Well…I’m going to bed.” She
jumped off the counter wiping her hands on the side of her thighs.
“Night.” She didn't even wait for a response as she began to walk
away.

“Wait, Ava, did I say
something wrong?” I asked swirling around on the counter to watch
her through the darkness.

“No, Vanessa, you answered
exactly how I expected you to. Cynthia would be so proud.” Ava
pivoted walking away.

Saturday morning I awoke
with the monstrous butterflies in my stomach. Tonight I’d go on my
first date ever with my first crush. I couldn’t believe how much my
life had changed in the past week. I went for being practically
ignored by my entire class to the most talked about girl in Eagle
Academy. Gabriel, whom I’ve been pining over since my junior year
is now spending every free moment he has at school with me.
Seriously, these were pinch me moments, pinch me moments that were
now giving me nausea. Ugh, why did I have to be such a girl? Why
couldn't I have the confidence that oozed out of Ava? She would
never have an issue around a boy. Ever.

I envied that about her.
Speaking of Ava, the conversation from last night left me asking
myself what she meant. Did she genuinely mean what she said or was
it all some sort of sarcastic code I had yet to understand how to
crack? I should probably ask her and get this growing awkwardness
between us out of the way. Going through the bathroom, I softly
knocked on her door not knowing if she was still asleep. After a
few moments of waiting and no answer I opened the door to an
Ava-less room, she was probably already downstairs having
breakfast. Going down the stairs I could hear yelling coming from
Daddy’s office. Quietly, I hurried down the staircase stepping
closer to the office door trying to listen to what the arguing was
about. Mother was still in Florida so I knew it couldn’t be
her.

“I trusted you. I let you
take the car because you told me you were going to a friend’s
house.” Daddy said bitterly. Uh-oh, he was talking to Ava but why
was he so mad?

“Yeah, I went to go see a
friend just like I told you I was.” Ava snapped back.

“Seriously, Ava? You're
sticking to that story?”

“It’s not a
story
. It’s the truth.”
Ava said through her teeth.

He chuckled, but it wasn’t
because he thought what Ava said was funny.

“I found a used condom on
the back seat of the car!” Daddy yelled. Oh my God, what was Ava
getting herself into?

“Look, I apologize for doing
that in Aunt Cynthia’s car. That was totally uncalled for but what
I do with a condom is my business not yours.” I could hear the
embarrassment in her voice. However, she was sticking to her
guns.

“Its none of
my
business? While you
are under
my
roof
it is
my
business
and you will refrain from acting like a whore while in my home. Do
you understand me?” My dad spoke like he was clenching his teeth. I
gasped at the way he was talking to her I’ve never heard him speak
to anyone like that let alone his only niece.

“Wow! So now you’re
interested in what I’m doing when it could have an effect on your
reputation. That’s what it takes for Uncle Bill to give a shit
about his only niece, God forbid he cared five years ago.” Ava’s
voice was lathered with disgust. I couldn’t take this anymore what
was going on? I never knew what the hell was happening in my own
family. I barged into Daddy’s office.

“What’s going on? I could
hear you guys yelling at the top of the staircase.” My father gave
me a tight smile then looked over at Ava. The sadness and regret in
his eyes were evident.

“That’s not fair, Ava.” He
spoke softly.

“Spare me, UNCLE Bill.” She
meant that as an insult, her and my dad’s relationship was more of
a friendship than a traditional uncle and niece one. The word uncle
made my dad flinch. Ava turned towards the door walking away head
held high.

“Daddy, what’s going on? Why
did you speak to her like that?” I watched him with my jaw
basically on the floor. Dad sighed hanging his head low toppling
onto his office chair, placing his elbows on his knees he spoke
looking at the floor instead of my eyes.

“Ava has been struggling
with your uncles death since the day he died, naturally. It’s
something anyone of us would struggle with, but Ava has been out of
control since then. Your Aunt Rose has contacted a well-known
psychologist in the area who specializes in behavior like Ava’s.
That’s one of the reasons why they moved here.”

“Oh.” Was all I was able to
say.

“She’s done some really
stupid things. Things that you will never do or so help me God
Vanessa—”

I cut him off, as I was able
to find my voice. “Daddy, you don’t have to worry about me.” I
really wanted to call him a jerk and throw a tantrum, but I figured
that would be unwise. Since Ava’s arrival, I’d learn things about
my family I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Maybe being kept in the
dark was the best thing for me after all.

Ava

Before storming out of the
house, I tighten my running shoes. I was on my way out for a run
when Uncle Bill stopped me for a talk. I needed to get the fuck out
of here. Billy’s words cut deep to the bone I never thought he
would ever call me a whore. Although, the truth you never want to
hear that coming from a man who was basically your surrogate
father. I admit sleeping with Reggie in Aunt Cynthia's car was
wrong. I don't blame him for being angry with me for it. I just
couldn’t see why it was necessary to embarrass me and hurt me in
the process of teaching me a lesson. I was eighteen and technically
an adult I didn’t have to put up with their shit, but where would I
go? I had no money or a high school diploma. My only option was
graduating and going off to college and getting a degree. Education
was my way out of this dysfunctional family. Feeling a staggering
urge to call Gabriel was squashed seconds later as I realized I
didn't have his number, but I did know where he lived. It was just
an hour run, no big deal…pfft yeah right. By the time, I reached
his condo I was exhausted, no exhausted was an understatement. My
black workout clothes were drenched in sweat and I was a tad
dehydrated. Painfully, I walked inside of the building lobby gladly
inviting the cool breeze of the air conditioner. While the room
began to spin I sat on one of the blue leather chairs directly
across from the elevator doors. My breaths were shallow and for the
life of me I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. Sinking further
into the chair resting the back of my head on the top rail I heard
my name being called, but it sounded muffled. The room picked up
its speed while my face felt hot then freezing.

“Are you okay? Ava, can you
hear me?” I felt his hands on my things as he crouched in front of
me.

“How did you know I
was—whoa.” I tried to stand but my legs were too weak to hold me
up. I plopped back down on the chair.

“Shit. Hold on to me the
best you can, all right?” He said sliding one arm under my legs and
the other behind me lifting me up in one easy swoop. I gripped him
as tight as I could. Bright red and green dots flashed in front of
me causing me to close my eyes.

“How did you know that I was
here?” I whispered against his chest hearing the elevator dings
before he spoke.

“I was looking out the
window when I saw you running in the building. Is everything okay?”
I wasn't ready to tell him what happened I was on the verge of
passing out and the goddamn elevator ride wasn't helping.
Tightening my hold around his neck, I nuzzled into his lovely nook
as I did he chuckled making my stomach tighten in a good way. The
elevator gave a final ding as its doors opened. Gabriel’s hold
tightened as he walked out of the elevator and onto the hallway. My
eyes flickered open once we reached the front door of his condo he
gently pushed the door open walking directly to his room softly
laying me on his bed so that I was propped up on the headboard. The
smell of his room took me back to yesterday when I was laying on
his bed but in a much different situation and a lot fewer clothes.
Closing my eyes as I relieved the memory, the room span faster I
could feel vomit rising from the bottom of my throat.

“Here, sip this.” Gabriel
handed me an open water bottle just in time. Slowly, I sipped on
the cold water. Gabriel left the room only to return with a wet rag
he placed it on my forehead as he gently pushed my head back to
rest on the headboard. The cold cloth cooled my head making the
room stand still. He tapped on my hand reminding me to keep sipping
on the bottle that was in my hands. Taking a sip I opened my eyes
colliding with his beautiful blue ones. What the hell was I doing
here? How did I go from taking care of myself and dealing with life
on my own, to running to Gabriel when shit hit the fan?
It was now time to leave.
This was a colossal mistake. Before I could storm out of his
room Gabriel laid next to me. Lowering onto his side, he rested his
head on my chest wrapping an arm around my waist. Placing the water
bottle on the nightstand next to me I started caressing his hair.
Suddenly the bullshit of the morning had disappeared this was the
reason why I came here. He made me forget.

“I’m so glad you’re here.”
He said nuzzling closer to me. It wasn’t anything sexual it felt
like he was just looking for comfort.

“Is everything all right.
Ava?” I loved the way my name sounded coming out of his gorgeous
mouth.

“I pissed my uncle off.” I
hoped that would be enough for him and, he wouldn't ask why. I
wasn't sure if I could lie to him. Gabriel quickly sat up taking
the rag off my face that was now warm.

“What do you
mean?”

My eyes wandered to the
corner of his shoulder I didn't want to see his expression when I
finally told him the entire story. It bugged me that I wasn't able
to lie to him. Honestly, I don't think anyone was able to lie to
that angelic face of his.

“He found a used condom in
the back seat of my aunts car…the car that I was
driving.”

“Oh.” He replied softly
lowering his head.

“Blue, I didn't want to lie
to you.” I confessed scooting closer to him then lifting his chin
with my finger. He lets out a heavy sigh before placing his
forehead on mine.

“I have no right to be angry
especially since I’m talking to your cousin. I’m an asshole for
liking you both but Ava, just thinking about another guy and
you…it…it pisses me off.”

I snorted. “Believe me I
know the feeling.”

“Then why can’t we be
together? I know you're going through some stuff and knowing that
hasn’t stopped me from wanting to be with you.” He said as he
reached for my hand without breaking the contact between our
foreheads.

I wasn't expecting this
sudden declaration of his feelings it caught me completely off
guard.

“Blue.” I exhaled as I
pulled myself away from the bed to stand. “Vanessa likes you a lot
I’ve told you this.”

“I know and I like her as
well.” He stood facing me.

“So, with this being her
first crush I won’t be the reason she gets her heart broken. I
don't want to be your girlfriend, you might as well be with
Vanessa.”

“You’re basically forcing me
to be with your cousin. That’s not a great start to a
relationship.”

“Please, I’ve seen the way
you look at her. You like her as much as she likes you.” In unison
we let out a breath, both exhausted by this
conversation.

“Blue, let’s just be
friends, yeah?”

“All right." He said in
defeat pushing his hands through his hair. His compliance did a
little number on my chest. I wasn't expecting him to fight me on it
because I told him it was I wanted but maybe deep down my women
logic was hoping he did.

“I should probably go,
thanks for the water.” I smiled at him turning for the
door.

"No! Ava, don’t leave.” He
said taking two giant steps meeting me at the door. Gabriel placed
his palm on the door blocking me from leaving. I felt his chest
rising and falling against my back. With our bodies barely
touching, he stepped closer pressing me against him. My breath
hitched feeling him so close to me, his cock slowly getting harder
against my ass. The tightness in between my legs clenched as
Gabriel softly swept my hair to one side lowering his lips to the
sensitive skin behind my ear. Gabriel let out a deep groan before
placing his free hand on my lower stomach pressing me closer as a
small whimper escaped my lips. What was he doing? Not two minutes
ago we agreed to keep our relationship platonic. All thoughts were
forgotten as his soft lips and wet tongue made contact with my
skin.