Authors: Elaine Breson
“Um, two scoops of cookies ‘n cream and a large Sprite float.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and that sexy grin reappeared on his face.
“I know it’s weird. You don’t have to tell me.”
A minute later, the boy handed each of us what we ordered and Parker paid him. We found a cute little bistro style table out front and sat down to eat.
“How’s your float?”
“It’s really good. Do you want to try it?”
He eyed me cautiously, looking as though he was unsure if the combination could taste good after deciding in his head that it wasn’t.
“Um, I guess. If you’ve been drinking them that long, they can’t be that bad.” I leaned over and held my cup out to him. He took a sip and took a second to let the flavors settle. “Not as bad as I thought it would be. It’s not as strong as a root beer float, but it’s not half bad.”
“See, I’m not a weirdo.” I took a big drink after pulling my cup back, smiling with my lips pressed against the straw.
We finished our ice cream and walked hand in hand past the shops on the same side of the street. I was having a moment of wishful thinking, eyeing a pair of black flats that I saw through a shop window, when I caught a glimpse of a familiar face reflecting off of the glass. My heart rate immediately increased and my breath caught in my throat. My instinct was to stand still and not let him know that I saw him, but part of me wanted him to think that he didn’t scare me.
I quickly turned and stood on my tippy toes, kissing Parker out of nowhere. I could feel him put one foot behind him, catching his balance after I pressed myself up against him. I pulled away from him, glancing over his shoulder hoping to show Brent that I had moved on. When I looked, he wasn’t standing there. I looked to either side of the walkway to find him, but he was nowhere to be found.
“Whoa, where did that come from?” Parker sounded surprised, but I was too occupied.
“Just…felt like surprising you,” I stuttered.
I pulled away and started walking again, looking behind and past Parker trying to see if he was still watching me.
“Are you looking for something? Do you want to go back that way?”
“Um, no, it’s okay. I thought I saw someone I knew but I don’t think it was them.” I tried to smile but I knew my face was saying otherwise. Parker accepted my answer but looked unsure. When we started walking again, I noticed my hand was shaking.
“Hey,” Parker said, stopping to face me and put his hands on my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“I thought I saw Brent in the reflection of the window where we were just standing. I looked again after I kissed you but I didn’t see him.”
“Okay, well what was he wearing, so we can keep an eye out together?” He reached down and grabbed both of my hands and squeezed them slightly. I tried to calm down enough to think clearly and focus on what he was asking me.
“Pale yellow shirt…maybe tan? I’m not really sure. The hair cut was short and spiky like it usually was.” I closed my eyes trying to replay it in my head, but it wasn’t any clearer in my mind.
“Okay. Don’t worry, I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you, remember?” I nodded my head yes and he pulled me into a comforting hug, kissing the top of my head again. “You ready to go? Let’s get out here and go back to my house.”
We turned around and walked towards the direction of the car again. Suddenly, a guy came walking out of one of the jewelry stores, wearing a pastel yellow shirt and khaki shorts. Right away my heart started beating rapidly again, but he quickly turned to walk in our direction and I realized it wasn’t Brent.
“Is that who you saw?”
“It’s possible. I didn’t get a great look in the glass reflection. I probably overreacted.”
Parker put his arm around my waist and I did the same in return, leaning my head against his arm as we walked. When we got to the car, he paused before starting the ignition. He turned, looked at me and grabbed my hand.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry I freaked out. I keep convincing myself that he doesn’t scare me anymore, and then something like this happens. I hope this doesn’t last forever. I’m sorry you have to see it.”
He brought his hand up to my cheek and rubbed it softly with his thumb.
“Stop apologizing. This is not your fault. You were a victim of domestic violence. Just because you take yourself out of the situation does not mean you’re over it. And I’m
glad
I’m here to see it. You deserve to have someone take care of you and reassure you that not all men are assholes. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and not lay their hands on you.” He sounded so convincing and matter of fact.
I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. I wanted to cherish this feeling of protectiveness and genuine concern that he gave me. He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. I opened my eyes and looked at him, he was simply smiling. There really weren’t any words that could express my thanks for what he had already done for me, even if it seemed like something so insignificant. I squeezed his hand and he started the car, pulling out of the parking lot.
Eighteen
I fell asleep on the drive home. I don’t know why I kept falling asleep while he was around, but the sun always made me tired so it had been expected on my part. I woke up and recognized my surroundings, so I knew we were close to the house.
“Hey sleepyhead. I know I said we’d go back to my house, but I never asked if that’s what you wanted to do.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I need to shower soon though. Can we stop at my house so I can do that really fast?”
“Why don’t you just grab some more clothes and shower at my house?” I gave him a wry look and he smiled. “Alone…you can shower at my house alone.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
When we were inside my house, I went to my room and pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
“You don’t have plans for us to go anywhere else, do you? I’m not bringing anything fancy to wear,” I yelled from my bedroom.
“Nope, just you and me tonight,” he yelled back.
I folded up my clothes and grabbed my brush, toothbrush, face powder and mascara. I didn’t bother with anything else. He’d seen me at my worst, so I wasn’t too concerned with bringing all of my makeup. We got back in the car and headed back to his house.
“You know where the bathroom is. There is some shampoo and soap already in there. It might smell like guy stuff, but I don’t think it’s too strong,” he said once we were inside the house. I took my purse and bag full of stuff in with me and shut the door. I turned the shower on and stepped in. The feeling of the barely warm water was so relaxing. I looked on the rack hanging from the shower head and found the shampoo. Just then I heard a knock on the door.
“Are you inside the shower yet?” The shower curtain was black, so I knew I wouldn’t be seen from the other side.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“I didn’t give you towels. Do you want one or two?”
“Oh, two please.”
“Okay, I’ll put them right here on the counter.” I heard the door close and I peeked my head out to make sure he was gone.
When I was done, I wrapped my hair in one towel and dried off with the other. I reached into my purse where I knew I kept a small bottle of lotion and perfume. I put the lotion on and sprayed a small amount of perfume on me. The combination of both seemed to cover up the masculine smell of the body wash I used. I didn’t mind that smell, but I really loved my Ed Hardy perfume. I brushed my hair out and put it into a messy bun, twisting and pinning my bangs on top.
I hung the towels on the hook on the back of the door and walked out of the bathroom. I went into the living room and looked around and didn’t see Parker. I saw the back sliding glass door open, and a faint glow of light coming from outside. I walked to the doorway and Parker was sitting in a lounge chair on the back porch facing the water. The porch was softly lit from a couple strands of round bulb lights and tiki torches. I stepped onto the back porch which caused a plank of wood to squeak and Parker turned around.
“How was your shower?” he asked as he lit the last torch.
“Heavenly, thank you.”
“No problem. I figured we could sit out here for a while and maybe order some dinner. What do you think?”
“That sounds perfect to me.” I walked over and sat on the chair next to him. “It looks amazing out here Parker. I can’t wait to do something like this to my patio.”
“I love sitting out here at night. I love it even more now that you’re sitting out here with me.” When I sat down, he pulled the chair closer so it was touching his. “What do you want to get for dinner? We can go pick something up or just have something delivered.”
“How about pizza?”
“I’m good with pizza. What do you want on it?”
“I like anything but onions or peppers.”
“I’m okay with everything but peppers, too. So what’s it gonna be?”
“How about…pepperoni, mushrooms and black olives?”
“That sounds awesome. I’ll go get the menu and call them.”
Parker walked back in the house and I lay back in my chair. The moon was almost completely full. A slight breeze picked up and I closed my eyes. I took in all of the sounds: a few seagulls in the distance, the waves crashing against the shore less than a mile away, the rustling of the leaves in the trees nearby. I didn’t want to forget this moment. There was nothing to be afraid of, no one to be cowering from and not a single reason to be unhappy. The thought spread a huge smile on my face.
“What are you smiling about?” Parker was standing next to my chair looking down at me. He had been gone for a bit, so he caught me by surprise.
“Nothin’ really, I just like it out here. It’s very relaxing.” He sat back down in his chair and stretched his arm out. He waited for me to sit up and he put his arm under me. I curled up and tucked myself into his side.
“Not to sound cocky, but I hope that smile is because of me.”
“Oh yeah? What makes you think it’s you?” I teased.
“Ooh, you want to be like that do you?” He used the hand that was behind me and tickled me on my side. Before I knew it, the only sound escaping me was loud, obnoxious giggles.
“Parker, st-stop it!” I yelped, out of breath.
“Alright, alright, I won’t torture you, but I’m definitely making a mental note of how ticklish you are.”
The laughter trailed off and we both grew still and silent. The sound of the waves nearby and the wind in the trees became prevalent again. I closed my eyes again and took in the sounds, this time adding in Parker’s scent and how enjoyable it felt being in his grasp. Some time went by before he spoke.
“You do that to me,” he said, almost in a whisper.
“Do what?”
“Make me smile like that.”
“Aww, really?”
“Yes, really. I find myself grinning like an idiot at the most random times. I realize that I’m daydreaming about stuff that I’ve never wanted before. I want the happily ever after.”
I smiled, but not a moment later realized what that meant. I couldn’t give him that. I couldn’t give him everything he wanted. He already made it known that he wanted kids. I avoided telling him, giving him even longer to think about it and grow attached to the idea. Did he want kids with me? Who knew? I cared about him tremendously already. But even if he felt the same as I did, it didn’t mean he wanted to jump right in and have kids together. Either way, I was leading him on and making him believe I could give him everything he desired in his life.
My face became sullen and a feeling of disappointment washed over me. I buried my face into his shirt in an attempt not to cry. Parker adjusted, obviously noticing my change in demeanor.
“I’m sorry, is that too fast? I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just mean in general.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I was just listening, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with wanting any of that. I want it too. I’d love to have a real life happily ever after,” my voice trailed off. “Parker, I…”
The doorbell rang and cut me off.
“Pizza’s here! That was fast. Be right back.” He went back inside the house.
Dammit
. I finally thought I had the courage to tell him and I got interrupted. Parker came back out with the pizza and paper plates stacked on top of it, and two beers in the other hand. He sat it down on the patio table and I got up to sit there with him.
“Beer okay?”
“Definitely.” A little liquid courage certainly wouldn’t hurt.
I pulled out a slice of pizza and took a bite. It was mouthwatering. I loved pizza and everything about it, but Brent didn’t like anything but pepperoni, ever. Very rarely did I get to load it up with toppings. When I finished the first piece, I grabbed a second one in the box and devoured that too.
“Were you hungry?” Parker teased.
“Uh, yeah…” I wiped my thumb on the corner of my mouth, praying I didn’t have grease dripping down my face or something. I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten so fast. “It’s the sun. It makes me hungry and tired every time.”
“I’m sorry, I should’ve taken you home. Especially since you were tired enough to sleep the entire way here…”
“No, it’s okay,” I interrupted. “The sun has just always done that to me. I’m not in a hurry to go anywhere.” I stood up and grabbed my plate to take it back in the house. “Are you finished?” Parker was just eating the last bite of his pizza.
“Yeah, you don’t have to do that though.” He stood up to do it himself, but I shook my head.
“No, no. Sit down. I’ve got it.” I stacked everything on top of the pizza box and carried it in the house. I threw out the garbage, put the pizza in the fridge and grabbed two more beers. I had a feeling I was going to need it to get through the impending conversation.
When I walked back out through the patio door, I heard low playing music. Parker was propped up on both elbows, leaning on the railing of the deck. The flame from the nearest tiki torch lit up Parker’s face, highlighting a look of serenity. He looked like I felt earlier listening to the sounds of all the nature around me.
“Penny for your thoughts?” He immediately stood up when hearing the sound of my voice and started walking towards me.