Authors: Elaine Breson
I tried to look away but I felt the need to see his reaction. Parkers face had turned white but quickly turned red. I could guess that’s what his anger looked like. It didn’t scare me though. Thank God, it didn’t scare me.
“Parker, say something please.” His silence was worse than the anger I could see boiling up in him.
“I’m not sure what to say. I’m trying really hard not to flip the fuck out right now.” We sat there, me looking at him and him looking off to the side. “Why is that bastard not rotting away in a jail cell?” he bit out.
I hesitated in answering him. I knew my answer might send him over the edge.
“I told the police it was an accident,” I admitted softly.
Parker stood up quickly and stomped across the living room, arms crossed across his chest and pacing across the floor.
“What the
fuck
, Sadie?!” He swallowed hard, and took a breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that. But you could’ve died. That asshole did that to you and you just let him get away with it? Why?!”
I slumped forward and dropped my head, putting my hands in my lap.
“I was done. I woke up in a hospital to countless amounts of stitches, too many IV tubes to count, and all these people wanting to know what happened to me. For hours I just laid there pretending to sleep, just trying to decide what I finally wanted to tell them. Brent was nowhere to be found. My doctor told me the police found me alone by myself, practically bleeding to death at the bottom of the stairs.” Parker winced. “Apparently my neighbor heard me scream and called 911, but she never saw him leave. They never suspected he was even there. When they spoke with him, he told them he had been at work all night.”
I looked up at Parker, somehow feeling like a weight had been lifted by actually saying everything out loud.
“This was my chance. Brent never came to see me. He called the hospital asking for updates, pretending like he knew how a caring husband should act. They’d try to hand me the phone and I just told them I was tired and would call him later. But I knew this was my out, my only opportunity. I could leave him. I could use the fact that I didn’t turn him in to make sure he never came near me again. I got a restraining order after I got out the hospital. I told the judge that I left him and didn’t want him coming after me because he slapped me a couple of weeks ago. I had Stephannie pick up the rest of my stuff, with police escort of course, and I never saw him again.”
Parker stopped pacing, his arms relaxed somewhat and his clenched jaw loosened slightly. He didn’t know what to say. His face made that clear. But he didn’t need to say anything. I survived. I got past it. Now I was here with Parker, hoping the evidence that I’mu royally fucked up wasn’t enough to send him running. I stood up and crossed the room, stopping to stand right in front of him. I softly laid my hands on his before lifting my head up to look at him.
“I’m okay Parker. I’m here, with you. He can’t hurt me now. It took me a while, but that scar doesn’t remind me of the pain I went through anymore. It reminds me of what I overcame. What I survived. Everything that led me to this moment right now.” Parker looked at me with helplessness. His eyes were red like he was struggling to hold back tears. “Obviously there was nothing anyone could’ve done to help me. No one knew. I made the decision that day not to tell anyone until later what really happened. Not just that day, but all the days before that when he had been abusive. That was my choice. At the time, it seemed very logical to me. It seemed like the only way out. Being able to hold that over him and use it as leverage felt like my best option after that.”
Parker brought his hands up slowly and placed them on my face.
“You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. To survive that…” He closed his eyes and sighed. “To survive that took courage. To walk away from it was almost like forgiveness. Revenge would’ve been at the front of my mind. Actually, I’d like to find the prick right now and break every bone in his fucking body. I just – I don’t know what to say.” His voice caught and I knew he was having a hard time processing what I just told him. “I’ve seen so many horrific things in my line of work. But after a while, it’s like autopilot. You’ve seen it all so much, you don’t even give it a second thought anymore. But you,” He shook his head slightly, “I can’t imagine something happening to you and me not there to protect you from it. I want to be the one to keep you safe. I want to be the one you come to when you’re not sure what to do or how to feel. I want to be all of that for you. I
need
to be all of that for you. Knowing that I couldn’t save you from that, it tears me up. I don’t ever want you to hurt again.”
He kissed me, so softly. I closed my eyes and it caused a tear to fall down my right cheek. Parker felt it and wiped it away with his thumb without breaking our kiss.
Every emotion in me was saturated with thankfulness. ‘Too good to be true’ turning into ‘everything I needed’, right in front me, right this moment. I didn’t know how it was possible that I loved this man already, but there was no mistaking it. There was no other way to describe how I felt. It was just…right. Everything about him and us together was right.
I broke our kiss and laid my hands on his forearms. “The thought of falling in love with you doesn’t seem so impossible. God, I can’t believe I can actually say that, but it doesn’t. Getting to that point with you doesn’t scare me. There is nothing that means more to me than the fact that you want to take care of me. I have no doubt in your ability to do it. But I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to. Please don’t ever accommodate my feelings or needs out of pity. As much as I want you, I need you, too. Needing something is a hard feeling for me to accept. I need you to treat me like I’m not shattered, even when it seems like I’m just pieces laying all over the floor.” He kissed me on the forehead and dropped his hands, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“You’re not shattered. You just need a little help. Considering what you’ve been through, I’d be more worried if you were unaffected. It’s going to take time. I’m just glad I’m here to see it. I’m glad I will get to watch you become more happy and content with yourself and trust me, I don’t doubt for a second that you will. I promise to be here and be everything you want and need. Don’t worry about what you’re supposed to feel or where you think we stand. I’m not going anywhere. I can tell how you feel about me and I hope you feel the same thing from me. Don’t worry about words or a relationship status. That’s just added pressure that neither of us needs. I
know
how I feel about you. That won’t change. We’re in this together, and we’ll get to where we’re going. Us,” he smiled, “we’re it, baby. We’re going to be the ones people write stories about.”
“If there’s anything that I could put my faith and trust in, I’m pretty sure it’s us.” I leaned and rested my head on his chest. He was right and I knew it; he was going to be my forever.
Twenty-four
After a shower and some breakfast, Parker and I drove to his house so he could change. We figured we would take it easy today since we both had gotten very little sleep this weekend.
“Just make yourself at home. I’ll only be a few minutes,” Parker yelled from his bedroom as I heard the shower turn on.
I debated on watching a few minutes of TV, but decided to go sit out on his back patio. I opened the sliding glass door and took in the warm air that wafted onto my face. I sat down on the chair closest to me and right away caught a glimpse of a butterfly floating along the grass line. I smiled, thinking about the carefree life of a butterfly. I hoped, so desperately, that I would know that feeling one day. Sure, I had responsibilities. A job, bills, all that good stuff. But I welcomed the monotony of all of that. The normalcy of everyday responsibilities reassured me that this life was no one’s but my own. I didn’t have to answer to anyone anymore. Even though I had this nagging suspicion that Brent was somehow attempting to reinsert himself into my life, I wouldn’t let him do that to me anymore. I needed to stop letting him scare me or make me live in even the slightest amount of fear.
Just as I finished giving myself a silent pep talk, Parker stepped out of the house.
“Not the view you’re used to, huh?” He ran his fingers through his hair and flashed me the smile that I’d come to love.
“It’s alright,” I joked. “It’s not Wisconsin fall, but I definitely love the cooler weather.”
Parker sat down in the chair next to me. “I bet. I’m not in love with the weather here, but I don’t know that I’d want to live anywhere else. It’s got everything I need.” He looked over at me and winked.
“Yeah, I love it here too. I sort of hope my parents decide to move here when they retire, but I don’t know that I’ve ever heard them discussing it. I imagine they thought I’d move back eventually.”
“Ever think you will?” Parker questioned.
“Oh I don’t know. I think I really like it here.” I grabbed Parker’s hand and winked back.
“Good to know.” He leaned his head back against the chair and watched me.
“What shall we do today?” I asked.
“I have no clue. I need to go pick up some work clothes from the dry cleaners and get some groceries, but I doubt that’s what you had in mind.”
“I actually need some groceries myself. We can go to the store together if that’s not too domesticated and stuff for you,” I teased.
“ Like I’d turn down an opportunity to spend time with you. The grocery store it is.” He slapped his hands down on his knees and stood up with his hand outstretched. “You ready to go?”
“Yep.” I yawned as I stood up.
Parker laughed, “I know it’s not ideal, but you could at least
pretend
to not be bored out of your mind.”
“Sorry, I just don’t usually stay up so late. So I blame my yawning on you.”
“Alright, I guess I’ll take the blame for that. But you played your own part in that, if I remember correctly…” he trailed off.
“Oh I remember alright.” I giggled and Parker smacked me on the butt as I walked back into the house.
The store was only a mile or so from Parker’s house. When we got inside, he eyed me when I grabbed a cart.
“What?” I wondered out loud.
“Do I need my own cart or can we share?”
“We can share, smart ass.” I slapped him lightly with the back of my hand and put my purse in the cart. Halfway down the first aisle, I realized I should probably grab something for Thursday. “What should I bring to Beth’s? I don’t want to show up empty handed.”
“You should bring apple pie.” He stated matter-of-factly.
“Um, okay.” I laughed at his very particular request. “Should I buy one or make one? And why apple pie?”
“Because no one ever brings one,” he jokingly pouted. “Every single person that goes over to Beth’s for Thanksgiving wants pumpkin pie, so I’m always stuck bringing my own apple pie.”
“You poor baby,” I facetiously replied. “Do you want me to make you one or just buy your favorite brand and stick it in the oven? Although there is one thing you should know about me. I am
not
a good baker.”
“Oh. You probably should’ve told me that like, two weeks ago.” He tried to sound serious but failed miserably. “That changes things.”
I rolled my eyes at him as he laughed. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me closer to his side as we walked through the aisles getting what we both needed. When we got to the frozen foods aisle, I stood in front of the pies with the door open. “Dutch apple or apple crumb? I’m super talented at turning the oven and timer on.”
He put his finger up to his lips and tapped them lightly. “Umm, tough question. Let’s go with-“
“Parker?!” I turned around to see who’s high-pitched squeal like voice was calling out his name. By the time I turned around, the woman blurred past me and had a near death grip around his neck as she hugged him. She was a very pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair and legs that went on for days. They were sort of hard to miss in the extra short spandex shorts and barely there tank top she was wearing.
“Uhh, hey Piper.” The awkwardness radiated from him.
“Oh my God, it’s so good to see you! I haven’t seen you since, well…oh yeah.” Her smile widened and she was obviously amused by her recollection.
Parker lightly grabbed her arms and pried them from around his neck. “Yeah, I remember. Nice to see you too.” His shoulders slumped from their usual confident posture and he tucked his hands in his pockets. “Piper, this is my girlfriend, Sadie.”
Piper turned around for his appeasement, but quickly refocused her attention on him without saying a word to me. “Well, I better get going. I have an appointment for a wax in ten minutes.” She kissed Parker on the cheek and flipped her hair behind her. My stomach ached at the sight of her touching him, but he seemed less than thrilled, so my jealousy felt a little unwarranted.
So what if I can’t help it
. “I’m sure you still have my number. Give me a call if you,” she glanced back at me, “
need
anything.”
As I watched her strut out of view, the frigid air from holding the freezer door open snapped me back. Parker and I looked at each other, but his eyes begged me not to ask him about the big breasted elephant that just left the room.
“Okay, dutch apple or apple crumb?” I shivered as I waited for his answer.
“Um, dutch apple. Will you use your wonderful oven skills and make it for me?”
“Of course I will.” I walked over to put the pie in the cart. Parker placed his hands on my arms and quickly rubbed them up and down to warm me up. “Thank you. I had that door open for a little while.” I tilted my head back to look at him and smiled to let him know I was okay with what just happened. He didn’t say anything, instead he turned to continue walking down the aisle.
When we were finished and got to the car, he unloaded the groceries we bagged separately into his and mine, although he had insisted on paying for all of it. It was a few minutes before either of us said anything.