Keeping Her (The Lexington Series Book 2) (23 page)

“What’s wrong with her?” I heard
Landon ask.

“It’s normal her body is just
exhausted. She hasn’t eaten anything for hours and barely was able to drink
anything so her energy levels dropped really low really fast. I gave her the
ice because that should help her out some.”

I looked at Landon and I could see
him holding a bundle in his arms. They finished up everything they had to do
with me while a nurse took the baby from Landon to clean him up and get his
weight and measurements. I was rapidly drinking water as they finished and by
the time I was able to hold him again I felt human. His eyes were closed and I
just took him in. He had his daddy’s facial features but it looked like the
poor thing got cursed with the same curly wild hair as me. They put tags on
both me and Landon’s wrist so that staff could identify us as the parents of
the baby and took him away. He was 8 pounds 3 ounces, which would explain why I
was as big as a house. They set me up in a wheelchair and took me from the
labor and delivery floor to a room that will be my home for the next couple of
days. Nick and Max saw when we exited the room and they all followed behind the
nurse and me as we moved to the fifth floor.

                              I got
situated in a bed and they gave me meds before any pain really kicked in which
I was grateful for. Max climbed in bed next to me and asked a million questions
about his little brother. I fell asleep at some point and Landon didn’t wake me
until the nurse informed us that we could get the baby. When they offered to
bring him to the room Landon hopped up and insisted that he get him from the
nursery himself. I rolled my eyes because it was more of his lack of trust of
other people than anything else I believed. He followed the nurse out and soon
returned back to the room rolling the small baby bassinet. He picked him up
gently from the bed and walked him over to me. When he laid him into my arms I
felt my heart speed pick up. I couldn’t believe that we actually did it. When I
let out a soft gasp the baby’s eyes slowly opened revealing intense green eyes.
There was no denying this was in fact a Miles baby. Max was beside himself so
we sat him up in my bed and situated him so he could hold the baby. I placed
him gently into Max’s arms arranging them properly to support the baby’s head.
He cooed at him and feathered kisses all over his face. My eyes stung with
tears at the sight of them together. I gently stroked the back of my finger
down the baby’s face.

“Dean” I whispered.

“What?” Landon asked.

I focused my attention to Landon and
gave him a watery smile. “His name… Dean James Miles.” I explained.

I saw his eyes fill with tears as he
nodded. He bent down and gave me a kiss on my forehead. “I love it Lucy, its
perfect.” He whispered.

After Max had been holding baby Dean
for a while Nick got agitated. “Max I love you and all but it’s my turn. I want
to hold the baby.” He whined. I rolled my eyes and Max giggled as he agreed.
Nick snatched the baby from him and began walking around the room. Dean’s eyes
were focused intently on Nick as he spoke to him. “Hey little man, I’m the best
dude in this world besides you. I can teach you
everything
you need to
know, especially when you need help picking up the ladies. Your dad over there
has a chain and ball so it’s just the two of us man. Don’t worry I’ll come save
you when they start getting mushy or whatever. Me and Max know how to have fun
without them so you can hang with us, you know watch Ninja Turtles and all of
that…”

I tuned him out at that point because
I’m sure he was just going to keep spouting ridiculous crap. I’m just grateful
that he doesn’t understand a thing he says. He’s probably just mesmerized by
Nick’s natural goofiness. Landon pulled a chair closer to me and grabbed my
hand. “I’m so proud of you baby. You were so strong in there, I love you.” He
whispered so only I could hear.

I cradled his face. “No Landon,
we
did it together. I couldn’t have done that without you.” I told him and leaned
in for a kiss and he met me halfway.

When Landon got a bit too into the
kiss we heard a throat clear. I turned my attention to Nick who was holding
Dean so that he was also facing us and he was pointing. He shook his head and
whispered loud enough so the whole room could hear, “you see what I mean?”

Landon rolled his eyes. “Give me my
baby.” He demanded holding out his arms. Nick sighed and began whispering in a
low voice as he walked the baby over and handed him over to Landon.

He checked the time on his watch.
“We’ve been out for a while, I’m going to take Max home so he could get some
sleep and we can come back when we’re refreshed and so you two can have some
alone time.” Nick told us.

Landon nodded. “Sounds good, thanks
for being here man and everything you did.” He told him in a serious voice
filled with emotion.

Nick’s demeanor changed to deadly
serious. “Seriously Landon? You guys are my only family I’d do anything for
you.” He seemed to rethink his statement before adding, “Except watch Lucy give
birth.” He visibly shuddered. “If you wouldn’t have made it in time and I would
have been subjected to that I would’ve smothered you with a pillow.” He
threatened.

Landon laughed and shook his head.
“That’ll never happen, but seriously thanks.” They gave each other one of those
bro hugs and handshake things and Nick scooped up Max and left.

We spent the next few days at the
hospital going through the motions. They talked to us about beginning
contraceptives which we agreed to happily. Right now we were set and definitely
didn’t want to bite off more than we could chew. We went through breast feeding
in the hospital since I was adamant about pursuing breast feeding but no one
warned me how
painful
it could be. I swore that the boy had teeth
because of how hard he gripped onto me not to mention I was still sensitive.
Landon asked about a million questions and although he drove me mad the nurses
and doctors seemed to be eating it up. Apparently his involvement was something
that they don’t often see even with married couples and they thought it was
the
sweetest thing
. Little did they know they were only gearing him up with
more shit to drive me crazy with. At the end of the day neither one of us
really had parents or family that we could turn to for advice in this
situation. Sure I still had my father James, but he and Sam never had kids… and
I don’t count since I was already way past these stages when he found out about
me. Their moral support won’t really help when the baby is up at 3am and we
have no idea what to do. So with that being said yes I’m complaining about all
the questions but I was asking a good amount of my own we needed all the help
we could get together. Nick also came in on a few of these discussions we
requested since he called himself the hired help and would need to also know
what to do when he’s babysitting during sexy time. When he said that to the
doctor and nurse I really wanted to strangle him, I honestly could’ve died from
embarrassment. By the time we left I was confident that with everything they
told us and using instincts and common sense we’ll be ok.

Lucy

The first couple of weeks back were
hell. Ok I might be exaggerating but Landon, Nick, and Max had to still attend
school which meant I spent a lot of time at home alone with the baby. They both
tried to come back as soon as possible but it was still a lot on me. Don’t get
me wrong baby Dean wasn’t bad or cried excessively; it was just a lot on my
body physically. I was still fairly sore from birth so walking and things were
extremely uncomfortable for me. I found it amazing that I could see my feet and
everything again however I was still waddling around everywhere. Landon made
sure to be there for doctor’s appointments which were frequent initially. I had
suggested that we get one of those small fridges that people sometimes get for
their personal items for like a door room and place it in baby Dean’s room.
That way we could store his milk there and I wouldn’t have to worry about going
up and down the stairs so frequently. That day Landon came home with one and it
was such an amazing idea.

Thanksgiving came around fast and
everyone gathered at our house. We had a lot more hands which gave me more time
to recuperate. Landon often fought with Sam and Erica over Dean because none of
them ever wanted to let them go. My body was slowly healing and I was almost
there. Dean was three weeks old and he seemed to be basking in the attention
although it was funny whenever he got hungry and went for the closest breast.
He didn’t really care if it was man or woman he just wanted his milk. It was a
bittersweet holiday since we were marking the anniversary of Dean’s death while
at the same time embracing baby Dean into the family for our new family
rituals. At one point Landon had disappeared for a while and when I found him
in our room he was in the dark with his head in his hands silently crying. I
sat with him and held him and let my own tears out as we mourned Dean’s death
together. He was truly a wonderful and loving man and I would give anything to
have him back here in our lives. I wish he could’ve met baby Dean, who we named
after him. I hope to god that our son is just as amazing as his grandfather was
and I told Landon we needed to make a promise that although he will never meet
them we will make sure that our son knows how great his grandparents were.

Mid December I was feeling completely
better and had developed a routine. Dean was great and he slept for the most
part. He woke up like clockwork for feedings. After his 3am feeding he slept
until about 10 or 11am, so I had a good part of the morning to myself that I
used to clean, read, and paint. This morning when my internal clock woke me up
for baby Dean’s 3:00 feeding I didn’t hear anything. I decided to get up and
check on him and found Landon already there sitting in the rocking chair
feeding him while he whispered to him silently. Dean either woke up and made
stirring sounds that Landon heard over the monitor or his internal clock woke
him before me but he liked to share the responsibilities when he was home. He
fussed with me sometimes about the fact that I get to have him all day.
Christmas was in another two weeks and I needed to get out to get my shopping
done. We had all decorated together the day after thanksgiving before anyone
left and they will all be returning. Landon didn’t have any classes or practice
today so I will be heading out as soon as I’m done with breakfast and finished
with my doctor’s appointment.

The doctor gave me the depo shot as
my new form of birth control and gave me the all clear. Landon was losing his
mind since it’s been such a long time and I didn’t blame him a bit. Once I
recuperated I’ve been bidding my time but unlike him I wasn’t complaining about
it…
out loud
. I took myself to the mall and was able to pick up
something for everybody. I was heading out when I passed by Victoria Secret. I
stared at the store and was going to keep walking when I made a split second
decision to go in. I got me a few new bras and underwear, nothing sexy or
anything. I was still pretty self-conscious of my body. I have some stretch
marks now and I still have a gut from the baby. If I was being totally honest I
didn’t find my body attractive at all anymore which is why I was kind of happy
that we
couldn’t
do anything. There was no reason for him to see me
naked or anything since I had the baby. He wouldn’t put himself through the
temptation which has been working fine for me. I know he will be all over me
the second he found out we had the green light and I didn’t want to look bad so
I was hoping to find some lingerie that would help me look better. The sales
rep helped me find three pieces that I thought looked amazing, however I had no
confidence they would look good on me. I bought them anyway against my better judgment
and hid the bag inside one of the others.

When I got home Nick, Max, Landon,
and baby Dean were all in the family room. I gave them strict instructions not
to enter our room until I gave the ok. They weren’t stupid and knew what I was
up to, but they knew better than to go against my request. I was just like Max
when it came to the excitement of waiting until Christmas morning to see or
know what your present is. I spent a few hours packing and wrapping everything.
When I was done I checked the time and saw that it was 9pm and I was starving.
Baby Dean was in his swing asleep and the boys were playing the Xbox. I went
downstairs and snatched me some pizza while I sat and watched them play for a
while. Around 11 we decided to call it a night and I made my way upstairs with
Landon in tow. When I opened the door to our room I sighed it was a disaster.
There were bags, wrapping and tissue paper
everywhere
, I made quite the
mess and I really wanted a shower.

“What’s wrong?” Landon asked.

“I wanted to shower but I forgot all
about this big mess.” I admitted.

He chuckled, “shower and I’ll clean
up how’s that?” he offered.

I turned and stood on tiptoe to kiss
him. “You’re the best-est ever do you know that?”

He smiled. “I’ve been told.”

I grabbed my stuff and headed into
the shower. I took my time letting the hot water just run all over me. When I
felt like I’ve been in here a little too long I washed up and got out throwing
on one of Landon’s large t-shirts. When I came out of the room Landon was
standing at the edge of the bed with a bag in his hand looking through it. When
I saw a flash of pink I paled. Holy hell he found the bag from Victoria Secret,
how the heck did I forget about that?

“What’s this?” he asked letting the
bag hang from his pinky finger.

I began wringing my hands together
and let out a deep breathe. “It was an impulse purchase and I don’t know why I
did it.” I admitted.

He nodded. “How did the doctor’s go?”
he asked.

I cleared my throat. “They said that
everything was fine and I was good to go, I got the shot and all.”

He smiled. “So that means that I can
touch you again?” he asked for clarification.

I looked down at my feet and gripped
my hands together tightly. “Yes” I said in a small voice.

I heard Landon moving across the
floor and I smelled him when he was close. He put a finger under my chin to tip
my face up. “What’s the matter baby?” he asked. I met his eyes and bit my lip.
His eyes pierced mine searching for the answer there and he sighed. “Come on
Luce, tell me.” He prodded.

I closed my eyes and when I opened
them I told him in a soft voice. “I’m scared.”

He frowned. “Scared of what?”

“You seeing me again. I don’t look
the way I used to and I don’t want you to see how unattractive I am now.” I
confessed.

He frowned. “What the fuck does that
even mean Lucy? Why wouldn’t I find you attractive? You’re the prettiest girl
I’ve ever seen in my life. No matter what you will always be beautiful to me.”
He pulled the bag up in between us so that it was dangling close to my face. “Is
that what this is about?” he asked.

I nodded. “I thought it might help
take away from… you know my body.”

He nodded and sat down on the edge of
the bed and went through the bag. He pulled out a red corset piece that came
with a black garter, red thong, and black knee highs. “Put this one on.” He
said placing it on the bed slowly.

I shook my head frantically. “No way.
Please don’t make me do this and embarrass myself.”

He shook his head at me. “No you need
to do this. You need to feel as sexy as I always see you because baby I’m going
to have you tonight.” When I continued to stare at the pieces like they might
come to life and strangle me he sighed. “Look Lucy, even in my t-shirt I think
you look fantastic. You think I haven’t seen you? You do realize that I wake up
a lot of days and you’re still asleep. That t-shirt is never really covering
you, I already know what you look like and you know I still want you. Now… cut
your shit and just put it on. I want to see it.”

I sighed and snatched the pieces.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I mumbled.

He chuckled. “Don’t say I didn’t warn
you
.” I heard him reply as I closed the bathroom door behind me.

I put the pieces on as slowly as
possible trying to prolong the moment. When I was done I looked at myself in
the mirror and sighed. I didn’t look as bad as I thought I was going to but I
was still really nervous. What if he truly gets turned off when he sees me?
That was the most concerning part of everything, I didn’t want this to be the
thing that finally gets in between us. I tried to fix my wet hair nicely but
there was no use. I took a deep breath and decided it was time to bite the
bullet so I opened the door and walked out slowly. Landon was in the same spot
that I left him facing the bathroom door but he reclined so that he was leaning
on his elbows. He was staring at the ceiling so I made sure to make no noise. I
was successful, but unfortunately he seems so in tuned to me that he knew I was
there. It’s like he was moving in slow motion. His eyes took their time
trailing from the ceiling to where I was standing stock still. He slowly sat up
and put his elbows down on his knees. He held my eyes for what felt like an
eternity before they gently examined my entire face then leisurely made their
way down my neck all the way down to my toes. I felt his eyes on my skin and my
cheeks flushed in embarrassment. His face was a blank mask the entire time and
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Once it appeared as though he examined
each toe he did the entire process all over again beginning with my feet and
made their way up. By the time he reached my eyes again I was fidgeting in
nervousness and anticipation.

 He beckoned me over with his finger
and I moved closer until I was standing directly in front of him. I couldn’t
wait any longer so I blurted out in a whisper, “what are you thinking?”

He grabbed both of my hands and
pulled me even closer so that I was standing in between his opened legs. He
flipped both hands over and placed a kiss on each one of my palms, I let out a
shuddering breath. In the next second he tugged on my hand and I collapsed on
top of him and he rolled us over so he was hovering above me. He gave me a soft
kiss and then another. He placed kisses on my eyelids, then my cheeks, then my
nose, my chin, and finally my lips again. This time he sucked on my bottom lip
and I opened for him. He hasn’t kissed me like this in so long and the instant
our tongues touched I moaned. He pulled back when I was on the verge of passing
out from my need of air and began kissing and licking me from my chin down my
neck and shoulders.

“You want to know what I think?” he
asked bringing his head up to meet my eyes. I nodded. He placed a kiss to my shoulder
and began pulling down the strap until my arm was free and he repeated the
motion with the other shoulder. When he was done he met my eyes as he began
undoing the clasps on the front of my top. “I think you’re beautiful.” He said
and looked down at my bare chest as the last clasp broke free. He stared and
licked his lips before his eyes flickered back to mine. “And you get more
beautiful every day.” He finished and placed his mouth on my chest. My eyes
flickered closed and I arched into him. In that moment all of my insecurities
and fears flew out the window as I fell into the moment. When he had thoroughly
shown my breast attention he removed the rest of my clothes and stood so he
could gaze down at me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so exposed with him before;
it was like he was looking at me all over again for the first time. He climbed
back on top of me and met my eyes as he said softly, “first I’m going to taste
you. Then I’m going to have you until you’re screaming my name and I won’t
stop. Not even when you beg and plead that you had enough because I don’t think
I’ll ever have enough. I won’t stop until my body can’t move and you will never
again question how crazy I am about you
and
your body.” He promised and
my body lit on fire. He wasn’t lying either, he held his promise and when baby
Dean woke up at 3am for his feeding Landon had just collapsed to the side of me
and I have no idea what round that was. I fed Dean and came back and Landon was
on me again. He was going to be a grumpy and tired bastard today when he went
to school.

Landon was like an animal every day
and his excuse was that he had a lot of time to make up for. He acts like I
don’t know him already and he’s
been
an animal he’s just a little more
excessive. Christmas came and Erica, James, and Sam came up two days before
Christmas. We had an amazing holiday and we had a small tribute to the family
members who we missed and love. Max spoke about his good memories with Dean and
you heard sniffles around the room. I think this is a tradition that we should
uphold every year on Christmas and thanksgiving to keep their memories alive
and to ensure they’re never forgotten. This year has been hard with all the
changes that we had to endure, but together we made it. Before everyone retired
I looked around the room at everyone and smiled. This was my family and I made
a silent promise to myself to make sure I cherish each day and moment with
them.