Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series) (22 page)

I stare at him as he slowly offers me his hand. “Walk with me?” he asks, a brooding look on his face.

At first I want to say no, I want to put distance between us. Not because I don’t want his help or advice, but because I’m scared. I’m scared I don’t understand my own feelings, and I certainly don’t understand what me and Pete have going on here. It’s like the ultimate mind fuck.

But I can’t.

I take his hand as he holds it steady and pulls me from the ground without effort. Once I’m stable on my feet, he holds out his elbow, suggesting we link arms. I smile at the gesture, linking my arm through his. We walk slowly in silence until we reach the benches at the side of the main school building. He holds out is hand, gesturing for me to sit, so I do.

He slowly slides in beside me, his arm resting on the back of the bench as he pulls one leg up, crossing it over the other. I feel the heat of his glare. His eyes never leave my face, but I’m too awkward to look at him. Instead, I stare into space. He slowly taps his finger on my shoulder, desperately trying to get my attention.

I turn to him, trying to smile, but I know it’s barely there. The light in his eyes lose their sparkle as he sees my solemn expression.

“Talk to me, Kennedy.” He smiles. “Please…”

I thrust my hands between my crossed legs, uncomfortable and struggling to think of what to say.

“I’m scared, Pete.” It’s plain and simple. But the truth. “I’m scared that every day will be like today. That every day will be as fucked up as the last, like I’m never going to escape the past, despite fighting for my freedom. I’m never really going to be free, am I?”

He screws up his face, like he’s angry, like something I said has really pissed him off. “Don’t say that,” his voice faint and his eyes are downcast. “You can’t give up now, you have to keep fighting.”

“I’m tired of fighting. I’m physically and mentally drained, Pete. I don’t have any fight left in me.”

“You do. Of course you do. You’re the strongest person I know. Just to be sitting here in front of me, after everything you’ve been though. Kennedy, that’s a real fucking sign of strength.” He sighs, his eyes moving over my face. “You just need to take one day at a time. Things have been fucked up all your life. It’s gonna be a slow road to normal, ya know?”

I nod, knowing everything he says is right. How can I possibly expect to have a life that’s anything like normal? Especially after all the messed up things I’ve been through and seen.

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, lady, no siree, but you have so much to live for, so much of this world to see!” His tone is upbeat, and as I look at him, that dimpled smile is back.

And shit it’s infectious. I can’t help but smile back, despite the heartbreak inside.

“I need to know…”

“Know what? If Dennis is telling the truth?” he asks.

I simply nod, thinking of ways I can get the truth.

“I need to speak to Jocelyn. I know she can get me the answers. She’s the only person I can trust,” I blurt out, frantically searching my purse for my cell phone. I find it and begin typing a text to Jocelyn.

Kennedy:
I need to speak to you later. Will you be at home? I desperately need your help.

I rest the phone on my lap, waiting for a response, but I’m not sure how quickly she will message back. I sit there in silence, willing for the phone to vibrate, hoping she has seen my text and will reply soon.

“Honestly, Ken, I’m fucking certain that this is just another one his fucked up mind games. Don’t let the creep get under your skin.”

“I dunno, Pete. Too much of what he said felt familiar to me. I think he’s telling the truth.”

I shoot him a sad smile, the anxiety eating away at my insides. My stomach feels like it’s doing a thousand fucking summersaults and all I can do is sit and wait for her reply. I look at Pete sitting there. He looks hopeless, like he doesn’t know what to say or do. I feel guilty that I’ve burdened my shit on him.

I feel the sudden vibration of the phone I’m clutching in my hands. Despite the shaking of my whole body, I quickly unlock the screen to check the message.

Jocelyn:
What’s wrong? Are you okay? Kennedy, please tell me you are okay? Why aren’t you in class? I would call, but if you’re in class, I don’t want you to get in trouble. I will be here when you get home, unless you need me now?

I let out a sad sigh, quickly tapping out a reply to Jocelyn. I can tell she’s stressing about me, and that was my last intention.

Kennedy:
Please don’t worry. I’m okay, but I do need your help. Talk later.

Now all I needed to do is avoid any more contact with Dennis and make it until the end of the day.

I stand up, dragging with me my bag. “Let’s get to class.” I offer my hand to help him up.

“Are you sure?” he asks, a look of concern across his face.

“I just need to make it through the day,” I whisper, nodding my head toward the direction of the school.

I stalk back toward the entrance, wiping any traces of my tears and emotion from my face. I have to push this from my mind, at least until the end of the day.

“I need to tell Cole. He needs to know what Dennis told me.”

“Agreed.” He smiles. “But you know what a fucking hot head Cole is!”

“Hmm, that’s what I’m worried about. I’ll have to speak to him at break, get him on his own. Let’s just hope Dennis doesn’t get to him first.”

My heart plummets and I swallow down hard, thinking back to the conversation he walked in on. I know he’ll use this to cause even more shit between me and Cole, as if his revelation wasn’t enough.

Pete gently grabs my arm, pulling me to a stop. I turn until we are face to face and look at him.

“What are we going to say if Cole asks us about what Dennis overheard?”

My eyes shift nervously. Shit, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to lie but I also can’t risk losing him. “I need him, Pete.”

He shoves his hands in his pocket, his feet kicking loose bits of gravel on the ground. “I know,” he answers simply. “So do we deny it, do we lie to him, or do we come clean?”

“Damn, you make this sound so seedy, Pete. You know he won’t understand. The last thing I want to do is lie to him, but I can’t risk losing him either.”

“I get it. I mean, I don’t like it, but I get it.”

I take in the resolute look on his face like I just ripped a little part of his heart out.

“I need him, Pete, but I also need you.”

His eyes widen and his stance changes. I suddenly realize what I’ve said and how it must sound. Fuck, I don’t know how to express myself sometimes. I’m pretty sure that’s how we got to this point in the first place.

I wave my hand in front of him. “No, no, not like that, Pete. I mean, I need you as a friend. Just as much as I need Cole in my life, I need you too.” His over excited expression drops to one of a normal smile and he nods.

“I’ll always be here, Ken. Always. Even if that means we’re just friends.”

Cole

I pull out my phone, sneaking it under the school desk to check my texts.

The message is from Kennedy, asking me to meet her at the lockers on break. I quickly tap a text back, letting her know I’ll be there. I check the time and there’s little over five minutes left of class, and fuck, I’ll be glad to get out of here. Dennis, the prick, burst into class ten minutes late and has done nothing but stare at me the whole time. I’m trying so hard not to jump out of my fucking seat and lay the bastard flat on his back after everything he’s done to her.

But shit, I have enough going on right now. The last thing I need is more trouble with that fucking douche. Feeling his eyes burning into my head, I turn in his direction, only to meet his angry stare. I glance away quickly, not wanting to enter into this shit. The last time I let the bastard get under my skin, I lost it and did something that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my goddamn life. I wasn’t going there again, no fucking way.

I pull the pen out of my mouth, not realizing I had chewed the fuck out of it. I sigh to myself, dropping it on the desk. I reach my intertwined fingers out in front of me, the crunch of my knuckles clicking a release to my tense hands.

As soon as the bells rings, I’m up and shoving all my shit in my backpack, to race out of the door. I walk fast, not quite a jog, but just as fast as my legs will take me until I get to the locker. I crane my neck as I approach, hoping Ken will already be there.

She is. The mere sight of her is enough to make my heart beat a bit faster. I slow my pace, pushing back my shoulders, trying not to look like the lamest love sick fucking puppy you’ve ever seen, despite the fact that’s exactly how I feel.

Her head turns toward my direction. Her eyes light up at the sight of me. As I get close, she reaches her hand out toward me, and I do the only thing I can. I take it in mine. Our fingers lock together, they fit just fucking perfect, like two pieces of a jigsaw.

“Hey, baby.” I can’t help but pull her to me, my body pressing against hers as my eyes fixate on that beautiful, heart swelling smile she always gives me.

“Hey,” she answers, quickly stepping on to her tiptoes, placing a kiss on my lips. I close my eyes, wanting to deepen the kiss, needing to taste her. Before I get the chance she pulls back. I narrow my brows in confusion, trying to understand why she’s resistant.

“We need to talk, honey,” she says sweetly. “Let’s find somewhere private to talk.” She pulls on my hand, leading me toward the sports block. The hall is completely empty during break time.

“What’s wrong?” I blurt out. I need to know what this is all about. There’s a freaky calm about her, despite her breathing being all over the place. Her chest rises fiercely as she takes in a sharp breath.

“Okay, so today I had a run in with Dennis.”

My eyes widen at the mention of that bastard’s name. Before I get a chance to say anything, her voice bellows a little, making sure she doesn’t give me even a second to rage about it.

“But, I’m okay.”

I glare at her, my nostrils flaring as I feel the intense anger rising inside.

“I was with Pete,” she continues, “on our way to class and he did his usually trouble stirring ramble…”

“And?” I bellow, a little louder than I intended, but I’m annoyed at the pure notion of him fucking talking to Kennedy. That bastard is treading a very thin fucking line.

“Well, he kinda admitted why he hates me so much.”

“Hates you? He doesn’t even know you, Kennedy. If he did, there wouldn’t be no way he could possibly hate you.”

“Well,” she pauses momentarily, “he said he was at the commune, Cole. He said he was born there.” Her eyes swell with sadness and I’m fucking gob smacked, like truly stuck for fucking words.

“What? How?” I stutter, my words barely jumbling out of my mouth.

“And that’s not the worst of it,” she chokes back, her head resting against the wall behind her.

“What the fuck? I mean seriously it can’t get any worse.”

“Oh it can!” She inhales sharply. “He told me that Christopher is his real dad.” Her words teeter off, a silent sob struggling to break free.

I wrap my hand around the back of her head, pulling her into me. Her head rests on my shoulder, her body rocking as she lets the tears flow silently.

“Baby, this cannot be true,” I whisper, knowing the implications. Knowing that she’ll have a tie to the sick fucker that laid his hands on her, the guy who has made her life hell. If this turns out to be true, the outcome is barely worth thinking about.

“I don’t know, Cole. I really don’t know, but my gut instinct tells me there’s some truth to it. Too much of what he said…he simply wouldn’t have known unless he’s actually been there.”

“People talk, Kennedy. Rumors spread and you know there are ways of finding things like this out. You know the internet and stuff,” I ramble. Shit, I want to provide her with a substantial explanation that this has to be bullshit, but for now this is all I can muster, and it’s weak at best.