King (11 page)

I
made my way into the centre of the room, following the lead of the other women
there and assuming a suitably feminine and subdued pose. It reminded me of one
of those 1950’s dances I’d seen in films where the women sat on benches looking
demure and docile, waiting to be picked by the men. It was such a contrast to
the cut and thrust world of advertising that I occupied every day, foregoing my
femininity for thinly disguised aggression in the race to success, that I
actually enjoyed the contrast. It was nice not to be pigeonholed as permanently
one thing or another, and the flexibility of trading positions was as exciting
as it was enlivening, and for the first time I could see where the barrister
with the beautiful accent was coming from.

 
“Hello” said the deep voice, stirring me from
my thoughts as my eyes travelled upwards over the tall, broad man standing
before me and I smiled to myself, I was off the bench. “Hi I’m Charlotte” I
said, craning my neck to meet chestnut eyes, dark brown hair with natural blond
highlights, a rock solid body and crooked nose that hinted at years on a rugby
pitch. He was ruggedly handsome with a dazzling smile. “Ewan” he held out his
hand, squeezing mine firmly in a gesture that was in no uncertain terms letting
me know he could pick me up over his shoulder in an instant and take me back to
his cave, and it was a strangely thrilling thought. “I haven’t seen you here
before” he smiled, the Scottish hint to his accent, like music to my ears and I
was beginning to find the whole environment strangely exciting, full of
unspoken possibilities and utterly intoxicating. “It’s my first time Ewan” and
he tilted his head, assessing me closely. “Let me get you another drink
Charlotte” he grinned as I waited for him to return from the bar.

I
didn’t have to wait long, concluding that men like Ewan got served immediately,
rather like someone else I knew, thoughts returning to Jason, the bottom
suddenly dropping out of my stomach at the thought he might not want me. God, I
hadn’t even considered that possibility and my face fell. “Are you OK?” Ewan’s
soft Scottish accent brought me right back into the present. “Yes” I nodded
“I’m just a bit nervous” I smiled as I felt the radiating heat of a new
presence to my right, not as broad as Ewan but by no means less intimidating.
My stomach flipped at his appearance and fell as soon as I saw the anger carved
into his face. “Jason” Ewan held out his hand. “Would you excuse us” he said firmly,
his arm sliding around my waist as he all but pushed me to the exit onto a
deserted patio. I stole a glance back at Ewan who was cocking his head,
smirking at me and watching us, slightly bewildered.

“What
the fuck are you doing here Charlotte?” he
said,
his
voice low and deep but filled with an anger and emotion I wasn’t used to from
Jason. He was usually calm, usually in control, but right now he was anything
but. I didn’t answer, visibly shrinking under the force of his glare. “Are you
here because of me?” he demanded and I didn’t know what to say. I was, but I
wasn’t altogether sure that admitting it at this point was the sensible thing
to do, and I felt pretty sure it would land Sasha in the shit. She had betrayed
a confidence to help ease my suffering and I couldn’t jeopardise that for her.
“No, I wanted to give it a go. I didn’t know you’d be here” I tried, but it was
pretty unconvincing, my shallow breathing under his forceful heat making me
feel more than a little intimidated. If I had any chance of him believing me I
had to ‘Smith’ up.

 
“I don’t believe you”. I took a deep breath “I
don’t give a fuck what you believe King. If I remember correctly you can’t take
things forward with me, so why do you care anyway?” His eyes were blazing into
mine, so many emotions running through his gorgeous features I couldn’t even
begin to guess what he was thinking. “Have you done this before?” I shook my
head. “No, I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’ve never summoned up
the courage to come before. I decided I had nothing to lose today, being blown
out kind of does that to a girl King” I challenged him.
“Fine.
Just to let you know, that if you have come here for me, you’re wasting your
time. I would never introduce someone to this kind of lifestyle” he said with
a firmness
so unwavering I didn’t doubt for a second that he
was telling the truth.

“It’s
not about you, you arrogant conceited prick” I turned and walked to the other
end of the patio, not daring to go inside in case I wandered off with Ewan
through spite and got myself into all kinds of trouble. I could see the low
lights of a twinkling curved blue pool in the distance, and made my way there,
leaving King furious on the patio and trying desperately not to cry. I managed
until I hit the sun lounger, lowly lit under the blanket of the night and the
tears came, hot and soft, covering my cheeks in a relentless stream as I put my
head in my hands. What the hell had I done?

I
sat there for an age, trying to calm myself, but knowing I had fucked things up
irrevocably with King and made an enormous fool of myself by seeming to chase
after him when he’d already told me there was no way forward. I had wanted to
try this and at some point in the future I might, with Ewan or someone else,
but right now I only wanted King, and I knew he meant every single word he’d
just said.

The
jacket came around my shoulders as I shivered in the cool night air and I
recognised the woody masculine scent that inflamed my senses and exhaled
loudly, wiping my tears away as best I could, as he sat on the lounger beside
me. “I had no right to do that, I’m sorry” he said, sounding as deflated as I
felt. “But you really have to be straight with me here Charlotte” he said
holding my chin, pulling my wet face to meet his gaze. His anger had evaporated
eyes full of tenderness as he studied my face. “Did you come here for me?” The
softness of his voice cut through my resolve and I imagined my tears had
already betrayed my earlier lie. I nodded simply as he pulled me into him, holding
my head and soothing my hair in a gesture that so was affectionate and gentle,
the tears started to roll again.

 
“I’m sorry Charlotte, I can’t. I really want
to, but I can’t bring you into this when you’ve never done it before”. “Why?” I
whispered simply as he shook his head. So I was getting no answers. I sighed
deeply, asking the snivelling emotional wreck that was currently occupying my
being ‘What would Smith do?’ I pulled away, holding his gaze and smiling
through the tears. “Because you don’t want
me,
or
because I’ve never done it before?” He cupped my face, kissing my cheek
lightly, his mouth was set in a firm line and I knew he was being as open as he
could.
“Definitely the second one”.
I kissed his cheek
back, standing up and straightening my dress.

“Only one thing for it then King.
I’m going back inside. Next time you
see me, you can guarantee I’ll have done it before. Problem solved”. I pushed
my shoulders back and forced my feet forward, knowing myself well enough to
recognise the spontaneous, ill thought through behaviour I was displaying, that
would wind up landing me in an even bigger mess. I hadn’t even decided whether
I was calling his bluff or I was actually going to find the handsome rugby
player from earlier, but either way, I was moving ahead with steely resolve. He
had a choice to make. As I hit the patio steps, I prayed I would hear his
voice, but it never came. I made my way inside and headed straight for the
front exit where I got into a waiting
cab
and cried
all the way home.

I’d
made some terrible decisions around King and last night was up there as the
worst one yet. He wanted me but wouldn’t or couldn’t introduce me to that
lifestyle. The problem was that I wanted to try it now, but I wanted to try it
with King. He wouldn’t move forward in the usual fashion and he didn’t do
girlfriends. I had to be a totally deluded idiot. The man couldn’t spell it out
more clearly. There was only one thing for it. More pitches than I could handle
that would leave me mentally drained and too exhausted to think about anything
else. And cake I thought, reaching for a slice of lemon Madeira. I was still
way too mad at chocolate to even consider it. Sasha called around ten. I hadn’t
told King that she was my referee and wasn’t sure if he could find out, but
from her happy demeanour, I guessed it hadn’t mattered either way.

“How
did it go?” she smiled down the line, as I recalled the events of the night in
glorious detail. “Oh” she sighed simply and it made me laugh, there really was
nothing else to be said. “Yep, the Jason King ship has well and truly sailed” I
said eventually, as she apologised profusely for putting me in that position.
“You didn’t Sash, I’m a big girl and I made that decision all by myself” I said
in attempt to appease her and it was true enough. “I actually enjoyed it up to
that point. I met a nice guy called Ewan, really tall, Scottish, looks like
he’s taken a few knocks” I laughed.

“Ewan
McDowd
” professional rugby player and all round
awesome fuck apparently” she laughed. “See Sash, not a totally wasted evening.
I’ll get King out my system soon enough and then who knows”. As we said our
goodbyes I started to wonder just how long it would take to get Jason King out
of my system. Another piece of Madeira cake and work, work, work, but how the
hell was I going to make an interesting pitch for pre boiled eggs?

Monday
and Tuesday came and went in a blur of sales reports and practice pitches.
Anderson still hadn’t realised how close we were in revenue as Mondays sales
meeting was cancelled, and the deadline for the Exec of the Year nominations
was a week and a half away. I had spoken to Alison, who assured me that all
contracts signed by three o’clock on the last day would count. Katie assumed I
was still upset at being blown out by King and had absolutely no idea of the
disaster that had befallen me on Saturday
night,
I had
given Sasha my word. Her date with Robbie had lasted from lunchtime on Saturday
until lunchtime on Sunday and had qualified as ‘the best day of her life so
far’ she’d giggled as I listened intently to every detail, so happy for my
friend and the model cum would be architect.

 
It was fabulous to have a situation involving
the opposite sex that didn’t involve me, workplace skulduggery, or a certain
gorgeous marketing genius who worked next door, to focus on. Alison called a
meeting in the boardroom at five o’clock for an announcement. It would be
relating to the advertising awards, as the whole place was awash with gossip
about the event and the nominees. The only nominees announced on the night
itself were those for Executive of the Year, the others we would find out very,
very soon and it was just possible that my boss was about to take my five sugar
week to a one sugar week. Even if I was up for everything going, with Jason
King torturing my thoughts, a no sugar week was too much to hope for.

She
was grinning broadly as the execs, design teams and creative department filed
into the boardroom and I imagined Jason delivering the news to his happy team
next door. King Marketing usually won across the board. Aside from the pitches
he’d run for himself in the last few months, he generally divided them fairly.
It was unusual and one of the reasons his loyal staff were utterly devoted to
him. As I gazed at Alison with her cropped platinum hair and pursed red lips, I
envied them their stunning view. She was a good enough boss, but she was always
miserable I noted, as a frightening fear that I was turning into her crept
through me, and I forced a passably good smile as an outward display, just to
prove that I wasn’t.

The
creative’s were up for a flurry of TV, Magazine and Billboard awards, all in
highly competitive categories and they were buzzing with excitement. Ian Anderson
was up for breakthrough campaign award for a new airline company, and I was up
for campaign of the year for my dancing turtles as Katie hugged me. She was up
for its design. It was a fantastic campaign for a new hatchback and the dancing
turtle idea had followed through into big money merchandising and was being
recommended as a new cartoon for children’s television.

Apparently
turtles hadn’t been done since the ninja’s and this was aimed at a pre-school
audience, and I couldn’t contain my delight. All the other execs, with the
notable exception of a bitter Ian Anderson came over to congratulate me, and
for the first time in months I felt genuinely happy and elated at work. “We’re
celebrating tonight and the drinks are on me”
grinned
Alison as I went to question her about the other nominees in my category. I was
certain of at least one of them, as she confirmed my worst fears.

I
was nervous about the wine bar, but there was no way Katie was letting me get
away with it. “These moments are so rare and precious
Lotty
.
There are five execs in this building who would sell their own grandmothers to
be where you are now, and hundreds more across the country. You have fought
more than most for this, just remember the times with Gregg, the night in the
tube station, all the people you grew up with who are in jail, or worse. You
need to celebrate this, and you need to do it with the team who helped you to
make it happen. We’re all on that stage with you, just like we’ve been with you
all the way these last couple of weeks”. My heart sunk. Katie was the only one
who knew the about my life before I came here, and she also knew, that my
emotional turmoil was clouding my appreciation of just how big a deal this was.