Kingdom of Lies (Imp Series Book 7) (3 page)

I shrugged. “Like ‘Petunia’ is any better? Hey, at least she didn’t pick number three. He was going to take her on a joyride then infect a group of preschoolers with Ebola.”

“Good times, good times.” Rafi followed me to the kitchen. “So, what’s up with your wing?”

I still couldn’t hide the damned thing, and the numbness had vanished, replaced with a throbbing ache. “Long story.” I pushed the two demons out of the way and grabbed a couple of beers, handing Rafi one. He eyed the label then flicked the cap off with his index finger.

“So, who’s next on our list?” I asked after draining half the beer. I wanted our angel-demon dating project, Infernal Mates, to be successful, but I was hedging my bets. If I matched up demons I trusted first and built some credibility, I’d be able to better sell the service to higher-level demons. I had goals—big goals. After two-and-a-half-million years of separation, it was time for angels and demons to get busy with each other. And hopefully, if things went as planned, I might not be the only Angel of Chaos for long. New creation ... it was a heady thought even for me, a devout non-breeder. Someday maybe we’d be back to where we had been—Angels of Order and Angels of Chaos coexisting, producing offspring when the stars aligned and finding a match in those who were our opposites. Plenty of demons and angels would continue to prefer their own, but for those of us who were different, who craved our reverse, there would be an alternative.

Rafi grinned, taking a swig of beer. There were times I wondered how in the universe he’d ever been classified an Angel of Order. “I’ve got a good one, but you need to produce something better than vomit boy, lava dipper, and the player. What cha got for me, my black-winged hottie?”

I loved when Rafi flirted with me. “Depends. Got a couple of winners in my household, but if you’ve got something real special, I can shop it around.”

He raised an eyebrow, reminding me of his eldest brother. Warmth soared through me, rocketing to pulse between my thighs. Damn. It had been too long, way too long.

“One of my choir. He served as a Grigori in the eleventh century and has gone on to specialize in penance and rehabilitation.”

Damn. Maybe I wanted to meet this angel. I wracked my brains to think of a suitable match. Dar was already enthralled by some angel up in Chicago. That left me with Leethu and a household full of Lows. There were a few of my classmates I might be able to interest in an angel skilled in dominance activities. And possibly a few acquaintances who were higher in the hierarchy than me. Hmm.

“No problem. Two weeks? I’ll have three suitable candidates ready to go. Does your angel prefer male or female forms, or a demonic mishmash of animal mineral and vegetable?”

Raphael slouched back against my kitchen counter, one elbow braced against the doorway. “Male or female; he’s neutral in his energy balance and happy to accommodate either. He’s not a fan of mixed form, though.”

Good to know. “I’ll have three candidates ready to go.”

We drank our beers. Rafi eyed me with an intensity I found rather flattering. “When are you going to be the demon behind the curtain, my naughty Iblis? Or perhaps I should find three angels for you to question and pick your choice.”

I’d already picked my choice, but I loved flirting with the bad-boy Raphael. One of these days, his eldest brother was going to fuck him up for this, or maybe fuck me up for flirting back, but either way, it was worth any future repercussions.

“I need at least an archangel to satisfy me.” I looked up from under my lashes as I sipped my beer. “Maybe more than one. Two or three would be ideal.”

“You already have one worshiping your wings, and I’d be thrilled to play second fiddle. Who would be your third, though?”

Gabriel would die before he’d get within two centimeters of my spirit-self, and Uriel had vanished on some kind of spirit-quest nearly a year ago. That didn’t leave any other archangels, unless my beloved Gregory did his split-personality thing and appeared in another aspect. Three. Holy shit, what I could do with three angels making sweet love to me. What I could do with two angels making sweet love to me.

“I’ll wait to make my choice on that one. And you do realize that you’re pretty much signing your death warrant, or, at the very least, a long painful beating, by offering to be my back-up paramour?”

Rafi’s grin held, but I saw something deep in his eyes, something lonely and empty. “Wish I’d found you first, Sam. Even with all these pairings we’re doing, none of the demons I’ve seen are your equal. None have enough chaos to make me come to life.”

I watched Raphael finish his beer and vanish with a salute. What demon could I find that would touch his heart? I hated that sorrowful look in his eyes, hated the way he remained cheerful as other angels tried to find their mates. I went through every demon I knew, and none of them were worthy of being paired with this angel that I’d grown to love much as my own brother. My heart ached thinking of how long Raphael had waited for a match that could make him whole. How much longer would he have to wait?

R
afi was barely gone from my kitchen when Gregory popped in. I was thrilled to see him, my lover, my other half. I was less thrilled with his companion.

“Gabe, baby. Can I offer you some pizza? A cold beer?” The angel gave me a frosty look, refusing to answer. “A hair shirt? The rack? I can scourge away your sins, or brillo-pad your backside. I hear it does wonders for your vibration levels.”

“If you only paid as much attention to your own vibration patterns as you do to mine, you’d be a better angel.”

A better angel. Right. “Well, I appreciate your visit. Enjoyed our little chat so much. I know you have a million pressing, oh-so-important things to do. Bye-bye. See you probably a lot sooner than I’d like.”

“What happened to your wing?” Gregory reached out to touch the black feathers.

“I was attempting to raise the credit score of a human when I was attacked. He killed the human I was with. And I’m not doing any damned report for someone I didn’t kill.” The last sentence was directed at Gabriel, who didn’t seem to care that I was one-winged today. “Did you hear me? No. Report.”

Gabe ignored me and turned to Gregory. “Two months, brother. Just two months, that’s all I’m asking of you.”

“Two months what?” I asked, snagging a piece of hand tossed with pineapple out of the fridge and eating it cold.

Gregory turned from examining my wing and scowled at his brother. “No. I’m busy down here. After handling both jobs for over ten-thousand years, I can’t imagine what would be so difficult that you’d need me to take over for two months.”

Gabriel flinched then hid it all away behind a sneer. Guess it was hard having an older brother busting your balls for four-billion years. I kinda felt sorry for the angel. Dar had been harassing me for less than two-thousand years and
that
seemed like a hellish eternity. Older brothers were the worst.

“Two months doing what?” I asked. And yes, I was talking with my mouth full.

Gabriel continued to ignore me. “Something has come up, and I can’t be two places at once.”

“Why not? I can.” That was completely unfair of Gregory. Yes, he could do the whole aspect thing, but his different manifestations were only a fraction of who he was. Splintering oneself seemed like the ultimate multi-tasking solution, but the aspect you sent to do floral arrangements was usually the one who fucked it all up. Still, I’d love to be able to have that skill.

Gabriel ground his teeth. I didn’t think this conversation was doing much for his purity and vibration levels. Actually, I think pretty much any conversation that involved either me or his brother fucked up his vibration levels. Two of us in one room had to be torture.

“Two months doing what? Punishing angels? Because I’d totally like to help you with that one, Gaby-baby.”

“I’ve been single-handedly diffusing a revolution, trying to bring Aaru under some semblance of control. I already asked Raphael to go deal with the issue in Alaska. I just need you to make sure Aaru is stable while I go off and do this
one
thing. Two months. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Alaska?” Bits of pizza sprayed out of my mouth, so I quickly swallowed. “What’s going on in Alaska? I need Rafi here. He and I have important projects we’re in the middle of. You can’t just go sending him off to Alaska without consulting me.”

Well,
that
got everyone’s attention.

“An archangel, a member of the Ruling Council, is not yours to order about.” Gabriel jabbed a finger into my chest. “And what exactly are you doing with my little brother? It’s bad enough that this one is two steps from falling to Hel. Don’t go ruining Raphael, too.”

“Hey.” Gregory drew himself up to full height and stared down his brother. The air crackled with tension, and I scooted back, bettering my vantage point for what was probably going to be the fight of the century.

Disappointingly, Gregory only crossed his arms over his chest and turned to me. “There are some energy anomalies occurring. I’m looking into one of them, and I’ve got a few of my enforcers examining others. The Gate Guardian in Alaska is concerned and has asked us to check it out, so we thought it best to send Raphael.”

Energy anomalies. I tilted my head and thought through all the possibilities. “I wasn’t lying when I said I was attacked earlier. It was some kind of lion-scorpion thing. I’ve never seen anything like it, either here or in Hel. Do you think it’s related to these energy anomalies?” Maybe this energy was causing mutant lion monsters. Ugh. One more thing to add to the to-do list.

“A lion-scorpion?” Gabriel looked at me as if I were a lunatic.

“Yeah. The front end was like a sphinx, only without all the riddles, and the tail shot poisoned darts.” I wiggled my wing. “One hit me.”

Gregory and Gabriel exchanged some kind of angel’s-club glance that went totally over my head.

“What happened to it?”

I blinked at Gregory, thinking how best to answer this one. “I cut the scorpion tail off, but it ran away before I could kill it. Hey, I had a meeting that I was already late for. It’s not like I could spend the rest of the day running around the city looking for a lion with an amputated tail.”

Gregory shook his head and turned to his brother. “Rafi to Alaska. I’ll try to cover the energy anomalies on the lower part of the continent. Can you take South America, Europe, Asia, and Australia?”

Wow, that seemed pretty sucky in terms of an even delegation of job duties. I wasn’t a fan of Gabriel’s, but even I made a grumpy face at Gregory’s division of labor.

“No. I need you to handle this as the head of the Grigori. And watch Aaru for two months while I take care of this personal matter.”

He had to be fucking insane to make that sort of demand. I’d always thought Gabriel was a little off his rocker, but not this far.

“Brother. There is a revolution in Aaru. Hel is undergoing its own disruptions. We have energy anomalies, and apparently a renegade non-riddling sphinx running around among the humans. This is not the time to take two months off to handle personal matters.”

Gabe scowled. “We agreed the energy anomalies were a priority. What you’re calling ‘my personal matter’ is also a priority.”

“When was any of this voted on?” I asked, suspiciously. I didn’t pay much attention during our Ruling Council meetings, and last month I’d slept through most of one. Still, I had a feeling this hadn’t been on any of my agendas. Energy anomalies? And what the fuck was this personal mission of Gabriel’s?

“It wasn’t,” Gregory soothed me, a wave of calming blue energy accompanying his words. “The energy anomalies occurring here among the humans might be nothing, and we don’t want to cause any kind of rumor mill to start with Aaru still boiling over with revolution.”

Angels gossiped worse than demons. I swear they probably gave their blessing to every tabloid and paparazzi on the planet. Still, I had a bad feeling about this whole Alaska thing, as well as the lion monster loose in the city. Energy anomaly. The last time that sort of thing had happened, the angels had needed to shut down a major inter-realm gate and relocate it to a remote location—in Alaska.

“The humans haven’t set off a nuclear warhead over the gate at Devil’s Paw, have they?” Angel gates were amazingly powerful constructs, but they didn’t do well when atoms started splitting nearby.

“No, no,” Gregory hastily assured me. I remembered too late that the destruction of the gate in Russia was still a sore spot with Gabriel. Everything was a sore spot with Gabriel.

“Good.” Now back to our original topic. “So, what’s this two-month thing you’ve got to do?”

I really didn’t care. Knowing Gabriel, it was probably something mind-crushingly boring, like meditating on Mars. Poking my nose into his business annoyed him, though, so I did it every chance I could.

“Nothing you need to know about,” he snapped.

“Well, it’s something
I
need to know about,” Gregory drawled. “Especially if you’re asking me to handle both Aaru as well as the significant issues here for two whole months.”

I snorted. Two months were nothing to an angel. It was like Gabe asking him to watch the teakettle while he ran down the end of the driveway to grab the mail. I remembered my conversation with Gareth, the negotiations that always occurred whenever demons did business. Angels weren’t so different.

“This is a significant favor you’re asking,” I told Gabe. “You’re going to owe me big time for this one.”

The younger angel stared at me, mouth open. It wasn’t an attractive look for him. “I’m not asking you to do anything. There’s been no discussion of
you
doing me a favor at all in this conversation.”

I pointed at Gregory. “Having him gone is going to seriously cramp my style. I need him. He’s integral to my business operations. You can’t just pop down here and poach my angel without offering anything in return.”

“In spite of what my Cockroach wants or doesn’t want, I won’t even consider your request until you tell me what is so important that it takes you away from your divine responsibilities.”