Knight of Ocean Avenue (19 page)

His cell buzzed. At five-fifteen? The smile started before his brain caught up. He picked the phone up off the nightstand and clicked. “Hi. Why aren’t you asleep?”

Shaz’s sexy voice purred through the line. “I knew you’d be up, and I wanted to see how you feel.”

“Weird and good.”

“Better than good and weird, darling.”

Billy laughed. God, he liked this guy so much.

“I’m glad you feel good, and you know that weird is to be expected.”

“I guess.”

“Did you ever frot with another male before, like when you were a teenager?”

“What?”

“Frot. Rub your cocks together for satisfaction. A lot of kids do it, gay or not.”

“Yeah, once.” He smiled. “This guy on the baseball team with me in school. We were working out in the gym together, and you know how sometimes when you pump iron, you get kind of horny?”

“Ummm.”

“Well, we did, and we ended up in his car hanging on to both of our dicks and pumping like crazy. We laughed about it after, but we never worked out together again.”

“Some men do it as their primary means of sexual release.”

“No fucking?”

“Not all gay men ass fuck, darling. Some don’t like it.”

Billy watched his cock rise like the flag when the sun came up. “Do you?”

“Like it? Oh yes, I love to fuck.”

“Oh man.” The words poured out on a rush of breath.

“How would you like to pose for me?”

“What?” He’d expected the word to be
fuck
.

“Tonight? Remember how we talked about you being the new face of Shazam? Still want to do that? Now that we’re speaking?”

“Oh hell, I don’t know.”

“Please.”

“God, Shaz, I think I’d do anything for you.”

Two breaths of silence. “Really? I feel the same.”

His heart beat too hard.

“Come to my studio tonight as soon after work as you can get here, okay? I promise to make it worth your while.”

That promise could carry him through the whole day.

B
ILLY
PACKED
up his tools.
Long day
. He looked down at his dirty, dusty, exhausted body. In a few minutes, he’d be wearing beautiful clothes and maybe lookin’ a little bit good. Best of all, he got to see Shaz. Je-sus, he could hardly wait.

“Yo, Ballew.”

Billy looked up and nodded at Jim. “Hey, Carney.”

“Want to come out for a drink?”

“Can’t. Got an appointment.” He grabbed his ratchet screwdriver and loaded it in his carrier.

“I thought that damned wedding was over.”

“It is.” The silence stretched. Billy sighed quietly. “Actually, I got some clothes through this stylist who worked on the wedding. He asked me to pose for a photographer in the clothes. Said he’d give me a lot off the price of the duds if I do it.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not even.”

“Billy Ballew, fashion model.”

Billy struck a pose. “That’s me, man. Cover of
Sports Illustrated
.”

“Hey, I guess somebody might want to look at your ugly mug.”

“If I don’t break the camera first.”

He slapped Billy on the shoulder. “Well, watch yourself. Most of those fashion dudes are gay as a bag of jelly beans. Be sure it’s only pictures he wants to take.”

Billy sucked wind.
I could say it. I could
. Jim laughed, swatted his ass, and walked off chuckling. Moment? Gone. Billy exhaled slowly.

On the short drive to Shaz’s studio, that moment kept floating back into his mind. Jim had caught him by surprise, but if he hadn’t, would Billy have said something? “Not a problem for me, Jim, since I’m gay too.” Or “Actually, the guy’s my boyfriend.” Just thinking the words made him shiver.

He found a space about a block from Shaz’s studio and pulled a parallel between two Beemers. Was Shaz his boyfriend? Or just an experiment, like he’d said?
Crap, figuring out who you are is too much work.

Billy hauled some of his clothes out of the back of the truck cab and walked into the reception area. Millicent looked up from her desk and gave him a smile. “Hi, handsome.” She made a face. “Sorry, you’re a client. That’s Mr. Handsome.”

He smiled, even if it felt a little forced. How would she feel if she knew he was gay? “I’m no client. Just a big lug Shaz wants to take some pictures of.”

“Oooh, yeah. I knew Orstrum was here for some reason.” She picked up the phone. “Hang on. Let me announce you.” She said “announce” like it was a royal audience, then giggled. “Ru, Billy Ballew is here for the photo shoot.” She listened. “Coo-ol. I’ll send him back.” She hung up. “Go on in. I’m gonna come watch once they get you all prettified.”

Prettified? Je-sus
. He pushed his way through the door to the working part of the office. Shaz called it his studio, and it made sense since these people were artists. Artists of clothes, eyebrows, skin, hair.

Ru hurried over to him. “Hello, Billy. Shaz is tied up with his last client, so how about we start getting you into hair and makeup so you’ll be ready when he is?”

“Hair and what?”

Ru took the hangers from Billy. “Makeup. No worries. Just a little enhancement for the camera. You won’t believe what a difference it makes. Those women have all the luck.” He paused and struck a pose with his free hand behind his head. “Well, maybe not all the luck.” He laughed.

What does he know?
Ru was Shaz’s best friend. What had he told him? God, he felt weird.

Ru led him to the seat in front of the mirror Billy had sat in that day Shaz about made him blow his wad running his hands through his hair. No denying it. The guy did it for him. That was the truth.

A woman walked over, introduced herself as Sal, and went to work. After draping him in a plastic cape, she plucked the stray hairs from his eyebrows that had the audacity to grow back, then started wiping some creamy shit on his skin. “What’s that?”

“Foundation. It smooths everything out and gives it an even tone.”

“Do I really need that?”

“Hmm? Yes.” She kept applying. Then she took some dark pencil thing, pushed his head back, and started drawing a line around his eyes.

“Come on. I’m not a girl. I’m not even a model.”

“You are today, Mr. Ballew.” She let go of trying to poke the stick in his eye. “Look.”

He raised his head. “Holy shit.” He looked like—what? “I feel like a movie star or something.”

“Believe me, you look like one. Just one or two more touches.” Mascara. Yep, fucking mascara got applied to his lashes; then she came at him with this glossy pink crap in a little jar and started to put it on his lips. He pulled his head away. “Ummpft. No. There I draw the line.”

She laughed. “Okay. You don’t really need it anyway since your lips are already high colored.”

That was just the blush spilling over from his ears.

The same woman who had cut his hair at the wedding, Amy, walked up beside Sal. “Hey, how’s the hair?”

He put his fingers through it. “Probably a little dusty from work, but I washed it this morning.”

“Looks great, actually.”

Ru bustled up. “Is he good to go?”

Sal swept off the cape. “Yep, all yours, chief.”

“Come with me, darling.”

Billy got up and followed Ru. The guy’s mincing walk flagged him as gay a mile away, even without the clothes and dyed hair. Guys like Billy would catcall and jeer if Ru walked by a building site. Hell, Shaz was just as obvious. Would Billy be like them? Would he change so much people would be able to tell he was gay just by looking? Maybe they could now and they just didn’t say anything.

Ru turned and pointed at the clothes Billy had brought with him, now hanging on a rack. “Why don’t we start with the blue suit and pink shirt? I’ll do the rest. Okay?”

“Okay.” God, he could feel himself blushing. He didn’t feel comfortable around Ru anymore. He grabbed the suit and shirt, stepped into the dressing room, and pulled the curtain with too much snap. He propped himself on the stool in the corner.
Breathe.

His heart slowed down, and he stripped off his dusty work clothes. Just as he made it down to the boxer briefs, the curtains parted enough to frame a beautiful face. “Hi. Oooh, my timing is perfect as always.”

Billy startled, then felt a smile spread across his face despite his odd feelings. “Hi.”

Shaz’s grin faded. He stepped inside the tiny dressing room, closed the curtain, and looked up at Billy. “Are you okay?”

Billy leaned on the stool again. “Not exactly. I just feel weird, like I can’t get my bearings.”

“Normal, sweetheart. There are a few things about coming out to yourself as a teenager that are good. No defined life yet. Plus your hormones run you, so finding sex that works for you feels like a miracle that makes everything else pale. Not quite the case as an adult. You have more to lose.”

“Yeah.”

“Take it slow. Only do what feels right.”

Billy grinned. “Waste more time?”

“No, find
your
way. There aren’t any rules to sexual identity and expression, no matter what people think or society says. Look around and you’ll see it all, baby.”

Ru’s voice came from right outside the curtain. “Shaz, are you canoodling with my model?”

Billy jumped.

Shaz put a long-fingered hand on Billy’s cheek and called out, “Just having a heart-to-heart, darling.”

Ru’s voice murmured through the curtain. “Is that what they call it now?”

Shaz laughed. “Be right out.” He moved his hand to Billy’s chest above his heart and sent goose bumps up and down Billy’s bare arms. “Do what feels right, darling. Now get dressed and come wow us.”

Billy put on the shirt and the blue suit, pushed his feet into the boots, and stepped out of the dressing room. On the other side of the room, Ru motioned to him to follow. He led Billy into a back area of the studio he’d never seen. Maybe it was a storage area mostly, but in the middle of the space, a big roll of pinkish paper started high on some poles and curved down onto the floor. A bunch of lights shone onto the paper. Shaz was there, and a man with wild black hair that stuck out in all directions, and a young guy who seemed to be setting things up at the other two men’s commands.

Ru led Billy to a rack and turned. “Take off the jacket for a minute.”

Billy did, and Ru held out a tan leather vest. “Let’s try this under it.”

Wow
. It looked like it would be too small, but it fit perfectly. He glanced in the mirror as Ru helped him back into the jacket. The rough leather contrasted amazingly with the smooth formality of the suit. “This is cool.”

“Yes, I think so too. Let’s try another touch.” He took a patterned scarf from the rack and wrapped it around Billy’s neck. After one loop, he tucked it into the pink shirt. Billy made a face.

Ru stood back. “I agree. Too much.” He pulled the scarf off. “Let’s not gild the lily. You look great.”

Shaz called to them, “Is our model ready?”

Ru pointed Billy toward the paper. “Showtime.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Ollie will tell you.”

His feet felt heavy. This was all strange in the middle of some very strange days. As he approached, Shaz looked up. “Wow. Just wow.” He came over and took Billy’s arm. Billy glanced at Ru and the stranger. What did they think? Was Shaz just being Shaz, or did they know? Shaz pointed toward the wild-haired guy. “Billy, this is Ollie Orstrum, one of the West’s most famous photographers.”

The man spread his arms. “West’s. Where do you get West’s? Most famous photographers anywhere!”

Shaz laughed. “I meant western world, darling, but I will admit I underspoke. Ollie, this is your model, Billy Ballew.”

Orstrum came up to Billy’s chest. He walked around him like he was picking out a steak. “Nice. Very nice. I get your vision, Shaz. Show the world how good a tough guy can look. Excellent.” He pointed toward the paper. “You’ll be on there.”

Somebody had laid out an extra piece of paper on top of the big roll.

“Just walk on there. We do everything digitally now, so if you mark the paper, it’s no problem. But the seamless lets me play with light and shadow.”

What was he talking about? Billy stepped out on the paper trail. When he got a few feet in, Orstrum said, “Good, right there. Now look back at me.”

Bright
. The lights were intense. He squinted.

“You’ll get used to it in a minute.”

“What should I do?”

Shaz’s voice came from somewhere in the bright beyond. “Just talk to me, darling.”

“Uh, what about?”

“Tell me about your job.”

He shrugged. “Not much to tell. I supervise construction. I do a lot of work myself and make sure the other guys stay on track. I manage the subs and try to keep the owners happy.”

“What’s your funniest owner story?”

He grinned. He could hear a lot of clicking, but it sort of came from all over. “I had this one couple where the lady was always trying to feed me and would bring food for the whole crew. Her husband yelled because she was slowing down the work, but the guys loved her. Funny thing was, nobody on the crew ever missed a day because they might not get one of Mrs. Hastings’s creations. We actually brought the job in ahead of time—and about ten pounds heavier. Those guys practically cried when they had to leave Mrs. Hastings.” He chuckled to himself and out there, the photographer just kept on clicking.

“Hang on a second.” Shaz walked out onto the paper. “I want to try something. Let’s take off the jacket now.” Shaz helped him shrug it off. “Lean down.” Shaz clipped something onto his earlobe.

“What’s that?”

“It’s an earring. I think it will be incredibly sexy. Okay?”

Billy shrugged. Seemed pretty gay to him. Oh right, he
was
gay.

“Here, sit on this.” Shaz grabbed a stool the assistant kid handed to him and placed it on the paper.

Billy plopped his butt down and stuck his leg out to balance.

Shaz grinned. “Perfect.” He turned. “Did you get that, Ollie?”

The photographer’s voice came from behind the lights. “Yeah. Reach back and scratch your shoulder blades, Billy.”