Knight of Ocean Avenue (22 page)

Jenkins voice came from behind him. “We have a say in what’s acceptable for a coach.”

“Knock yourself out.” Billy got in the truck, backed out without ever looking at Jenkins again, and pulled out of the parking lot. He sounded tough, but he hadn’t once told Jenkins that he was gay.

S
HAZ
LOOKED
up at the vaulted ceilings in the old building. The place had promise, but it was a wreck. Kind of like he felt right now. How self-centered could he be? He wanted to guide Billy Ballew into the grand world of gayness. Forget all the crap that came with that world. Shaz barricaded himself in a profession where being gay was not only accepted, it was appreciated. Gay men were considered more artistic, more fashionable than straight men, no matter what the truth might be. And after hours he dated rich men who could thumb their noses at society and be, like Shaz, any damned way they wanted. None of that applied to Billy.

“Hey, sweetheart. You’re deep in thought. Adding up reno costs?”

Shaz turned. Ru made his way across the rubble and detritus on the concrete floor. “Hi. No. I was drifting.”

“I like this place. It has a lot of promise.” Ru kissed Shaz’s cheek. “Where did you go on your drift?”

Shaz shook his head.
Too hard to talk about
.

“Shaz?”

“This is a great old building, but I think the amount of work to restore it to any kind of useful state would take more than we have.”

“That’s not what’s bothering you.”

“Shaz, you here?” Billy’s voice came from the door.

Ru looked at Shaz and widened his eyes.

“I asked Billy to look at the place and see if we can afford to do anything reasonable with it.”

“Ah, I see.” He saw far too much.

Billy walked up beside Shaz. “Hi, Ru.” He glanced at Shaz, looking uncomfortable, then back at Ru. “What do you think of the place?”

“Really interesting. I like the high ceilings.”

Billy glanced at Shaz again. “Let me nose around a little. I probably won’t be able to see if the wiring is bad or the plumbing is crap without looking inside the walls, but I’ll check things out as best I can.” He swallowed noticeably and looked like he wanted to say something else, then exhaled and walked off toward the back of the big building.

Ru frowned. “What was that all about?”

“I put him in such a terrible position. I got all excited about the building and drove up to his Little League practice and barged in on him. He just said some of the parents were assholes, but my guess is that they didn’t like seeing me with their big butch coach. I just didn’t think.”

“You shouldn’t have to think about it. You can go any damned place you please.”

“Yes, well, sort of.”

“You really like the guy.”

Shaz sighed. “Yes. But we’re so different. I’m definitely a PhD in gay, and our boy isn’t out of kindergarten.”

“But he does play for our team?”

“Yes. I actually don’t think he’s even really bi, despite his long track record with women. He’s attracted to men.”

“He’s attracted to you.”

“I’m sure he can get over it.” The words felt like lye in his throat.

“Shaz, where are you?”
What?
Shaz turned toward the door.

Ru whispered, “Sorry. I forgot to tell you, Sissy called and I told her where we were going to be.”

Well, damn and little fishes. Alexander
. Picking their way across the rubble were Sissy in towering heels and her boss, the inimitable, inestimable Alexander Longstory. Tall, elegant, reeking of money and style. Shaz pulled out his best smile. “Ladies and gentlemen. To what do I owe this honor?”

Sissy held Alexander’s arm as they stepped over some old drywall and got to Shaz and Ru. “Wow, this is quite a building.”

Alexander broke away from Sissy’s hold and wrapped his arms around Shaz for a huge hug. That was interesting. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“You have?” News to him.

Alexander stepped back, still holding Shaz in his arms. “Yes. And I don’t want you to make any decisions about this or any building until we’ve talked. I think you’ll be very interested in what I have to say.” He stepped forward and embraced Shaz again. “It’s so good to see you, you sexy beast.”

Footsteps sounded behind him. Shaz pushed out of Alex’s arms and looked around. Billy had a crease between his eyebrows, but otherwise the expression was neutral.

Sissy stepped over to Billy. “Hi, sweetie. I didn’t know you were here. Smart of you, Shaz.” She turned to Alex. “Alex, this is Billy Ballew. I told you about him. My date for the wedding and stuff. Billy, this is my boss, the great stylist Alexander Longstory.”

Billy extended his hand. Alex was tall, but Billy still dwarfed him. He gave a small smile. Maybe it was just imagination that Billy was tarring Alex with the same brush he’d used on Giles. To a big, honest man like Billy, they all must seem like posers.

Alex grinned. “Ah yes, the blue-collar boy.” Billy’s mouth tightened slightly, but Alex kept talking. “And your model, I understand, right, Shaz? You have always had such an eye for beauty. I’m so pleased to meet you, Billy. Any friend of Sissy’s is a friend of mine.” He looked back at Shaz. “Now for the purpose of my visit. Why don’t we all go out for a drink and talk vision and the future?”

Billy put up a hand. “No problem. Shaz, I’ll call you with a report on the building.”

Alex took hold of Billy’s hand, which made him look even more uncomfortable. “No, no, my friend. You must come too. Sissy would be so disappointed if you don’t. And you too, Ru. You’re very involved in this.” He waved his arms a bit. “Sissy and I drove separately, so Shaz, you come with me, and Sissy will take the boys, and we can all rendezvous at Las Gatos on the hill. Deal?”

Billy glanced down at his jeans and sweatshirt. “I’m not really dressed.”

Alex waved a hand again. “Nonsense. You look better like that than most people do in a tux. Besides, there’s no dress code in the bar.”

Sissy grabbed Billy’s arm again. “Please come, Billy.”

Billy glanced at Shaz. Shaz stared at his shoes. Damn, he’d like to take Billy’s hand and tell him he wanted him there. But did he? With Alex? Alex was making the assumption that Billy was straight and somehow interested in Sissy. Shaz couldn’t out Billy. Especially not when he didn’t even know what was true for the guy right now. Or himself. Shaz smiled, but it had to look damned helpless.

Sissy tugged on Billy’s arm. “Come on, silly. It’ll be fun.” She hauled him toward the door, which was like a flea pulling a bull, and it made Billy chuckle. Just the sound had Shaz’s stomach flipping. Ru followed them, which left Shaz with Alexander. My oh my, what an interesting development this was.

“O
F
COURSE
,
the Shazam stuff would have to go. We would call it Longstory and Phillips.”

Billy stared at Alexander as the man sketched out Shaz’s future. It took every ounce of will not to get up and run.

Shaz grinned, but it looked cool. “Longstory and Phillips? Not in my town, darling.”

Alex waved a hand. “No problem. We can do Phillips and Longstory. After all, you would head this office, and I would be in charge of LA.”

“But you’re saying we would split the proceeds from both offices?”

“Since I’ve been established longer, I would think we would split LA more like sixty/forty and split Laguna fifty/fifty since I’d be bringing my name to the Laguna enterprise, which is bound to grow business.”

Billy sipped his beer. This guy sounded worse than Giles. Sadly, he was also even better-looking.

Shaz swirled his champagne. “Sorry, darling, that won’t wash. Yes, you have a great brand, so if you’re right, then LA will automatically generate more income than Laguna. It makes sense. You have a far larger potential clientele there. So if you’re earning the greater share of LA, it would be equable for me to earn a larger share of Laguna.”

“Yes, yes, our lawyers can work out the details.” He slipped an arm around Shaz’s shoulders, and Billy’s heart dropped into his stomach. Alex smiled. “But we’ve always been so compatible. As soon as I heard about your split with that awful man, I knew I had to strike while the iron was hot or I might lose my chance forever. I know we’d get along perfectly.” He nuzzled Shaz’s ear. “My God, darling, I’m even a bottom.”

Enough
.
Can’t breathe
. Billy stood, pushing the seat back with a scrape. “Sorry. I need to go.” He put a hand on Sissy’s shoulder. “You stay. I can walk back to my truck, no problem.” He glanced across the table but couldn’t meet Shaz’s eyes. “Sounds like you may not need my report on the building, but I’ll send it by e-mail, just in case. Good meeting you.” He turned and started walking past the crowded tables. Maybe he heard Shaz call him. Maybe not. Couldn’t tell with all the noise. He pushed the front door open, and the fresh early evening air felt good on his hot face.

On the count of ten, he was already halfway down the sidewalk to the next light.
Just walk fast. Breathe.
This is good. It makes sense
. This was the kind of deal, and Alex was the kind of man, Shaz needed. What the fuck had Billy thought Shaz was going to do with a guy like him long-term? It was actually funny to think about. Were they gonna go out and drink beer and shoot darts? Was Shaz going to sit home with a couple of cats and watch football on TV? He hadn’t thought it through. The guy was so nice, he’d never laugh in Billy’s face.

Keep breathing
. He waited by the light at the corner of Broadway. When it changed, he sprang into the crosswalk and beat the other pedestrians across.

No, it was good he went to the bar with them. Now Shaz didn’t have to break the news to him.
Sorry Billy, I’ve got this hot new business partner and, oh yeah, he also happens to be my hot new boyfriend
. It was better all around. He was scared to come out, or he would have told fucking Carl Jenkins the truth. This way he could take it slow. Maybe he’d find some other guy he liked sometime. Maybe. Or he could just stay single. That way he’d never have to tell his mother he was gay.

A couple of tourists stared at him as he jaywalked across Broadway and cut through the alley to Ocean where they’d seen the building.
What the hell?
Did he look that strange?

He stopped and peered in the window of the dry cleaners. He almost laughed. Those tourists had been staring at the six-foot-five slob walking down the street—crying.

A
LEX
CROWDED
Shaz’s space. “Are you sure you won’t let me drive you home?”

Shaz shook his head. “No. Sissy can take me and Ru back to the studio. I have some work to do. No sense taking two cars.”

“This isn’t about being sensible, darling.”

Shaz gazed up at the handsome face surrounded by deep brown hair artfully graying at the temples. Alex was a legend in styling circles. He’d created images for some of Hollywood’s biggest stars and society’s leading lights. Shaz came close these days, but Alex was fifteen years older. He’d had a running start. “No, not tonight, luv.” He reached up and kissed his cheek. “Be well. I appreciate your amazing offer, and I’ll be in touch with my thoughts.” Sometime when his brain worked again and he didn’t feel like his heart was crumbling to dust.

“I’ll look forward to it.” Alex held the car door as Shaz got in the back behind Ru; then he leaned in and kissed Shaz on the temple. “Can’t wait.” He slammed the door, and Shaz slowly sighed.

Sissy glanced back. “All set?”

“Yes.”

She backed out as Alex waved from the restaurant parking lot. When they’d pulled onto the Pacific Coast Highway, she chuckled. “He sure likes you, Shaz.”

Shaz stared out the window. “That’s news to me.”

“When I told him that you and Giles broke up, he practically levitated. He wouldn’t let me call you for him. Said he had to come and see you in person.”

“Huh.” How did he feel about that? At the moment, nothing.

She giggled again. “And you were really smart not to let him take you home. Alex loves the chase. He’s probably salivating back there in the parking lot right now.”

Shit. Games. Always fucking games.

The silence in the car hurt his ears. Outside in the dying light, people walked from shop to shop and stopped at Starbucks for coffee.

Sissy made an “um” sound. Then quiet. “Um, what happened with Billy?”

Quiet. Shaz stared out the window.

“Why did he run off like that?”

Ru spoke up for the first time. “He got his feelings hurt.”

Quiet.

Sissy glanced toward Ru. “He’s gay, isn’t he? He likes Shaz.”

“Yes, very likely so.”

“I wondered when I saw them dance together. Hard to believe two guys could be that sexy if one of them wasn’t interested, you know?”

“I didn’t see them dance, but yes, I do know.”

Shaz gritted his teeth and tried to talk. “I’m here, you know, and we aren’t in high school.”

Quiet.

The words burst out of Sissy. “I would never have brought Alex here if I thought it would hurt Billy. I mean, I’m not one of those women who says all the good guys in the world are gay, but you gotta admit, you do have some great people on your team.”

What the hell could you say to that except yes, if it happened to include Billy Ballew.

She pulled to the curb in front of the studio. It was both early enough to miss the restaurant dinner traffic and late enough that the beachgoers were leaving, so she got a spot.

Shaz grabbed the door handle.
Get out of this car.

Sissy looked back as Ru swung out of the front seat. “Shaz.”

Damn.
He’d almost escaped. “Yes?”

“If I had Alexander Longstory and Billy Ballew interested in me, I wouldn’t even think twice.”

“Oh?”

“I’d choose Billy every time.”

Didn’t answer. Couldn’t. He blew out a breath and climbed out of the car as fast as he could. He let Ru close his door as he powered to the front entrance of the studio. Had to get inside. Apparently no one was working late because the door was locked. He fished for his key, opened the door, and stepped into the entry, lit only by the fading sun through the front windows. He took a step and stopped. Two staggers backward brought him against the wall next to the door. No more knees. He slid to the floor.
Shit. Fuck. Piss. Crap
.