Authors: Ruthi Kight
I
was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear anyone approach, so when I heard the
masculine grunt I shot up. I must have scared him pretty badly as well because
he jumped back as well, throwing his hands up in a defensive gesture.
“What
the hell Chase?” My heart was beating rapidly, thumping loudly against my
ribcage.
“Sorry.
I thought you heard me,” he said as he lowered his arms. His chest was heaving
as well as he tried to calm his nerves as well.
“What
are you doing here?” I snapped.
“Me?
What are
you
doing here? This is my spot, remember?”
“I
don’t see your name on it.” Okay, so that was childish, but at this point I
didn’t care.
“Grow
up Roxie. Shit,” he said as he ran his hands through his hair. His action left
his hair tousled, but not like the guys I knew back home. They would spend
hours on their hair, trying to recreate this look, but never coming close.
None of them could ever hold a candle to Chase.
“I’m
not leaving.”
“Neither
am I.”
We
stared at each other, invisible daggers flying from our respective eyes. I
broke first, tearing my eyes away from him. I couldn’t sit here and stare at
him without thinking about the last time we were alone. How I wish I could
take back those words. We had been so close to kissing, but I had to open my
big mouth and tell him that I felt nothing for him. Now, the only person who
truly understood me couldn’t stand to be around me. Two points for my idiocy,
once again, I mentally kicked myself.
I
pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. The silence between us was
uncomfortable. I couldn’t handle being this near him, not speaking, when all I
wanted was to crawl into his arms and let the pain subside. Just as I was
about to make a hasty retreat, he finally spoke.
“It
doesn’t have to be like this, ya know?”
“Like
what?” That’s right. I’m feigning ignorance. Leave me alone.
“Awkward.
I mean, okay, it seriously sucked when you said you didn’t feel that way about
me. But oh well. You’ve got every right to feel however you want.” He had sat
and was systematically ripping grass out of the ground as he rambled. “I
assumed there was something there...but I was wrong. I get it.”
“Stop!
Just stop being so damn nice!” I jumped to my feet and brushed the dirt from my
butt. He stared up at me for a minute before standing as well. His movements
were more controlled. He was in no rush to deal with this standoff.
“What
do you want me to do? Want me to yell and scream? Throw a punch? What?” His
hands were gesturing wildly in front of my face, causing me to take a step
back.
“I
want you to hate me!” I screamed. I immediately wished I could take the words
back. The color drained from his face as he stared at me.
“Hate
you? Why, Roxie? Why would you want me to hate you?”
“Forget
it.” I turned and walked away, but I didn’t make it far. I felt his hand grasp
my arm and pull me to a stop. I didn’t face him. I couldn’t. I felt the first
drops of rain as the sky finally opened up.
“No.
I won’t forget it. Tell me why.”
I
spun on my heel to face him, my blood boiling in my veins. I wanted to scream
at him. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. I was in too deep to hate him.
“You
should hate me! Then I wouldn’t want to do this!” I yelled right before I
grabbed his shirt, my arms sliding around to the back of his neck as I pulled
him closer. I didn’t hesitate. I pressed my lips against his and closed my
eyes. I expected him to pull away, to yell at me, something, but he didn’t.
Instead, I felt his hands as they snaked around my waist. He pulled my body
flush with his and slowly ran his hands up and down my back. I couldn’t stop
the shiver that coursed through my body.
The
rain was coming down harder now, cascading down our entwined bodies. Not that
I could feel a single drop. My body was on fire from the feel of his lips, the
pressure of his hands, as the sparks flew between us. My toes were curling in
my shoes as I fought against knees that had suddenly gone weak.
I
was losing control of the situation. I had to stop, but his soft lips were
still moving, causing my heart to stutter. I had been kissed before, but
nothing compared to the heat that I felt in this moment. Too soon the moment
ended and Chase drew back. He was smiling, so at least that was a good sign.
“I’m
thinking that hating you would be bad for me,” he said as he smiled.
I
laughed and gently slapped my hand against his chest. I meant to pull it back
immediately, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the contact. Instead I kept
it there as I stared into his eyes. There was a sparkle there again. Could I
have been the one to put it there?
“If
you were smart you would stay away from me.”
He
groaned and took another step away. “C’mon Roxie. Don’t push me away. Not
after that...that kiss.”
I
closed the gap between us and slipped my arms around his neck once again.
“Guess it’s a good thing that you don’t know when to run.”
His
lips met mine, but with a sense of urgency that hadn’t been there before. I
felt the heat coursing through my veins as he deepened the kiss. His tongue
lightly traced the outline of my lips and when my lips parted his tongue gently
darted inside, a small moan emanating from me at the sensation. That small
noise gave him all the prompting he needed. His arms wrapped tighter around my
body, pulling me against his strong chest. My hands slid from his neck and
began to roam up and down, delving into his hair and then sliding down to grasp
his waist, exploring every inch in between.
My
head began to spin from the intensity. I broke the seal of our lips and drew
in a shaky breath. My body was quaking as I leaned against him, trying not to
pass out. He continued to run his hands up and down my back as I inhaled his
delicious scent. I would forever remember this moment, wrapped in his arms, my
world lying in tatters all around me. We had gone past the point of friends,
even though I had told myself repeatedly that we wouldn’t.
“You
smell like apples,” he mumbled as his nose pressed into my soaked hair.
I
couldn’t help but laugh. There was something so innocent about his words. “If
smelling like apples will get you to hold me like this every day, I’ll bathe in
a tub of them.”
“Now
there’s a fun mental image.”
I
leaned back and playfully smacked him on the arm as he laughed. The moment
felt so right, but like a douse of cold water on a flame, I remembered that it
couldn’t be forever. “What happens at the end of summer?” I whispered the
question. A part of me needed to know, but the other part was content to delay
the inevitable.
“Let’s
not think about it right now. I just want to enjoy you while I can,” he said
as he pressed one of my hands to his mouth. I almost melted right there.
“As
Katy said, I’ll let it go for now,” I said as I smiled up at him. My heart was
wrapped in warmth and I would give anything to keep it that way. I didn’t
think we should ignore the future, but that’s what people do with summer
romances. They burn hot, but fizzle out by the end. We would probably be sick
of each other by the time I had to leave.
“By
the way, Betty called me earlier. Did you seriously steal her truck?” He
laughed at my face as heat rose in my cheeks.
“Damn!
How mad did she sound?”
“Pretty
darn mad. Maybe we should head there. Ya know, before she calls out the
cavalry to track you down,” he said with a laugh, releasing his hold on me long
enough to grab my hand.
“They’re
probably already out looking for me. What’s one more minute?” I asked as I
pulled him back to me and pressed my lips to his once again. If I was going to
be grounded anyway, I was determined to enjoy what little freedom I had left.
* * * *
Two
hours later and I finally made it to my room. Grandma was really upset about
her truck, but she understood why I did it. The part that really made her mad
was Chase pulling into the yard behind me. When she saw us she knew something
was going on. My lips were swollen and lightly bruised from kissing and his
hair was even more disheveled than usual. We were seriously busted.
“Both
of y’all get in this house. Now,” she said as she stared down at us from the
top of the porch. She abruptly spun on her heel and went inside. I looked over
at Chase and groaned. I was not looking forward to this conversation.
“Don’t
worry. We can handle this,” he said as he gripped my hand and walked with me
up the steps.
It
was so weird to hear him refer to us as a “we.” It felt right. We spent the
next two hours hearing “y’all” quite a bit, once again lumped together. I
couldn’t help but smile, even if it made Grandma even madder each time I did.
Little did she know that she was the reason I kept smiling. Well, that and it
was kind of fun to make her blood pressure rise. Some habits are hard to
kick. I ended up grounded for a week, but it was so worth it.
Later
that night, as I lay on my bed, I called Chase. I was completely caught off
guard when a female answered his cell phone. “Hello?” The voice seemed
familiar, but I couldn’t quite place who it was.
“Um...is
Chase there?” I asked, hoping that I had dialed the wrong number.
“Sorry
sweetie. He’s...occupied at the moment,” she replied sweetly.
“Um...okay...who
is this?”
A
throaty laugh came through the phone and I was finally able to place the
voice. Jenn, the witch from the hospital. What was she doing with Chase’s
phone?
“Don’t
worry about who I am. He’s going to be busy for the next few weeks, so you
should probably stop calling. In fact, stop throwing yourself at him. He told
me how you have been coming on to him every time you see him. It’s pathetic,
really,” she said as she laughed.
“What?
I...I didn’t...did he tell you that?” I felt my throat threaten to close up. I
had to force the words out as I fought the urge to scream.
“Do
us all a favor,
city girl
, go back to where you belong.”
I
heard the call end and I pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at it like
it was a foreign object. I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw the phone
against the wall. But more than anything, I wanted to smash Jenn’s perfect
face into a brick wall. How could Chase tell her those awful things? When we
kissed it had felt real, not like I had forced myself on him. Evidently he had
lied about how he felt about me. I knew I should have kept my distance, but
no, I had to be
that
girl. He had managed to fool me once, but I would
make sure that didn’t happen again. Never again.
I
spent my week of grounding in my room, only coming out to eat meals,
immediately returning to my hole right after. Grandma kept asking me if
everything was okay, but I ignored her questions. I didn’t want to talk about
Chase, especially not with her. She asked if I had been by to see Katy since
she went home, but she knew that answer. I hadn’t left the house in a week. I
had talked to Katy on the phone numerous times, but I hadn’t even told her what
had happened with Chase. That was my dirty little secret and I wanted to keep
it that way.
Sure,
it would have been fun to tell everyone what kind of scum he was, but deep down
I still cared about him. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about him that way.
Since I couldn’t say anything nice, I didn’t say anything at all. Katy offered
more than once to come over with a couple of movies, but I declined every
time. I wasn’t really in the mood to watch a bunch of sappy movies and gossip
about people that I didn’t even know. What I really wanted was to call Amber.
I
never did though, no matter how much I wanted to. I did, however, call my
mom. She sounded really depressed, which I expected, but when I had talked to
Dad, he hadn’t sounded sad at all.
“Mom,
are you okay? You sound terrible,” I said as I stood in front of my bedroom
window, the phone pressed to my ear.
“I’m
fine. Just tired, I guess,” she replied with a sigh.
“You
don’t sound fine. You sound terrible. Have you...have you talked to Dad?” I
wanted to know how the divorce proceedings were going, but I couldn’t bring
myself to ask. I didn’t want to do anything that might set her off.
“No,”
she spat the answer at me. “And I don’t plan on it.”
“Sorry
I asked,” I said as I released the breath I hadn’t realized I had been
holding. “Mom, when can I come home?” I had been thinking about home this
whole week and I was ready to be there. I couldn’t possibly make it through
the entire summer here.
“Not
yet. I told you. You shouldn’t be here for all of this.”
“You
do realize that children watch their parents go through this all the time,
right? I mean, even young kids have been through this. I hate it here,” I
whined. I hadn’t meant to whine, but my sweet voice wasn’t doing the job. I
wanted her to know how much I detested this situation.
“I’m
sorry baby. Once this is all over you can come home. I promise.”
We
said our goodbyes shortly after, both of us tired of arguing about the same
thing. I would just have to tough it out here for a while longer. I decided
to go downstairs to see if Grandma had gotten home from the farm yet. She had
been staying later and later since I had been grounded. I didn’t bother to ask
why. To be honest, I didn’t really care at that point. When I got downstairs
I heard laughter from the living room. I walked in and nearly ran back out.
Sitting there, on our couch, was Jenn and Chase. They were talking and
laughing with Grandma as if nothing was wrong.