L'amore: The Luminara Series (50 page)

Pissed?

Understatement
.

I need to lift the phone away from my ears; he’s so loud and swearing so badly.

I’m sure Jackson heard Lucca’s rant. Blushing, I move his hand from my leg, wriggle off my stool, giving him an apologetic look, and go into the lounge and shut the door.

“Lucca, please calm down.” I hobble to the sofa and slump down.

“Calm down? Baby, I want to come home and I fucking cannot right now. I knew I should have brought you.”

“No, Lucca, don’t be irrational. I was running with Doris, and I didn’t take my phone. I tripped over a branch and fell over on my ankle, but it’s absolutely fine. I was lucky that Jackson was out running because he helped me home. I know how you feel, but if it weren’t for Jackson, I’d probably still be stuck there. Please be reasonable. I promise you with all my heart that this is innocent, and I’m in one piece.” I sound snarky, leaning over to examine my ankle again.

“Baby, it is not you. I trust you, sweetheart. It is that bastard I do not trust. I want to be there for you, not some stranger looking after you. Did he touch you? Did the fucker place his hands on you?”

I lie. My heart beats out of control, and I feel a rush. It begins with tingling then ends in numbness. I hate lying, and especially to Lucca, but I’m afraid it will hurt him if I tell him the truth.

“No, he never touched me, other than to carry me to the car because I was hobbling. He dropped me off and stayed to make sure I was okay and looked at my cuts. Cameron is here looking after me now, so you don’t need to worry.” I hear Lucca suck in sharp breath then hiss.

Exaggeration.

Jackson’s hands have been touching, cleaning, and stroking my skin, and Cameron’s more focused on the football match, but I’m not telling Lucca every last detail. It will send him into a seizure.

There is silence on the line and heavy breathing. “Lucca, talk to me.” He’s still silent. Faltering, my voice breaks. “I’m sorry, it was an accident. I can’t help who helped me, Lucca. It was coincidence.” After the coincidence of Lucca and I bumping in to each other in Tuscany, he should know fine well these things happen.

“Fuck, Lexi, do not dare apologise. I know, baby, I know. I just hate that he is with you and I am not. I saw the way he looked at you yesterday, and I know he wants to fuck you.”

I don’t know if it’s guilt, but suddenly I feel like I’m getting a scolding, and a few tears escape my eyes tricking down my cheeks. I hold it back but Lucca knows me so well, every emotion I have shared with him has him so attuned to me.

“Are you crying?” He softens his tone and curses. I think he’s angry with himself for hurting me.

“No,” I silently sob, muffling my sniffles.

“You bloody well are. Please, baby, do not cry. I am sorry. I am so sorry for shouting at you. I just love you so much and want to care for you. It kills me I cannot do it when I am not there.”

I swallow a lump at the back of my throat. “I just twisted my ankle and it’s nothing, so please focus on your work. Jackson just brought me home, but he’s leaving, and I need to go to an appointment at the clinic.”

“Good, I am glad he is leaving. I will have Marco come and pick you up. I am sorry, Lexi. Please, do not be upset. If I could, I would be back home in a few hours.”

I know he would and I’d love him to be back here with me wrapped in his embrace, but that’s ludicrous and he has obligations as do I.

“No, I’m fine. I’d be annoyed with you if you left important business to come home. I’m missing you and of course I can’t wait to see you but I’ll cope. I’d rather you concentrate on your meetings and work.” I’m fighting to hold back my tears, but it really is obvious I’m upset.

We bicker back and forth until I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and not to worry and that I’ve already made plans with the girls anyway so I won’t be on my own.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Really, Lexi? Do not bullshit me. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I just don’t like upsetting you.”

“Baby, you could never intentionally upset me, you know that, right? I fucking love you. I will make this up to you, I promise. I am so sorry for shouting at you, and I am so sorry I am not holding you right now. I would tenderly kiss you then bury myself so deep inside you so I could take all your pain away and give you nothing but pleasure, love, and devotion.”

Emotional.

Again.

His voice is breaking, and I’m having to press my legs together to quell the raging throbbing desire in my hot core. His sensitive words hit me every time, mind, heart, soul, and sex.

“It’s okay, I knew you’d be mad. I’m upset because I’m premenstrual and my hormones are all over the place. I’m not upset with you, but I will definitely take you up on the pleasure and devotion. That always makes me feel better.”

I refrain from telling him I’m in pain, feeling sick and dizzy and don’t have an appetite, which will have him checking into departures quicker than I can drink a glass of wine.

“I got your gift. I love it, dolcezza. That pen will light up my week without you. You are so goddamn special and kind. I love you. I cannot wait much longer until you are my wife, Lexi. Please think of a date and we will talk about something for our engagement when I get home.”

Folded.

“I’m glad you liked it. I thought you hadn’t seen it.” I smile, thinking of him opening his gift, and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

“That is why I was trying to phone you, but I freaked when your phone was off. I am going to spoil you rotten when I get home. I have a few gifts for you as well, dolcezza.” His tone is more relaxed than it was, and he sounds mysterious now, to the point I find it exciting and uplifting.

“You already spoil me rotten.”

“Not enough. Thank you, Lexi, for the gift. I love your thoughtfulness. I am going to send Marco for you shortly. Can you put Jackson on the phone, baby? I need to speak to him.”

Oh God. My stomach is back flipping.

“Please don’t go all alpha male on me. You should be thanking him because he genuinely looked out for me and was a perfect gentleman.” Now my mood is shifting from excitable to nervous.

“Lexi, the fucker intimidates you.”

“No, he doesn’t, not anymore. It’s all an image the press has portrayed. He actually is an alright guy, and he said he wanted to help so Cameron wouldn’t get pissed at him for leaving me. I can see how they’re friends because he is really down to earth. He’s been extremely obliging by bringing me home. Please don’t give him a hard time. He’s done nothing wrong.”

He moans then hisses through his teeth and sighs, contemplating it. “Lexi, just put him on.”

“Please, Lucca, are you even listening to me? Promise me.” I sound like I’m pleading because he’s worrying me. It’s obvious he’s going to be rude, and I hate bad manners, even if he is protecting me and has my best interests at heart.

“Fine. I love you, and I will speak to you later.” There’s no mistaking he’s sharp and to the point. I don’t think he has any intention of being civilised.

Hobbling back into the kitchen, Jackson is leaning against the counter drinking a fruit juice, gauging me. Biting the inside of my cheek, I pass him the phone nervously.

“Lucca wants to speak to you.” My arm is stretched fully, and I keep my distance. It’s as if hearing Lucca’s voice he has me believing he’s watching me.

Using the pad of my thumb, I dab under my eyes wiping the last of my stray tears away. Jackson cocks his head, watching me while listening to Lucca. Aware he’s looking at me, I turn my back to him, lifting a hankie to blow my sniffling nose. I place it in the bin, wash my hands, then load the dishwasher with the plates, tossing my sandwich in the bin having lost all appetite which he notices also.

Listening to Jackson, he’s calm and collected and sounds understanding, but I can’t hear Lucca, so I’ve no idea what he’s saying. Jackson is telling him there’s no need to thank him, it was no problem, and that he would have done the same. I also hear Jackson reassure Lucca that I’m fine and not to worry. All the while, Jackson’s watching my every move.

When he hangs up, Jackson tells me Lucca thanked him and that he was grateful for his assistance today in his absence, so I relax my shoulders, forming an unwavering smile and I’m relieved.

“You still haven’t eaten anything,” he points out.

“No, I’m really not hungry anymore.”

“Have you been crying?” He places the phone down on the counter and tilts his head, studying me

“No.”

There is an unsettling tension in the atmosphere, a thick foggy air that surrounds us both.

“Alexis, I should go soon. Lucca did thank me, but he also gave me a strong warning to stay away from you when he’s not around, and I need to respect that.” He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. The change is night and day. One minute he wanted to run me to my appointment and now Lucca has warned him, he wants to rush off.

Hot and cold.

Lucca - Caveman!

Shaking my head with realisation I whisper, “I’m sorry, he’s a little protective.”

“No, don’t be sorry, I get it. If you were my girl, I’d do the same. And you’re not any ordinary girl, so it’s no wonder he feels as if he needs to protect you from douchebags. Guys like me.” He holds one hand on the nape of his neck in an exasperated sigh.

I sincerely hope Lucca never called him a douchebag or I’ll be even angrier.

I turn around, and he catches my sad expression. I sense he’s putting himself down because of the bad boy image portrayed, and I feel as if I need to remedy his doubts.

“Hey, you’re not a douche, you’re a great guy and misunderstood,” I reassure him.

His lip curls.

“Don’t be mad at him, he’s just looking out for you, he really loves you. He’s got absolutely nothing to worry about but I’ll respect his wishes. He seems like a great guy.”

He leans towards me, closing the space … his lips near mine … my pulse quickens, my heart pounds and I feel hot and flustered again. I can’t look in his eyes, knees trembling, body shaking in fear. Quickly, I tilt my head to the side dipping my chin. Just when I think he’s going to try and kiss me, he nudges his fingers lightly across my chin playfully.

Something Cameron would do.

“Look after yourself, Alexis, and that ankle and wrist and cuts and whatever else is going on because of your two left feet.”

I laugh.

“I’ll try, but I’m a calamity, so it’s going to be a challenge.”

He wipes a tear softly from my cheek. I know this is wrong, but I find comfort in it.

When I open my eyes, he’s gone and I furtively breathe as I hold onto the warmth of my cheek where his hand was.

Moments later, Omari politely kisses the same cheek as he prepares to leave.

“Omari, did Lucca give you a grilling?” I ask gingerly before he does go.

“Hell yes, but what did you expect? He was frantic. He wanted me to wait until after Jackson left to ensure he wasn’t left alone with you. It’s funny as it’s always been me he doesn’t trust. I suppose I’m the good guy now.” He smirks that devilish sexy grin.

Fuck!

File G for guilty. Guilty as sin.

“I suppose you are,” I reply, sounding lifeless with little enthusiasm in my voice giving Cameron the eyes.

Once they leave, I slump on the sofa in the living room, totally bewildered and feeling awful. Doris jumps up and snuggles in, burying her head into my neck sensing I’m upset. Cameron left with Omari to get ready for work. He said he’ll check in tomorrow, satisfied that Jess will be staying with me tonight.

I could curl up and sleep now, but I have obligations.

The colour Blue

Marco kindly waits outside the family planning clinic for me in Lucca’s black stretch limo. Of all the cars, he has to have me driven around like a blooming gala queen. I would have gotten here just fine in my little Ford Focus.

Ridiculous.

Going through all the contraception options, I make a last minute decision change. Initially I wanted Depo-Provera, but I can’t be bothered with going to the surgery every twelve weeks to get the injection, so I decide to go for Nexplanon, the contraceptive implant which will be inserted under the skin of my upper arm.

I won’t need to worry about the risks when accidentally missing my pill, and after we are married, when the time is right and I’m emotionally in a better place, I can have it removed anytime and fertility should resume.

Ideal!

The young, helpful doctor thoroughly goes over the pros and cons. She mentions the side effects, a few being sickness and feeling light-headed, but that doesn’t concern me. I’m used to feeling like that. The main benefit for me is that I’m covered and will not need to worry about it, and chances are my periods may become lighter or irregular or may disappear altogether.

She pulls up my medical records and goes over everything thoroughly, checks my blood pressure, height, and weight. When she asks me the date of my last period, she gives me a pregnancy test stick to just to be sure I’m not pregnant before carrying on with it.