Languish for you (My soulmate) (5 page)

Okay, I said in my mind. That I understood. Be good or else some kind of guy will be alone all his live...existence.

“Okay, what else?” Avery asked herself loudly.

“Maybe why I am alive,” this topic seemed really something. How could a dead person be alive again?

“Yea,” she said pensively. “I think you are dieing to find out why you are back. So, make yourself comfortable. The main reason why you are here, because your soulmate is alive and you were dead. We couldn't kill him, because you are special. I mean you have a talent in writing or something like that and you need to live and do your job. But you couldn't do it in your...life, because your mate... wasn't alive. So, the bodiless gave orders to kill you that you could meet your mate in other life. But, how we know now, something happened not according to the plan and your mate is...was without the mate. So, the bodiless decided to bring you back to life,” she said, avoiding meeting my eyes which were glued to her face.

“The bodiless?”

“They are those who make decisions, Triny,” Christopher said, controlling his voice.

“And why they brought me back to life?” I decided to ignore his strange behavior. “Why they just didn't kill my soulmate and give us a new life?” I wasn't stupid and they should understand that now before they could make bigger fools of themselves. Where was logic in her story? Kill someone, that he could meet a girl in other life. But when that girl wasn't in the next life, instead of killing the boy, the girl was brought back from death's land?

She whinnied, showing me that my question wasn't desirable at this moment. But still, I insisted to hear the answer to my question.

“Well?”

“I don't know,” she said honestly. I glanced at Christopher, who only mirrored his friend's gesture. “We have long lives, but they don't give us all facts and the bodiless don't like answering questions. They prefer that everyone do what they have told or else some painful consequences will wait for us.”

“I am the first person... to be...”

“No,” Christopher snapped. “You are not the first and maybe not the last one. But you are for sure the first person who remembers who you are. All that death's experience erases soul's memory and sometimes even talents. But you...”

“It's too much,” I said hugging myself. ”I want to be alone for some time. What you have told me...”

“Don't take too much time, Triny, because we don't have it. And staying in the corners with napkins won't work. We have a job to do and you have a new life to start.”

Yea, I said sarcastically in my mind. A new life with so many things in it which I could experience. But the problem was that I didn't want to live
that live
, so, why I should to
live this
one.

A few months before the last bell at school could ring, I was lost. Everything what I was doing seemed so pointless and empty. I just couldn't understand why I should want to change everything so quickly; studies, work, friendships, kids... I wanted to push a stop button and even hit another button and turn everything back only to give myself more time to find strength in me to move on. At that moment I just wanted to write, read and observe how stupidity ruled this world. I perfectly understood that an adult's life will take my pleasure for me; writing. I didn't want to give it.

At those days I even thought about sending myself to the dead land. It seemed so easily; drink some poison and let everything to vanish: problems, fears and so on. I even felt jealousy when I heard that someone died.

But lucky for me, someone did all that dirty job for me. So, why did I fe
lt so terrible now, hearing Aver
y telling me that I was murdered on purpose?

Because you had dreams
,
which were stolen by death. Because you know, how your family and friends cried the last tears seeing you in the coffin, I said to my mind.

I felt hot tears on my face, proving me that I had a heart in my chest and I was really sorry that I gave so much pain to someone I cared once.

I could even imagine in my mind my mother, standing... No. It wasn't a vision, it was a recollection. My mother was standing next to my bed. Her face was so sorrowful that I wanted to see something else and not her face, those red eyes with tears in them.

“Trinity,” she said, reaching to touch my hand, but her arm stopped in the middle. She wasn't sure if she should do that. But in the end, her fingers lay on my hand. She gasped when she felt my chilling skin. “Please, fight,” she didn't lose her hope, although everyone had done that and was starting to arrange my funeral

I pressed my eyes, like I had eaten a lemon. I wanted to exorcise that memory from my mind for good. Maybe it was a good thing that souls couldn't remember their lives.

Suddenly I felt exhausted and wanting only one thing – sleep. I put my head on the white pillow and let the dreams trap me in their world.

Chapter five

A mist was surrounding me, letting me feel like an animal in a cage. I looked around, trying to see through this mist, but I couldn't. It was so thick that I couldn't see what was on the ground two steps away.

“Hello!” I shouted. Only my voice's echo returned to me.

Fine, I am alone. Nothing new in that department, I said in my mind.

I took two careful steps forward.

“Love,” suddenly I heard a man's voice. I froze and tried to understand from which direction that voice came.

“Is someone here?” I asked, fear was growing in me, forcing my little heart to hammer.

“Come to me. I am languishing for you. Please, stop forcing me to feel that misery in my life,” he said to me, ignoring my question.

“Who is here?”

“Please, love. Come to me,” he sounded prostrate and sad. I felt guilty and gloomy.

“How?” I asked.

“Please,” I heard him before I felt someone snaking his arms around my waist. I screamed and tried to remove those two arms which lifted me up, pressing me closer to a warm and solid chest.

“You are safe. Nothing can hurt you,” Christopher said near to my ear in that calm and hypnotic voice.

My muscles relaxed and I took a deep breath, before I looked around the surroundings, trying to understand what had happened. One second I was in the mist, hearing a heart ripping voice which told me to find him, and the other - I was in Christopher's embrace, hearing his comforting words.

“It was just a dream,” he said in the end, putting a finger under my chin in order to lift my face up and meet my glass
y eyes. “Nothing will happen you
. You are safe.”

I nodded. A dream. Yea, it was just a dream, I said to myself. But it wasn't a scary dream. So, why was he telling me that I was safe. Did I scream?

He put a tiny smile on his face, which forced my heart to miss a beat.

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” he asked, suddenly all serious and ready to give me a pop quiz. He seemed so old now.

“Should I?” I hugged myself.

“You don't trust me or Avery. I understand that. It's hard for you. But believe me, it isn't easy for us, too. It's the first time when we have a soul like you,” he was explaining me, giving me an idea how stupid I was to act like this. “You need to hug the truth; you were dead and now you are alive with another opportunity. You can deny it as many times as you want,” he said harshly, forcing my eyes to become bigger on my face. What was his problem? One minute he was friendly and helpful, another - aloof and a pain in the ass. He was unstable, and that made him dangerous.

I tried to escape from his arms, which had imprisoned me. At first he tried to force me to be calm, but in the end he released me reluctantly. I retreated from him, searching something in the room which I could use if he decides to lose his mind completely.

“ Sorry,” he apologized me when he noticed terror in my two green eyes. He seemed guilty for giving me opportunity to feel fear. “I just don't have patience when it comes to girls. I would rather talk with boys. They realize the situation quicker,” he confessed.

It should have made me feel better, but it didn't.

“I am sorry,” he said one more time and left me alone in the room.

<<>>

Avery came into my room two hours later, bringing me some new clothes and food. She didn't say a word if she wasn't asked to answer something. Her behavior for some reason broke my heart. But maybe I deserved it?

“What will happen now?” I asked her as I took to a nice looking skirt into my hands.

Avery shrugged and turned her ice-cold eyes at me, which totally looked wrong on her face.

“We will live. Christopher will bring you your computer that you could start your writing. Then, when you will warm your feet and resign your mind about who you are, you will attend into university.”

“University?” I asked, putting the skirt down and taking pans.

“The English language and literature,” she stated.

I shivered.

“Yea, I was planning to take this studies after school,” I admitted grudgingly. “How did you know that?”

“You are a writer, Triny.”

I frowned. That wasn't a proper answer. Yea, I was a person who liked to write, but calling myself a writer when I hadn't even published any of my stories...was insane. I had always thought and I will think that the person could call himself a writer only when his books were touched with a lot of eyes.

“I must ask where we are?” I decided it will be only for the best if I change the topic. Those two hours
,
which I spent trying to fathom out
,
who I
was
, who they were and what I should do, wasn't enough for me to enter into the dark woods in which I could find unpleasant answers, facts.

“In
Germany
. Not far from Bon city,” a dry answer. Her voice reminded me of a robot's.

I pulled a face. In
Germany
. Great, I peeved. My aunt lived in
Germany
. I had a few opportunities to spend some months in her home, familiarizing with the culture, the people and the language. I liked
Germany
and its people. Maybe if I had been alive, I would have moved to live in
Germany
.

I put the pans down, back to the other nice clothes.

“Who are the bad guys who would like to kill me?”

Avery lifted her eyebrows up. My question was unanticipated.

“They don't kill,” she said slowly, carefully, like she wasn't sure if she should start this conversation.

“So, what the bad guys do?”

She gave me a dirty look. I was pushing her. What did they do so bad that she couldn't tell me?

“You have to understand one thing, you are not a protector and not a tutor. So, you don't need to know who the bad guys are, what they or we do, what kind of rules we must stick. So, don't ask me or Christopher about our job. The only thing, on which you should concentrate, is your life and writing. Are we clear with that?” her tone and eyes forced me to feel small and vulnerable.

I nodded unenthusiastically.

“Good. Come down after twenty minutes. We will eat together,” she informed me in formal tone. I moved my head up and down again. She took a deep breath and walked out from the room, giving me some privacy, space and time to ponder.

But I didn't use that time, space and privacy. I felt hungry. I wanted to have something in my stomach in order to calm that bug inside me. So, I quickly took a shower, put my new clothes on my body and got down.

I felt stronger today, although there were some moments when weakness reigned over my body. I hoped that soon I will be strong enough that I wouldn't need to use the wall as my support.

While I was slowly moving forward, I let my eyes wonder around. How I understood, this was a one huge ad modern flat. I could even bet that this flat had cost a fortune. So, I had a new fact about them; they were wealthy. My statement was only confirmed when I saw a huge dining room on which was lying a new laptop's box.

“It's for you,” Christopher said immediately before I could even open my mouth and ask.

He was sitting over the table, observing me. In front of him was sitting Avery. She, with bored look, stared at her empty plate. Next to her I noticed another empty plate. My plate.

“Mine?” I said unsure.

“You need to write, Trivy,” he smirked.

“Yea. We really want to read your new masterpieces,” Avery said exited. Her eyes were glowing from happiness.

“Masterpieces,” I repeated her word like echo in the woods. I was perplexed.

“Of course,” she rolled her eyes playfully and waved with her hand to the empty seat near to her.

I didn't know what to say, so I just did what she wanted from me; take my place over this table.

I really was bemused by their behavior. Were they doing that on purpose, trying to confuse me more than I was now? If so, I could say that they were doing a great job. I was so perplexed that I didn't know if anything could make sense anymore. My world was rocked so hardly by a new kind of earthquake which I didn't know could ever even exist and it really surpass the Richter scale.