“Wait,” I interrupte
d. “What’s wrong with Grandma?”
My heart was pounding as I thought of something being the matter
with her. I’d just gotten to know her and I couldn’t stand to think of her being sick.
“Relax,” she said calmly, taking my hand. “Your grandmother made me swear not to tell you, but she’s been diagnose
d with early onset Alzheimer’s.”
“What?” I gasped. “H
ow are you so calm about this?”
“Because I refuse to waste any more time than I already have. It could be a long tim
e till it gets serious and I just want to enjoy my mom for as long as I can. I’ll grieve when something bad happens, until then, it’s life as usual.”
I felt my eyes growing warm. I didn’t want to think of my grandma not being the grandma I knew and loved, but my mom was right. She still was the grandma I knew and loved and I would do my best to remember that.
“Then I’ll do the same,” I said, wiping my eyes.
“It’s going to be okay, Ry. She’s so happy that we’re here and I know that will help her stay healthy. She was over the moon when she found out you were coming back
, especially since you’ll be here for Christmas. She loves you, honey…so much, which is why she didn’t want you to know. I didn’t think it was fair keeping you in the dark, but she was adamant. Please don’t tell her you know.”
“I won’t, Mom. I pro
mise,” I said and I meant it.
“
So,” my mom continued. “To answer your question, that is why we came here.”
I recalled how upset I’d gotten when she told me we we
re moving and I asked her why.
She’d told me I wouldn’t understand n
o matter what she said. She had been right. Had she tried explaining it to me then, I probably would’ve gotten even angrier, but I got it now and I understood.
“I’m glad we came,” I said and I l
eaned in and hugged her again, before we both went downstairs. My grandma was sitting on the couch and she smiled when we walked into the room. I smiled back and then cuddled up next to her. She put her arm around me and I rested my head on her shoulder.
“I love you, Grandma,” I said to her and she squeezed me tightly. My mom had been right. This is where we needed to be.
Chapter Thirty-Six
When the old blue house came into view, I felt my heart beat quicken. I couldn’t wait to see Jesse. I’d texted him after lunch to see what his plans were for the day. He told me he was just going to be working on one of the four wheelers that had broken down. I was glad he would be home because there was so much I needed to tell him.
The tires of my Jetta rolled easily over the dirt and gravel and I stopped it in front of the shed where we’d hung out and played pool so many times. When I stepped out of my car, I shut the door quietly and took in a deep breath as my heart continued to pound in anticipation. Once inside the shed, a heard the sounds of country music flowing from the sound system. I didn’t know who was singing. I still hadn’t familiarized myself with country and western, but decided I’d probably need to if I was going to be sticking around Carver for a while.
I could faintly hear the sound of metal
pounding and I followed it. I felt a grin spread across my face and a wave of relief wash over me when I saw him. He was hunched over fiddling with the four wheeler and didn’t seem to notice me. I watched him for a second. He looked ruggedly handsome as he worked in a flannel shirt and torn jeans. His dark hair was tucked under a beat up old Royals hat and his face was curled up in frustration.
“Hey,” I finally said and his head jerked up. His face twisted in confusion as he was trying to process what he was seeing. He just stared at me for a few moments before finally straightening himself up and wiping his hands on his jeans.
“Riley,” he said, his voice almost at a whisper. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m home,” I said
, smiling widely at him.
“For real?” he asked
and when I nodded, he smiled. Before I knew it, he had crossed the room and enveloped me in a bear hug. I held onto him tightly and he seemed as if he would never let go.
“Your little rescue mission worked…a little delayed, but it worked,” I said as we held onto each other.
He squeezed me one more time and then finally let go, holding me at arm’s length.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he said
, looking me over as if checking to make sure I was real.
“Now you know how I felt when you showed up at my doorstep in Bo
ston,” I said and he grinned.
“When’d you get b
ack?”
“Yesterday.”
“I talked to you last night. You were still in Boston.”
“You
thought
I was in Boston,” I said as we both laughed and he led me into the game room. He turned down the volume on the sound system and we sat on the couch.
“So, why?
Why’d you come back?” he asked once we were settled.
“Because you were right about everything.
I never wanted to go back to Boston. I was just running away and after you left, I realized what a mistake it was,” I said and then smiled at him. “And I really missed you guys…especially you, Jesse,” I said softly and he looked away for a moment, staring off into the distance as if he were thinking. He brought his eyes back to mine a few moments later and a shy grin graced his face.
“I missed you too,” he said and then he took my hand. His hand was warm and surprisingly soft and
I liked how it felt. “I was afraid I’d never see you again.” He pulled me to him and I went willingly. He smelled so good and I never wanted to leave his embrace. It felt right and I wondered how I had ignored my feelings for so long. How could I have not seen in Jesse what had always been there? How could I want someone like Alex over someone like him? I’d felt it when he kissed me and when he’d brushed my hair out of my face that day we painted, but I’d forced myself to ignore it and push it away, when if I’d only listened to my instincts, I could’ve avoided all this heartache and who knows where I’d be instead of where I was now?
“Jesse,” I said as my heart began to pound so hard I thought it might fly out of
my chest. He was staring into my eyes with his smoky gray ones and I felt a ripple in my stomach. “It…it was so hard to watch you leave,” I stuttered. I didn’t know what I was trying to tell him, but I couldn’t stop talking. “And when you left, I just wanted to be with you again. I didn’t want to be apart from you and the thought of never seeing you again…” I said, shaking my head, not knowing how to explain the pain to him. I squeezed his hand harder and I could feel my face flushing.
“Wait, Riley. Don’t say another word,” he interrupted and I wanted to die of embarrassment. Here I was about to spill my guts to him and he didn’t want to hear
any of it. “Don’t say another word until you hear what I have to say.”
My heart started pounding even harder. I closed my eyes as I prepared to
listen.
“Do you remember that day at
Boston Common?” he began and I opened my eyes and nodded. “You demanded to know why I came and I gave you a reason, but it was a bullshit reason.”
“It didn’t sound like that
,” I interrupted.
“Well, it was. I went to Boston for one reason,” he said and I could see him swallow hard before continuing. “The real reason I went to Boston to see if you’d come back is,” he said pausing as he swallowed again and took in a deep breath. “The real reason I went to Boston is becau
se I had to tell you how I felt. I wanted to tell you how much I’ve wanted to be with you. I wanted to ask you to choose me. I wanted to tell you… I had to tell you… that I love you.”
I s
at frozen as I looked at Jesse, my friend, my best friend, and my heart jumped as I tried to register what Jesse had just said. I knew that’s how I felt, but I never expected him to reciprocate so easily, not after everything I’d put him through and not after everything that had happened with Alex.
“What?” I
managed to squeak out quietly.
He hesitated for a second and I wasn’t sure w
ho was more nervous, me or him.
“I said…I love you
.”
“Yeah, I heard that, but…I mean…
how? After everything that happened. After…after Alex,” I stumbled softly and he broke in.
“I don’
t care about any of that. I don’t care about Alex. All I know is that it sucked watching you with him. Everyday seeing you two together was torture, but you need to know I’ve felt this way from practically the first minute I saw you in Constitution on your first day. And then I got to know you and I fell in love with you, even if you didn’t love me. And when you left, I couldn’t just let you go and not tell you how I felt. I went to Boston to tell you, but I couldn’t do it. I realized I was being selfish and I couldn’t try to bring you back just so I could be happy. I couldn’t do that if it didn’t make you happy, but now that you’re here, I just…I had to tell you. And you can hate me and ignore me like you did when I kissed you, but I don’t care because you had to know.”
I took a deep breath in as I tried to think what I would say to him and then I opened my mouth and it just started coming out.
“You’ve been there for me since my first day in Carver and I’ve taken you for granted. I was so caught up with Alex and all that ridiculous stuff that I ignored everything you did for me. You’ve always been the one and deep down I knew it and I’m sorry it took me nearly losing you to realize it. When I left, I thought it was the answer to all my problems, but whenever I thought about you, it made me doubt my decision and having you here, right in front of me, I know I never should’ve left because I don’t want to be away from you.”
“And you know I don’t want to be away from you,” he said softly
. He was smiling uncertainly, like he didn’t believe what I was saying.
“Then let’s not be apart,” I whispered and he slowly reached up and brushed my hair back. As his fingers grazed over my neck, goosebumps followed and my entire body filled with warmth.
“Let’s not be apart,” he repeated softly in his low, husky voice and then we leaned in towards each other. He paused just inches from my lips. “I really do love you, Riley.”
“I know
. I love you too,” I said quietly and then I closed my eyes and our lips met. He gently wrapped his arms around me and he kissed me until I thought my head was spinning.
“Are you okay?” he whispered breathlessly when we’d
finally pulled away from each other.
I nodded, but I fe
lt myself becoming teary again.
“Then why are you about to cry?” he asked
, gently caressing my cheek.
“I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of?”
“I’m scared of this feeling,” I said as I thought to myself how Alex had said he loved me too. I couldn’t believe I was comparing the two. They were nothing alike and I knew that, but part of me, the part Alex had stolen from me, was doubtful of ever tr
usting again. I couldn’t tell Jesse what I was thinking, but I didn’t need to. He already knew.
“I’m not Alex,” he said, tilting my chin up until our eyes met. He was looking at me seriously and he never wavered. “I promise you, I will
never
treat you the way he treated you,” he said firmly. “I swear that to you, Riley. I will
never
hurt you the way he hurt you.” He reached up and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I’m not saying I’m perfect or that we’re perfect or that this will even work, but I know how I feel about you and I want to make you happy as long as you’ll let me.”
I looked up into those gray eyes and I knew he meant every word. I knew he would never hurt me like Alex because he was so different than Alex. He’d loved me even when I was giving him nothing in r
eturn.
I carefully took his hand and linked my fingers with his. We both stared down as if they’d been made for each other, like two pieces of a puzzle. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the top of it sweetly. Then he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his warm chest.
We leaned into the back of the couch and I rested my head on his chest. He reached up and stroked my hair and I could hear his heart beating and then he breathed in deeply.
“You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hold you like this,” he whispered softly into my ear.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” I whispered back and then he kissed the top of my head. We sat silently just listening to the sounds of each other and the soft country song playing in the background. It was a song I didn’t know, but I knew it was one I’d never forget.
Chapter
Thirty-Seven
Jesse and I pulled
into the parking lot of Carver High. He’d come over and picked me up in his rumbling Wagoneer for my first day back.
Because that’s what boyfriends do
, I thought to myself with a smile. We hadn’t made anything official, but it really didn’t need to be said. It was just implied.
He pulled into a stall and turned off the engine. The silence was almost deafening after listening to the roar of the Jeep for the past fifteen minutes and when we stopped, I found myself staring at the old brick building with a mix of terror and excitement. I took in a deep breath
trying to calm my nerves. I felt Jesse’s calming touch on my leg and I looked over to him. His brow was furrowed in concern, but he was also smiling supportively.
“Are you
gonna be okay?” he asked.
I mulled the question over and over in my head. Would I be okay? Today was not going to be easy. Facing Alex and Adrienne was not going to be easy. Hearing the venomous words I was certain awaited me was not going to be easy, but the answer to his question was, of course, I would be okay. I might not be totally okay right now and I might not totally be okay in a month or even a year, but I would be okay eventually and everyday it would get better. It was already getting better. My mom and I were okay. My dad and I were okay. Heck, even Robin and I were okay. And best of all, Jesse was beside me and he’d already shown me a million times over what lengths he would go to make sure I was okay.
“Yes. I think I’ll be okay,” I said nervously, trying to muster up all my inner strength to get through the day.
“Everything will be fine,” he said reassuringly and I wanted so badly to believe him because I knew he was right. Then he gently touched my chin and turned my face towards his. I closed my eyes and our lips met and for that moment everything was alright.
We pulled back slowly and I found myself breathless again, but not from nerves this time.
After regaining my composure, I scooped up my backpack and got out. I met Jesse in front of the Jeep and then my eyes focused on a small group that was heading our way. Even from the distance, they were unmistakable. Mandy’s curly hair bobbed as she walked from the usual giddiness in her step. Laura seemed as serious and business like as usual, but she was smiling at us. Brandon strode next to them, cocky as always with a mischievous look on his face, as if he were planning the next way he would annoy the girls. And then there was Holly. She ran her hands through her light brown bob, pushing the wispy bangs out of her eyes, revealing the same face I’d encountered on my first day. Hers had been the first friendly face I’d met and it only seemed appropriate that she would be here with me today as I started over.
“Riley!” Mandy’s voice exploded as they
drew closer and she ran over mobbing me in a giant hug.
“Hey,” I said as she squeezed.
“I thought you’d totally left forever.”
“Well, I’m back,” I said and I looked knowingly over to Jesse.
“I can’t believe he actually convinced you
to come back,” Laura chimed in.
“
It may have taken a while, but he was pretty hard to resist.”
Jesse and I smiled at each other and then I noticed they were all staring at us curiously as if they were trying to figure out a mystery and then Brandon started laughing.
“So
that’s
why you came back,” he grinned.
Jesse and I smiled
at each other and I felt myself blush as it clicked with our friends that things were different with us now. Jesse and I weren’t just friends anymore. We were more than that and always had been, it’d just taken us...well me, a little while to figure that out.
“Well, it’s not the only reason,” I said
, shrugging my shoulders innocently. “But, it made my decision a little easier.”
“What?
You and Jesse?” Mandy seemed to shriek as the light bulb finally went off in her head. She was so dense it was comical.
“Seriously
, Mandy? You’re surprised?” Laura asked in her usual voice when dealing with Mandy, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Well,
kinda. I guess,” she said, seeming confused on whether she should actually be surprised or not. No one else seemed to be, but Mandy, as much as I loved her, was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
“I say it’s about time,” Holly piped in. “I was wondering when you’d wake up
, Riley. Jesse has only been in love with you since your first day here.”
My gaze turned to him and he was smiling shyly, but then he shrugged his shoulders as if to say
, “
Guilty,”
and I reached over and took his hand in mine, in our first open display of affection. I thought it would be awkward in front of our friends, but it didn’t feel that way at all. It seemed natural and they seemed to all feel that way too.
“This is how it should be, not the
way it was,” Holly added and smiled warmly at us.
“And to think you almost missed that train
, Riley,” Brandon laughed and then I gently squeezed Jesse’s hand before he put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.
I looked at my friends and knew at that moment I had definitely made the right choice in coming back. It didn’t matter that out of the corner of my eye I could see the familiar black Altima. That part of my life was over and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little nervous about what would happen when I s
aw Alex for the first time. I knew I didn’t care what he said to me though because I had so much more in my life…my family, my friends and Jesse and that was all that mattered.
The parking lot
started to fill. I’d been so focused on reuniting with my friends, I’d hardly noticed. But as engines turned off and doors slammed, I looked around and I did see a few heads turn and look at our group. I didn’t blame them though. The last time they’d seen me, I’d been running from a hallway brawl after being humiliated by one of the most popular guys in school. I wondered for a second what they were thinking, but then I pushed that from my mind. It didn’t matter what they were thinking.
The onlo
okers turned away quickly. I was obviously not as interesting to them as I thought I was. I was not the center of the universe as I’d once considered myself to be.
“Well,
no matter the reason, it’s good to have you home,” Brandon said, interrupting my reverie. When I looked up at him, I realized it was probably the most genuine I’d ever seen him. He wasn’t being goofy or sarcastic or stupid. He really meant it.
“Thanks
, Brandon,” I said and he smiled at me.
Then I noticed
Mandy looking at me nervously.
“Are you going to be okay
, Riley? I mean, with everything that happened and all, you’ve gotta be…”
Laura elbowed her and rolled her eyes, but it did the trick and Mandy shut up.
“I’ll be fine,” I said with certainty and Jesse gave my shoulder a supportive squeeze.
“You
wanna head inside then?” Holly asked and I nodded, taking my first step towards the school.
“You know Mr. B
arry’s dying to see you. I think he was heartbroken at your sudden departure,” Jesse laughed as we walked.
“Maybe he’ll give me extra credit if I
tell him all about the Freedom Trail. Perhaps we could do another killer presentation,” I joked and Jesse hugged me again.
The brick building
drew closer and I felt my heartbeat quicken, but then Jesse reached down and took my hand and I felt myself calm. A moment later we were standing in front of the old maroon doors, which for some reason didn’t look so old anymore. He squeezed my hand and then reached down and opened the door. I took a deep breath and walked inside.
Read the next chapter of Riley and Jesse’s story in the sequel,
Far From Home: Book Two of the Home Series
, available now on Amazon. The first chapter is included on the following pages after a note from the author.