“I know you love Boston and I know why you’d want to stay, I mean, especially after everything that happened, but isn’t there anything that would make you come back?”
I looked away and I felt my eyes grow warm. I didn’t want to cry. We’d had such a great day. I didn’t want to ruin it now.
“I’m sorry. I
didn’t mean to upset you,” Jesse said as he handed me a napkin and I wiped away the tear that had escaped. I dabbed at my eyes to keep the others from falling too.
“It’s okay.
I’ve just been emotional lately.”
“I know, but I want to make sure you m
ake the right decision for you, Riley. If you tell me right now that you want to stay here, I’ll never ask you about it again. But, if there’s a chance you might want to come back, I want to make sure you don’t give up that chance.”
As I looked at Jesse, I almost wished he hadn’t come. As much fun as I was having with him, seeing him made part of me want to go back to Kansas and I could absolutely not go back there.
“Jesse, you know I can’t go back and you know why I can’t go back.”
I heard him sigh and he looked at the ground.
“I hate him,” he mumbled so quietly I could barely hear him.
“What?”
“I hate him,” he said forcefully, looking up at me.
“Who?”
“Alex. I hate him.”
“That makes
two of us,” I said with a light laugh.
“This isn’t funny
, Riley,” he said sternly and my smile faded. “None of this is funny. I never liked the guy, but now I really hate him and not just because of what he did to you, but because of what he’s turned you into.”
“And what has he turned me into?” I asked as my face curled up in offense.
“You’re like this shell of your former self.”
“
No, I’m not. I’m still me.”
“B
ut you’re different now. You’re afraid.”
“No, I’m not,” I said defensively.
“Yes, you are and I hate that he’s done that to you. The Riley I first met would’ve never left. You were feisty, but strong when you first got to Kansas. That Riley would’ve never let him win because you’re better than that. This whole situation is ridiculous actually.”
I didn’t know what to say. My eyes started brimming with tears again and I hated hearing what Jesse was saying to me.
“You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel badly,” he said gently, reaching over and touching my arm.
“Well, you are,” I snapped, jerking my arm away from him. “Now according to you, I’m being ridiculous.”
“
You’re not being ridiculous. This situation is ridiculous. The fact I’m here trying to get you to come back when you’re obviously adamant about running from your problems rather than facing them and telling Alex to go to hell by showing up and living your life, is ridiculous. I’m not trying to make you feel badly, but I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore. I’ve tried being gentle, now I need to be honest and try and knock some sense into you,” he said and when I looked over, I knew he wasn’t being malicious, but it still didn’t numb the sting of his words.
“
This has been the worst week of my life and you might not get it or understand how I can be so upset about it or how I’d want to get away from it, but I do and I’m sorry if you can’t understand,” I said and then looked up at him again. “Why’d you even come here anyway if you just wanted to point out how stupid and weak I am?”
“You are the furthest thing from stupid or weak and I’m sorry if you misinterpreted what I said because that’s not what I meant
. Until recently, you were one of the most independent girls I’d ever met, but that’s all gone because of Alex and I know you’re better than him,” he said sternly.
“
Again, thank you for pointing out how weak I am.”
Jesse sighed and looked away for a moment. He closed his eyes, obviously thinking. He opened them a moment later and then turned back to meet my eyes.
“I
wish you could see yourself the way I do. Then you’d realize why it pisses me off so much to see you like this,” he sighed, before adding. “I just wish you’d come home.”
For whatever reason Jesse thought I was special. I didn’t understand why, but he did. He’d come all the way to Boston to
try and bring me home. What he didn’t understand was that Carver was not my home. I was already home.
“Please
, Jesse. Please don’t do this anymore. I am home,” I said through the lump in my throat. “Now just let us enjoy the rest of the day. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, but this is what I want. I want to stay here. You may think it’s the coward’s way out, but it’s what I want.”
Everyone else in the park seemed to disappear. The silence was deafening and as the lines on Jesse’s face softened, I knew he’d given up.
“Okay,” he said softly. “I had to at least try. I’ll call the airline and book a ticket home for tomorrow.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
I made sure we were back at my dad’s house by six o’clock. I didn’t want to miss the big dinner he was preparing. Jesse didn’t say another word about me returning with him to Kansas and I was glad because I just wanted to enjoy the last night I’d probably ever have with my best friend.
“So, you’ve never ha
d a gyro then?” my dad asked Jesse once we were all seated at the dinner table.
“No, sir.
I can’t say I have.” Jesse grinned and took a bite.
We all stared
at him, waiting for his reaction. He looked up and smiled and wiped his mouth with a napkin.
“Well?” I asked him.
“It’s good.
Very
good,” he said, taking another bite and then we all began eating our own gyros and salads. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed my dad’s cooking until the pieces of spiced lamb were dancing in my mouth.
I was clearing away the dinner dishes in preparation for the baklava when the doorbell rang. Robin got up to answer it and then I heard the familiar voices of Natasha and Courtney babbling in the entryway.
Their voices got louder as they drew closer to the dining room and then they walked in and looked around. Their voices stopped when they saw Jesse. They both started smiling and then they looked over at me.
“Hey
, Riley,” Natasha said mischievously.
“Sorry to just barge in,” Courtney said and they both sat down before waiting for an invitation.
“You’re just in time for some baklava. Do you girls want some?” my dad asked, standing up.
“Yeah, thanks Mr.
Regas,” Natasha replied and Courtney nodded and then my dad and Robin disappeared into the kitchen to get the dessert.
“We just finished with volleyball practice and thought we’d come by and see what’s going on,” Natasha said and then her eyes darted over to Jesse. “Aren’t you going to introduce us
, Riley?”
“Um
, yeah,” I said hesitantly. “Guys, this is Jesse, my friend from Kansas. Jesse, this is Natasha and Courtney.”
“Hey,” he said
, raising a shy hand to them.
“Hey,” they both replied
and then Courtney turned to me.
“You didn’t tell
us Jesse was coming.”
“Well,
” I began and Jesse cut me off.
“I
kinda surprised her. She didn’t know I was coming.”
“Really?”
Natasha said, her voice going up an octave higher.
“Yeah.
I had this crazy idea that I’d try and get her to come back to Kansas,” he laughed.
“Well,
did you succeed?” Natasha asked.
“Nah, I don’t think I did,” he said
, looking over to me and his eyes seemed to be searching mine for any change in my decision.
My dad and Robin came back in just then and set the baklava on the table. We all began digging in a few moments later and I could tell Jesse liked the dessert as much he’d enjoyed the gyro. Natasha and Courtney were watching him like he was a curiosity in
a Coney Island side show. When we were finished, Robin stood up and started clearing the plates.
“Let me help,” Jesse said
, getting up and gathering plates too. My dad followed them into the kitchen and the second we were alone, both Natasha and Courtney’s eyes beamed over to me.
“Okay, what the heck it going on?”
Natasha whispered excitedly once no one else was around.
“Yeah!
That guy comes all the way here from Kansas to get you, and he’s totally hot, by the way,” Courtney gushed, reminding me again of Mandy when she would get all giddy over Alex.
“He just came to make sure I was okay,” I sa
id softly so no one would hear.
“He came all this way just to make sure you were okay?” Natasha said doubtfully and I nodded. “I may not be the brightest bulb in the box
, Riley,” she continued. “But I do know guys don’t travel 1,600 miles just to make sure a girl’s okay.”
“I told you guys he’s a go
od friend,” I said defensively.
“Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England,” Natasha
shot back sarcastically.
“
Your Highness,” I said in a terrible British accent as I bowed in her direction. Natasha just rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed with me.
“So, if you guys are just friends
, as you insist, you won’t mind if I move in and try and convince him to stay in Boston? We could use his kind of urban chic around here. This place needs a little variety,” Natasha grinned.
“He would
never
stay here,” I said quickly and I found myself cringing at the thought of Natasha and Jesse together.
“You’re awfully sure of that,” she continued and Courtney was giggling now. “Maybe he just needs a little convincing.”
“Please,” I said, glaring at her. “He’s leaving tomorrow so he won’t need any convincing. Now why don’t you guys go home? I’ll call you when he leaves and I’ll see you at school on Thursday.”
“You’re ki
cking us out?” Natasha laughed.
“Yes
, I am,” I said with a smile.
“Why do we h
ave to leave?” Courtney gasped.
“Because you guys won’t leave me alone and you won’t stop staring at him, that’s why!” I exclaimed in a whisper.
“Well, he’s cute,” Courtney said.
“Yeah, and I like the way he talks. His accent is
kinda sexy,” Natasha giggled and I just sighed in frustration.
“If you need another reason, here’s two more. You guys are complete dorks and you’re annoying me with all your stupid talk.”
They both stared at me, trying to look offended, but then we heard Jesse walking back in. We were all quiet and he seemed uneasy.
“Well, we were just leaving,” Natasha said as she grinned over at me and she and Courtney stood up.
“So soon?” I asked sweetly, giving them a coy smile and they just glared at me.
“Yeah, we’ve got some
homework to do,” Courtney said.
“Yeah, homework,” Natasha agreed. “It was nice to meet you
, Jesse.”
“
Likewise,” he said smiling at them.
“Thanks for the baklava
, Mr. Regas!” Natasha called out.
“Y
eah, thanks!” Courtney shouted.
“No problem
, girls,” his voice rang from the kitchen.
They turned towards the front door
and Jesse and I were quiet until we heard the click of the doorknob behind them.
“Your friends
didn’t have to leave.”
“Um, yeah they did,” I laughed. “You didn’t notice
how they were staring at you?”
“Well, I
kinda noticed.”
“Yeah.
That’s why they had to leave. They would’ve grilled you all night about living in the sticks and talking funny,” I said in my best Kansas accent.
“
They would’ve fit right in with you. That’s all you’ve done since you met me,” he laughed.
“C’mon. How many times do I have to apologize before you finally stop
hassling me about being a snob?”
“It’s just so fun to get a rise out of you,” he grinned over at me before adding. “
Did you tell them not worry? That I wasn’t able to talk you into coming back to Carver?” he asked as we walked into the living room to watch some TV.
“They didn’t ask. They were more interested in you,” I told him and his cheeks blushed slightly.
We sat down on the couch and I turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels.
“I’m glad you cam
e here,” I said, turning away from the TV.
“You can’t blame a guy for trying,” he said
, shrugging his shoulders.
I just smiled, but I couldn’t tell him how hard it was going to be for me to stay.