Authors: Heidi Hutchinson
“
Anyways,
I told Federa I wasn’t going but you might be up for it.”
Duke directed back to Lenny. He knew she didn't have any plans, her
future was wide open if she wanted it. All she had set out to do was
die in her room under a pile of blankets and cookie crumbs.
“
Yeah,
I’ll go.” She sat up straight. “When do I have to
get out of here?”
Duke was a little
shocked by her abrupt agreement. Maybe he shouldn’t have been.
She did have a history of running away when things got tough. Was
this another example of that? No, she told Luke goodbye, she didn’t
just disappear. He knew where she was going and he hadn’t
called or tried to get a hold of her at all. Going to Alaska on a
whim is exactly what the old Lenny would have done.
“
You’d
have to fly out tonight.” Duke challenged her.
“
Dang,
I don’t even have time to pack.” Lenny showed a small
lopsided smile that gave Duke hope. She wasn’t gone, she was
just hurt.
“
You
don’t have to impress those idiots, you know.” Duke
lightly scolded.
“
I
know.” Lenny stood up, “I’m gonna call the airline
and see if I can even get a ticket.”
After Lenny had left
the room, Duke moved over to sit next to Natalie on the couch.
“
You
really think it’s a good idea for her to do this?” He
asked her softly. Tyler had fallen fast asleep on the floor.
“
I
do,” Natalie nodded. “Sometimes you have to run away to
see is someone if going to chase you.” Her dark eyes shined in
the firelight and Duke found himself leaning in to kiss her.
He paused,
considering what this next step would mean. He studied her delicate
features and soft lips, savoring the closeness that they were sharing
at that moment.
“
I’d
chase you anywhere.” He whispered and then he pressed his lips
to hers. This was it, he decided, no more screwing around. This was
the ride he'd been waiting on for some time now.
Luke had gotten as
far as Ohio before his truck got a flat tire. It wasn’t a big
deal, he changed it and continued on. Another hundred miles and
something under the hood started to smoke. He was basically in the
middle of nowhere and it was cold.
He slammed his hand
against the steering wheel and yelled. He had left town in such a
way that he didn’t have a car charger for his phone and the
battery had died the day before. He hadn’t thought, he simply
headed west.
Luke flipped his
hazards on and popped the hood. He stepped out into the bitter wind
of the Ohio interstate and tried to figure out what was wrong this
time. He’d worked on this truck for years. It had been passed
down to him from his grandfather and was one of the only possessions
he'd inherited when everyone started dying off. Luke had babied it
and had kept it running like a top. But like everything else in this
world, it could and would fail on occasion.
Maybe
it was a sign. Nothing about this trip had been going right. If
Lenny wanted to be with him she would’ve stayed, right?
Obviously she had gotten whatever she had needed from her stint as a
roadie and was ready to return to her real life.
I
was just collateral damage,
he
thought cynically.
He slammed the hood
down on the truck and cranked the motor. It fired right up and Luke
yanked the wheel back onto the road. He saw the next exit fast
approaching and he took it. Why should he have to drive clear across
hell and gone for her? If she wanted to talk to him, she knew where
to find him.
He pointed the truck
east and slammed on the gas. Luke was tired. He was tired from the
drive, he was tired of the games, he was just too damn tired of
everything. The guys would have to get over it. Just like he would
have to get over it.
***
Lenny hadn’t
been able to get a flight that day but she called Federa and said she
would only be a couple of days late. He agreed to pick her up at the
airport in Anchorage so she wouldn’t have to drive to the
interior alone.
That gave Lenny an
extra day to wash her clothes and pack. It was nice to have
something to do keep her mind off of Luke. She tried to stay as busy
as possible, even making a few runs with Duke and Tyler.
Natalie and Tyler
hung around pretty consistently and Lenny could see the bond between
them and Duke growing. Whatever feelings of jealousy she had
experienced initially had completely disappeared. Duke was a good
man and he deserved a good woman. It warmed Lenny’s heart to
know that he wasn’t going to be alone anymore.
She shoved the last
of her socks in the suitcase and paused, Luke’s t-shirt was
neatly folded on the edge of her bed. She bit the inside of her
cheek as she considered taking it with her. No one would know who it
belonged to, only her. She grabbed it and shoved it under her socks
and zipped the suitcase shut. She couldn’t have Luke with her,
she should at least be able to take a piece of him. Especially since
it felt like he had retained rights to a fairly large chunk of her
heart.
She checked her
phone again. It was becoming compulsive. Still no calls or texts.
She sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the screen. Her
heart started to beat crazy hard as she typed out Harrison as a
recipient. What could it hurt to say, “hey”?
Lenny
:
Miss
you guys, how is everything?
She pressed send and
set the phone down, hands shaking. Was it too much? Should she cut
all ties? What if he didn’t respond?
Lenny
stood up, frustrated with herself for being so weak.
She’s
the one who decided to end it. This wasn’t their fault. The
blame landed entirely on her.
Her stomach clenched
when her phone chirped softly. She grabbed at it, eager to read the
reply.
Harrison:
Miss
you too. Luke is a douche bag. We want to come and see you.
Lenny smiled. Leave
it to Harrison to spill the opinion of the group. She impulsively
called him, texting would no longer suffice.
“
Hello?”
Harrison asked cautiously.
“
Hey,
it’s me,” Lenny greeted quietly.
Harrison sighed
audibly, “Did you get my reply?”
“
Yeah,
but I wanted to call.” Lenny tapped her her knee with her
forefinger.
“
I’m
glad you called. I’ve missed your voice. Blake and Mike aren’t
as nice to me as you.”
“
They
love you.” Lenny admonished with a smile.
“
I
know…But seriously, we were thinking about coming to see you.”
“
Well…”
Lenny looked over at her suitcases. “I’m actually leaving
in the morning…for Alaska.”
The phone was quiet
as Harrison processed the information.
“
How
long will you be in Alaska?”
“
Probably
two weeks. It’s a trip for some pro’s and old timers.
Just for fun. We live in these cabins with no plumbing and spend all
day riding these crazy huge lines. It’s pretty awesome.”
“
That
sounds cool…How about when you get back?”
Lenny paused. She
missed them. A lot. But wouldn’t that be like joint custody in
a separation? That wasn’t fair to Luke, they were his friends
first. What was she even doing calling Harrison, she had no right.
She was being completely selfish.
“
Maybe.”
Was all Lenny would commit to. She didn’t want to make it
harder for her to get over Luke and she didn’t want his friends
to feel like they had to choose between them.
“
Is
it okay if we call you and stuff?” Harrison sounded hesitant.
“
Of
course, you guys can always call me…I might not have great
reception in AK but you can leave me messages.” She tried to
laugh and ease his mind.
“
Has
Luke called you?” Harrison's voice was guarded.
Lenny swallowed
hard, “No.”
The line was quiet
for a long time, neither of them really knowing what to say.
“
It’s
okay, Harry. It has to be like this,” Lenny said gently.
“
I
disagree.” Harrison was more serious than Lenny had ever
remembered hearing him.
“
You’ll
see…we’ll stay friends and Luke will move on…One
of us had to be the grown up...” Lenny tried to pour comfort
and belief into her tone even though she didn't feel it.
“
We're
gonna come and see you when you get back. You’re part of us
now, Lenny. It’s not the same without you around.”
“
I
appreciate that.” Lenny smiled into the phone. She meant it.
But she knew that given enough time, they would move on too.
They would all move
on.
***
Duke and Lenny had
ridden to the airport in the Bronco quietly and he helped her get her
luggage and equipment checked in. She turned to face him, all she
had to do was head through security, so this would be goodbye. Duke
motioned to a bench off to the side.
They sat down next
to each other and Duke could see the emotion building on her face.
She swallowed hard, pushing back the tears that were already turning
her eyes red. Duke took one of her hands and held it both of his
own. Goodbyes were never easy but this one seemed more...final than
ever before.
“
I’m
sorry he let you go,” he said quietly.
Lenny looked away.
“I can’t do this here, Duke,” she whispered.
“
He’s
a fool, Lenny,” Duke continued anyway. He didn't know when
he'd see her again and she needed to know these things. “You’re
going to find someone who makes you as happy as you deserve someday.”
“
Huh,”
Lenny laughed sardonically. “You were my backup plan. I
thought I'd come home and make a go of it with you but you had to go
off and get a girlfriend.”
Duke shook his head
at her flippancy. He knew she was half-serious. She was heartbroken
enough that she would have sought solace in his arms and he wouldn't
have been able to say no. But it wouldn't have been real and it
would have ruined both of them. Having Natalie cleared up a lot of
his confusion in regards to his feelings for Lenny.
“
It
would have never lasted,” he said with a tender smile.
“
That’s
not true.” Lenny put on a brave face even as large tears fell
on both cheeks. “I could’ve been happy with you. I
could have cooked and cleaned for you and had your babies.”
Her voice broke and shuddered as she tried to continue, “When I
look at you...I see so much of what I want...”
Duke smiled and held
her cheek with his palm. “You would never have done that.”
He touched her tears with his thumb. “You’re too good of
a person to live a lie.”
Her body crumpled
against him and she sobbed into his coat, “I know, I would
never be able to love you like you deserve.”
Duke's heart broke
for her. How could he comfort her properly? What could he say to
let her know that she was strong enough? That she would heal in time
and she didn't need him in order find that out?
“
It’s
time to be grownups, remember?” Duke gently reminded her. “We
can’t keep playing house our whole lives.”
“
You’re
my best friend.” Lenny said through her tears.
“
And
you’re mine,” Duke's chest burned with restrained
emotion.
“
But
everything’s gonna be different now,” she whispered.