Learning to Live (21 page)

I pass Ashton’s table on the way to the ladies’ room, and I feel her
stare on my back. As soon as I enter the restroom, I exhale and thank
the stars above that I made it without interference. I know I need to
pass her again, but I’ll cross that bridge in a minute.
After I’m finished I stand at the sink smiling to myself while I
reapply my lip gloss. I hear the door open and the noise outside gets
louder before it closes again. I’m not paying much attention because I
keep thinking of how awesome tonight has been when I hear her.
“Aww. Look how cute the trash looks when it’s cleaned up,”
Ashton says as she walks to the sink beside me and just flips her long,
black hair like she didn’t just insult me. I look at her and see how
perfect she looks on the outside with her deep tan, high cheekbones,
and blue eyes that pop with her dark lashes. Her yellow dress is
flawless, and the blue belt matches her eyes while the fit of the dress
hugs her perfectly and the scoop neck shows off just the right amount
of cleavage. Her jewelry catches the light and screams its worth. I try
not to be self-conscious around her as she flashes herself in front of
me. Knowing that she’s had Jax doesn’t help.
I take a deep breath to shake off her insult. I know I’m not from a
privileged life like she and Jax, but I also know she’s just trying to piss
me off and it’s starting to work. I don’t want trouble, so I grab my lip
gloss and place it back inside the black clutch Jazz let me use before I
turn to walk out.
That seems to piss her off more because she grabs my arm and her
perfectly French tipped claws start cutting into my bicep. “You know
you will never be good enough for him.” Her voice is full of venom as
she stares at me with so much hate it reminds me of Brad. I see her jaw
clench as she grinds her teeth together and her beauty of only seconds
ago turns to ugliness.
“Well that may be true, but neither are you.” I yank my arm away
and already feel the sting from the marks she left behind. I walk
through the door and her words start to get to me. I know I’ll never be
good enough for Jax and to be reminded of that out loud cuts deep.
However, I refuse to cry tonight.
Before I leave the hallway that holds, she follows me out and
screams something that has me stopping.
“How can you think he actually wants you? Huh? Nobody has
ever wanted you for anything besides an easy fuck or money.” She’s
smiling like the cat that ate the cream. When I turn around she
continues while walking up to me. “Your parents didn’t want you, and
the foster parents who took you in couldn’t stand you so they got rid of
you.” She takes a step forward, and I feel a tear run down my face.
I’ve always thought that over the years but hearing them...from
her
...causes my heart to break.
“Do you want to know how I know you’re such a waste of
space?” She pauses right in front of me and leans over to whisper
menacingly, “Because your own son chose to die rather than to be
stuck with you as a mother.”
They air leaves my lungs and everything happens in slow motion.
I just lose it and attack her, putting all the anger and hurt that was
thrown at me in every punch. Arms try and haul me off her, but I break
away because she has my hair in one hand while her other hand slaps
at me like I’m a fly.
What a bitch move
. I draw my fist back, wanting
to knock the shit out of her. I can feel and hear a crunch when I make
contact and see blood start to rush down her face while she lies on the
floor and screeches to no one in particular. Once again, I’m being
hauled out of the hallway. I see the older couple that was here with that
bitch
and notice their table is knocked over. The guy is on his ass, but
I’m too distracted to care why.
As soon as I’m out the door, Jax is there and rushes to my side.
“Shit, baby, are you okay?” He hugs me as I catch my breath.
I’m still shaking because I am so pissed, but I want to know how
she knows about my life. I was going to ask her, but then she said that
about Brian and I just lost it.
I look down after he holds me back to look at me. “Oh God! Jazz
is going to kill me.” Her dress is ruined and I want to start crying. I
hate that it seems like it’s all I do anymore.
Jax just picks me up and carries me to his Jeep. After he gets in
and pulls away from the restaurant, I look his way, scared I’m going to
see disappointment in his eyes for getting us kicked out. The last thing
I want to do it disappoint him. Then I notice his shirt is pulled out and
his hair is in disarray and my own concern vanishes. “Are you okay?”
He seems just as upset as me and is still breathing hard.
“Yeah, I’m fine, but how are you? You have blood all over your
dress. Do I need to take you to the hospital?” He looks so worried I
start to calm down because he’s not angry or disappointed.
“It’s not mine,” I state. When he looks at me expectantly, I clarify
with a mischievous grin because I feel damn good about giving that
bitch what she had coming to her. “I broke Ashton’s perfect nose, and
she bled everywhere.” I think back to her holding her nose and start
laughing.
Jax starts laughing too, and I think it’s for the same reason as me,
but then he says, “Well, I busted her dad’s lip, and hopefully I broke
his tailbone too.”
I remember Amanda and some woman around the guy on the floor
and look at Jax. “You knocked over the table?” He nods. “Why?”
He instantly sobers and gets a feral look in his eye, but I’m not
scared. “Because he’s a dick. I’ve never cared for him, and I finally
had the chance to let him have it.” He shrugs and I have a feeling there
is more to the story. “So what caused Ashton to sign up for
rhinoplasty?” he asks and smiles again.
I take a deep breath and tell him what she said about Brian, but
leave the other part out. I have to deal with my insecurities about this
relationship alone. When I finish I can tell he’s upset once more. “I’m
sorry, Tru. You know that she’s just trying to get to you and it’s not
true, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I was the one who watched him fight to breathe, so
I know he wanted to live,” I say quietly, remembering how hard he
struggled to hold on but just couldn’t and eventually took his last
breath in my arms. I start tearing up again and look at Jax. “How did
she find out, Jax? I don’t understand.”
He pulls over on the side of the road and unbuckles my seat belt.
I’m surprised especially when he lifts me and sits me on his lap to hold
me against him. His warm breath is against my neck when he softly
says, “Money can buy you a lot of things. I’m sure she has her bigtime lawyer Daddy to thank for the info.” He kisses my temple. “She
only thinks of herself, and that’s one thing I’ve never cared for. I was
raised to be selfless and she wasn’t.” He turns me so I’m facing him
and straddling his lap. He takes his rough calloused hand and puts it on
my cheek gently and whispers, “But you, Tru, you are the most selfless
person I’ve ever met in my whole life.” He kisses me and Ashton’s
words drift to the back of my mind as his warmth radiates from his
mouth and travels down to my core. This is what I need. My nerves are
soothed and my soul relaxes.

After a heated make out session, we head back to my dorm and
even though he isn’t supposed to, he walks me to my door. I’m so
ready to get this dress off, but I’m dreading having to tell Jazz her
dress is ruined. When we reach my door, I don’t want the night to end,
however I’m hesitant about moving too fast.

I decide to invite him in anyways because I really don’t want to be
alone right now and he calms me. “You want to come in?”
He doesn’t say anything at first and just stares. I feel stupid for
asking. Maybe I’m moving too fast. Finally he answers in the middle
of my internal debate. “Yeah.” He opens my door after I unlock it.
We walk in and after I take my shoes off, I grab my things for a
shower. “Do you mind if I get a shower? I promise I won’t be long I
just feel all
yuck.”
He starts laughing and sits on my bed. “You feel all yuck? That’s
cute.” He starts nodding his head. “Yeah, I don’t mind. Go ahead. Just
lock the door because I can’t guarantee that I won’t try to join you.”
He winks and I blush while shivers of excitement run down my spine.
I grab a purple and white lacy short and tank top pajama set that
Jazz bought. She said they weren’t her size and decided to give them
to me, just like my new Nike shoes. When I tried to tell her to just take
them back, she said they were on sale and can’t be returned. I won’t
complain about it now because even though the date had a fist fight
added, it was still amazing and I really want to look good in front of
Jax. He makes me feel better about myself. When he told me he
believed I could accomplish my dream of opening a shelter, I was so
happy. No one has ever believed in me before, besides Ms. Freeman,
and because it’s Jax it seems to mean so much more.
When I knock on Jazz’s adjoining room, I don’t get an answer. I
lock her side but I guess I’m being daring because I leave my side
unlocked. I know if he happens to come in I won’t complain, and I
really want him too, but I know it’s too soon. We might have known
one another for a month, but we just had our first date.
I turn on the water then step out of the ruined dress and put it in
the hamper. I’ll have to give Jazz the bad news tomorrow. After I step
in the warm water, I start to think of how good the night was going and
then the fight, and I’m worried about Jax getting in trouble. I’m
surprised cops haven’t come to arrest either one of us.
Letting the water fall in my face, I feel cool air hit my back and
turn around to see a very intense, naked, and gloriously sexy Jax
standing behind me. My breath rushes out of my lungs and heat builds
in my core. The shower is small but we can both fit in without
touching each other. I can definitely feel the heat from his hard body
and his stare as he devours my naked, wet skin that is flushed and pink
from him alone.
Honestly I’m surprised that he wasn’t bluffing. He steps up to
where we are touching, as water running over his head and flowing
down his face, and says, “I warned you.” Then he wraps his strong
muscled arm around my waist and presses me up against him.
I can feel his erection against my body, and I know that I really
want this. I don’t care if we just started dating or only met a month
ago. I’ve never wanted someone so bad, and I don’t want to pass up
this opportunity to feel every inch of his beautiful body sliding against
mine, inside and out. With water flowing down my face, I stare into his
darkened eyes that say so much. His fingers squeeze my waist, and I
shiver from that small amount of pressure because everything with this
man is earth moving for me.
He brings his face to my neck and starts to slowly kiss my erratic
pulse. I can feel his scruff scratching my heated skin as he slowly licks
up to my ear and whispers in a voice that’s rough and seductive, “You
are so exquisite, Tru. I’ll never stop wanting you or stop wanting to
touch every piece of you.” He sucks my earlobe into his mouth, and I
bend my neck to give him better access as one of my legs wraps
around his and starts to rub against his muscular calf muscle.
I feel his other hand reach up slowly and remove the clip out of
my hair, then he starts to massage my scalp. It feels so good I push my
body closer to his to get more. He growls and I feel the vibration
against my breasts. My nipples harden as they rub against his chest. It
causes a sensation unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I feel my
whole body sing.
My hands reach out and travel up his slick, hard shoulders. When
I feel him bite my ear, I automatically dig my nails into his skin. A
moan escapes me when he moves to my mouth and sucks my tongue
into his. “You like that, don’t you?” he asks me, and again his voice
causes wetness between my legs. “Answer me,” he commands, and it’s
such an erotic sound I moan again.
I’m finally able to talk and say in a voice I don’t recognize, “Yes.”
He grabs one of my hands and wraps it around his erection. It feels so
good against my fingers that I can’t help but start moving from the
base to the tip just to feel more of him. “
You
do this to me, Tru.” He
thrusts deeper into my hand, and I watch his eyes start to darken. “You
drive me to the point of pain with how much I want you. I’ve wanted
to taste you...” he touches my lips “...here...” I can’t help but suck his
finger into my mouth and imagine it’s his cock. He lifts his eyebrow
and looks at me with so much carnal need in his brown eyes I can’t
think straight, and I feel dizzy from the blood rushing through my
veins.
He removes his finger too soon, but before I can complain, he
runs it down my neck to my collarbone, which causes chills to break
out across my hot skin. When he reaches my sensitive nipples and
pinches one, I push my breast out for more. “Here,” he says then slides
his hand lower and roams over my scar. He caresses it with such a
gentle touch. “Here.” His hand descends lower and he finally reaches
the area screaming for attention. He slides his fingers between my wet
lips. “And here.”
My hips start rotating and grinding on his hand just as his lips land
on mine. Our mouths attack one another and hit so hard our teeth hit,
but I love every second of it. I return the favor and suck on his tongue
while his fingers torture me by rubbing along my clit. I want and need
more, but I’m not in control right now. He is and he knows it, but I
don’t mind because I’m enjoying every fucking second of this torture.
He drops to his knees. The tightness inside starts building and he
removes his hand. I can’t help the sob of frustration that flows off my
swollen lips. He looks up at me with wet, messy hair going
everywhere and water running all over his body. I have never wanted
to be an element so bad in my life, but thoughts leave me as I watch
his eyes focus on my C-section scar above my pubic area. He leans
forward and presses the sweetest kiss against the area, and it causes me
to feel so cherished and loved for the first time in my life.
Lifting his eyes to mine, he lifts my leg to place it over his
shoulder. I should feel self conscious about him doing this, but I’m
not. Heat pools between my legs.
He stares as my pulsating sex screaming for attention and licks his
lips before his eyes rest on mine again. I feel my legs get weak and
grab the shower rod to hold myself upright before I turn into a puddle.
“Please, Jax,” I beg. I need him to touch me with more than his
stare. I bite my lip to keep from screaming as I watch his fingers
spread my swollen lips. He stares at me as his tongue makes contact. I
close my eyes because his stare will push me over the edge too soon
and I can’t help my body’s response as I buck farther into his hot
mouth as he continues lick and suck.
“Look at me, Tru.” I open my eyes and stare at this sexy man on
his knees in front of me. “You taste so good. Your pussy was made for
me and
only
me.” He licks me then takes my clit between his teeth to
adds just enough to push me over the edge and fall. I feel his finger
thrust inside as I ride out my orgasm. Then he adds another and pushes
them deeper.
When I finally come back down to earth, I notice he’s standing in
front of me and shutting off the water. My body is so weak from the
orgasm I just experienced, I’m holding myself up by a death grip on
the shower rod. He must know how weak I am because he scoops my
naked body up and carries me to my room.
I love the feeling of our skin sliding against each other and feel at
home when he holds me this close. I can hear his heartbeat and
irregular breathing. His hot breath fans across my temple when he
kisses me. It gives me chills all over my body.
When he lays me on the bed, I see that he’s still very erect and I
want to please him. He lies beside me and I reach out to stroke his hard
length, but he grabs my hand before I can make contact. “No, Tru,” he
says and I can see he’s struggling for control.
I want to make him lose it though. “I want to, Jax.” I try again but
he still stops me. “Why?” I ask, trying not to let my feelings get hurt.
He looks into my eyes and straight into my soul. “I don’t want you
to think that it’s all I want from you.” He places my hand over his
heart, and I feel the impact of the intimacy of this moment. “I want
you to know that this...” he places his hand over mine “...this belongs
to you. From the first day I saw you on campus, you owned me.” He
sits up then takes his opposite hand and lays it over my heart and left
breast by my tattoo. “This is where I want to be. Not just for tonight
but for the rest of your life and all the ones that follow.”
I want to tell him so bad that he’s there, but I’m scared. So
instead, I just reach up with my free hand and run my fingers through
his wet hair to the base of his skull. We stare at one another feeling
each other’s heartbeats. Then I pull his mouth to mine and let my kiss
answer for me.
I fall asleep with a very naked Jax running his fingers from my
tattoo, down across my scar while he whispers how much he loves me.