Let It Burn (49 page)

“That’s it, baby. God damn you feel so fucking good. I love when you get dirty for me. You’re so beautiful when you come baby. Look at me. Come for me baby. I need to feel you come while I’m deep inside this pussy. I need to know I made you feel good again.” Charli whimpered, the hand between her legs picking up as she tugged at her nipples, giving me my dirtiest fantasy all at once.

“Fuck! Yes! Cage! Oh...baby...I love you. I love you. Come with me. I need you to...I love you, Cage!” That did it; I was soaked from the rain, from her come, from the exertion and I thrust hard a few more times and came hard.

“Fuck yeah,” I grunted into the rain, hands rough at her thighs, “I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

At last I could focus, falling against her, claiming her mouth as she tangled her hands in my wet hair. The barn smelled of sweat and sex and dirt but it was fucking perfect. Rolling, I laid us face to face, but didn’t pull out of her yet. I needed the connection so I hiked her leg over my hip. Charli kissed me all over, leaving marks at my skin that I welcomed. I loved when she did that shit.

Charli trembled against me so I brought her close to my chest, cradling her as I whispered over and over. Said how much I loved her, how sorry I was, how I didn’t deserve her. Charli soothed me, hushing back soft words that said she loved me too, that she was sorry too and I did deserve her.

We stayed like that for a while, the rain still pouring down as we curled up in that rotted old barn on that dirty old blanket. When the skies began to darken, I wondered how long we had been there. I was hard again, nothing new there.

Charli flipped us over and bent close. Pressing her tits to my chest, she told me she loved me as she rode my cock, slow and hard. Still the rain fell and I watched her as she made love to me. Knew I really couldn’t live without her now. When she laced our fingers together to cover her tits, I told her that and she smiled. Then she made me come when she told me I’d never have to.

Then the rain stopped.

I loved the rain. Always had. I loved the smell and the rolling thunder, the bursts of lightening. I loved the sound it made against a tin roof, like the barn at my parent’s place. I loved the way it freshened the grass and washed away the sunlight. Now I loved it for new reasons.

Cage was angry because I was not fighting. He was right to be. He exploded just before the rain poured down on us, giving me all his truths, all his pain and I loved him more for letting loose. For showing me his anger, his need, his frustration.

The rain washed it all away, made me want to fight just like he was begging me to. Before I could think, I was naked, letting the rain wash away my pain with his. Then he was touching me and somehow we were in the barn.

I needed him to take control. To not let me shutter myself when I wanted to. When I just wanted to walk away, I needed him to chase me. Cage needed me to let him take control. To chase when I ran, and to let him break down my shutters because only he could. We made love in a dusty old barn, the rain washing over us through the ragged tin roof.

When I looked into his eyes as I took control, riding him and taking what was mine again, I knew I could not live without him. So when he told me he couldn’t do it either, I told him he would never have to. I hurt because of the lies but he hurt because I gave up. I was better than that and he deserved better.

We got dressed quietly, shivering in our soaked clothes. Cage was terrified, I could feel it. I wasn’t ready to go back home with him. I needed time to heal. Besides, I had work to do at the shop with Maisie and Sadie. However, I knew I would be going home to him. Home to Chicago.

Even if it hurt, even if we fought or sometimes it got to be too much, or worse, not enough. I wanted him. To own him. To let him own me. I loved him more than I could stand sometimes. Sitting beside him in the Blazer as he warmed it up, I felt that. I watched him in the late afternoon sun, the skies gray overhead. He was beautiful and he wanted me. He loved me. He smoothed out all my ragged edges and made me feel bright and warm and I wouldn’t lose him.

“I love you, Cage Cooper.” Cage looked up from fiddling with the ancient stereo.

“I fucking love you, Charli Dixon. Some Sugar, baby.” I laughed, leaning over to give him whatever he wanted, kissing him as his hand tangled in my hair.

“I want the boys to like you baby. They will expect some groveling. Can you comply?” Although he had kind of already done enough in my eyes, my brothers would expect more.

“Abso-fucking-lutely. Come on, let me get you back to your place and I’ll make dinner or something. It looks like it’s going to storm all night and I just might want to fuck my girl in a barn in the rain again.” Damn he made me feel things; dirty, wonderful, deep things that burned through me.

We drove back towards the house, not my home-not any more-as I pointed out spots around town to him. The one book store where I wasted most of my youth. The crumbling library. My schools. The tiny fire station. Cage listened to stories and brought our hands up to his lips. Squeezing gently when a memory is sad, kissing my knuckles every few miles.

The skies are lit up again with lightning and I think he’s right about the storm. Which makes me look forward to more barn time, a smirk at my lips. When I glance over at him, he’s watching me and smirking as if he can read my thoughts.

At a stop sign, I lean over and I’m kissing him before I hear my name called. No. Fucking. Way. I turn to find Widow Jenkins frowning at me, an umbrella in her hand, though it’s dry for the moment, and accusation in her eyes.

“Widow Jenkins.” I waved then roll my eyes as she glares at Cage.

“Afternoon, Ma'am.” Cage smiled that devastating smile, dimples and all and she actually blushed before we pulled away.

Cage was quiet for a few more blocks before we paused in front of my mom’s shop. It was still locked up tight, my handwritten “Closed...For Now” sign posted in bright blue on the front of the white building. Leaning over, he pressed his face into the back of my neck, his arm slipping over my waist. I took a deep breath as he moved soft, butterfly kisses over my skin.

When I twisted to look at him, to explain or answer the questions I felt, I was struck. Cage looked at me with open eyes, full of love and patience and acceptance. He would wait for me to answer his questions or to run for as long as my pain let me. Then he would be there to listen to my answers and soothe my pain away.

“Widow Jenkins wanted me to be just like her. Her husband died when I was just a kid, but we all remember how much she loved him. He was a good man and we all liked him. But he loved her and would never have wanted her to waste her life away. I tried to tell her that my last day here. That he wouldn’t want that. That Tucker wouldn’t want that for me. I had talked to a man a few days before; Ryder. He was handsome and dangerous and I was tired of being a widow that never got married. I let him kiss me in the middle of town square,” I pointed to the Gazebo where that night, lights had been strung up for a celebration, “like an idiot. I just wanted to feel something. I had a crush on him once; he chased me a little after Tucker went away. Just because he thought he couldn’t have me, really. That night, everyone saw us.”

“He is the other man you told me about. Did...did you two...I mean did you want him, Charli?” I shook my head as my gaze met his.

“No. I thought I did once, a long time ago. That night I think I was using him. So many people saw it and the next day, Widow Jenkins came in and gave me what for. Said I would have broken Tucker’s heart. I lost it, Cage. I told her he didn’t love me enough and that I didn’t love him enough. Because we didn’t. Maybe we might have gotten married, to please these fucking people. I doubt it. I closed the shop that day, kicked her right out and put that sign up. I did that for me. Finally, I did something for me. Now, I need to help the girls open it again, for my mom. You get that, don’t you?” Cage smiled, flashing that dimple and nodded.

“Of course I do, Sugar. I don’t want you to ever have doubts or regrets. I have enough for us both. I should never have tried to find myself in all the wrong people. I was always going to find myself in you. I just had to wait for you to storm out of this little town and into my life.” I laughed and he did too, but then we both sobered.

“I am coming home. To you. Just...not yet. Not till I know I can do it right.” Cage sighed as he nodded, fisting my hair and giving a tug.

“You promise me one thing. You know that cottage, me and Mr. Belvedere, are your home now. Not this town or that shop or the farm. Promise me I get to come home one day to my girl, my cat, and my home.”
Sweet Jesus
Cage and his pretty words.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely. I love you. I do, so much,” Tears flooded my eyes, blurring him before I blinked them away, “I’m still angry and hurt but I love you more than that. I just...I need to get it right this time. No regrets. No looking back.” Of course my family would always be here so I would always have ties here; but I no longer wanted to be tied to the town, to that shop, to the farm.

“Then promise me. I need the words, Sugar. I need to know you are my future and I am yours still. I can’t...I can’t go back not knowing.” Cage needed something now and I was going to give it to him. He gave me everything.

“I promise you. Cage you are the great love of my life,” Tears filled his eyes now and I knew I was doing it right for once, “you are my future, Cage Cooper. I am yours.” Then I couldn’t say anything else because he was kissing me, yanking me over the center console and into his lap.

“Sugar, I love your pretty words. I love you. You are the great love of
my
life; I will do anything to make you happy. To always make you look at me like I matter, like I’m worth something. I need you and I won’t ever fucking hurt you again. I promise you, baby. I promise.” Lacing my arms around his neck, I combed my hands through his hair as my forehead touched his.

“I need you too, baby. You made me feel alive again. Like bright, warm sunlight. I am coming home. You are my home now. Promise me something, now.” I pressed close then his hands slid beneath my damp top, urging me closer.

“Anything, Sugar.” I leaned back against the steering wheel, watching his eyes go dark and warm with emotion.

“Let the past go. All of it. You are worth more than a suck and a fuck in a bar with faces you can’t remember and names you never knew. I am worth more than the memory of a man who never loved me, even if he tried. Who I loved because he tried, not because he was my forever.” Cage tipped his head back and I watched tears slip down his temples.

“I promise. When you told me you were engaged,” His words were thick, a nerve jumping in his jaw, “it killed me, Sugar. It’s bothered me for too long that another man put a ring on your finger. I know it....it wasn’t for the right reasons and I know you said yes for the wrong reasons. I know when you come home and its time for me to put a ring on your finger, it will be right.” My breath caught in my chest as he looked up at me, warmth making his eyes more honey than hazel.

“Cage....” His strong hands lifted to cup my jaw, thumbs shushing my words.

“Of course I put a ring on your finger, Sugar. You are my forever, Charli.” He was not asking, and I knew that but still...it was a promise I had not asked for. But one that filled me up and had me blooming once again.

“I love you.”

“I love you more, Sugar.”

I knew better but I didn’t argue.

1

Cage

Charli’s brothers were hard to crack. After finding me in the barn with their sister after I broke her heart, and Cash giving me a beating I still ached from, they were sullen. After another barn run in, where Charli fucked me in the rain and gave me what I needed, I brought her to the house to make dinner.

Charli said her brothers would be there so I tripled what I planned to make. I heard her on her phone while I was cooking and two things were clear. One, she was the baby and they loved her the same way I loved Gigi; Two, that didn’t mean she didn’t run the family. Because Charli ran those boys, maybe even more than their wives. They would be here, and if they were not, they would answer to her.

They showed up right at six, Maisie and Sadie carting in side dishes that smelled and looked homemade. The girls took the kitchen over, even though I had the steaks and ribs well in hand. They shooed me out, shoving three ice cold beers into my hands. Charli gave me a sweet kiss then each sister dropped a kiss at my cheek before shoving into the living room.

Where her massive brothers sat in front of the fire I had struggled to get going earlier. Now it was roaring, the house smelled of hickory and smoke and kind of reminded me of the cottage. Swallowing my pride, knowing I had to make this work, I headed over.

Colton was warmer than Cash and he took the beer I offered with a smile. Cash took his beer after a long stare, popping the top off on the mantle and pulling at it till it was nearly empty. Well, shit. The three of us stood in a semi-circle for a few minutes before I took a drink and decided I had to do this.

It was nonnegotiable; Charli was my life now and these men were her family. I said I would do anything. Taking that beating, though I could have handled him if I had to, was just the start of it. In fact, the beating might be easier than this part. Just as I cleared my throat to speak up at last, Colton beat me to it.

“A fire fighter, huh,” He eyed me as if wondering if that were, in fact, possible, “how long?” This I could do; I could talk about my job.

“Volunteered right out of high school. My pop’s a firefighter, I didn’t really have any other designs, really. I got my EMT certification about a year later and so I’ve been full time ever since. Little more than four years. I finish up with school around Christmas.” Cash watched me detail this, emptying his beer fast.

“You plan to be a lifetime man too?” By the narrowed gaze, his eyes darker gray than Charli’s and a hell of a lot less warm, I didn’t think this was a good question.

“That’s the plan. My pop is fire chief at another station, but that took a few decades to get to.” I took another drink but it did nothing to help the scratchiness in my throat. He was getting at something.

“Serious job. Dangerous. You could get hurt, no matter if you’ve got it in your blood and fucking talk to fire. Charli already buried one man.” There it was.

“Cash,” Colton stepped up a little, giving a sharp shake of his head, “be realistic, bro. Charli had no say about Tucker. Fuck man, give her a break. Cash is a dick because Tucker was his best friend; no other man is good enough for his sister. Didn’t help you sent her home in tears, Cooper.” I nodded and turned my eyes to Cash.

“I never want to hurt her; that’s what hurt her, me trying to protect her with lies. I just tried to protect her from my past because I know I’m not good enough for her. But I love her. I’ll do anything for her; if Charli wanted me to sell hot dogs on the corner of Damon, I would. I know a little about Tucker,” I was cautious because even though I knew all the truth, I wasn’t sure they did.

“From what she’s shared with me. He sounds like he was a good man. Charli loved him.” It was all true. I thought he was a coward for a proposal meant to protect his own secrets, but that didn’t matter now. I didn’t doubt Tucker had loved Charli. Not the way I did, though.