Life Is Short But Wide (24 page)

Tante made a reservation at the very best hotel dining room in Wideland, after she checked to see if African Americans were welcome there. Her accent negated any but the most absurd prejudice. She wanted a peaceful dinner with her niece.

Myine was a little surprised that Bertha and Juliet were not joining them, but decided not to mention it. Myine and Tante talked about the business they must attend to.

Then Tante asked, “What do you know about men, Myine? Are you a virgin?”

Myine blushed, embarrassed.

Tante exclaimed, quietly, “You are! An old virgin. Any virgin over the age of eleven is an old virgin these days.”

Myine stammered, thinking of Pa Whipet, “I’ve done … a little.”

Tante smiled, saying, “Listen, I’m glad you haven’t been messed over, and some male hasn’t left you with a house full of kids.”

“I’m only going in my twenties, Aunty.”

“Listen, Myine, it happens earlier than that with some people. Fools, I call them. That’s why I wanted to say a few things to you. Number one. Never love anyone more than you love yourself. God and children don’t count, but watch the children. You can only trust God.

“Number two. Never ask a man if he loves you, unless you know he wants to tell you at that moment in time. If you have to ask, he does not love you. If you have to ask, he will know it is more important to you than it is to him.

“Never do any ‘favors’ with your body. Your body is too special, too private for that. It is a gift from God.

“Be clean at all times. There should never be an odor coming from you, from any place on your body. Any place. One of the things I like about France is the bidet. It helps to keep you clean and odorless … your private parts.

“You can be a bit sloppy in your dress, sometimes, but always in the best clothes. Old or new.

“Always love your lover, never do sex for fun and games. It always works against you.

“Never stop learning. Watch everything that happens to you, and try to understand why it happened.

“Don’t confide all your business to anyone.

“Don’t trust anyone, completely. Perhaps dogs and cats. But
remember, Jesus said, ‘None is good, but the Father.’ It does not mean everyone is bad, it just means you never know.

“Above many other things, don’t be a
liar
or a
thief.
You have no idea how much love and respect will have to do with the most important things in your life. Your whole life. Not being a liar or a thief is a most important thing to respect, to love. It is not true that it is easier to be bad than it is to be good. It is quicker to be bad; you have to think to be good, but the thinking is so much more beneficial in the long term.

“Without respect, there is no love … for long, for anyone, but a fool.

“Keep God in your heart. Be friends with God. You will have to call on Him, perhaps many times, someday. You want Him to know you. I must be honest, I am not as close to … God as I should be.” Tante’s face was grim for a moment, then she said, “But I mean to be as soon as my life … adjusts.

“That will do for now. Enjoy your dinner. And you can love me all you want to.”

Soon, time was growing very short for Tante to return to Europe. By now, Myine loved her aunt so much. She would stare at her and think, “My mother was from the same womb as this fantastic woman who is my aunt. Oh! Why did that hateful murderer come into our life, and take my family from me?”

She would hug her aunt at surprising moments throughout the day. She held her arm around her waist on nights they slept together. Tante didn’t mind; she knew her niece was thinking of her sister, Rose.

Myine had gotten her driver’s permit to learn to drive.
Tante had said, “The important thing is to know how to drive. You can practice after I am gone.”

Speaking as she rushed, looked, hurried, Tante prepared to leave Wideland. When Tante finally flew away in the huge silver airplane, so much had changed, much for the better, in Myine’s life.

The house now had her name on the title. There was a new bedroom set in her own room; no more basements, or boxes for her dresser. There was even a new bedroom set in Tante’s old bedroom. The house was clean throughout, and the steps and banister were repaired and shone with cleanliness and polish.

The kitchen was still being worked on; cabinets were being taken down, and the good, solid wood was being cleaned and polished. Everything looked so much better, cleaner. Best of all, Myine thought, there was a full-size, secondhand refrigerator.

The ten thousand dollars was being whittled down, but she had something to show for every dollar. The entire house had been transformed. It was, again, a wonderful place to come home to.

Aunt Tante had not bothered about the land, saying, “Never mind all this land right now. You can clean, clear, and work all that out to suit yourself. There is plenty of help around. Bertha and Cloud can help you get the right people.” She had looked worried then. “Bertha is not doing so well. She works too hard. She had better let Juliet marry that boy, Cloud. I think they are doing everything already anyway, and she needs someone to put her mind at rest about Juliet. He seems a good sort, if he is anything like Wings. And as far as Herman and the other men around here, you watch yourself around men. Herman is at least ten years older than you; that is too old for you. And he has marriage
debris in his life. You just get on with your college exam work, like we have arranged for your teaching certificate, then you will be taking care of your own business.

“Perhaps you will come to France to find your future husband; there is no one in Wideland for you to make the kind of marriage you should have.” Tante was thinking of her own daughter, Monee, whom she knew was fooling around with someone other than the wealthy old man Tante wanted Monee to marry. Tante loved money, and would even sacrifice her daughter’s love on that altar.

Myine didn’t answer then, because she didn’t quite know enough, and she was nowhere near close to thinking about a marriage. But she looked thoughtful. She knew she liked Cloud, and she loved Juliet, but that was their business.

She began to watch Bertha closer though; she did look tired, and ill. “The only thing I can really do is not charge them rent, but I wasn’t going to do that anyway; they are my only family, here in Oklahoma.”

Now, we are getting to the part I love: Love. The stem of this “Y” is not too long, but it’s long enough for love to happen where, by the way, I think it should happen. Heavens, chile! I think love is the only thing that makes life worth living! That is why so many fools fall for that imitation love, and end up suffering for not knowing what love is. Look in your Bible-, there is the true description of it in there. 1 Cor. 13:4. God created us, so He must know what we really need.

Now, I have told you, so far, this tale from two or three perspectives. After I tell you this last part from my perspective, you can decide for yourself, but I think it’s the most interesting part about these people. It is exciting to me that if you live, and think right, you can find love no matter how old you are. And no matter how old you are, it’s always good.

•

Time was catching up to Herman Tenderman. For a long time he had not known Rose was dead, but when he knew he was heartbroken. He had loved Rose. “She put my whole life in the right direction. She helped me. Or I would have been just like Gary, and so many other young men.”

He had worried about little Myine, Bertha, and all of them. “Defenseless women” was how he thought of them. He had helped to look for Myine. When she came home, he went to see them. Myine was not so “little” even if she was young.

Rut his life at that time was so jumbled and chaotic, sometimes he didn’t know which way to turn. So he hadn’t been there regularly, as even he thought he should have been. He had met Tante during her return to help Myine. “Quite a woman, but not like our sweet Rose.”

His life, at that time, was so full of changes, surprises, things he had to do for himself. “I didn’t do all I could have for them; I should have done more.”

Being alone was very lonely when he first left Wanda; too quiet sometime. He didn’t like eating alone, and usually some youngster would be at Wanda’s. Rut he had been sleeping alone a long time. He knew he liked the new peace and quiet. Herman’s new life began to steady and develop a new pattern. He began to enjoy his aloneness.

If he put something down, it was there when he reached for it the next time he wanted it. He had to cook all his food, if he didn’t eat out, but he could cook and eat the things he wanted, and not plan for the whole family and their friends. Things he had wanted more of were still there when he came home from his job.

He began to think of his family as “my used to be family.” He had to keep reminding himself, when he missed them, they were not his biological children. “I still love them, but I can’t worry about that. I love my ‘almost daughter,’ Rose Bertha, but she is her mother’s child. She is going to be just like Wanda, no matter what I do. She already thinks I’m a fool. I can’t live that way.”

Since he had left their old house, money matters had forced changes on Wanda. She had cooled down her drinking. She got drunk less and less. When she had a few drinks she would cry about her life. “Ya’ll ran my good man away.”

Then again, “That man is such a fool! He had a good home here. Well, at lees I got to keep the house; for all my years in this here world, I got a house! But,” she sobbed, “I ain’t got no money, and no man. He took all my good years, and left me now when I am gettin old.”

Wanda would look at her daughter with anger. “You! And yo big mouth! I jes tol ya so you’d know! Ya wasn’t sposed to tell him. Fool! Ya ruined my life!” She sniffled, blew her nose, and glared at Rose Bertha, “Ya ruined my life and yours too, ya dummy! Fool! Fool! Fool!”

Rose Bertha would give her mother a dirty look, which happened pretty often these days. She always had an answer for her mother. “You need to get up and get a job, Mama! I ain’t got no clothes to go get one, and I’m too young anyway. And I’m sick and tired of eatin beans and bread.”