When did he become so selfish?
She was more than he could resist.
With one trembling hand, he cupped the back of her neck and lifted her face to his mouth. Her little moan when their lips met threatened to unhinge him. Daydreams of making love to Lila were nothing compared to the reality. Slowly, with infinite precision, he ran his lips across her throat, and then pressed a moist trail along the valley between her breasts, down farther to pause over her flat stomach. She squirmed beneath him, and he teased her with his tongue, tickling and playing, promising more with each kiss. He wanted to touch her all over, see every inch of the Lila that normally kept herself covered.
Jared was painfully aware of the
ghardian
on duty outside the door, the need to be quiet, and the knowledge that they didn’t have long. “Remember that Welsh mountain I told you about?”
“Yes.” Her breath hitched when he nipped at her belly.
“I want you to pretend we’re there again. That we have all night to love each other.”
“I don’t need to.” Her hands clasped around his head, pulling him back to her face. “I don’t care where we are. And I know this is going to be quick, but I want you so much, Jared. I’ve waited so long for you. I can’t wait any longer.”
Christ
. He was hard and ready, but he couldn’t bear to hurt her. He stole another kiss and dropped back to her stomach, to lick a hot trail across her hipbone to the inside of her thigh.
She gasped, her hands snatching at his head again. “What are you doing, baby? Why are you…
Oh
!”
He pressed an open-mouthed kiss over her core, and she gasped aloud. He felt her fingers stroking his shoulders and smiled as he licked her some more. The scent of her arousal filled his nose, and he lapped at her, greedy, wanting to gorge himself on her. His cock ached with need, but he’d make it good for her too, if he could just slow down a little.
He slipped one finger inside her. Wet and hot, she felt tight, and he sucked in a quick breath.
Slow down
. Her moan was pure pleasure, and the surge of moisture on his tongue hit his blood like a fire in his veins.
Remember, she’s a virgin
. He
had
to be gentle. His tongue circled her clit and teased her some more, drawing another moan. She tasted like perfection, but if he didn’t get inside her soon, he’d die. His dick throbbed, fit to burst. He’d never been so aroused.
He sucked in a quick breath, tried to tamp down the lust, and failed.
“Please, Jared,” she whimpered, “
please
, baby.” He added a second finger, pumping them while his tongue danced over her clit. Her whimper turned into a strangled groan. “
Please
, don’t make me wait.”
He couldn’t refuse.
Lila
It felt as though I had a spring coiled inside me, winding tighter with each new move Jared made. My skin tingled all over, and I couldn’t keep still. I needed something, but didn’t know what. So many new sensations. I struggled to process them all and gave up trying.
When he finally lifted his head, a huge smile lit his face and he stared at me for a long moment. “I love you, Lila.” One hand cupped my face, his thumb brushing gently across my cheek. “I’ve always loved you.”
The thumb whispered past my mouth, and I twisted to catch it with my teeth, sucking on the tip until he replaced his thumb with his lips. I surged to meet him, desperate and needy, unsure what was happening to me. I felt out of control, aching and restless, a heat and pressure between my legs unlike anything I’d ever known.
He nudged my thighs farther apart with his knee and settled above me, caging my body, forearms either side of my head. When I skimmed my hands down his sides I encountered only hot flesh; he’d removed his loincloth at some point. Still, he hesitated. I kissed him hard, almost feverish now. “I’ve always loved you too.” My words were muffled and indistinct against his face. “I just didn’t realize how much.”
“Lila.” It sounded like a plea. He kissed me again, deeply and hungrily, and I felt him pushing slowly inside me, advancing a little at a time.
Everything I’d read had warned me it would hurt. I’d feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t like it. Nothing had been said about the wave of pleasure that swept across me. There was a fleeting twinge of pain as he drove deeper, but it was gone in a flash. I felt full inside, stretched and impaled.
Jared paused above me, our eyes locked. “Baby, you feel so good. You okay down there?” The softest of whispers, he followed it with another heart stopping kiss. I wiggled my hips, felt him shift inside me and saw his eyes widen. I stole another kiss. “I’m very okay.” It came out breathless, but with a sense of anticipation. “Is that it? Have you finished?”
His eyebrows shot up, and he chuckled, before sucking my lower lip into his mouth. “We haven’t even started yet.”
I felt a hand slide down my thigh, adjusting me, lifting my leg to bend at the knee. He was deeper again, and the pressure took my breath away. Jared started to move, flexing his hips, sliding inside and then retreating, forward and back, in and out. The tension inside me grew again, a deep ache low in my belly. My skin felt too tight, too sensitive. Jared’s breath scorched me, and when he bent his head to lick at my nipple I clutched at him, needing him closer—needing something I couldn’t define.
I bucked and rose to meet him, twisted in his arms and tried to pull him closer, wanting our bodies to be touching as much as possible. I stroked his cropped hair, traced the muscles in his biceps and wound my arms around his neck. His movements grew harder, faster, his breath ragged as he kissed me with everything he had. I lost track of time. We could have been there minutes or hours. I had no idea. It was just Jared, finally a part of me. I scraped one foot up his leg, my hands gripping his shoulders and my fingers curling into his flesh.
He groaned, buried his face in my throat, and gave one last deep thrust, before holding still inside me. “Lila, baby.”
I felt him move one hand, drag it down between our bodies and touch me where we lay joined. An electric shock zinged through me and I couldn’t hold back a cry. He closed his mouth over mine, muffling the noise.
I
had
to touch him. I snaked down my own hand and closed my fingers around him as he slid out again.
Jesus
. Hard like a metal rod, but hot, burning hot, and silky.
Velvet over steel
. He jerked and cried out into my mouth. I explored with my fingertips and found his hand pressed against me, cupped around my mound. He grabbed my fingers and held them there, rubbing against me, finding a spot that electrified my entire body. Raw pleasure crashed over me, sending my head spinning and driving the breath from my lungs. Unable to stay quiet, I gasped and whispered his name, soft little moans.
I teetered on the edge of a dark precipice. Blind and mindless, burning at every touch, I felt as though I would break into a million pieces. I clawed at him, desperate for more. His fingers were still wrapped around my own. They stroked and touched between my legs, brushing the hot little point of pleasure and driving me to climb higher in this crazy spiral.
Jared hammered into me, his breath ragged. I felt a moment of wonder and then I convulsed, my body contorting and pulsing while I whimpered, utterly stunned.
“Lila.” Jared shouted against my skin, the cry filled with emotion. He lay motionless apart from gasping for breath. Finally, he lifted his head, perspiration dotted across his forehead, and searched my face. His kiss was gentle. Intimate. “I never thought we’d have this. You have no idea what you do to me.”
He started to move, to lift himself from me, but I clung tightly. “Don’t go,” I whispered, burrowing into him. If I could crawl inside his body and stay there, I would.
He sagged a little and rolled to the side, taking me with him. Still joined. I closed my eyes and pressed tiny kisses across his poor, scarred chest while he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
“They’ll be here soon.” He brushed a kiss against my temple and nuzzled my ear. “Lila, baby, they can’t find us like this.”
Jared
He loved the dazed, flushed look on her face. Loved the knowledge he’d put it there. If they’d had more time, he’d have taken her again, but more slowly, dragging out every second of her pleasure. The sound of her moans and the feel of her hands were things he’d never forget. The moment he’d entered her was etched on his brain. She was so tight and hot, as though made for him.
Dragging his thoughts back to the moment, he eased out of her and retrieved the abandoned washcloth. He needed to clean her, to wipe away all traces of him. He kissed the damp skin as he washed it, unable to stop touching her. She had a tiny mole on her inner thigh that fascinated him, and a ring of scars around her left knee. He touched them gently with the cloth, curious as to what she’d done, but she wriggled free and brought his mouth to her breasts, and he forgot to ask.
They were both silent. Lila seemed shy again, overwhelmed, and he feared she regretted it.
Regretted him
. He washed his hands and face in the cooling water, sluiced some over his hair and tried to bury his rampant, out of control need for her. It was no use. He turned to face her and caught her staring at his back.
She moved closer, hesitated a moment and then threw herself into his arms. “I had no idea,” she whispered. “Why didn’t I trust you? All this time we’ve been apart, everything you’ve been through. If I’d gone with you, we could have been together.” She swallowed hard, her voice shaking, and he hastened to interrupt.
“Don’t say anything. Just let me hold you.”
They were clean, dressed and sitting apart from each other when the
ghardians
returned. Would they suspect? Jared watched Marc’s gaze sharpen as it raked over Lila’s beautiful face, saw how her cheeks flushed in reply. He ached to cross the room and take her hand but resisted. To make this desperate plan work, Lila’s
ghardian
had to trust him—had to still want Lila.
Before Jared had time to change his mind, he strode up to the soldier and addressed him in a friendly tone. “I would speak with you a moment.” Jared looked toward the door, and Marc nodded, suspicion flaring in his dark eyes.
They moved together in a rustle of cloaks and leather, and Jared was painfully aware of Lila staring at them. He flashed her a smile and closed the door behind him, drawing Marc into a huddle.
“What’s going on, Grohl?” Marc’s face gave nothing away, but his voice was cold.
“I need you to promise you’ll take Lila back. She plans on staying here with me.”
The soldier flinched. “She told you this?” His fingers clenched around the sword at his side.
“Yes, but it’s too dangerous. I won’t let her risk her life for me.”
“You want me to force her through the portal?” The words were calm and measured. Jared had no idea what was going on inside Marc’s head.
“I want you to tell her I’m dead. She’ll have no reason to stay here.” There. He’d said it. He felt sick. Marc stayed silent, his brows drawing together into a dark, forbidding V. “You
have
to. If she thinks, even for a second, that you’re lying, she’ll come back. You know how stubborn she is. She has to believe you,
ghardian
. Please don’t fail her.”
Another long, pain-filled moment hung between them. Marc’s voice was gruff when he spoke. “Why are you doing this?”
He couldn’t lie. “I love her. I want her to be safe and I know you will look after her. I know you care for her.”
“Noble,” murmured the
ghardian
. “Maybe I misjudged you.”
Jared swallowed hard, the countdown hammering inside his head. “Will you give me your word, Lieutenant?”
Marc clasped his arm. “On my honor and by the blood in my veins, I will protect her.”
It would have to be enough.
Lila
I didn’t know how to face Marc. Would he know what I’d done with Jared? Surely he’d see it on my face? I was different now, gloriously, life-affirmingly changed in a way I’d never believed possible. When Jared went outside with Marc, I felt bereft. I tried to listen to Bran, but my mind was elsewhere, whirring in a spiral of fears and doubts, and sparking in random directions.
What were they talking about without me? I turned slightly so I faced the door, my heart pounding and stomach churning as I waited for them to come back.
Waited for Jared
.
“Ms. Cammell.
Lila
.”
I blinked and dragged my attention back to Bran. “I’m sorry…I missed that.” As I spoke, the door opened and Jared strode in, Marc right behind him. Marc’s face was grim, but Jared flashed me a tiny smile and I had to make do with that. We stood in a loose group, Bran, six of his
ghardians
, Marc and Jared. The discussions continued with detailed meticulous planning of the evening’s escape. I should have been focused on that, but I couldn’t tear myself away from the man standing behind me. I couldn’t concentrate at all, until Jared inched closer and brushed my hip with his fingers. The fleeting touch would have been insignificant to the others, but it grounded me.
Marc shifted in the group, came to stand by my side and ducked to murmur in my ear. “You need to pay attention. It’s nearly time to go.” My
ghardian
and my lover, both standing with me. Would Marc forgive me for running out on him? Would he be sent back to retrieve me? Or even worse, would he be punished for covering the truth and allowing me to escape? The deceit clawed at my chest. There was no clean, easy solution.
I’d imagined that now we had a squadron of
ghardians
in our midst, they’d provide cover for our escape attempt, but Bran was making plans to position them around the hall and outbuildings as part of his mission. A clatter of feet in the corridor drew everyone’s attention, and we all stared as Mischa, the
ghardian
who’d tended us, burst through the door. “Report,” snapped Bran as the soldier saluted him.