Limitless (Journey Series) (11 page)

I stood up and headed towards the
bathroom to take a bath. I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually
bathed and it kind of grossed me out. I really wasn’t sure how Chase was even
still sleeping in the same bed as me. I probably smelled and I had been a total
bitch to him for about the past month. If I were him, I would have moved to the
couch weeks ago.

 I wasn’t really sure how to make
things better between the two of us. Chase, of course, was his typical
sweetheart self, just trying to be there for me and get me anything I needed.
And I guess I was my typical self, by pushing him away.

I soaked in the bath until my fingers
started turning into prunes and the water was ice cold. I dried off, pulling my
wet hair up into a ponytail, and sliding a pair of sweats on. I felt a little
bit more normal, but not by much.

I padded through the quiet house
and was surprised at how clean it was. Tootsie perked up from his spot on the
couch when he heard me, but laid back down when he realized it wasn’t Chase or
Caleb. I guess I couldn’t blame him for ignoring me; I had been doing the same
thing to him and everyone else.

 Chase really had been doing a good
job, when I couldn’t manage. Caleb had gone to visit Roy over the holidays, and
although it killed me to have him gone, it was the best thing for him. Besides,
I’m sure Roy loved having Caleb around for the holidays; they were always more
fun with kids.

I opened up the fridge when my stomach
grumbled and pulled out a bottle of water. My appetite had been pretty
nonexistent and Chase was constantly getting on me about eating like a bird. I
grabbed a few crackers and headed back to the bedroom, but stopped when the
artwork in the living room caught my eye.

Caleb must have done it as a
Christmas present. There was an oversized drawing that I could instantly tell
was his handiwork, and about a million different stick figures crammed onto the
piece of paper. Each oddly shaped figure was labeled by name in Chase’s
handwriting. A small smile curved up my lips when I saw who was all in the
picture that was titled, “My Family.”

 Everyone was in there from me,
Chase, Roy, all of Chase’s family, Ally, Remy, and even Teddy. Teddy wasn’t the
best with kids, but he and Caleb seemed to get along for some reason, really
well to the point it was almost disturbing. I really didn’t want any of Teddy’s
ways rubbing off on my sweet, innocent Caleb. If he turned out just like Chase,
I would be happy.

 I swiped a tear that had rolled
down my cheek. I suddenly felt a whole new guilt for pushing everyone away when
they were just trying to help me, but I hadn’t seen in that way. I set the
picture back down where Chase had it displayed in a glass picture frame and headed
back towards the bedroom.

Maybe it was time to start moving
on. I knew I couldn’t be depressed for the rest of my life. Everyone would get
fed up with me eventually. I needed to start living again.

Of course, all of those thoughts
flew right out the window the minute I turned the TV on and every channel
seemed to have a baby on it. The waterworks started up right away again and I
couldn’t control it. I slumped back into my depression quickly, pulling the
covers over my head and trying to block out the images of those sweet, smiling babies.
I would never have those memories from the baby that I had lost. I was never
given the chance.

Chase

“Mr. O’Neil, the case against you
has been closed. I apologize that it took so long, but what with the holiday
break, it just ended up that way. We had several witnesses come forward,
stating that they overheard Ms. Taylor bragging about setting you up.
Apparently, she had the whole thing planned out and when we brought her down to
the office with our claims, she confessed to the whole thing.” Principal Mowry
pushed his glasses up as he looked down at the papers in front of him. For the
first time in a while, I felt some sort of happiness. Finally, I could put this
mess behind me.

“We apologize that it had to come
to this. You’re a bright young man and you’re students seem to love you. I
assume Ms. Taylor was looking for some sort of attention. Her parents have been
made well aware of the situation. We also thought it would be a good idea if
she were to be switched into another English class, it just seems necessary.” I
blew out a breath and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants.

 Pretty necessary indeed.

 I was surprised it hadn’t happened
sooner and I was glad I wouldn’t have to be dodging her wandering hands any
longer.

“Thank you, Mr. Mowry. I’m glad we
can finally put this situation behind us and I can focus more on my job.” I
stood to shake his hand, and let out another woosh of air when I shut the door
behind me.

 Hopefully, that would be the last
time I was in the principal’s office. That was finally over, now if I could
just make some progress with my wife, life would be golden.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket
when I hopped in my truck to leave for the day. I grinned when I saw it was
Teddy. I hadn’t heard from him and Mark much since they had left for their
tour, but when I did, they sounded like they were having an awesome time out on
the road.

“Hey dude, what’s going on?”

“O’Neil!” he yelled into the phone
over what sounded like instruments being tuned. I couldn’t lie, I missed
holding a guitar in my hands almost every day, and I was definitely jealous of
the guys. If I was still into songwriting, I would have an album by now with
the shit that had been going on in my life lately.  

“Hey Teddy, haven’t heard from you
in a while. Everything going good out there?”

“Yup, more than good. Fantastic.
Amazing. Awesome. Indescribable.” Okay, if I had to label how Teddy sounded
right then, he almost sounded…gleeful? Definitely strange. Normally, he was
more of a laid-back type of guy. Not much excited him.

 “But listen, I only have a minute
before rehearsal. I was wondering if you could make it out to Vegas in a couple
of weeks. We have a concert coming up and I figured it would be sweet if you
could come out. What do you think?”

“I don’t know bud, you know I would
love to, but Leah…Leah’s still not herself. I haven’t even been able to get her
to leave the house. Do you think she would really agree to go cross country?”

He blew out a breath through the
phone. “Sorry that I haven’t been there bud, you know I would if I could. I’m
sure it’s hard that you had to go through this mostly alone. At least you have
your mom around to help out; she’s such a great lady.” I pulled the phone away
from ear, checking the caller id to make sure I was really talking to Teddy
Sampson. The same Teddy Sampson who had a tally for how many women he had
‘banged’ on his headboard.

“Maybe you just need to kidnap her
ass. Drug her coffee or something and drag that wife of yours onto a plane. She
just needs a reality check, dude. Whatever you need to do, I want you here.”
And there was the Teddy I was looking for.

“I’ll see what I can do Ted, I’ll
let you know.” We hung up after a couple more minutes of catching up. I pulled
into the driveway, preparing myself to have a talk with Leah tonight. We
couldn’t keep living this way. Caleb was staying at my mom’s house for the
night, so he wouldn’t have to be around to hear it.

“Leah,” I called out as soon as I
walked through the front door, but of course I didn’t get a response. The house
was dark and quiet, like usual when Caleb wasn’t around. I pushed open the door
to our bedroom and found her curled up in her usual spot.

Even depressed as hell, she was
still the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. Her messy curls peeked
out from the covers that were pulled up to her chin and her dark lashes fanned
against her smooth dark skin.

Her eyes popped open the second I
slid on the bed next to her. She stared at me for one second, like she wanted
to say something, but quickly looked away. Her wide gray eyes were what had
changed most. Instead of being bright and alive, they were cold and lifeless,
devoid of any emotions.

“We need to talk.” I rubbed a hand
down her back through the thick comforter and she shivered slightly. At least I
knew I still had some kind of effect on her.

“Chase, I’m really not in the mood.
Can’t it wait till tomorrow?”

“No, it can’t, Leah. Because I know
exactly what will happen, when I bring it up tomorrow you’ll just push it off
again and the next day you’ll do the same thing. Do you really like being like
this?” I waved my hands around the dark room that depressed me after a minute
of being in the room. She probably hadn’t left it all day.

“I know what you went through, what
you’re going through, is hard, but I think you need help. We both need help on
how to deal with this in a healthy way and you know damn well this isn’t
healthy.”

“Chase, I just don’t feel like
trying. You don’t understand…”

“Stop, Leah. You’re going to hear
me out. No arguing.” I had barely ever raised my voice to her, but this time I
couldn’t control it. She was like talking to a brick wall. “I think we both
need to go to counseling. Katie said it helped her when she went through…when
she went through the same experience. The doctor had suggested it before.

“Really, I didn’t think we would
need it, but now I do. You barely talk to anyone, you don’t eat, and you lay in
bed all day. Think of what you’re putting Caleb through. He needs his mom
around. Do you really want him to go through life without a mom to raise him
like you had to?”

She didn’t respond to anything I
said and I stood up to pace the floor. “Leah, I can’t keep going on like this.
I know you’re hurt and so am I, but sometimes shit happens in life. I’m sorry
if that’s a bad way to put it, but I don’t know how else to say it. We can
either let it eat us alive or move on. So I think you need to decide what you
want, Leah.

“Are you going to lay here lifeless
for the rest of your life or are you going to do something to change it?
Because everyone around you is living, life is going on without you whether you
like it or not.” I knew my words were a bit harsh, but maybe that’s what she
needed right now. Nothing else seemed to work.

She still didn’t say anything and I
looked down to make sure she was still awake. Her gray eyes were wide, yet
dull, like everything I had said meant nothing. Just like always, but this time
I couldn’t take it anymore. Being constantly ignored had gotten to me.

“God damnit, Leah! You’re driving
me fuckin’ insane. I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’ve tried so hard and
you aren’t doing a damn thing. I’m done.” My fist rammed into the frame of the
door and I winced as soon as I made contact.

I heard a small gasp escape her
lips, but I couldn’t look back. Not this time. I slammed the front door shut
behind me and peeled out of the driveway, my hands shaking the whole time, with
the pent up anger that was trying to escape.

I pulled into my mom’s driveway a
little bit calmer. The short drive over had relaxed me somewhat, if that was
even possible. Now that a little bit of the anger had left me, I felt guilty
for leaving her, but maybe this is what she needed.

 A good dose of reality.

 I knew I could never really leave
her, she was the love of my life and I couldn’t live without her.

“Chase, honey, what are you doing
here?” The door opened as soon as I stepped onto the porch and my mom poked her
head out. I looked around the living room and only saw Chris who gave me a
brief wave, before burying his head back into his architectural magazine.

“All the little ones are upstairs
playing. Now would you like to tell me what you’re doing here and why you look
like you’re in a very bad mood?” My mom, all five feet of her, stood with her
hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed at me. I hadn’t gotten that look very
often growing up, I had been a little spoiled since I had been the only boy,
but I knew that look meant business.

“It’s Leah, I just don’t know what
to do anymore, Mom. I tried talking to her about what Katie suggested and she
didn’t breathe a word to me. Not one damn word. I got upset with her and left. What
should I do, Mom? I’m definitely in need of some of your advice right about
now.”

“Oh, Chase.” She sat down and
patted the empty spot next to her. “I know how hard this has been on the both
of you, especially Leah. Right now, she needs time, but I know you’re worried
about her. You should be.

“I think you made the right choice
tonight by leaving before you did or said something you regretted. You need a
good night’s worth of sleep and then tomorrow you should address the situation
again with a clear and calm mind. You know I support you one hundred percent in
anything you do. We all love Leah and only want what’s best, honey.”

I nodded my head and swallowed
thickly after hearing what my mom had to say. She always had the perfect words.
“Thanks Mom, I think you’re right. I’m going to run up and check on Caleb and
then turn in for the night. Maybe Leah will see things a little more clearly
tomorrow.” I stood up and kissed her on the forehead, before jogging up the
stairs. I knew Leah needed time, but I think she needed a little guidance. It
truly would be the best thing for her and our relationship.

Leah

I ran to the front door when I
heard it slam shut so hard it caused the windows to rattle, and watched as
Chase peeled out of the driveway. I couldn’t believe he had actually left me. I
had never heard him so angry before and I could see why he left. I was mad at
myself.

 It was my entire fault.

I walked through the empty house,
flicking all of the lights on as I went through. It was eerily quiet and I
couldn’t stand it. I walked back into our bedroom and looked at the bed,
dreading having to go to sleep tonight without Chase. I hadn’t let him touch
me, but still knowing he was there was comforting.