Limitless (Journey Series) (13 page)

I pulled on a pair of shorts and
opened up the bedroom door, on the search for Leah. When I smelled something
cooking, I immediately ran into the kitchen, sure that something was on fire.
Instead, I found an even more shocking sight.

 My wife, looking sexy as hell in
one of my T-shirts, just reaching passed the curve of her ass, leaning over the
stove cooking breakfast. If last night hadn’t baffled the shit out of me
enough, this was really sending my head into a whirlwind, but I wasn’t going to
mess anything up. My lips were sealed.

I pulled out a mug and poured
myself a cup of coffee before sliding out a barstool and watching Leah while
she cooked. I swear she was purposely bending over more than necessary just for
my benefit. I bit on my lip to keep a laugh from escaping. If she wanted to put
on a show, I was all for it.

“Here you go.” She set down a plate
that was piled high and then sat down a matching one in the spot next to mine.
If I had known sex would make her feel better, I would’ve tried it a lot
sooner.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” She
paused in between mouthfuls of food and looked at me. I hadn’t even lifted my
fork yet, I was actually in awe of my wife eating. How fucked up was that?

“Yeah, baby. Just glad to see you
eating something more than crackers. This all looks great.” We ate our late
breakfast in silence until Leah’s phone rang from the bedroom and she got up
briefly to answer it.

I took the opportunity to rinse my
plate and call my mom to check up on Caleb. I told her about Leah’s change of
mood, even though I wasn’t going to tell her why she had such a change of mood.
She was happy and relieved to hear about it, but suggested that I still brought
up counseling. I knew I had to, but I really didn’t want to piss her off when
she was in such a good mood.

Leah quietly walked back into the
kitchen and sat next to me, but pushed her half-eaten plate away, staring down
at the counter silently.

“Not hungry anymore?” I grabbed her
plate when she shook her head no and rinsed it before setting it into the
dishwasher. “I just talked to my mom, I told her I would come to pick up Caleb
in about an hour. Do you think you want to go with me?” She shook her head
again, this time not even looking at me. Apparently, something was up. I knew
sex really couldn’t solve everything, but I hoped it helped a little bit.

“Leah, what’s wrong? I thought we
were making a little bit of progress. You can’t stay in the house forever.
Everyone misses you. It’s not healthy.” I leaned my arms against the counter
and she finally looked up, biting her lip nervously and her eyes went wider
than usual.

“Chase, I need to tell you
something.”

“What is it baby? Just talk to me.
We can work through whatever you have to say, just as long as you keep talking
to me and don’t shut me out anymore.”

She took a deep breath, bringing
her hands onto the counter and wrapping them around each other until they were
turning white. “I went out last night. After you left, I just...I just couldn’t
be here any longer. The house felt so empty, I had to get out of here. I went
to Gino’s and sat at the bar. I ordered a drink, and then another, and
another.” 

I crossed my arms over my chest,
but didn’t say anything when she looked up at me nervously. I already didn’t
like where this was going, but I didn’t want to give her any kind of
opportunity to shut down again. I needed to try to keep my cool.

“So, this guy sat down next to me
and we got to talking. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was
following him out to the parking lot. I’m not going to try to blame this on the
alcohol at all Chase, but just know that I had a lot to drink. I knew in my
head what I was doing was wrong, but I just felt so alone.”

A pang of guilt flashed through me
when I heard her say she felt alone, but that wasn’t any excuse. We were
married and although we hadn’t had much interaction lately, I still expected
her to act that way. I had tried to there for her, but she wouldn’t let me. I
could feel the anger building up in my chest, at the thought of some other guy
with his hands on
my
wife, but I tried to push it down as best as I
could.

“So what exactly happened, Leah?” I
bit out through clenched teeth, even though I was sure I didn’t want to hear
it.

“Nothing, Chase, I swear. Other
than a little bit of kissing.” I cringed when she said it. I guess it was
better than her having sex with someone else, but still, just the thought of it
made me sick to my stomach, especially after what we had done just a little
while ago, and she hadn’t mentioned anything.

 “But that’s it, I promise. I don’t
remember much, but that was Gino who just called. Apparently, he came out to
the parking lot and saw me pushing the guy away. I don’t think he was doing
anything against my will, I just realized what I was doing was wrong and it
wasn’t with you. Gino stepped in and he brought me home last night. One of the
other waitresses drove my car home for me.”

“So, you’re saying you willingly
went out there with this guy, Leah?  A complete stranger? What if something had
happened to you before Gino came out?” She visibly cringed when I said it, but
I didn’t care. Her head was a mess right now, but just thinking of another guys
lips on her made me sick to my stomach. And then to think that she had to push
him away. What would have happened if she hadn’t? Or Gino didn’t come out to
step in?

“Chase, I don’t-”

“Don’t, Leah.” I pinched the bridge
of my nose, trying to relieve some of the headache I could feel coming on. “I
just need a minute. Please, you at least owe me that.”

She looked down sheepishly. I could
tell she was ashamed of what she had done, but I was happy it hadn’t gone any
further at least. I looked away when I saw the tears start to roll down her
face.

I always told her how beautiful she
looked, even when she cried. Her thick eyelashes, always tended to mash
together in to tiny black clumps and mat against her cheeks, and her gray eyes
always shined brighter. But I couldn’t think about that right now.

“We’re going to counseling, whether
you like it or not,” I demanded. She didn’t even look up to argue with me.
“Luckily, this was all that happened. Not that I like to think about some other
guys lips on yours, but what if it had went further, Leah?”

“I don’t think I would have let it,
Chase. You mean so much to me; I just don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t
happen again, I swear. And I’ll go to counseling, anything you want me to do,
I’ll do it.”

“Well you’re going to have to prove
to me that you’re willing to let people help you then. Get dressed, we’re going
to pick up Caleb.” I walked into the bedroom without looking back, pulled on a
shirt and grabbed my keys. Leah silently followed behind me, pulling on
clothes, and trailed out behind me to the truck.

I was still pissed and I think she
could tell. I didn’t know how long it would take me to let go of this anger
that I felt inside, but if she was willing to go along with what I wanted, I
think we could make things work. Maybe someday things would go back to normal
and we could have our fairytale life that we both deserved.

“I’ll call to make an appointment
first thing Monday. Oh and by the way we’re going to Vegas in two weeks,
whether I have to drag your ass there or not.”

Leah

I guessed if it would make Chase
happy, I would go to counseling. It couldn’t hurt anything, maybe it would
actually help. I peeked at Chase as he drove to his mom’s house. I could see
that he was working his jaw, something he did when he tried to stay in control.
I could only guess how upset he was, I was upset with myself. Upset enough to
where, really, I would do anything he asked right now.

He pulled into the driveway and
slammed the door shut behind him, not even looking back at me once. I opened up
the door slowly. I was a little uncomfortable about being back at Mary and
Chris’s house. I had avoided them and everyone else for the past month. I
wasn’t sure what all Chase had told Mary, so I didn’t know what to expect. Most
of the time, he told her just about everything.

I don’t know why I thought Mary
would be anything but comforting. The minute I stepped onto the porch, she
rushed out and wrapped me in a warm hug. Her hugs always smelled like cinnamon and
cookies, and I breathed in the scent, instantly feeling relaxed.

“So good to see you, Leah. I take
it the talk with Chase went well?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Good, dear. I know how hard all of
this has been. Just know that I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I
know that son of my mine has a soft heart, especially when it comes to you, but
he can also be a little stubborn sometimes. I know you can be too, that’s probably
why you two are so good together, but it can make things a little difficult.”

“Thanks, Mary. And thanks for being
so understanding. I was a little worried that you would think I was being a
bitch. I know I haven’t been easy to deal with, but I’m trying. Chase wants to
try counseling and I’m willing to give it a shot.”

“Leah, we would never think that of
you. Never. Now enough of this depressing talk, let’s go inside. Caleb has been
asking about you since he got here. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you out and
about.”

As soon as I stepped inside, Caleb
let out a screech and flew into my arms. I squeezed him tight, realizing how
much I had missed having him in my arms. He was growing up, and didn’t like to
cuddle as much as when he was a baby, so I should be cherishing these little
moments. He pulled back and looked at me with those deep brown eyes. “Feeling
better, Mommy?”

“I’m getting there, buddy. You make
me feel so much better. Are you ready to go home?”

Chase came to stand behind Caleb
and I saw a brief hint of a smile directed towards me. Just that little gesture
from him made me tingly, but I knew we wouldn’t be close to that point again
for a while.

                                                                                      
*********

“So, how do you think that went?”
Chase tucked his hands in his dress pants, following me closely as I walked out
of the doctor’s office. I had just completed my first counseling session.  The
appointment had started with the both of us.

I think it was good for me to hear Chase’s
struggles with this whole experience. I knew he had been shaken up, but I
hadn’t even bothered thinking about his feelings. Instead, he had to deal with
me, while he was trying to heal too.

He left after the first half of the
appointment to wait in the waiting room. It was nice to have someone to talk to
that wasn’t involved in our lives. Friends and family were always nice to talk
to and have around, but I think to have someone that was removed from the
situation would really help me.

“I think it went good. Thanks for
making me come.”

“No problem, baby.” He dropped a
kiss on the top of my forehead and deposited me at my car. We had drove
separately since he had to go back to finish out classes for the second half of
the day. Just the simple kiss had me smiling. He hadn’t been cruel to me the
past week, but he definitely hadn’t been the normal Chase that I married who
could barely keep his hands off me.

“I’ll see you later tonight,
alright?” He shut my door for me once I was settled in the car and I watched
him as he walked back to his truck. I was glad he seemed to be happier. I was
sure that having the whole mess cleared up at school had lifted a great deal of
stress off  his shoulders. He hadn’t told me about it right away and I felt
guilty that it hadn’t been brought up sooner. I knew how much he loved his job
and I could tell that he, once again, enjoyed going there every day.

“Hey honey, how did it go?” Mary
greeted me when I walked into the house. She and Belle had come over for the
few hours I was gone to hang out with Caleb.

“Pretty well, it seemed to help
Chase too. How was Caleb?”

Oh, perfect as usual. He and Belle
are playing in his room. He’s trying to convince her to play cars and she’s
trying to talk him into a tea party. It’s a wonder they play so well together.”

I laughed when I peeked into
Caleb’s room. Belle had somehow gotten a dress on him, even though he didn’t
look for happy about it. Even Tootsie looked to have gotten in on the action
with a pink tiara sitting on top of his head.

Chase had definitely made sure
Caleb was a man’s man. I had overheard him talking to Roy one time, telling him
if he ever bought Caleb a pink toy, he would burn it.

“Hey buddy, how’s it going in
here?”

“Mommy!” He ran towards me,
stripping off the dress as he came, and wrapped me in a hug. According to
Chase, he was in a much better mood now that I was around more often. I didn’t
even stop to think how my actions had been affecting him.

“Hi, Leah.” Belle came over to give
me a small side hug and I kissed her on the cheek. “Caleb doesn’t ever want to
play what I wanna play. Do you want to have a tea party?”

“Of course, sweetie.” We spent the
next couple of hours playing with every girly thing she had brought along.
Eventually, Caleb lost his patience and joined Mary in the kitchen, where I’m
sure she was cooking or baking something. By the time we were finished, I had a
tiara, makeup that made me look like a clown, and so much tea and my cookies in
my stomach, I’m sure if it was real, I would’ve exploded.

“Hey, what are you two up to?” I
turned my head as soon as I heard Chase’s voice call from the doorway and smiled
when I saw him. He had already stripped out of his work clothes and was leaning
against the frame, with a hand above his head, in nothing but a pair of black
athletic shorts. I licked my lips when I saw those tight muscles that rippled
in his stomach. Was it bad that I was practically salivating like a dog over my
own husband?