Linda Ford (19 page)

And something more. Something that pinched the back of her heart with unspoken yearnings, impossible hopes. Something that made her wish she could be different. That she could be the person he needed her to be.

What did she mean by that? Who or what did she think he needed? She tried to make sense of her thoughts but Roper shifted his gaze back to the children and she decided she was simply confused, her equilibrium upset because of the uncle’s arrival.

Daisy and Neil silently consulted each other again. Then Daisy nodded. “Tell him we’re ready.”

The Mountie rose and positioned his hat on his head. He didn’t immediately leave. “I think you’ll like the man. I know I do.” With that he departed.

Cassie stared after him.

Her life was about to take a sharp turn. She couldn’t imagine what lay around the corner.

* * *

A few minutes later, Cassie watched the man accompanying the Mountie across the yard. He bore a startling likeness to Billy. Or rather, she supposed, Billy looked like him. He had a gentle expression but Cassie wasn’t about to trust first impressions. Sure the Mountie liked him but the Mountie wasn’t a child about to be at the mercy of the man’s moods. No, she would be observing him closely. If she saw even the faintest sign the uncle would be cruel and unreasonable, she would offer the children a home with her, whether or not Roper intended to continue with their plan for a businesslike marriage.

“I’ll be watching him,” Roper murmured close to her ear.

“Me, too,” she whispered.

The pair of men drew to a halt before the table.

“Children,” the Mountie said, his hat in his hands, “this is your uncle Jack.”

The uncle removed a fine woolen cap. His hair was white and thinning. His skin pale and translucent with a thousand tiny wrinkles. Cassie tried not to stare but the man looked old. And thin. Whoever provided his meals needed to be more generous.

The Mountie nodded toward Cassie and Roper. “May I present Jack Munro.” Then he introduced Roper and Cassie to the man. “They’ve been caring for the children since they arrived in this neck of the woods.”

Jack spared them a glance. “I owe you a debt of gratitude.” He smiled at the children. “Daisy, I remember you when you were no bigger than this.” He indicated Billy who pressed to Daisy’s side. “You were much like Pansy. And Neil, you were only a baby. Billy, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting you before.” One by one, he greeted them and shook their hands.

The children murmured a response, obviously overwhelmed.

So far the man seemed friendly, Cassie acknowledged. Would he be so after a few days of dealing with children who needed more than a roof over their heads? And certainly more to eat than this man appeared to consume.

Cassie pushed to her feet. “I’ll make tea.” When Daisy rose to help, she shook her head. “You stay and visit.”

Roper gave her a little nod. He wasn’t going anywhere until he saw how this visit went.

She ducked into the privacy of the shack, and while the kettle boiled she put cookies on a plate and she prayed.

Oh, God. Let this man be kind. And if he isn’t, help us see it before he whisks them away.
Though she wondered what she could hope to do about it. It would likely prove futile to fight against the uncle’s claim to the children.

She would not think how any decision either way would affect her future. She would only think of the children and what was best for them.

The kettle whistled. She poured the boiling water over the tea leaves and put the pot, the plate of cookies and cups enough for everyone on a tray and carried it out.

Uncle Jack was telling the children that he lived alone—“Apart from my housekeeper,” he said—in an apartment in Toronto.

A city man. Cassie knew it shouldn’t matter but she couldn’t imagine the children living in such surroundings.

Jack asked each child what they liked. The children answered politely, loosening up a bit over tea and cookies.

Cassie glanced over her shoulder toward the shack. She needed to prepare a meal before half a dozen hungry men descended on them.

Roper understood why she kept fidgeting. “Why don’t we go down by the river to talk so Cassie can get at her cooking?”

“I’ll help,” Daisy said, jumping to her feet.

“No, you go with your uncle and the others.” Cassie shifted her gaze to Roper. “I’ll manage on my own.” She hoped he understood she wanted him to go, too. Surely he’d notice if there was anything amiss.

He nodded, and led them away to the sandy bank where they often went, and she turned her attention toward meal preparations, even though part of her followed the others down the bank. She would like to be able to observe from some hidden spot without the uncle’s knowledge. Almost always, unkind, cruel things happened in secret places out of the public eye.

Memories flooded her mind. Times when she knew if she revealed the pain across her shoulders where Grandfather had strapped her, she would get more of the same when they were back home. Occasions when visitors commented on how fortunate she and Mother were to have such a kind benefactor. How she’d struggled to answer sweetly and falsely.

She didn’t hear Roper return until he spoke.

“They are having a good cry in Uncle Jack’s arms.”

She spun toward him. “You left them alone?”

“Constable Allen is with them.” He leaned closer. “Are you crying?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then what is this?” He caught a tear with his fingertips.

“Nothing.” She turned away as anger and sorrow and pain crowded close.

“Oh, sweet, sweet Cassie.”

The compassion in his voice threatened to unlock the dam of tears. It was something she didn’t want to happen. But when he caught her shoulders and turned her about, she could not refuse the invitation of his comforting arms.

“What has upset you so?”

She couldn’t speak past the knot in her throat.

He patted her shoulder and rubbed her back.

Oh, how she’d missed the comfort of his friendship. “I’m afraid.” She could go no further.

He waited, as if he understood there was more.

“He could pretend to be kind and good while there are others around.”

Roper nodded, his chin gently bumping against the top of her head. “He said he wouldn’t take the children right away. It will give us time to assess him. Besides, both Daisy and Neil are being cautious. They intend to protect the younger ones.”

“Who will protect
them?
”

Roper edged her back so he could look into her face. “I think he is a good man but we will make sure they know they can contact us if they ever need to.”

She nodded. “I have never heard from my mother.”

“I know. Perhaps you will one day, though.”

She clung to his steadying look and sucked in a cleansing breath. Then she straightened. “Maybe I worry too much.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Could be because you remember what happened to you.”

“I will never forget.”

“But maybe one day you’ll be able to leave it behind.”

She bristled. “What do you mean?”

He brushed her cheek, his touch soothing, calming. “Nothing, sweet Cassie. Nothing at all. Now what can I do to help?”

The table needed setting. The meat needed slicing. He did both while she tended the vegetables and iced a cake.

When they took the food out to the table, half a dozen men waited, including Lane. He watched Cassie’s every move. He said something about the weather but she barely heard him as she tried to listen for any sound from the river. Were the children okay?

She sent Roper a desperate glance and he smiled encouragingly. As they passed each other, he murmured, “Relax, the Mountie is with them.”

As soon as the meal ended, she left the dishes and hurried to the river.

The children clustered about their uncle Jack, talking eagerly. He seemed demonstrative, reaching out to touch one of the children on the head, squeeze a shoulder and smile encouragement.

Cassie’s throat tightened. She was only beginning to understand how much affection such touches offered and realized how much she’d been deprived of as a child. Her gaze sought and found Roper—a man who freely offered such gestures. Roper turned, caught her look, read something in it she meant to hide and smiled softly.

She jerked away returning her attention to the children and their uncle. Jack turned toward her. He looked weary, no doubt exhausted from his travels and the emotion of seeing his orphaned nieces and nephews. She allowed herself a bit of sympathy but on the other hand, when a person was tired, they often lacked the strength to pretend. It was a good chance to observe him and gauge his true attitude toward the children.

The Mountie was sprawled out, his hat over his face. So much for someone watching the children. But the man lifted the brim of his hat, peeked out to check on their arrival then resumed his stance.

Everything appeared fine but she wasn’t ready to believe appearances.

A little later, she served a family meal, the table more crowded than usual with both the Mountie and Uncle Jack in attendance.

The Mountie sauntered off after a slice of cake. Uncle Jack said he wanted to spend a few days with the children before they made any changes so Roper invited him to camp with him.

“Thank you. I’m very weary. Do you mind if I retire immediately?”

“Of course not. Come along. I’ll show you.” Roper led the way to his camp.

Cassie stared after them as the children clustered around her.

“He seems nice.” Neil’s words sounded tentative.

“He says I look like Mama.” Daisy sounded as if nothing else mattered.

Pansy lifted her arms to Cassie and Cassie hugged the little one close. She’d grown to love all of them. How would she survive without them?

Why was everything she cared about snatched from her?

Daisy sighed. “I guess we might as well go to bed.” She headed for the shack. The boys followed without arguing.

Cassie helped prepare Pansy for the night, delighting in the way Pansy lifted her face to be washed and how she had to unfurl each chubby finger to wash it. She wouldn’t get many more opportunities to enjoy this.

Daisy wriggled between her blankets. “Cassie, did you like my uncle?”

Cassie scrambled to think how to answer. The children needed to face their future with strength and optimism, yet they also needed to know they had alternatives if things didn’t turn out well. “He seems nice enough but I think it’s too soon for me to make any firm assessments.”

Daisy nodded. “That’s kind of what I think, too.” She turned to Neil and Billy. “We need to remember what Cassie told us about not giving our uncle any reason to regret giving us a home. That means no arguments, no punching each other and be quick to do whatever chores there are.”

Both boys nodded.

Cassie regretted her words on the matter. If they acted naturally, being rowdy and argumentative at times, she’d get a chance to see how Jack reacted. But it was too late to change things. She kissed the children goodnight.

It was too early to go to bed and her mind was in too much turmoil for her to expect sleep to come so she went outside.

Roper sat at the table and without hesitation she went to his side. Their plans for a marriage no longer existed. She would soon be alone, but for tonight she would allow herself this bit of comfort and she rested her shoulder against him. “I wish I could keep them.”

He touched her hand. “Me, too, but this is the best for them. He’s their uncle. He knows their history.” His voice grew soft and she saw that he stared into space. “It’s important to know who you are.”

“And yet I wish I could forget.”

His attention jerked back to her. “Do you? Do you really want to forget your mother and father?”

She instantly repented of her words. “Never.”

“Then you understand how important it is for the youngsters to hold on to what is left of their family.”

She nodded slowly. Yes, she knew it was for the best. “We’ve done well together, though.”

When Roper didn’t answer she turned to study him. Deep lines gouged his face. His mouth drew back in a fierce scowl.

She’d seldom seen him without a smile. “Roper? What’s wrong? Didn’t you say this was best for the children?”

He nodded, his gaze fixed on a spot in the table. “They deserve family.” The words ground out as if every letter scratched his throat. He jolted to his feet like he’d been shot from a cannon. “They are fortunate to have an uncle who wants them.” He headed toward the river and paused. “Good night.”

She stared after him long after he disappeared. He’d never acted so strangely. Did it hurt him so much to know the children were leaving?

An ache the size of all her tomorrows grabbed her gut and she groaned. The children would leave with their uncle. Their business agreement ended, Roper would leave, too.

She would get the independence she wanted.

Shouldn’t she be rejoicing?

Chapter Fourteen

R
oper had done his best to reassure Cassie that Jack was to be trusted but as he lay on his bedroll under the stars he strained to make out the words as Jack tossed and turned and talked in his sleep. But he could make no sense of the mumbling.

The man was older than Roper had pictured but that didn’t automatically make him unsuitable. Constable Allen assured him Jack’s credentials were flawless.

“He’s a well-respected businessman. My superior in Toronto says he’s a fair man with a healthy bank account.”

Roper had no bank account. He wasn’t any sort of businessman. Most of all, he had no claim to the children. But despite his words to Cassie he wished the man had not come.

How was he to say goodbye to the children?

His plans for marriage to Cassie ended with the uncle’s arrival.

He would continue on as a cowboy with no family ties—empty and alone.

It was a familiar position for him. He would make the best of it as he’d always done. But would he be happy?

Next morning, he was up early, impatient to be at work finishing the house. He knew Cassie would refuse help once the children left so he meant to get as much as possible done in whatever time he had.

Jack staggered from the tent, pale as butter and shaking.

“Are you okay?”

Jack nodded. “I’ll be fine as soon as I have coffee.”

“Cassie will have it ready when we get there.” He’d normally have been at breakfast before now but had waited for Jack.

The other man washed at the river, shivering at the coldness of the water then they climbed slowly to the top of the hill.

The children watched their approach, caution filling their eyes.

“Good morning, Uncle Jack,” Daisy called. She nudged the boys and they added their greeting.

Jack paused, breathing hard. “Good morning, children.” He made it to the table and collapsed on the bench, letting out a weak sigh. “I’m not used to sleeping on the ground.”

Roper studied the man. He looked worse than when he went to bed. Cassie watched him, too, and she and Roper exchanged glances. Was the man up to caring for four children? Of course, he wouldn’t have to do it personally. He could doubtlessly afford a nanny.

But after two cups of coffee, Jack seemed to revive. He asked to be shown around.

“Go ahead,” Cassie said in response to Daisy’s questioning glance.

“I’ll be back to help with dishes,” the girl promised.

Cassie waited until they were out of earshot then gathered up the dishes. “Daisy will soon enough be gone. I can manage on my own.”

Roper could point out that she wouldn’t be feeding and washing up after six or seven. Only herself.

It sounded mighty lonely and unnecessary.

After they’d eaten the noon meal, Jack said he’d like to have a nap. Daisy tucked Pansy into bed, then hovered about the house where Roper and Neil worked. Roper considered the girl. “You look worried.”

Billy sidled up to his sister. “She doesn’t want to go.”

“Billy!” Daisy grabbed the boy and shook him gently.

“You can pretend you do, but I don’t. I like it here.” He confronted Roper. “Why can’t we stay?”

Roper put his hammer down on the window frame, using the time to gather his thoughts. He must ignore his own feelings. Not let them know that he wanted them to stay as much as Billy said he did. They had a future with their uncle that was likely full of all kinds of good things. Somehow he had to convince them of it.

He sat on the doorsill and waved them to join him. They crowded together. For a minute he let himself enjoy the way they sighed and pressed tight to each other. They expected words of strength and understanding from him. He uttered a quick prayer for wisdom then began to speak.

“You all know I was raised in an orphanage. I never knew who my father and mother were. Yet I was happy. Not everyone was, though. I remember when the Trout children came to the orphanage. You kind of remind me of them. There were four of them and they were so scared. The oldest one was a girl so she had to go to the girls’ side. The others were boys so they were separated from their sister. It was really hard on the girl, Judy. She told me time and again that if she could be with her brothers and keep caring for them she would feel so much better. You see, she’d promised her mama to always watch out for them.”

He paused to look into each intent face.

“What happened to them?” Billy asked, worry lines furrowing his forehead.

“Well, Judy grew up. She was offered a job working for a nice family.”

Daisy gasped. “She had to leave her brothers?”

“She could have. That’s what was expected.” Roper let the words sink in. “But Judy had never forgotten her promise to her mother and she begged the matron to let her stay. Said she would do anything—cook, clean, help teach.”

All three watched him with eyes wide. He guessed they had all forgotten to breathe.

“Did the matron—” Neil couldn’t complete his question.

“The matron was very understanding. She let Judy stay, and then her oldest brother was big enough to go out to work. Last I heard Judy and Mike had made a home for their two younger brothers and they were all together.”

The tension eased from the three children. Daisy and Neil exchanged a look.

“We’ll be together,” Neil said.

“And soon we’ll be grown up.”

Billy jumped up. “And then you’ll bring us back here and we can live with Roper and Cassie.”

Daisy laughed. “We won’t have to live with anyone then.”

Billy plunked down again and sat with his chin in his hands. “I want to live with them.”

Roper gave them a big hug. “Let’s promise to keep in touch.”

“We will,” Daisy said, and with that they all had to be content.

Roper returned to his work, Neil at his side.

“I hope we’ll be happy,” Neil said.

“You can learn to be no matter what.”

For the first time he didn’t believe it. Not even for himself. His only hope of family gone, he would have to fight to be happy after the children left.

He crossed the floor and pretended an interest in the door frame for Cassie’s room.

He couldn’t imagine returning to his solitary life.

No children.

No Cassie.

A groan tore from his throat.

Neil rushed over. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“Just a pinch. I’m fine.” This pinch was internal and he wondered if he’d ever be fine again.

Roper concentrated all his thoughts and energy on finishing the house. Later in the afternoon, he glanced up as a familiar voice came across the yard.

Lane.

Roper had seen how Lane resented competing with Cassie’s distraction over the children yesterday and wondered if he’d return. But he was there, a look of determination branded on his face. To his credit he did not come early but neither did he leave when the meal was over. Instead, he followed Cassie around as she worked, doing everything on her own as Daisy and the children had gone to the river to visit with their uncle.

Roper was torn between accompanying them and staying behind to keep an eye on Lane.

He tipped his head toward the river but the children were quiet. No doubt Uncle Jack lacked the energy to play any sort of active game with them. The man still seemed rather peaked in Roper’s opinion.

He brought his attention back to Lane’s lingering presence. He wanted to tell the man to leave but Cassie had made it clear she would be the one to tell him if she so desired. Obviously she didn’t mind his attention.

Roper ground about on his heel and stalked back to the house. He couldn’t abide to watch them together.

Yet he seemed to find himself at the window at every turn.

Lane hovered at her side as she washed dishes. Roper stared at Lane’s back. Didn’t the man see the tea towel and the dishes needing to be dried? Apparently not. Instead, he constantly got under foot forcing Cassie to take extra steps.

Any minute now she would reach the end of her patience and suggest he take himself on home.

The man twisted his hat in his fingers and said something that brought Cassie up short. Roper wished he could see her face but she had her back toward him.

Lane smiled. Rather uncertainly, Roper thought. Or was it just hope? And then as he watched, Lane lowered his head.

Roper lurched closer to the window. It looked for all the world like Lane meant to kiss Cassie. Surely now she would step back. Tell him to be on his way.

But she didn’t move so much as an inch. She allowed Lane to kiss her right on the mouth. Did Lane linger? Sure seemed like he did.

Roper ground his teeth together. He should never have left the pair alone. Should have been there to protect Cassie.

He narrowed his eyes. Cassie didn’t slap the man. Didn’t even seem upset. She sort of hung her head, all shy and uncertain.

The wind felt as if it were sucked from his insides, leaving him weak as a newborn kitten. He leaned against the wall.

Seems Cassie didn’t need or want his protection.

He grabbed his forgotten hammer and returned to his work. He’d constructed a frame for her bed, built a table and benches for the house. The heavier table and benches they’d been using he meant to leave outside to use in pleasant weather. He’d also put shelves up for her to store things on, built bins and more shelves in the cellar. Tomorrow, as soon as the stove cooled, he’d get it moved inside. That left him time to do a couple of extra things that he’d been planning.

He would do them for Cassie and expect nothing in return but her happiness, and if that meant giving Lane the right to kiss her...

He had nothing to offer her but the work of his hands. No fine home. No parents and brothers. No history. Not even a name. He’d always known he could never be part of a family. It shouldn’t surprise him that this attempt was no different.

That night, for the first time since he and Cassie had started this business agreement, he could hardly wait for the evening to come to an end so he could retire to his camp.

Jack accompanied him. The man was full of talk about his plans for the future with the children. “I know how much my sister loved them. Even as I loved her. I’ll do everything in my power, God helping me, to raise them like she would want.” The man choked and couldn’t go on.

Cassie needn’t worry about the children. They were going to a good home. He’d give her this last bit of assurance tomorrow.

The next day was a repeat of the previous one except Jack looked even more worn out and chose to spend most of the day sitting. Cassie suggested the children play near their uncle.

Roper followed her to the shack, helping return the food and dishes.

Cassie planted her hands on the worktable and leaned over as if consumed by pain. “I’m going to miss them,” she said, her voice thick.

“Me, too.” He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her. But shouldn’t he leave that to Lane?

“I hope and pray they’ll be okay.” A sob ripped from her throat.

Lane wasn’t here and he was, so he opened his arms and pulled her to his chest. “Jack is a good man. I believe he’ll give them the sort of home that neither you nor I knew.”

She eased back to look into his face. “I never thought of it before but we do share that.”

And so many other things. Long talks in the dusk. Laughter and play with the children. The work they’d both contributed to getting this house and business built. And a few hugs and kisses. He couldn’t say what they’d meant to Cassie—and he wouldn’t admit they meant the world to him.

He withdrew his arms and backed away. “Let the stove cool so I can get it moved.” Without one glance backward, he returned to the house where he put the final touches in place. He’d added an unnecessary detail he hoped would give her sweet enjoyment.

He stood back to assess his work. The place was pleasant. He hoped she’d enjoy many hours of happiness here.

He had only two things left to do—dig the garden, which he would do before he left, and put in the stove. By noon he had that in place.

Only then did he open the door and wave Cassie inside. He’d asked Jack and the children to give them a moment alone.

She stepped across the threshold and her eyes and mouth widened with pleasure. “My own place.” The way she clasped her hands together at her throat was enough thanks for Roper. Walking around the house, she examined each detail. Her gaze lighted on the little extra he’d added, a tiny shelf next to the stove and the pretty vase he’d found in the depths of Macpherson’s store. He couldn’t help wonder what she thought of the meager collection of wildflowers he’d stuck in the vase but if she liked flowers so much, he thought she should at least have a nice place and a nice vase for them. Even if, after this, he wasn’t to be the one to bring them to her.

He planted a hand to his chest to stop the pain and sucked in air to calm his inner turmoil. It hurt to give up his plans even to a fine dude like Lane.

She continued her inspection of the house. She tried the door to her bedroom. Then came full circle back to face him. “Thank you so much. I feel like I owe you something for this.”

“It was part of our agreement. There is no owing.”
No owing for my work or my friendship.

She nodded, uncertainty erasing her pleasure.

He heard her silent question. Now what?

“We did well together, didn’t we?” He wondered if she heard the uncertainty and longing in his voice or did it exist only in his heart?

She smiled into his eyes. “I’d say we did.”

Her agreement eased his tension. “Seems a shame to end a good thing.”

Her smile disappeared and sorrow filled her gaze. “But the children will be leaving soon.”

He hadn’t meant the children. He knew one way to test whether or not she had any interest in continuing their arrangement. “I figure to dig the garden this afternoon.”

She jerked to full attention. “I know you planned to do it for the children’s sake. But that’s no longer necessary. They’re leaving. Our agreement is over.”

“It doesn’t need to be.” He looked intently into her eyes hoping she would see all he meant. That she would understand he didn’t want this to end.