Linda Goodman's Sun Signs (62 page)

Once an Aquarian has chosen a mate, he figures he can concentrate on more important things. He can relax and investigate the boy-girl or man-woman relationship at his own leisure in his own private laboratory (which isn't a bad possibility for its eventual chance of success when you stop to think about it).

Uranian sex is part of a larger image or ideal. Should a temptation to engage in illicit romance arise (illicit in his eyes, that is), he'll usually end the affair abruptly, though it may hurt him deeply, rather than continue what he considers to be a dishonest relationship. The situation that made him feel guilty could be almost anything, from the disapproval of your parents or conflicting religions to an old boy friend not completely discarded, a promise he made to himself at the age of eight, or something he once read in a book. But whatever it is, it will somehow have to be adjusted and resolved before he'll ever renew the closeness, even if the love is as fated as that of Victoria and Albert. The Aquarian will always let his heart break silently, lest his friends hear and ask questions.

He's capable of waiting until he's ninety to claim you, even if you feel that's a bit long to wait for consummation. The worst of it is that he'll never give a reason for the break. That's for him to know and you to find out. He'll perversely let you think it was just a fantasy from the beginning, and hold back the real truth that it was genuine for some hazy future day of forgiveness and reconciliation. It can be pretty cruel, but that's the way he plays the game.

Your only comfort is the knowledge that he's suffering in his own way, too. How will you know that? Read “How to Recognize Aquarius” again. He has his subtle ways of telegraphing his feelings, and they can be enormously frustrating—especially when his unique, private communication signals a green go light while he publicly keeps holding out a red stop light until he's ready to switch. It can make for some nasty romantic traffic snarls. It's hard on the pedestrian, but he's in the driver's seat, so there's not a lot you can do—except perhaps think up another mystery to tempt him with, or maybe shake him a little with some smashing success to make him curious to talk with you again—like being the first woman to orbit Venus.

Not that such a feat will change his feelings. If he really loves you, he'll love you even if you don't orbit any farther than to the corner delicatessen, but it might interfere with his fixed strategy. You may gather from all this that a Uranus man can be pretty stubborn when it comes to love. You would be so right. His fixity in affectionate matters can drive you straight into the booby hatch or drive you to someone else in desperation. That's a big fat waste of time. He's not jealous, remember? Or he won't show it, if he is. Besides, with his darned Uranian intuition, he'll know it's all an act. Because he knows what makes you tick. Don't forget, he studied you for a long time. About the only thing you can do is hope you'll still be attractive at ninety or else start practicing those Venus orbits.

Putting the shoe on the other foot, an Aquarian can arouse a heap of possessiveness in you, when the tables are turned. Don't let it throw you off balance. Thanks to the everlasting Uranus proclivity for friendship, whenever and wherever he finds it, there may be times when you won't know where he is, even after you're married and you should. Just tell yourself that, no matter how late he sits up with a friend, it's only his normal curiosity at work, his never-ending interest in people. If the friend is a woman, pretend you didn't notice. In all honesty, he most likely didn't. You can expect the truth when you ask him a direct question. But if you doubt him and ask again, he'll figure you don't want the truth. To punish you, he'll make up the wildest story he can dream up (and he can dream up some pretty wild ones). You may regret your suspicions when you spend a few hours in abject misery wondering if he really did tell that redhead she was gorgeous. (That's after he told you he didn't even remember talking to her and you said, “Ha! I just bet you don't remember.”) He honestly didn't, but you asked for details, so he gladly obliged with some purely imaginary ones to teach you a lesson. You'll learn fast.

Don't be hurt when he's in one of his solitary moods and prefers to be alone with his silent dreams. He'll return to share them with you, all the more warm and tender for his spiritual retreat and anything that warms him up should definitely be encouraged.

He may not be the best breadwinner around, but he's capable of inventing something beneficial to the world or being the first man to land on Mars. He'll feel right at home there, too. There's always a surprise just around the corner with an Aquarian husband, even when the budget is shaky. Naturally, there are a few Uranian men who are wealthy, even millionaires, but a high income bracket is seldom a burning ambition. All the rich Aquarians you see probably stumbled on it. It's certain they didn't greedily grasp for it. If he has a fat bank book, the chances are it gained weight while he was attempting to improve some product or idea for the good of humanity in general—or he's saved it to support his eccentric old age. Who knows? He might want to take a trip in a time machine someday, and he wants to be sure to have the fare. Most of the time he'll be reasonable about money, but save when you can, and don't run up charge accounts. He'll never recover from sheer extravagance on your part. Sometimes he can surprise you with a burst of generosity, but he won't go overboard, unless he has an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius or Pisces ascendant. Even then, he won't be a big butter and egg man.

The children will find him the greatest listener on the block. He'll be fascinated at the perfect breath control of the wolf when he blew down the three little pigs' pad—and curious about how the old witch pickled the poisoned apple that put the whammy on Snow White. A small boy's trouble learning how to strike a home run and a little girl's tears over a broken doll are simply the problems of a couple of pals in trouble to an Aquarian father. He's a whiz at complicated arithmetic questions, too.

Make sure your career still allows time for romantic dinners and foot massages. Don't encourage your friends to camp on the living room couch or monopolize your time and don't be so engrossed in that sitcom or novel that you neglect to help him find his old softball in the attic or pull a splinter out of his finger. He married you for several reasons. Though romance may play its part, the most important reason was to have you around—so he would always have a partner to play with, eat with, hunt down lost articles with, and who can take care of his wounds. The Aquarius likes an orderly and comfortable home and his idea of a good wife and mother is quite simple: a woman who cares deeply about being a good wife and mother. The Aquarian male is so full of interesting surprises himself, his spouse usually doesn't need television, magazines and tete-à-tetes with friends to keep her mind and emotions challenged.

Strangely, since he's so realistic about most things, the Aquarian will never forget his first love. (Not the first date, but the first girl who ever gave him a rainbow. There's a difference.) Uranians frequently marry childhood sweethearts years later, or cling to a faded illusion. Aquarians can usually describe their first loves in detail, which can be annoying to a spouse. The solution is to be that first love. You may have to wait a long time to wear orange blossoms, but at least you won't be replaced by a ghost. Who else could turn peanuts into emeralds or vice versa, never mind a little grapefruit juice in the eye? Despite his general romantic clumsiness, he can come up with sudden phrases which could only have been invented by the angels. He can forget your wedding anniversary, but he'll bring you violets in January. Christmas? Who says it has to be on December 25th? It can be any time you want it to be. He may go for days or weeks or months without a single word of romance or affection. Then some morning while you're slicing his blueberry pie, he'll look deep into your eyes and ask gently, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” There will be something about the way he says it that will make your knees weak.

Jingle bells on the seashore, birthdays at dawn, Valentine's Day on Halloween, rainbows at midnight. Pin a red heart on an orange pumpkin, roll Easter eggs in the snow, light the candles on the cake on top of a Ferris wheel—you're in love with an Aquarian, didn't you know? I wish you a Walt Disney ending. But be careful. You can get lost out there in Wonderland.

The safest way to enter into romance with an Aquarian female is to remember she's as paradoxical in love as she is in everything else. That way, you won't be expecting Priscilla Alden and get Pocahontas.

This woman has all the faithfulness of the fixed signs when she's in love, but she also has the detachment and lack of emotion of the air element. It's possible to have a happy relationship with the Uranus woman, if you leave her free to pursue her myriad interests and circulate among her friends. Never try to tie her to the stove or the bedpost. Ask the man who's tried. She can suddenly decide to study ballet, meditate in the mountains or join the Peace Corps. Remember the story of the princess with the long, golden hair, who lived high in a tower? That's the Aquarius female. Cutting off her flowing tresses won't change her, any more than it did in the fairy tale. She dreams different dreams than you or I. She hears a distant drummer—and follows a star most of us have never seen.

She belongs to everyone, and yet to no one. Her love can be tender and inspired, but there will always be a vaguely elusive quality about it, like a half-remembered song. You can hum the melody, but the lyrics keep slipping away. The Aquarian female's demand for freedom is insistent, but her allegiance to anyone who can accept romance within such limits is boundless. Here's something you'll like: She won't be terribly interested in your net worth (unless Cancer or Capricorn or Taurus is on her ascendant). Money is never the prime consideration of the typical Aquarian woman. She won't care if you're not the richest man in town, but she'll expect you to be respected in some way for your intellectual achievements. Dr. Frederick Banting and his discovery of insulin for diabetes or high-tech entrepreneur Bill Gates interest her far more than Warren Buffett and his billions.

When you set out to catch this butterfly in your net, remember that she'll never spend her unpredictable life with a man who isn't true to himself. Her own code of ethics may be as weird as anything you've ever come across, and quite different from the accepted codes of society, but she lives up to it totally. She'll understand that your rules may also be highly individual. That's fine with her, but don't compromise those rules. If you're looking for a passion flower, you've picked the wrong daisy. Passion is not her forte, if she's a typical Aquarian. She'll think physical love is pleasant enough, if it's not overemphasized. In other words, she can take it or leave it alone. Uranus females can respond to lovemaking with a haunting, deep intensity, but if you prefer to keep it platonic for long periods of time, that's all right, too. Like all Aquarians, she may have an unconscious fear that desire for one person will imprison the spirit in some way, and keep her from being true to her one great love—freedom. Freedom to experiment and investigate and freedom to give time to humanity. Also freedom to pursue her rather kicky, offbeat fancies.

She's an ideal partner if you're planning a political, scientific or educational career. You couldn't do better, unless you happen to run across an Aquarian woman with adverse planetary positions in her natal chart, who enjoys shocking people by dying her hair pink or smoking cigars. There are some pretty wild, way-out Uranian females here and there. But the average female born under the sign of the water bearer is a social delight. She's graceful, witty, bright as a penny, and extremely adaptable to all forms of society, high and low and in the middle.

Her lack of suspicion under normal circumstances is a special bonus. A traveling salesman should find his dream girl in the typical Aquarian female. If she actually catches you being unfaithful, it will cause a deep wound to her sensitive nature. You'll know it the minute you look into those strange, dreamy eyes. But she won't suspect you without cause, and she'll rarely doubt your word. The typical Uranus woman will never check up on you after you leave, phone you at the office, inspect your handkerchiefs for lipstick stains or look for blonde hairs caught in your cuff link. Deception will have to be brought forcibly to her attention; she won't go out looking for it. Before you give her too much credit, consider that her lack of passionate jealousy is due to something more than strength of character. First of all, she probably dissected your psyche under a microscope before she gave you a second glance. Besides, she has so many outside interests and so many people who turn her on to talk with, there's not much time for her to worry about what you're doing when you're out of sight. Out of sight can often mean out of mind for Aquarians of both sexes. Absence seldom makes the Uranus heart grow fonder. Occasionally, an Aquarian woman will suffer a promiscuous or flirtatious mate, because there's something she needs which she can find only with him, so she looks the other way. On the other hand, if she doesn't really need you, that moral strength will work in reverse at the first actual proof of infidelity. She'll simply walk away. Don't try to kindle the embers, they're stone cold dead. Of course, you can still be friends. Why not? She's willing. It never embarrasses an Aquarian female to be chummy with ex-lovers or husbands. She's forgotten the past and wiped the slate clean of memories.