Lockdown (AM13 Outbreak Series) (13 page)

Chapter

Twenty-Four

The next morning we wake up naked, our bodies entwined with one another. If these were normal circumstances, I would now be rushing to the bathroom to make myself look presentable. I’d be trying to apply as much natural-looking makeup as possible while dragging a brush through my hair. I’d even try and squeeze in a quick shower, and I’d definitely brush my teeth. I’d also be analysing every tiny detail from last night in my mind. I’d be worrying that I’d said something dumb, or acted stupid at any time. Most of all I’d be trying to work out whether it was just a drunken thing, or if it could turn into more. But this morning, I don’t have any of these options available to me, so instead I just lie there and enjoy the blissful feeling.

I’m suddenly aware that Jake is trying to sit up, but I’m in the way. I move, turning to smile at him, but he looks really sheepish, as if he wants to say something uncomfortable. The contentment zaps straight out of me. I know that expression and the conversation that follows it, and it certainly isn’t wedding planning. I know I have no right to be pissed off, I mean we aren’t exactly in a position to discuss a relationship, considering we have no idea what could happen tomorrow, or even in five minutes. I just can’t help feeling a bit used. I throw my clothes on and mumble incoherently that I’m going to search for anything we can use today. My face is flaming red and I don’t want him to see, so I race out into the back and out of his view.

That’s when I notice a rickety door that I’m sure we didn’t look behind yesterday. I guess with it being dark we just didn’t see it. I grab a nearby plank of wood, just in case, and open the door cautiously, desperate to know what lies behind it, and hoping it’s not full of infected. I don’t think a bit of wood is going to be much use to me if there is, but it’s all that I have. Curiosity really could kill the cat here.

“I’ve found a shower,” I yell out to Jake, completely forgetting my embarrassment. “A shower with real live hot running water!” He chases in behind me, obviously unable to trust my words. He gasps in amazement, as if it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. “I’m going in first,” I sing out excitedly. He laughs loudly at my elation. Never in my life have I been so glad to discover a way of washing myself.

I grab shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel and dive in. The steaming water running over my skin makes me feel rejuvenated and much more positive about the journey ahead. I don’t even really care so much about Jake’s behaviour this morning. It could have easily been my own paranoia. I just need to stop taking a negative stance. Things might not be perfect, but we’re both still alive. It may only be a small victory, but it’s a positive thing that I can focus on.

***

Once we’ve both washed and eaten, we become much more smiley and chatty with each other. Any awkwardness from this morning is already completely forgotten. When we pack up to move, we’re doing so with an animated energy that wasn’t there before. Today, we’re ready for it, we’re raring to go.

As Jake finishes off packing, I wander around almost aimlessly under the guise of doing one last check. I find myself in the staff office when a glint of metal peeking out from one of the desk drawers catches my eye. As I step closer, I quickly realise that it’s a gun. I suck some air, stunned. I don’t know what to do with that information. I mean, if I knew how to use a gun, it could be really useful, but I have no idea. I slowly bend down to pick it up, allowing my fingers to curl around the cold metal. I hold it up in front of me, as I’ve seen actors do in films, wondering if it’s an instinctive thing. Nope, it just feels alien in my hands.

“Jake,” I call out, taking my discovery over to him. “Do you think we should bring this with us?”

He takes the gun off me and instantly opens it up, as if this isn’t the first time he’s seen one in real life. “It has some ammo in it. It can only help.”

I furrow my eyebrows as I watch him tuck it into his bag. “Who do you think it belongs to? Why do you think they have it?” Guns just aren’t common in the UK. People would only have one for a reason, surely?

He shrugs, totally disregarding my question before heading outside. As I follow him, the first thing I notice is the warmth. The sun is actually almost shining, which can only be a good sign. Just as I’m about to voice my positivity, we hear a loud scream, followed by shouting and quick footsteps.

Freaking out, I duck behind a car, desperate to keep out of sight. The last time we heard other people, an uninfected man got killed. I don’t want to witness anything like that again. After a few seconds of this racket, Jake pulls me underneath the car beside him. Just as we settle, a bunch of gunshots ring out. I have to force my fist into my mouth to stop myself from screaming.

From where we are, we can see a young guy race into view. He’s screaming, begging, pleading, insisting that he isn’t infected, that he just wants to get home. Whoever he’s trying to tell is still firing at him, so either they can’t hear him, or they’re ignoring his every word.

Eventually he falls to the ground but the shots don’t stop. A man wearing a protective suit that covers every inch of his body walks over to the boy and kicks him before firing one last shot into his head. He then drags the body into the back of a van that’s parked nearby. We remain frozen as we see the van drive away, but not before noticing that it’s a police riot vehicle.

I collapse into sobs—the kind that rack through my entire body. The brutality of that boy’s murder was incredible. He didn’t look much older than Felix, and he definitely did
not
look infected. He had no signs of an attack or anything. I know the police are only doing what they’re instructed to, but that seemed way over the top. That could happen to us so easily. Again I’m sent back to
what the hell were we thinking
? Instead of saying anything, Jake just throws his arm around me and waits for the crying to subside.

When the tears eventually stop, we move out from under the car and start walking. No words are exchanged between us. There’s no need. What can we say? We both know how the other is feeling and we just need to concentrate on getting through this. If we don’t fixate on the end goal, then we’ll never get there.

My eyes don’t leave the ground once. I’m just watching my feet going through the motion of walking, of just going forward. I’m also listening to our steps as we walk in unison. It’s silly, considering constant awareness is really a priority, but the noise is something positive. It represents us moving, getting somewhere.

However, it’s focusing on this that causes me to miss out on something vital. Unfortunately Jake must be distracted too, because by the time we pick up on the squelching, shuffling, and moaning, it’s almost too late. There are seven or eight infected beasts that are almost right upon us.

I take off running, moving faster than I’ve ever gone before. I didn’t realise my legs had so much power in them, which just shows that adrenaline really can cause you to do crazy things. Jake is just ahead of me, but he keeps turning around to check I’m all right. Suddenly my breaths start getting shorter and shorter, and my body begins to feel heavy. I become aware that I can’t keep doing this for too much longer. Luckily the infected are so slow, which gives me a minute to make a decision.

My eyes fixate upon a tree that isn’t too far in the distance. My instincts tell me that I’ll be safe if I climb up it. As Jake is still going strong, showing no sign of lagging, I make the snap choice to just go for it. I pull myself up, and once I’m on a steady branch, too high up for anything to grab me, I call out his name. I know that noise isn’t exactly great in this situation, but I can’t really see how it can get much worse. Jake turns around to see me and I let out a sigh of relief and motion for him to carry on; at least he knows I’m safe. That’s all I wanted to do.

But then he doubles back around and starts running to where I am. What is he doing? I wave my arms and shake my head at him. No, that’s not what I wanted, he needs to save himself. I’m fine where I am, we can sort out a reunion later. He’s just needlessly dashing straight back into danger now. He waves his axe out in front of him, trying to knock a few infected out of the way as he gets closer. They’re starting to surround the tree, the smell of my freshly cleaned skin drawing them in.

He struggles to get past them, fighting his way in. I don’t want this, any of it. I want him to look after himself. I’m biting down on my nails hard, to prevent me from bursting into tears. This is terrible. This is exactly why I didn’t want him to come back to get me. I call out, telling him to go as the infected start to claw at him, pulling on his clothes and scratching his skin. I dangle down my hand, trying to grab him, to help him up.

He reaches out to me, but just as his fingers touch mine, one seems to come from nowhere and chomps down on his neck. He lets out a scream, his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape, and he drifts out of my grip.

A few of them pile on top of him, pulling him to the ground. I can hear his flesh ripping as they tear him to shreds. His organs are pulled out from his stomach and I can see them eating his intestines. He looks up at me, and I can see the agony and panic in his eyes, but I can’t do anything. Much as I want to, it’s too late. I hope he understands that, and can see the desperation in my eyes as his life slips away.

Chapter

Twenty-Five

I can’t move. I can’t speak. I don’t even feel anything, just numb shock. Jake is dead. If I look down I can see his remains, his hair, his clothes, his bones, his blood. So I keep looking forward. Jake, who only last night I was imagining my future with. The man who I’ve lusted after for months at work, which I’ve only just really gotten to know. He’s just gone.

The worst part of it all is the fact that I’ve failed. My one and only mission was to get him to his son. Now he’ll never know what has happened to them, and they’ll never know what happened to him. No, I can’t let that happen. I’m going to
have
to track them down and let them know. I’ll tell them he was absolutely desperate to find them, that he risked his life to do so. They need to know how much he did, and that he died heroically. They have to find out. I don’t want them left thinking that he just vanished without caring. He deserves better than that.

The only problem is, I can’t even move. I’m certain the second I step down from this tree, I’ll die. I already knew I couldn’t do this alone, and now here I am, with no one left to protect me and only myself to rely on. I’m absolutely screwed.

Once the infected finished demolishing Jake, they hung around under the tree for a while, feebly trying to reach for me. I kept silent and unmoving, but I know they could still smell me. Some were distracted by a passing animal—it turns out they
are
eating them—just another little snack for the things that have ruined my life. Eventually a fire broke out in a barn in the next field. I have no idea what caused it, or even what’s going on over there. I don’t care. I’m just glad the chaos drew the rest of
them
away.

I’m aware that if I’m going to move, now is the time. If I wait much longer the infected will be back, and I might not get so lucky with a distraction again. I can get this much through my foggy brain; it’s just hard to be productive when you’re deep within the grieving process. I don’t really want to end up stuck here, starving to death until I drop down into the willing arms of the infected.

Maybe if I just focus on one small task at a time, I might be able to get away from here. That’s what Jake would do. I really don’t think he would want me to just sit here waiting to be rescued by someone who is never coming. He’s the sort of person who would want me to carry on without him. I really should honour that…

Suddenly something just snaps inside me. A blinding blackout rage. Luckily, I don’t scream in temper, the frustration just builds and builds until a tear bursts from my eye. How
dare
this infection be unleashed on the human race? If someone has cooked it up, they deserve to die and go to hell. If the government is behind all this, then they’re more evil than I could have ever imagined. I wonder if it has all gone to plan. If this is what they actually
wanted
to happen. Look at all these people suffering because of AM13. Look at all the lives it has torn apart. Look at everyone it’s killed. If this really was to do with population control, then it’s a fucked up way to achieve it.

God, why did we have to come out here into this? Why didn’t we just keep our conversations and plans hypothetical? Everyone talks the big talk all the time about things they’re going to do—quit their jobs, travel the world, break up with someone—but no one ever acts on it. It’s just talk, and that’s
exactly
the level we should have stayed at. No wonder no one ever does anything, we did and look what’s happened. It’s gone more wrong than I could have ever anticipated.

I use this wave of emotion and do what I need to do. I leap down from the tree, filled with a determination. As I land, I spot Jake’s bag, still intact, on the ground. I grab it, knowing that he has supplies I might need, and if I’m
really
going to do this, then I need to be smart about it. As I swing the bag upwards, a familiar glint catches my eye.
The gun
. I almost weep with the realisation that Jake
could
have done something to save himself, if only he’d had the gun out, in his hand.

My hand trembles as I pull it out to hold myself. It’s not much use to me, I have no idea how to use the damn thing, but after witnessing Jake’s needless death, I’d probably better keep it within my grasp anyway.

Sighing deeply and trying to push away all of the emotions currently consuming me, I force myself to start walking. I move in the opposite direction to the barn, still having absolutely no interest in it. The only thing I
do
hope is that it kills the bastards that murdered Jake.

I keep alongside the road like we had done before, trying to pretend everything is the same, that I’m not more alone than I’ve ever been before in my whole life. I can feel the adrenaline rush from earlier petering out and being replaced by fear. I don’t know how to be decisive, how to figure out where to go and where to sleep. But I’m going to have to. I can’t get stuck inside my head, not anymore. Now there’s only
me
, I’m going to have to come to terms with that.

***

The darkness is starting to set in and I’m so,
so
frightened. All I’ve done is move methodically, but soon it’s going to be too dark and cold for me to carry on. Plus, I’m utterly exhausted—almost to the point where I’m struggling to see. I need to make some sort of choice; I need to find somewhere to rest up, and the sooner, the better. I’ve passed a few houses, but I’ve been too scared to approach them. I’m just not cut out for this sort of life.

Despite knowing that I need to rest, I carry on. I keep going until I can walk no more and the pain in my legs is excruciating. I
have
to stop now; the choice is no longer my own.

I come across a small woodland area with big warning signs at the entrance. My fuzzy, woolly brain is telling me to avoid the place at all costs, but something is drawing me in. I think it’s the possibility that it might actually be safe. The signs are clearly more to do with health and safety than anything else, and since the infected seem to stick to more populated areas, some crazy logic is telling me that this will actually be the best place to go.

I try to creep through the trees as quietly as possible, just to be careful. But the twigs keep snapping and the leaves won’t stop rustling, making me stand out like a sore thumb. I know that it’s very likely I’ll hear any infected before I see them, but I can’t stop worrying that they’ll hear me too.

It’s almost pitch-black now, and I’m finally regretting taking too long to do this. If I’d had Michelle or Jake here, they wouldn’t have let this happen. Neither of them would have made this mistake, which is why it’s so crazy that I’m still here and those two aren’t.

Suddenly I spot a light out in the distance, which must belong to some kind of building. My heart starts racing again at the thought of a possible four walls surrounding me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to decide if this is going to be a good thing or not. What are the chances of me finding something bad in there? I don’t know, but logically I’m going to have to check it out. There’s no point in me avoiding somewhere that
could
provide me with a warmer, safer night, just because I’m afraid.

As I get closer, I realise that it’s quite a big building, almost like the clothing warehouse we stayed at. What sort of business would be based out here? Especially with all of those signs surrounding the place—it’s weird. Maybe it’s drugs. It
must
be something illegal. That doesn’t put me off though. To be honest, after everything I’ve been through, sleeping in a drug den is the least of my worries.

The door swings open easily—almost too easily. I’m very wary, certain that someone or something is about to jump out at me. I grip the gun tightly, holding it upright, waiting for the clarity on how to use it to flood through me, but nothing happens.

Just ahead of me is another door, leading into the main room of the building I guess. I step forward towards it, quieter than I’ve ever moved before. I know I don’t really have to do this part, that I could just sleep in this entrance area, but I’d never be able to stop. I couldn’t relax and shut my eyes, not knowing what was on the other side of that door.

The light streams through as I push the door open slowly. I stand back to observe the scene in front of me, acutely aware of how loud my breathing is. Nothing immediately happens, so I edge forward, popping my head around the door.

The sight that greets me makes it feel like my heart has stopped forever.