Chapter 21
Tanner sat in the SUV, considering what to say to Oakley. His hurtful words had torn into her, leaving her with his anger and resentment as he'd left for the assignment. Now, ten days later, he wondered at her reception. Would she turn her back and walk away, giving up on them completely? Could she find it in her soft heart to forgive him and give him another chance? Or somewhere in between? His own anger receded like flood waters after a heavy storm, allowing him to think rationally and realize his overreaction.
He released a pent-up breath. Blowing up that cocaine lab almost seemed like kid's play compared to finding a way to make things right with Oakley.
Things had looked bleak then, pinned down with gunfire, and nowhere to go. Their limited equipment had demanded they move closer in order to do any damage. He'd made it to the building, set the charges, and watched the west wall and half the south wall crumble. Dozens of armed men had rushed from the newly made hole, shooting as they climbed over debris, using the dust cloud for cover. Just as he'd stared death in the face, the tide had turned in the form of Night and Bugle, two other team members who hadn't been assigned to this task. Not that he'd cared at that moment. Bugle's sniper skills had taken down one tango after another. Night had carried the bigger weapon, launching heavily artillery into the heart of the building, leveling it within seconds.
Their team, though tired and scuffed, had come away none the worse for wear. The illegal drug ring permanently eliminated from one location, no longer able to pollute the minds and bodies of the nation's youth. All in all, not a bad day's work.
Now, he faced another unknown situation: how to repair things with Oakley.
Dozens of potential happenings flew through his mind. He strategically maneuvered through each one, planning what to say and how to respond. He couldn't screw this up. For the first time, he wanted to make this relationship work, wanted to come home to Oakley, see her light up at his appearance, throw her arms around him, and welcome him with enthusiasm.
Hell, because of her, he'd just left a visit with Dr Miller. He still flinched at the idea of therapy, but sitting down with another Marine, discussing similar issues and experiences, he didn't think of it as counseling. More like talking to a fellow comrade, gleaning knowledge from someone who had been there, done that. At least he tried, realizing that he couldn't go on living balls-to-the-wall like before. He longed for an escape from the nightmares and anxiety that came out of nowhere, jacking him up, and crippling him from being an ordinary man. If Dr Miller could show him the road to healing, he would happily jump on the therapy bandwagon.
Tanner stepped out of the vehicle, automatically beeping it locked. Long strides deposited him at his door, where he let himself in and dropped the heavy duffel bag in the vacant living room. As usual, he scooped up the mail, laying it on the dining room table along with his car keys. No sounds came from the shared wall. Not surprising in the least, since Hercules never barked and the building materials buffered everyday sounds well between the two living areas.
He scrubbed his face and sighed.
No time like the present.
Heading out the back door, he glanced around the large backyard. No Oakley. He stepped over to her sliding glass door and softly knocked.
Hercules trotted over, pressing his face to the glass.
"Hi, Herc. Is your owner home?"
No sooner had the words left his mouth than Oakley appeared wearing black running shorts with a pink T-shirt advertising a 5K with the proceeds going to support breast cancer research. He searched her face, watched first relief then caution flash through those expressive emerald eyes.
She flicked the lock on the door, opened it wide, and followed her dog out onto the back porch. Both watched as Hercules headed for his favorite shade tree.
"Hi." He started the conversation, needing to pull her into his arms, but refraining until he found out how much damage his careless words caused.
"Hi." She echoed, watching him closely. "You're home."
He nodded, running fingers through his hair. "Oakley… I shouldn't have…"
She shook her head, cutting through his words. "No. I'm sorry. I overstepped my bounds." Her eyes welled up.
The great sadness expressed on her face twisted his gut and pierced his heart. He could see how much he'd hurt her. Feeling lower than a dung beetle, he tried to explain. "I should never have yelled at you like that, said those things. You tried to help me best you could and for that, I treated you like crap." When she remained silent, he tried again. "I did a lot of thinking these past few days and realized some things. I want this to work between us. I know I was out of line and maybe you were, too. Surely we can put that behind us and see what happens?" He stared intently, looking for the slightest hint of her thoughts.
Oakley sniffed, wiping a tear from her cheek. She met his gaze as she spoke in whispered tones. "I was so afraid that you hated me and I'd never see you again."
"Oh, minx." He opened his arms, feeling a flush of relief when she stepped in, allowing him to hold her close. "Never. Never could I hate you. Not when I love you."
Her breath caught as she pulled back to look up at him, searching his face for a moment before smiling. "I love you, Tanner. I do."
He hugged her tightly, cradling her against his body. For the first time in nearly two weeks, he felt at peace. Oakley did that for him, soothed his demons, and filled his life with the essence of her happiness.
Hercules wedged his large body between them, thumping away with his tail.
Tanner looked down and shook his head. "Jealous." The word came out with an amused chuckle.
Oakley giggled, patting the dog's head. She lifted her gaze to his face. "Want to come inside?"
He nodded, stepping through the door, and into her living room.
Hercules trotted in, heading straight for his mattress and flopping down with a loud dog sigh.
"It's such a rough life." Oakley smiled, watching her pet.
"Yeah." Tanner reached out, cupping her cheek, drawing her attention back to him. He took a few seconds to simply gaze down into those emerald eyes of hers, committing the moment to memory, replacing the stark image of tears flowing down her face with his harsh accusations. Never again did he want to make her cry. Not only did it hurt her, it lanced his heart as well.
Leaning down, he tilted her chin, lining their mouths for a sultry kiss. Her lips parted beneath his, allowing him entrance to explore. He took full advantage, kissing her deeply and thoroughly as if tomorrow would never come. Only when they both gasped for air did he break the embrace, take her hand, and lead her into the bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind them.
* * * *
Oakley stood at the end of the bed, facing Tanner, waiting for him to lead. The rollercoaster ride of emotions left her worn and in need of him, especially after his declaration. Happiness erupted as she replayed his words in her mind. He loved her. As much as she longed to hear those words, she never dared bank upon them. His eyes and tone told her of the sincerity and truth in what he said.
"You know, I'm pretty darn lucky. I have this gorgeous hunk that, for some unknown reason, chose to love me." She purred as he stepped near, grasped her shirt, and jerked it over her head.
Tanner smiled widely, assisting her frantic hands as she hauled upward on the hem of his shirt. "Gorgeous hunk, huh?"
She snorted, tossing his shirt to the floor. "Oh, right. I shouldn't give you a big head. I meant to say 'lowly troll'."
He threw back his head and laughed. "That would make you what? A trollette?"
"Boy, you sure know how to charm a lady." She joined in his laughter, shucking him out of his jeans with eager hands. As he stepped out of the last of his clothes, she hurriedly undressed, soon standing naked before him.
The metal necklace caught her attention. She fingered the dog tags as they rested against his chest. "You still wear these from your Marine days?"
He grinned sheepishly. "Old habit."
Leaning in, she pressed a kiss to the metal, then to his sternum. "But you didn't wear them before."
"No. I don't wear them all the time when at home, but always on missions."
"Like a good luck charm?" She continued to brush her lips over his skin.
He shrugged. "I told Spoon if I didn't make it, to give my tags to you." The quiet words carried across the room.
Oakley looked up at him in surprise. "You did?"
He nodded, taking her hand in his, lifting and rotating until he could kiss her palm. "I wanted you to remember me. To know…"
"Yes?" She held her breath.
His eyes closed for a beat before opening once more. Deep brown orbs stared at her intently, serious and steady. "To know that I love you."
Oakley heard the whispered words. Relief relaxed her tense muscles, easing her shoulders. She smiled while taking his hand and mirrored his caress. "I love you, Tanner."
"Can you forgive me?"
"I forgave you the next morning. All I could think about was how I screwed up the best thing that ever happened in my life and was so afraid I would never have the chance to tell you how I feel."
He matched her grin. "I kept thinking the same thing."
"So what do we do now?" she inquired, glancing up through her eyelashes in a coy flirtation.
His eyes sparkled. "Oh, I'm sure we can figure out something." He tugged her snugly against his body, leaning down to mesh their mouths in an easy kiss that soon heated.
Pushing against his chest, Oakley forced enough space to wiggle out of his embrace.
Tanner frowned down at her. "What is it?"
She shot him a wicked grin. "I forgot something. Be right back." She trotted out of the room, heading straight for the kitchen. Opening a cupboard, she found the item she sought, grabbed a couple of kitchen towels, and then headed back. Walking back in the room, she held up the container for Tanner's approval.
A slow smile appeared on his face and his brown eyes sparkled.
When he reached for the chocolate syrup, she shook her head. "Nope. I believe we decided I could be the licker and you, the lickee."
He chuckled, holding his arms out to his sides in a gesture of truce. "I'm all yours."
Her heart sang with the declaration.
Epilogue
Oakley stood at the entrance to the university library's conference room with Tanner by her side. All morning he'd paced; tension and apprehension rode him hard. He soaked up her support and encouragement, set his back teeth, and made an appearance as he'd promised.
A month ago, she'd posed the idea to both Dr Miller and Tanner to get what remained of Tanner's former Marine team together, let them see one another again, talk, and work out some of their demons together, with Dr Miller there for guidance. Tanner had initially balked, but she'd quickly explained how meeting with Sarah truly helped, easing her guilt and shining a new light, illuminating facts she'd never seen before. Dr Miller had agreed, leaving the final decision to Tanner and the other surviving members of his team.
After some deliberation, Tanner had agreed, accepting the initiator role of the operation, tossing out names and searching for recent locations and contact information on the computer. He'd torn into the task like a thirsty man lost in the desert who stumbled across an oasis. Daily, he'd watched for emails, made phone calls, and pulled his former comrades together with sheer will and persuasion.
Oakley had assisted as she could, setting up the meeting time and reserving the room. She'd made sure the small coffee shop area would be open on the Saturday morning, giving the wives and girlfriends a place to hang out, get to know one another, and talk through their own issues while the men spent all the time they wanted together.
Dr Miller had explained that the men should be alone as their conversations would be personal and private. In the best situation, the men would open up about their feelings and issues, something they might not be inclined to do with their significant others around. Men, especially former Marines, liked to keep a strong front, never appearing weak or vulnerable to loved ones. It was just in their genes and attitude. In counseling, they needed to put down that shield and let the festering of unhealed wounds flow out, allowing healing to take place.
Oakley respected the psychologist's wisdom. After all, he personally understood what those men had been through and had many years of specializing in post-traumatic stress syndrome. If anyone could get through to Tanner or any of the others that needed help, it would be Dr Miller.
Tanner scrubbed his hand through his hair, staring at the closed door. He squeezed Oakley's hand. "Here goes nothing."
She smiled up at him, standing on tiptoe to brush her lips across his. "Go play nice with others."
He smiled, a promise of retribution sparkled in his brown eyes. Paybacks of a sinful, naughty nature, and she couldn't wait.
She remained in place until he stepped into the room, letting the door close in his wake before walking down the hall to the informal study area with a small coffee vendor in the center.
A handful of women sat around a large circular table, sipping coffee. They didn't have the typical student appearance, making Oakley believe they were linked to Tanner's comrades. Nervously, she approached, eyeing an empty seat. "Are you ladies here for the get-together with Dr Miller?"
"Yes," a couple answered. Another nodded.
Oakley smiled. "Hi. I'm Oakley. Loco's fiancé."
* * * *
Three hours later, a handful of men meandered into the sitting area, striding toward them. The women looked up, smiles replacing lines of apprehension and worry.
Tanner led the group, sauntering up to Oakley, pulling her up from her seat and into his embrace. His lips covered hers in a long kiss before putting space between them.
Oakley noticed others did the same, each man touching and embracing his woman. Wide smiles covered all their faces. For the first time that morning, immense relief flowed over her. It couldn't be that easy, but from their expressions and behavior, the session proved beneficial.
A shorter but stout blond man spoke up. "Damn. Leave these women alone for a few hours together and what do you know? They've been plotting."
Oakley chuckled. He was right. The women began talking about their men and their inherent worry about deeply buried issues that only a counselor could address. After declaring they knew the best course of action for their men, they quickly scheduled another meeting time, promising to drag the men along, kicking and screaming if need be. From the shared looks among the men, she interpreted most wouldn't need to be dragged. Instead, they would eagerly agree to the women's plans.
Tanner quickly did the introductions, gesturing to each man as he went. In turn, the men pointed out their loved one next to their side. In all, five couples attended along with two single men.
Another two men bowed out, but Oakley held high hopes they would change their minds in the near future.
After a while longer, the group began to dissipate, each going their own way but promising to keep in touch.
Oakley leaned against Tanner's side as he watched them go, his arm solid around her waist. "So, how'd it go?"
He looked down at her, a smile on his face. "Tough, hard, nauseating, frustrating, and a pain in the ass."
She shook her head. "Tell me how you really feel."
A chuckle escaped from his throat. "You were right about the Wizard."
"The Wizard?" She tilted her head in confusion.
"Dr Miller. That's the name for a counselor in the Marines."
"Oh. I see. Now what was I right about?"
They began walking toward the exit, arms wrapped around one another.
Tanner released a long sigh. "He pointed out some things to me… us. The guys, none of them blamed me." His breathless words matched the disbelief written on his face. "They feel the guilt, just like I do. I never thought…"
"That someone else might be walking in your same shoes?" Oakley finished for him.
"Yeah. I thought it was just me."
She hugged him with the one arm. "Thank you for doing this."
"Doc gave us some things to think about. Even assigned us homework." He pouted like a kid not allowed to eat all his Halloween candy the first night.
"Didn't I mention he was a slave driver?" Oakley teased, her heart light and filled with joy at the outcome of the first workshop.
"Yeah." He opened the door, ushering her before him into the summer heat.
Oakley paused to wait for him. "If you get your homework done, then you can have some playtime." She fluttered her lashes coyly at him.
He laughed, patting her rear. "Now that is a damn good motivator."
Oakley sighed, fingering the engagement ring on her left hand. Tanner had proposed two days earlier, romantically bending to one knee right in her living room. The event stuck in her mind for what it meant as well as for what happened during. Poor Tanner tried his darndest to say all the right words. Hercules thought it was a new game, bounding over to knock Tanner flat on his back, sitting on top of him with a proud, open-mouthed doggie smile on his face, like he did a great deed, king of the hill so to speak. Tanner grumbled while Oakley cracked up. When Tanner finally managed to push the dog off and sit up, Oakley threw herself in his arms, accepting with exuberance.
A month ago she'd never believed a man would enter her life, a man she could trust and learn to love, accepting her past with her as a total package. Now, she walked to the car with Tanner, her fiancé, her love, and a hero to boot. Happiness didn't begin to describe how she felt with him by her side. Together, they lived each day to the fullest, reveled in their love, and strived to pull his former team together, helping them all deal with the past and excise those demons once and for all.
She had no doubts they would succeed, as some fairytales do come to life, happy endings and all.
The End