really fascinated by the language and was trying to teach it to himself.”
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“I’ll start tracking Karsonov down, see where he’s been lately. Where’s Gev? Is he with
you?”
“No.” Lee didn’t exactly want to admit he was spying on Gev, but…well, he was. “He’s at
his parents’ house. I think he wants to confront his mom about the journal.”
“Does he know about Mr. K?” she demanded.
“Yeah, of course; it’s right in there.”
“Did you tell him—”
“Yeah,” Lee said. “I did. I asked him to call and tell you, but he didn’t.”
“All right. Where are you?”
Lee laughed humorlessly. “Down the block from the house, sitting in a rental and trying
not to look like a stalker.”
“Good. Hold on. I’ll be back in a second.”
Lee rubbed his forehead, closing his eyes and wondering how the heck all this was going
to keep from blowing up horribly.
It didn’t take long for Ramirez to return. “Lee?”
He straightened in the seat. “Yeah?”
“I’ve got my people working on the Karsonov angle. I want you to go to Gev; stay with
him.”
“Why?” he asked, not wanting to tell her Gev had all but kicked him out of his life. She
didn’t know about them, and he had no interest in telling her either.
“Because I didn’t know you two were apart. I thought you were sticking together.”
Oh. “Well, we were, until…” He sighed.
“Wait, hold on. I’ll call right back again. Don’t move from where you are.”
“Detect—” But she’d hung up on him. He set his phone down, then picked up the journal
printout and flipped through it. He hadn’t read all of it—hadn’t been sure he wanted to—but now
that he was alone, and the afternoon was waning, and he sure as hell didn’t want to interrupt
Gev, he began to read the first part, the early times with him and Stef.
It punched him in the gut to know that Gev—and, presumably, Nina and their mom—had
read this. He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead again. Definitely getting a headache. He
realized he hadn’t eaten all day except a few bites of the burger, which had grown cold and
disgusting. No wonder Irini hated him; he’d fooled around with her son, and she knew all the
details. And as the older boy… He could imagine what she thought
wasn’t
written in the journal.
Must’ve assumed he’d been the one to lead Stefan to the dark side, as Nick jokingly called it.
The dark but fun side.
It hadn’t been like that, though. It had been Stefan who had charmed him, made him feel
wanted when no one else ever had. He’d been lonely as hell, with a drunk for a mother and a dad
who wouldn’t even answer his calls.
He’d loved Stef—so bright and beautiful, talkative and smart.
Everyone
loved him. Lee
could see why Gev felt so overshadowed by his brother, even after Stef’s supposed death. Stef
had been the kind of person who devoured those closest to him, inhaling them and turning them
into his worshipers, overshadowing everyone else.
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181
Lee too had worshiped Stefan, would’ve done anything for him. And had. He remembered
how scared he’d been the first time he kissed Stefan, unconvinced that it would be okay,
knowing his dad would find out. He’d sworn his dad would look at him and know that he and
Stef had done the things they’d done and hate him for it. And yet, he hadn’t stopped. Being with
Stef was intoxicating, and Lee had become what Stef wanted.
Thinking back now, as he watched Gev disappear into the house—which made him curse;
he’d hoped Gev would get back in Drew’s car and leave—he realized that was the huge
difference between Gev and his brother. Whereas Stefan had drained Lee completely until he
was no more than a shadow to Stefan’s radiance, Gev made him feel empowered and strong,
made him want to be a better person, to be Gev’s equal. His partner, in every sense of the word.
The realization washed over him, clearing his thoughts and his resolve. As he turned it over in
his mind, he knew it was the truth.
And he needed to convince Gev.
Every last bit of anger-generated adrenaline had left Gev by the time he and Nina opened
the door to the workroom. Their mother sat on the couch, reading a book, a cup of coffee beside
her. Their dad was in the back, singing along to the radio as he worked on whatever he was
building. Gev caught Nina’s eyes and knew the pain and regret in them were reflected in his
own.
It stunned him how quickly he’d changed his tune.
“Gev! Nina?” his mom said, putting down her book. Her smile was tentative, cautious, and
Gev realized with a pang that that was how she had always looked at him. Like it hurt to see him.
And yet, for the first time, he realized his assumption that she resented him for being alive and
Stefan dead was false. Which left him wondering what in the hell she thought when she looked at
him like that. She never looked at Nina that way.
“Hey, Mom,” Nina said.
The singing but not the music stopped in the back, and their dad walked out, sandpaper and
a piece of wood in his hand. “What’s up?”
A surge of love for him hit Gev right then. He hoped their dad didn’t know. Even though it
would hurt him, Gev hoped he’d never known about the journal. It was bad enough that their
mom did.
“We have something we need to discuss,” Gev said, surprised his voice sounded so even.
“What is it?”
“Dad, I—” Dammit, now that the moment was here, he didn’t know how to spit it out. The
look on his dad’s face… He couldn’t do it. Nina gave him an encouraging look. “We found out
something you guys have to know about. It’s about Stefan.”
He was watching his mom, saw the horror flash across her face, the way she paled. His dad
set aside his project. “Explain, son. What are you talking about?”
Gev hesitated, then pulled the journal from his back pocket. “This.”
His mom’s face crumpled, her hand flew to her mouth, and she sat back hard on the couch.
“
No
.”
“Why were you hiding this?”
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Carolyn Gray
“What is that?” his dad said, and Gev felt a surge of relief—his dad hadn’t known about
the journal. He moved toward his mom, reaching for that anger, that hate, but it wasn’t there,
only a deep, hollow sadness. And maybe that was good. Maybe that was right, the right way to
be.
Nina spoke before he could. “It’s Stefan’s journal, Dad.”
His mother had started to shake. “Who—Who did you tell?” she asked hoarsely.
“Irini, what’s going on here? Stefan’s journal?” His dad took it from Gev’s hand, flipped it
open, and stared at their mom. “Where did you get this?”
“I found it in his room.”
“Why didn’t you tell the police? Why didn’t you tell
anyone
?”
Gev took a step back as his father asked the questions Gev had wanted to hurl into her face
not an hour before.
“I couldn’t,” she said, agonized. “If I had—”
A new voice filled the room from the workshop doorway. “I would’ve killed your son;
that’s why.” Gev turned around to stare at a man he didn’t recognize. Or did he? The stranger
looked at Gev, sending a sick chill through him. “
That
son, to be specific.”
His mother bolted to her feet. Gev stumbled as his dad whipped around and shoved Gev
protectively behind him. Nina grabbed their mom and pulled her back.
“Who the hell are you?” his father demanded.
The stranger wasn’t a big man, but he looked strong, like a laborer used to hauling things.
Stronger than Gev—and his dad. But it was his face, his eyes—
And Gev knew. “You’re Mr. Karsonov. From Stef’s journal. You’re—”
“That’s right.” The man revealed disturbingly white, perfect teeth. His eyes screwed up,
squinting, malicious, and when he put a hand into his jacket and pulled out a gun, Gev knew they
were in deep shit. “I’m Stef’s father.”
His dad still had a grip on Gev, and now it tightened. He feared his bones would snap. Gev
knew now. Karsonov was the one who had killed Chad and Curtis.
With that gun
. He was the
one who had tried to run Gev over, had been responsible for the explosions at the ballet studio.
He was the one who had ruined Gev’s life—
all
their lives—by taking Stefan.
“You bastard.” Gev pushed away from his dad. “You fucking
bastard
.”
His dad’s shout, his mother’s cry, Nina’s scream—none of it stopped him, not even the
gun now wavering at him. He hurled himself at Karsonov’s gun arm, knocking it aside. A shot
rang out, the bullet hitting a chair inches away. Karsonov yanked out of Gev’s grip and swung
the gun toward Gev’s head. Gev started to duck, but the hit was hard enough to send him reeling.
He tumbled to the ground; the back of his head smacked the wall.
“Gev!” his mother screamed. “Don’t hurt him. Please. Haven’t you hurt us all enough?”
Dazed and dizzy, his stomach reeling, Gev tried to pull himself to a stand. Karsonov
pointed the gun at Gev’s dad when he started to move to Gev’s side. “You next? I won’t miss
this time.” Karsonov shifted closer to Gev and toed him with a boot. “Or should I put your pretty
little ballet boy’s career on permanent hold?”
Hot blood trickled down the side of Gev’s face. He fought to calm himself, to think.
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183
“Leave him alone,” his mother demanded. “Don’t hurt my son,” she said. Nina gripped her
hands.
“Your son.” Karsonov snorted. “He looks like you, Frank—butt ugly.”
“Don’t—”
“Ah-ah. Shut up. Go sit down with your wife. Or I
will
hurt your son.” Karsonov sneered.
“Your
only
son.”
“Pyotr, no,” his mother said.
“Don’t call me that!” he shouted, making her cringe. Karsonov leered at her reaction.
“What, you never told him? You never told your precious Frank that Stefan wasn’t his?”
His mother sobbed. Nina gasped, her gaze catching Gev’s. He straightened against the
wall, his head clearer now, maybe from the shock. Stefan was Karsonov’s son? His mother had
had a kid before she’d married his dad? Gev stared at her, saw the truth in her horrified eyes. She
looked at him, shame reddening her face.
Why hadn’t she told them? That must be what Stefan had meant: “She lied to me.” He’d
found out the truth, learned his life was a lie.
They had to get out of this. Somehow. Karsonov wasn’t going to let them go. Maybe…
Maybe if he could get his cell phone out, hit 911… He eased his hand toward his pocket.
Karsonov was so intent on tearing Gev’s father apart, he didn’t notice Gev pulling out the phone.
Nina did, though. Gev got his fingers on the keypad and hoped to hell he was hitting the right
numbers, wincing as the stupid keys made noise. He was glad he didn’t have a touch phone. This
would never have worked.
“Frank, I’m sor—”
“It’s all right, Irini,” his dad said, his gaze on his wife. “I knew.”
Gev flinched. He knew? Karsonov started to turn to him, but Nina, her face pale, leaped
up. “You’re lying!” she yelled at Karsonov, waving her arms. Crazy woman, Gev thought
gratefully. He looked down at his cell and hit Send, hoping to hell that whoever answered didn’t
start talking so loudly Karsonov would hear.
“Don’t worry, Nina,” his dad said.
“Frank. You knew?” his mom said, standing now.
“I always knew.” His dad smiled sadly. “I loved you. I knew you were scared of him and
wanted to get away any way you could. That didn’t matter to me. I loved Stefan as much as I do
Gev and Nina.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I never thought he’d find us. I made a mistake, a
terrible mistake. I’m sorry. I should’ve told the police.” His gaze was firm on his wife. “We both
should have told them.”
The haunted look on his mother’s face slammed Gev in the gut. But the look on
Karsonov’s face scared the hell out of him. “Shut the fuck up, both of you,” Karsonov
demanded, pushing Frank. Gev’s dad came back at Karsonov, who was ready for it and, with a
chillingly single-minded calm, pulled the trigger and shot him. Frank hit the floor with a hard jolt
and lay still, a patch of red blooming on his shoulder. “Frank!” his mother yelled. When
Karsonov had his attention on her, Gev leaped to his feet and hurled himself toward Karsonov.
But Karsonov saw him coming. He grabbed Nina off the couch by her arm and yanked her
against his chest. She cried out, and Karsonov’s huge hand wrapped around her throat, cutting
her off.
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Carolyn Gray
Gev stopped, panting, horrified, his mother sobbing, his dad unconscious and maybe dying
on the floor.
“Don’t move, Gev. Unless you’d like to be an only child.”
“Stefan’s alive,” Gev said.
His mom gasped. “He’s here? Stef’s here?”
The hopeful look on her face made Gev falter. But this time for a different reason. It was
all too clear why she had done what she’d done. Stef’s birth father was a cruel bastard. Gev
didn’t want to think about what the man might have done to her. And to Stefan. He stared at