Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight (52 page)
Read Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight Online
Authors: Peter Walsh
Clothes that represent the way you wish you were.
Some of these items are clothes that have specific memories, dreams, or wishes attached to them. It's the fraternity T-shirt. Your favorite jeans from when you were 20 pounds lighter. The running clothes you wore in your marathon phase 10 years ago. They're symbols of unique times in your life that still exert a hold on you.
These memories aren't tucked back in a special place where you have to go out of your way to access them, like your photo album or your college alumni newsletter. They're hanging in your closet, right next to the clothes you rummage through every day. Every time you get dressed, you can't help but see these clothes, and then you experience a flood of memories that distract you from the present moment and may even sour your mood for the day.
Other types of clothes can be even more disruptive to the mindful, authentic life that I hope you start creating during this program. These are the too-small clothes that you can't currently wear but that you hope will fit you on some wonderful future day.
I'm not talking about clothing that's a single size smaller than what you currently wear. I mean those clothes that you haven't fit into for years andâif you were honest with yourselfâyou'd admit you're never going to fit into again. (Even if you could wear them, they're probably out of style now!) These clothes serve no purpose other than to mock you; to reinforce the idea that you cannot succeed at weight loss; and to drain you of motivation and the necessary enthusiasm for change.
Being physically and emotionally healthy, with a streamlined and organized home around you, requires that you remain grounded in reality and aware of the present moment. Many of the tasks that I'm asking you to do can hold you secure in this kind of life.
But if you have a closet full of “wish clothes,” these pose a real and ongoing threat to the mindful, authentic life that you could attain. I have seen the debilitating effect that these garments can have on a person's spirit.
If you have to face these clothes every day, when you should be excited by the choices in your closet and pleased to be picking out the outfit you're going to wear, you're likely to:
Get sidetracked by memories
Become lost in a daydream in which you're finally wearing that cute blouse that hasn't fit you since the day you bought it. Everyone's complimenting you! The guy behind the counter can't even focus on making your coffee because he's too busy checking you out!
Rake yourself over the coals for not losing the weight that's keeping you from fitting into all of those jeans. You've barely woken up this morning and you're already unhappy with yourself.
While taping that TV show I mentioned earlier, I could clearly see that this woman's closet held an abundance of these hurtful wish clothes. To demonstrate my point, I asked her to join me in pulling all the clothes out of her closet and arranging them by size.
When we were finished, the piles covered the spectrum of sizes from 6 to 20. My client in this decluttering task was a size 18âshe kept some larger clothes to accommodate weight fluctuationsâbut her clothing could easily have accommodated 20 women with all sorts of shapes.
Let's be honest. Clothing and weight are two taboo subjects with womenâand often menâwho are heavier than they wish to be. There is simply no easy way to navigate these waters. If you've seen me at work on TV, you know that my style is not to embarrass or humiliate the people I work with . . . but it's also not my style to sugarcoat the obvious. I believe that people welcome direct talk, even if it stings.
My words came without emotion or judgment as I honestly told her, “Look, you're going to have to accept this fact. You're over 40 and have been your current size for more than 15 years. In your heart, do you see yourself ever being a size 6 again?”
I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings. Or give her the idea that she would never lose weight.
I merely wanted her to reframe how she was thinking about her weight, her clothing, and her life. It was time to wake up to a few realizations: She could be beautiful and happy and more physically fit in ways that were true to where she was in the current moment. She very well could lose weight. People do it every day. I'm hoping
you're
doing it today. But the goal of fitting into those
clothes was not going to motivate her to make it happen. In fact, those size 6 clothes were making her feel worse about herself rather than inspired.
I have seen this many times: People set a totally unrealistic “goal,” in this case, hoping to drop from a size 18 to a size 6 without a plan to make it happen. When they don't make significant progress toward that goal, they reinforce the idea that they're a failure. And those size 6 clothes that they see every day (or in the case of guys, let's say size 32 jeans) ram that feeling home!
Your closet should be a place for clothes that you love and wear, for garments that emphasize the best parts of who you are right now. It should
not
be:
A souvenir collection
A dieting reminder that hounds you to lose weight (this doesn't work!)
A storage area for non-clothes-related odds and ends
This week, I want you to return your closet to its rightful role in your home. Turn it into a space that you enjoy stepping into, which helps you quickly and efficiently get ready in the morning. Create a clothing collection that sends you out into the world feeling confident and self-assured.
After you clean your closet, your other assignment for the week is to tame the other room in your home that should reflect who you really are but too often sabotages your self-image.
USE THE POWER OF LAUGHTER TO LET GO
A little humor is a great way to cope with the attachment we have to our stuff.
The stuff we own has power over usâthe power to make us sad, the power to remind us of wasted money or opportunity, the power to replay the dream that we never followed.
How do you take power away from the forces that want to control your life? Laugh at them! Can't let go of your high school cheerleader outfit 25 years later? Smile at your silliness. Is it impossible to part with any of the 150 rolls of paper towels you have? Picture yourself covering several tennis courts with your paper towels (which you could do), then giggle about it.
Do you absolutely have to hold on to a pair of skinny jeans that you can barely get one leg into? Imagine what you'd look like if you actually squeezed yourself into them and have a deep laugh! We're all a little crazy when it comes to our stuff. Own it. Laugh about it. Let it go!
There's a Problem in the Bathroom
The bathroom is not just the place where you clean yourself and prepare for the day. It's also where you change from who you are to who you
want
to be. It's where you conceal the faults you perceive in your appearance and look for new ones that have escaped your notice.
In many homes, the bathroom is also the showcase for the vast range of ingenious products from our planet's cosmetics, hygiene, and pharmaceutical companies (and the marketers who work for them).
Is your skin dry? Do you have gray hair? Acne? Zits? Worry lines? Age spots? Crow's-feet? Laugh lines? Does your lipstick wear off too fast or not sparkle enough? Have you had coffee stains on your teeth for too long? What other appearance problems can you find? Your nearest pharmacy, supermarket, or department store is almost guaranteed to offer not just one possible solution for each of them, but many. Television, magazines, and billboards assure us there's a lotion, potion, powder, cream, or gel for every blemish, wrinkle, crease, or spot you can possibly find (and a few you haven't yet!).