Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight (54 page)

So, when it comes to how you want to look, do you want to appear vigorous and energetic? Fashionable? Professional? Virile? Self-assured? Sophisticated? Do you prefer a more casual disheveled look, or would you rather pattern yourself on the models in the monthly glamour magazines?

While you're doing this, I recommend that your vision achieve these three As. Be sure that your goals are:

Age-appropriate.
No one should have to put effort into presenting themselves like they're in their twenties! You're either actually in your twenties and you naturally look like it, or you're older and you should use your true age as your starting point. You can find examples of men and women who look terrific in every decade of life. You can look confident, modern, sexy, and
alive
at any age.

You don't have to maintain the hair color you had when you felt that you were at your peak attractiveness. Your arms and chest don't have to fill out your T-shirt like they did when you were on the football team. After a certain age, if that's your vision, you're going to make yourself miserable trying to attain it—and you'll probably come up short anyway. Instead, create a vision that builds on what you have to offer right now and capitalizes on your best attributes, at whatever age you actually are.

Authentic.
Avoid trying to put together an image that's not true to who you are. Your efforts are going to come at a cost to your bank account or your happiness if you have to:

Spend money you don't have in order to look wealthier than you really are

Dress a certain way to try to connect with a crowd where you still aren't going to fit in

Suck in your belly to fit into your clothes

Honesty, integrity, and authenticity are hugely attractive traits in any person.

Attainable.
Whatever look you're going for, you shouldn't have to do a lot of work to obtain it. Your natural gifts should take you most of the way to your vision, then the right clothes and products can carry you that last little bit.

Once you establish your vision, everything in your closet and bathroom should support it. Any items that don't help you should not stay. Jot down your thoughts on paper to these prompts:

CLOSET AND BATHROOM VISION

This is the image I want to present to the world:

This is how I want to
feel
about myself when I'm in my closet or bathroom:

This is how I want my closet and bathroom to support this vision:

Task 2:

IDENTIFY YOUR MALIGNANT ITEMS

You probably have a lot of malignant clutter tucked away in these areas, but it may be hard to recognize. It could include:

Clothing that represents an unhappy time in your life or a good time that ended badly (such as clothes that remind you of a past relationship, or something you bought out of anger or spite)

Items in your closet that you just haven't had the energy or willpower to deal with—particularly items that might have belonged to someone else or that you've inherited and are now holding on to out of a sense of guilt

Miracle cures that wasted your money. If you bought a serum “proven” to reduce dark circles under your eyes but it didn't work, you're going to feel aggravated about the wasted expense every time you look at the bottle. You may feel that your dark circles must be especially severe if this stuff works for everyone but you. But ultimately, you're going to be reminded: “I still have these damned dark circles under my eyes!”

Gather all your malignant items into a big box and set them in the corner of your bedroom. Since you cleaned so well in here last week, the box should stand out like an ugly troll that you chased out of your closet and bathroom cabinet. If you're not yet ready to part with these items, you don't have to do so today.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A HAND

If you're stuck making a decision, call for help. Invite a close friend or friends you know well, who have opinions you trust. Open a bottle of good wine, or sparkling water if that's your preference, and ask for feedback on what looks good and what doesn't. Stage a fashion show if necessary. Honest opinions, a few laughs, and the realization that you've made some not-so-fashion-forward choices will go a long way toward deciding which clothes make you look great and which would look better on a mannequin at your local Goodwill.

Task 3:

CLEAN YOUR CLOSET

It may not be the biggest area in your home size-wise, but the density of stuff in your closet can make it a surprisingly time-consuming place to declutter. (I have a picture of me climbing into a client's closet by wedging myself through a small space at the top of the door. Going through the mountain of clutter underneath me was, unsurprisingly, a big job.)

So I'm going to break up this task into smaller steps. You may want to tackle these steps back-to-back or take a break in between.

Step 1: Do the quick and easy pass.
Grab a trash bag, take a deep breath, and bravely step—or climb—into your closet.

Start at one end of your hanging items and quickly move down the rack, throwing everything that you know you don't want to wear into the trash bag.
Just start moving, without overthinking. Throw any empty clothes hangers on the floor to be collected later. Move quickly and be decisive. If you're not sure, leave the item hanging and keep going. This first step is about speed and showing your closet who's boss.

At the end of the exercise, take the trash bag(s) straight to the trunk of your car. Drop them at a donation center on your next trip out of the house. Repeat this exercise on a number of successive days, each time being a little more critical and paring your hanging clothes down a little further. Arrange like items together as you open more space so that you can decide which duplicates are unnecessary and can go.

I firmly believe that you should only have three types of clothes in your closet.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I THROW SOMETHING AWAY, AND THEN I NEED IT?

Often someone will tell me, “Hey, Peter, I threw away that cruddy old umbrella, and a week later it rained and I got wet! Why did you make me think I should throw that umbrella away?”

I get this a lot. Here's my answer.

You will without a doubt discard one item or another that you later discover you need. It's just the way of the universe and it should never be an excuse to not let go of anything. Often people will use this fear to justify not throwing or giving anything away. I'd rather that you need to repurchase one item than use this fear as an excuse to keep 1,000 other pieces of clutter.

Yes, you might get invited to an '80s theme party next week and realize you just got rid of the perfect 30-year-old shirt. That's a small price to pay for the stress-free closet you've created.

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