Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2) (16 page)

Brynn turned around and refused to look at her birth mother. She had been staring at Ellie in shock and disbelief. But mostly Brynn was stunned by how much she resembled Ellie. She was even more surprised by how secretly pleased she was by the resemblance. Brynn hated that even after everything Ellie had done and how so much time had passed, she still wanted this woman to love and need her. And now, here she was telling her that she needed her, and Brynn needed to fight it. Fight Ellie.

“I’m leaving my number for you. I’ll wait for you to call me. I want you to meet Noah.” Brynn heard Ellie set something on the end table, and then she heard the sound of her footsteps walking away, and the sound of the door opening and closing behind her. She didn’t turn around until she knew that she was gone. She didn’t want Ellie to see the tears cascading down her face.

Brynn picked up the card with her name and phone number on it. She took a picture of it with her phone and slowly tore the card up, piece by piece.

A brother! Family!

She thought about Noah.
How old is he? What does he look like? Would he even care that I’m his sister?

I wish I could tell Adam! Adam would know what to do. Adam would help me.

Brynn felt a pain deep in her chest. It didn’t matter how many times a day she thought about Adam, it was never going to change for her. Adam was gone and so was her baby, Sophie.

Brynn had enough for the day. She took a sleeping pill that her doctor had prescribed and laid down in her bed. Maxie was happy for any excuse to be on the bed, and snuggled as close to her as he could. Brynn closed her eyes praying desperately that sleep would overtake her as quickly as possible.

“NOAH! IT’S TIME FOR LUNCH!”
Kelly the pretty caregiver called out for him.

Noah liked this time of day. Lunch was his favorite time, and they were having his favorite food—hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. He had been looking forward to today’s lunch all week.

“Lunch!!” Noah cried out, enthusiastically as he ran to his chair throwing his tall, lean body into it.

“What do we say about running, Noah?” Kelly said chiding him with a smile.

“No running! Sorry,” Noah said, hanging his head. His dark brown hair falling into his glittering green eyes.

“It’s okay. I just don’t want you to get hurt, silly!” Kelly smiled. Noah was her favorite patient, and she loved working with him every day. Noah reminded her of her younger brother whom she missed terribly and who was away at college.
I wish that Noah had a normal life so that he could be away at college now, too.

“Okay, Kelly!” Noah’s smile reappeared instantly as he stared down at his hot dog. “Ketchup, please!”

“Ketchup?” Kelly said giving him a funny look. “You don’t like ketchup!”

“I know, I was just teasing!” Noah smiled at her again and then took a big bite of his plain hot dog. “Is my Mommy coming today?” he asked with his mouth full.

“I don’t know, Noah. Please don’t talk with your mouth full,” Kelly said, dreading having to answer the same question every day. “I haven’t heard anything, and she usually calls when she is coming. I’m sorry, buddy, but I don’t think she will be here today.”

Noah’s face fell. It had been forty-seven days since he saw his mommy last, and he missed her. He was keeping count on the calendar even though Kelly told him that he shouldn’t.

Kelly shook her head, trying to mask her annoyance.
Why wouldn’t she come see him? He doesn’t even need to be here! She could take care of him at home with help, if she ever wanted to. He’s such a joy!
Kelly knew that when she had children of her own one day, she would never abandon them or leave them, as Noah’s mother had. She was raised in a close-knit family, and she couldn’t imagine not being with her own child when the time came.

“Okay,” Noah said, chewing slowly, trying to remember not to talk with his mouth full. He took a sip of his drink and swallowed carefully. “It’s been forty-seven days since I’ve seen Mommy, Kelly. That’s a long time.”

“I know, buddy.” Kelly said smiling warmly at him, her pretty face making him forget his sadness. “Let’s finish lunch, and we will go make a new friend.”

Noah liked this game. Kelly would take him around and introduce him to people that he didn’t know yet. People were always coming and going there. When someone left, someone always took their place. Noah liked where he lived. He always got to make new friends.

When Noah was done eating, he cleaned up his tray like Kelly had taught him and washed his hands carefully. He didn’t want to spread germs and make people sick, so he was always careful to wash his hands, and he did so lots of time during the day.

“I’m ready,” He said cheerfully. “Where are we going?”

“Let’s just go for a walk, and we’ll see who we find.” Kelly said happily. She loved watching Noah meet new people. He was so friendly and easy to talk to, and the older residents loved meeting him, even the grumpy ones.

They walked down a long walkway for a while past the beautiful green lawn and a large koi pond. There was a woman sitting at the koi pond feeding the fish.

“Hi!” Noah said, walking right up to her and extending his hand. “I’m Noah.”

“Hi.” The woman said, surprised. She looked at Noah with curiosity. He seemed familiar to her, but she didn’t know why. She took his hand slowly and shook it.

Kelly looked at her with curiosity. She doesn’t appear to be very old. I wonder what her story is.

“Are you new?” Noah asked standing too close to her wheelchair. The woman was visibly uncomfortable and wheeled herself back slightly.

“Yes, I’m new,” the woman said smiling nervously.

“I’m not. I’ve been here for a long time. Since I was three. I love it here,” Noah said happily. “But I live in a different part of the building. This part is for old people.”

“Noah!” Kelly scolded. “Don’t be rude.”

“I’m sorry! I meant...” Noah was embarrassed. He usually had better manners than that.

“It’s okay,” the woman said graciously. “Why have you been here for so long?”

“My Mommy can’t take care of me,” Noah said sadly.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The woman said, immediately feeling bad for him.

“That’s okay. I like it here,” Noah repeated. “Do you have any kids?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so,” she said squirming in her chair. She wasn’t used to such direct questions from a stranger. This one was young, and he wanted to know a lot. The only reason she was talking to him was that he seemed familiar.

Kelly watched Noah and the woman with deep interest. Aside from their eye color, they had a strange strong physical resemblance and a few of the same mannerisms.
Am I crazy? Am I really seeing this? Who is this woman?

“Why don’t you know?” Noah asked the woman, not realizing that he was over stepping the line.

“Why do you ask so many questions?” the woman said, visibly annoyed.

Noah was sad. He didn’t mean to make the nice lady mad at him. “I’m sorry. I just like to make new friends.”

The woman looked at Noah. He was in his late teens, tall, with dark brown hair and beautiful green eyes. His eyes were a little too close together, but otherwise the woman thought he had a handsome face. She could tell that he was a nice boy, and she felt drawn to him in a strange way. But she was uncomfortable with the questions he asked.
Why does he want to know so much about me?

“Well, you shouldn’t ask people so many questions. It’s rude,” the woman said scolding him gently.

“I wasn’t trying to be rude,” he said his voice quiet. “I’m sorry that I bothered you.”

He turned around and started to walk away.

The woman realized that she didn’t really want him to go.

“Wait, young man,” she said, calling after him. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Noah turned around slowly. He looked at Kelly and she nodded at him, smiling. She could see why the woman was drawn to him. It was the same reason that everyone was drawn to him. His energy and enthusiasm made Noah hard to let go of.

“Okay!” Noah said brightly. He skipped back to the woman, happy that she changed her mind.

“Wheel me around,” she ordered curtly.

Noah grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed her slowly down the walkway.

Noah was careful not to talk. He figured she probably was tired of him asking questions. They walked on for a while in silence, with Kelly trailing behind them.

“Where did you come from, young man?” the woman asked.

“I used to live an hour from here, in a big house. But my Mommy couldn’t take care of me,” Noah said looking at the woman with serious brown eyes. “So I came to live here when I was three. They’ve taken care of me ever since I was little.”

“So you like living here?” the woman asked, enjoying the sound of his voice.

“Yes. They give me ice cream, and we eat hot dogs. They are nice to me here. Especially Kelly.” Noah said happily.

“That’s good,” the woman said smiling. “I like hot dogs.”

“I think we can be friends,” the woman said after they had walked on for a little while in silence. “But don’t ask me a lot of questions. I don’t know anything about myself.”

“Nothing?” Noah asked, curious.

“Not much,” the woman said, a trace of sadness in her voice.

“Why not?” Noah was hesitant, but he wanted to know why his new friend couldn’t remember anything.

“I got hurt a long time ago, somehow. It hurt my brain, I think. And now I get headaches, and I can’t sleep, and I can’t remember anything.”

“How did you get hurt?” Noah remembered the last time he got a boo-boo and he shuddered. He hated getting hurt.

“I don’t know. I just know that my head got hurt. I think it shook my brain,” the older woman laughed. “At least I know that I have one.”

Noah smiled. “I have a brain, but it doesn’t work good.”

“What do you mean?” the woman asked puzzled.

“I’m not too smart.” Noah said sadly. “Not like other boys my age.”

“You seem smart to me,” the woman said smiling at him for the first time. “You seem very smart.”

Noah thought the woman was pretty when she smiled.

“Thank you,” Noah said smiling back. Nobody had ever called him smart before. Especially not a new friend. “That’s why my Mommy didn’t want to take care of me. She didn’t want a stupid kid.”

“I’m sure that’s not true at all,” the woman said, patting his hand gently. She was enjoying their walk more than she thought she would.

Noah had a thought.

“What is your name? I know all of my friend’s names. Andy, Steven, Kelly, Susan, Bob, Carol, Brian, Joe, Charlie…”

“My name is Carly,” the woman said smiling at his long list. “Just call me Carly.”

BRYNN WAS ON A MISSION
to try to work a lot. Jane kept trying to send her home, but Brynn needed to do something.

“I haven’t spent much time here, with the pregnancy and all, so it’s time that I get caught up,” she told Jane stubbornly.

“Yes, but that’s why you pay me, and that’s why you pay Lucia. We take care of all of these things for you.” Jane was beside herself. After running the restaurant by herself for so long, Brynn was interrupting the flow.

“I know. But I have to do something.” Brynn said, understanding what Jane was trying to say. “This is different than the first time that Adam left. I know he’s not coming back. I know that I can’t just lie in bed and lose myself as I did before. I have to work.”

Brynn felt like she was going crazy. She couldn’t stand to be home, staring at the empty rooms. She had cleaned most of them as the realtor came in and out with perspective buyers. The nursery was the first room to be boxed up with everything put away. The only livable rooms were the bedroom, the kitchen, and the sitting room. Otherwise, everything was in boxes, neatly lining the walls of the garage.

Maxie was beside himself locked in the back sunroom, but Brynn couldn’t let him roam like he usually did. Brynn kept telling herself that it was temporary, and that it wouldn’t last forever.
I have to get rid of the house. Every corner, every room reminds of him. Smells like him. I have to get out of this house!

“You’ve been through a traumatic experience Brynn, both physically and emotionally. You need to make sure that you understand that and don’t push it.” Jane was concerned for her friend. At least this time, Brynn remained upright and functional every day. Jane was thankful for that.

“I know,” Brynn said with a half-hearted smile. “That’s why I’m here, to distract myself.”

“Well, maybe you should stick to cooking or something else. You’re driving Luis a little crazy,” Jane said, smiling. Luis was the head prep cook, and he set the specials for the day. He was complaining to Jane about Brynn stepping on his toes, and it had only been a week.

Brynn was annoyed. If it weren’t for her, Luis wouldn’t even have a job. But part of her understood. She hadn’t been hands-on in the kitchen for well over a year now, and Luis had been doing a very good job.

Brynn tried to smile. “I just need to do something.”

“I know you do,” Jane said hugging her friend. They had seen each other through a lot, and Jane wondered when Brynn was ever going to catch a break. “Why don’t you come in tomorrow, get back into some of the book keeping, and work through breakfast?”

Brynn smiled gratefully. The restaurant and Maxie were all that she had now. Brynn had repeatedly tried calling Ellie, but she didn’t return her calls. She knew that she shouldn’t be disappointed, but she had been looking forward to possibly meeting her brother, after all.

After another sleepless night, Brynn came in the next morning at three a.m., and set to work. She was happy to let Jane have the day off to spend with the girls. The restaurant opened at six for breakfast and Brynn was surprised at how quickly the morning flew by. Lucia still worked a few mornings a week when she wasn’t taking morning classes and was happy to see Brynn so early.

“How are you?” Lucia asked her beautiful cocoa brown eyes full of concern. Lucia knew what it was like to lose a child, only she had given hers up for adoption. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t miss her and say a prayer for her baby.