Losing Eva (The Eva Series Book 2) (20 page)

“Well, they were together half of their lives, so don’t rush into anything,” Hannah warned.

“Okay, well we should be going now,” Daniel said embarrassed. “I’m sorry to be so abrupt. Adam didn’t tell us about you, that’s all. It caught us off guard. I’m sure you’re a very nice young lady.”

“It’s okay, really,” Jessie said her face still red from the earlier embarrassment. “I understand.”

Daniel was pushing Hannah out the door before she could say anything else.

Jessie locked the door behind them and stood over Adam, tears burning in her bright green eyes. “How could you do this to me?” she said knowing that he couldn’t hear her. “After all I have done for you, how could you humiliate me?”

Adam lay face down on the couch, not moving. She knew that he was out for the count until he woke up with a vicious hangover.
He won’t even miss me. He won’t even know I’m gone.

Jessie went into the bedroom and packed her bags. She knew that it would come to this one day, but she hoped that it wouldn’t.

That’s okay. It’s better this way. She thought moving her hand to her belly. It’s better if he doesn’t even know about the baby. We don’t need him in our lives when he doesn’t love us.

Jessie found a notepad and left him a note:

Adam,

I met your parents while I was in my underwear. It was humiliating and horrifying. I know now that you don’t love me and that you never will. I wish you the best always and wish that it could have been different for us.

I will always love you and remember the time we had together. Don’t call me or contact me. I never want to see you again.

J~

NICK WOKE UP
to screaming.

“What the….” He jumped out of bed and realized that he wasn’t in his own bedroom. He was half-asleep and confused. “Where am I?”

Oh, that’s right. Brynn!

“Brynn! Brynn!” Nick looked around the bedroom and realized that it was empty. He followed the sound of the screaming, his heart pounding in his chest.

“No! No! Don’t hurt me. Please stop hurting me! I’ll be good, I’ll be good!” Brynn’s voice was sobbing and screaming, getting louder as he got closer to the kitchen.

He opened the door and saw Brynn crouched on the floor, tight up against the cabinets, her arms shielding her face. She was thrashing around desperately trying to cover her body up and protect herself from an unknown threat that seemed to be right above her. Maxie sat a few feet away whimpering.

Nick had never seen anything like it.

“Brynn, Brynn!” he was next to her in a split second, grabbing her tight with his strong arms. “Brynn, you’re okay. I’m here. It’s Nick.”

Brynn kept thrashing, her hair flying as she tried to break out of his grip. “Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Pleeeeease stop!”

Nick looked into her eyes, which were wild with fear. Her eyes were even bigger than normal, and they were staring but not seeing. “BRYNN!” Nick screamed grabbing her face with his hands. “BRYNN, WAKE UP. WAKE UP!”

Brynn stopped thrashing immediately, her eyes still wide. Nick saw her trying to focus on his face, and he watched as the realization hit her and her body slumped to the ground.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Nick,” Brynn said lying on the floor, her long dark hair covering her face.

Nick got close to her and pulled her hair away, gently caressing her cheek. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said trying to soothe her. His heart was starting to beat normally. He felt like his body was on fire from the adrenaline, and he scooped her up in his arms and held her close. “What were you dreaming about?”

Brynn was silent as she curled up as close to him as she could get trying to get control of herself. She wanted to hide from the humiliation of her dream. This is what she had been afraid of when Nick told her that he could push back his return home and stay for the week. She was afraid of the dreams, but somehow being with him, had kept them at bay, until now. “I was dreaming about my father. The one who adopted me, the one who used to hurt me.”

She could hear Nick suck in his breath.
This is far more than he ever bargained for
, she thought bitterly. She knew that once he was gone, she wouldn’t hear from him again after this.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Nick said holding her as tight as he could. He couldn’t imagine anyone ever hurting Brynn.

“I know,” Brynn said tearfully. “There’s no way you would have. I wish you hadn’t seen this.”

“Why?” Nick asked pulling away and as he made her look him in the eyes.

Brynn looked down. She was mortified that he had seen her nightmares. They got better, and then they got worse. The shrink said she might never get a handle on them. Most nights she took the sleeping pills he gave her to knock herself out, but she didn’t take them when Nick was there.

“It’s embarrassing. I’m sorry,” Brynn said, so quietly that Nick could barely hear her.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. You should never be embarrassed, not ever. Not around me.”

Brynn sighed, the emotions still swirling around her. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, but she didn’t know how she couldn’t. She closed her eyes tight and tried to breathe, but she still felt the wave of tears threatening to overcome her.

“Oh baby, you can cry. Don’t hold it in,” Nick whispered in her ear. Brynn felt the flood coming and for the first time, she let it out, sobbing freely in his arms. Nick held her close, feeling protective. He didn’t want anything to hurt her and wanted to look out for her every chance he got. She was healing him from the inside out, and he wanted to do the same for her.

They clung to each other on the kitchen floor for a long time. Nick wanted so badly to protect her. He had gotten to know her so well in their short time together that he couldn’t imagine being without her.

Brynn looked up at him, grateful to have him holding her close, sheltering her. She kissed his neck softly, surprising herself. They had been affectionate, but her kiss told him everything that he needed to know. She wanted to be as close to him as she possibly could. She had only given herself to Adam, but she wanted Nick more than she had ever wanted anyone.

“We said we were taking it slow,” Nick whispered in her ear as he felt her hands all over him.

“I know, but I changed my mind,” Brynn said panting as she pulled him into her. Nick had no choice but to give in. She was more than he ever imagined she would be, and he was drawn to her in such a way that he couldn’t deny. He wanted all of her, even if it was only for a brief time. He wanted as much of her as he could have. He needed her.

Brynn made him feel as if everything were right in the world. The feel of her soft skin on his, the curve of her back, and the touch of her fingertips. Nick knew there was nowhere else he wanted to be but with her, close to her, filling his whole world up with only her and letting the rest of it all fall away.

They fell asleep, clothes strewn all over the kitchen floor. Brynn reveled in the deliciousness of lying half-naked on the cool tile of the kitchen floor. She was close to being as free as she could be, yet careful to hide her scars. He had seen enough for one day. She sighed happily, and lay as close to Nick as she could, falling quickly into a deep sleep.

Nick woke with a start.

He hadn’t even checked the clock when he ran downstairs, and he was surprised to see the sun coming up through the kitchen windows.

He held onto Brynn, but strained his neck to see what time it was on the microwave clock.

Oh, Shit! I have to leave in thirty minutes to catch my plane!
Nick tensed up without realizing it.

“Are you okay?” Brynn said wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

“Yeah,” Nick said looking away. She was already good at being able to tell when he wasn’t being honest.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Brynn said grabbing his chin and turning it toward her.

“My plane. It leaves in two hours. I have to leave soon.” Nick said apologetically.

“Oh, is it that time, already?” Brynn asked, gathering herself and extracting her body from his grip. She didn’t realize that it was so early in the morning.

“It is.” Nick hated to leave. He had already extended his trip by a day, but he had to get back home. He had to get back to the office. Then he had to try to figure out when he could get back to Brynn.

Brynn looked at him, her eyes sad. He thought she had sad eyes anyway, but looking into them was heart wrenching even for him.

“Will you be back?” Brynn asked shyly.

“Yes, I will. Definitely. I just don’t know when. It’s Maryland to Ohio, and I have to try to figure out a schedule so that I can get to you soon and often,” Nick said looking straight at her.

Brynn knew that she looked terrible from crying so much, but somehow it didn’t seem to matter. When Nick looked at her, she felt beautiful. She knew that she would miss him, even though they just met, the connection between them strong and palpable.. She never imagined she would connect with someone after Adam, but Nick was so much different than Adam and made her feel things she never imagined she could.

Even still Adam had been her first love, and as hard as she tried, she often missed him and found her thoughts drifting to him throughout the day. She wondered if that would ever change for her and hoped that it would. For the first time in her life, she felt truly hopeful.

“Don’t look so sad. We’ll Skype, and we’ll stay in touch. It’ll be okay.” Nick held her close and breathed in her clean scent. He loved how she smelled and willed it to stay with him for as long as it could.

“I know. I just…” Brynn couldn’t continue. She didn’t want to define anything yet.
For all I know, he will walk out my door and he won’t come back. I may never hear from him again.
“I just want you to have a safe flight.”

“It’ll be fine,” Nick said trying to be cheerful. He got up and took her hand as he walked into the bedroom to pack. Brynn took him in, enjoying watching him move.

He packed quickly, and Brynn sat on the edge of the bed waiting for the inevitable.

“Okay, so this is it,” Nick said throwing his arms in the air.

“Okay. Well, have a safe trip and text me when you get back,” Brynn said smiling up at him.

“I will. And I’ll be back to see you soon. Or you can come see me,” Nick said smoothing her hair.

“Okay,” Brynn said feeling the awkwardness of the moment approaching.

Nick leaned over and kissed her, and Brynn was lost in time, enjoying the feel of his lips on hers with nothing else to think about.

They pulled away from each other, both of them gasping for air.

“I really need to leave or I’m going to miss my plane,” Nick said smiling, his hair tousled from Brynn’s hands. She liked how unguarded he looked, and she wished she could take a picture of him at that moment.

“Let me know when you get home safely,” Brynn said smiling.

“I will. And I
will
see you soon.” Nick said kissing her one last time. He picked up his bag and walked out of the bedroom, looking behind at her as he left.

Brynn flopped down on the bed, her body aching in all of the right places.

She was already replaying the week in her mind. The late night talks, the intimate details about their marriages, their divorces, the deaths of their children. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could really talk to somebody other than Jane. She tried unsuccessfully to push down the excitement in her chest, even though her head kept telling her not to trust it. She had been so hurt, but Nick was making her feel as though there were possibilities.

She hadn’t told him everything about Thomas, or about when she used to cut herself to ease the pain, but she figured those conversations would have to come at a later time.

There’s a connection, a real connection. I’m not imagining it; I know that I’m not.

Brynn closed her eyes and let herself get lost in her bliss, thinking about nothing but Nick.

She heard an odd sound, a buzz, and she looked around for the source. She didn’t recognize it, and then she realized it was her cell phone, put away in a drawer.

Brynn’s heart leapt to see she had a text.

He’s texting me already!

She opened it up:

Brynn~Need to talk ASAP. Adam.

JOHN PALMER LOVED HIS JOB,
but there were parts of it that he didn’t like, specifically the parts that involved dealing with Ellie Harper.

He knew that he had people to do that for him, but he had made a promise to her deceased father long ago that he would always help take care of the Harper family. He planned to keep that promise no matter what.

And now she was dead.

John was secretly relieved that she was finally gone for good. He had seen the blood soaked body for himself, and was thankful that this time he wouldn’t be in store for another surprise return. The coroner said that Ellie overdosed, and then had bashed her head on the floor as she was falling. She had no chance. John knew that it was only a matter of time. On the outside, he played the part of the grieving family friend, but on the inside, he finally felt that he could breathe a little easier.

But there were loose ends to tie up now. Noah. Brynn Michael. He knew that Ellie was going to tell Brynn about Noah, but he wasn’t sure if she actually ever did.

He thought that if he took Tricia with him that Brynn might be open to him. He had done his research on her, and he knew that she was a closed book, and that it took a while for her to open up to people. John needed her to be willing to be Noah’s guardian, for Noah’s sake. He no longer had anyone to count on, and as his half-sister, John wasn’t sure if Brynn would be willing to take on that job. John didn’t think that if it were he, that he would do it. But Brynn would have every resource available to her that she could think of, and John wanted her to know that.