Authors: Jennifer Bryan Yarbrough
"Yes, we do. Is there anything in particular you're looking
for? Maybe I can help you ladies." The sales lady was looking at us like she was sizing both of us up.
"We are looking for some dresses. We are going out tonight
and we want to look fabulous!" Claudia winked and
grinned at me like she had something up her sleeve.
"Well, follow me. I think I can find you two ladies
something that you're looking for. Let's see what we have
here."
She looked Claudia up and down and told her to turn
around and then she looked at me and had me do the same. "Ok, looks like we need some size 6's. Follow me, ladies." She and Claudia started walking and I stood where I was,
wondering how in the world she thought I could actually
wear a size 6. Claudia realized I wasn't behind her and
turned around and put her hand on her hips.
"Well, are you coming or not?"
"Well yeah, but I'm not a size 6. You know I'm a size 10.
I've always been a size 10." She sighed and looked at me
like I had just lost my mind.
"Have you looked in the mirror lately? I realize that all
you're used to wearing is sweats, but have you noticed that
they're falling off of you?" I had noticed that my clothes seemed to be baggy, but no. I hadn't really looked at myself in the mirror, other than when I would brush my teeth when
I got up, but I hadn't really LOOKED at myself. I just don't
want to see my own reflection looking back at me.
"Well, not really. I just don't really care about things like
that anymore. It's not like I have anyone to look pretty for
anymore."
"Just because there's not anyone around to dress up for
anymore, doesn't mean you can't do it to make yourself feel
better. This is just another way that you've just let yourself
go. When Derek was alive, you were always dressing up
and wearing your makeup and keeping your hair trimmed
and fixed up." She gave me a half smile, waiting to see what
I was going to say and I could tell that she was wondering
if this was going to be a continued argument from this
morning.
"I realize that, but that was just my way of keeping him
interested and to keep him from looking at anyone else"
Derek tended to have a roaming eye. I
could always tell when he thought someone was attractive
and I tried to make sure that I never turned into a frumpy little housewife, because one of my biggest fears was him
cheating on me. He was a very good looking guy and a
great catch and I really had to work at looking pretty, because it didn't really come natural to me, like it did
Claudia.
I had always struggled with the 30 pounds that I had put on
after I had kids and he would always insinuate that I needed
to get a gym membership to get rid of my love handles.
When I didn't get one myself, it was one of my Christmas
presents from him last year. I went a couple of times, but
never went back.
"Looks like we need to work on some self-esteem issues as
well, I see." She waved me on, which meant the
conversation was over. While we were having our
discussion, the sales lady had a few dresses picked out for
us on the clothing rack by the dressing rooms.
"Ladies, here are a few that I believe will look great on the
both of you."
"I'm sorry, but I think you might have gotten my size
wrong. I know I've lost a little bit of weight, but I've always
worn a size 10. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to fit into a
size 6. Do you have any 8's maybe?" I started to go towards
the dresses for something in my size, when she stopped me.
"I assure you ma'am, I'm never wrong, but I'll tell ya what.
If the 6's don't fit you, we can go up a size, okay? I will leave
you ladies to it. Feel free to let me know if you need any
help with anything. We also have heels to go with the dresses and some jewelry that a customer makes locally
here in town if you need any accessories." She nodded at
the both of us and walked away. I just stood there in shock. There's no way any of the
dresses were going to fit me, I could already tell. Claudia
was going through the dresses, picking a few out and
hands me 4 dresses.
"Here, go try these on. I think they'll look good on you.
Let’s take the 2 dressing rooms on the end that's closest to
the mirror and it can be like old times, when we were
teenagers when Derek took us shopping at the mall.
“Remember all of the runway shows we would put on for
him at Jcpenny? Man those were the good old days." She
was giggling like she did way back then!
Claudia was how I met Derek. We were best friends in high
school and I spent a lot of time at their house and I had
always had a crush on him, but I never thought he would
look at me, since I was a freshman and he was a senior. One
day he told me that he thought I was kind of cute and asked if I wanted to go out with him and that was it for me. We were inseparable after that.
He went away to college after he graduated, while I was still
going to school and we got engaged my senior year and
then we got married after I graduated. I took a few business
classes at the closest vocational school, because he didn't
see any point in both of us having a college degree, because
we both wanted a lot of kids and he wanted me to stay home with them. He figured the business classes would
help in running a big household, because we wanted at least four kids.
If only that would have all worked out.
The boys were
close in age and we waited a few years to have Jenna, but
before they all died, Derek and I were trying to get pregnant with
our fourth, so that Jenna would have someone closer to her age to play with. I was hoping I was pregnant after the
accident and was devastated when I started my period 2 weeks
later and it just made everything seem so
Final.
Over. Done.
I take the dresses from Claudia and go into the dressing
room. I check out the dresses and they're absolutely
gorgeous and I doubt that I will do any of them justice.
"Ok. Here's the deal. We each put a dress on and when we
get done, we yell out that we are ready and open the door at
the same time, so we can check each other out, okay? I don't care if it doesn't look good on you or not, you still open the door and do it. Got it?" Why is she yelling?
Our dressing rooms aren't that far apart. I hope no one else
decides to try something on. She can be so embarrassing
sometimes.
"Got it." It's better to just go along with her sometimes.
I strip my clothes down to my panties and bra and look into
the mirror and I am shocked at what I see. When did this
happen? I've never been fat. Like I said, I had a couple of
love handles, but not too big of ones and I needed to lose
some weight in my butt, but what I'm looking at right now
is not me! I wasn't this skinny in high school! I was never
fat and had a flat stomach before the kids came along and
had long legs. Not like Claudia, but I got a lot of
compliments. I look Skinny! Not anorexic skinny, but
my love handles are definitely gone along with my butt!
Maybe I do wear a size 6! I decide to try the first dress.
It's just your simple little black cocktail dress. A little too
short for my taste, but I might as well try it on since Claudia
is turning this into a little game. I unzip the zipper and put it
on and start to look in the mirror, but Claudia is yelling at
me.
"Ok. Are you ready?" Not only is she still yelling, but she's
giggling like crazy.
"Yes."
"Ok. On the count of 3! 1 2
3!"
Claudia and I opened our doors and we both gasped. She
looked so beautiful She has always been beautiful, with her
5' 8" frame. She always thought she was too tall for her
body, but she really did look like she should have been a
runway model, from her olive complexion to her deep
brown eyes and dark brown hair that goes to the middle of
her back, down to her long legs that just go on and on. She's
always had that fit look about her, like she worked out, but
she never had a day in her life! I was always so jealous of
her natural beauty.
"Oh my God, Olivia! You are smoking HOT!" Her eyes
looked like they were going to bug out of her head.
"Oh you are crazy! Look at you! She was wearing a red
dress that looked identical to my black dress.
"Oh, girl! Forget about me. Have you looked at yourself
yet?" I made a face and she realized that I hadn't. Come to
think of it, I had just put the dress on when she started yelling, so I didn't even think about it.
"No, I haven't." I turned towards the mirror and I was absolutely stunned! Speechless! Not only was I wearing
the dress, but it actually FIT me! I didn't even think about it
when I put it on and zipped it up. She was right! I was
HOT! The dress went to mid-thigh and when I first saw it, I
figured it would be too short, but honestly it made my legs
look even longer and for once I didn't think my thighs were
too big. They were the size I had always wanted. I looked
into the mirror at Claudia and she was crying.
"You're absolutely stunning and even more beautiful, O."
She reached up with her hands to wipe the tears from her
face and leaned towards me and gave me a hug and we
were both looking in the mirror, looking at each other. I
didn't know what to say, because I was still so shocked at
what I was seeing at my reflection.
"Do you know what we need to do?" She was walking back
into her dressing room, while taking her dress off.
She hung it back up on the hanger and started putting her
clothes back on.
"What do we need to do, Claud? Why are you getting
dressed? We still have more dresses to try on." I'm
completely confused now.
"Oh we aren't trying on anymore dresses... We are wearing
the dresses we just had on to my meeting tonight and then
we are going out for dinner after, but right now?" She was
looking at her watch, as she was saying this and grabbing
not only all of her dresses, but mine as well. "We are going to go pick some heels out to go with the dresses and we are buying all of them, because I trust the
sales lady with what she picked for us and we are going to
head to the beauty salon. Right now! So get undressed and
put your clothes back on."
She walked out with me gawking at her, as she walked
away. Buy ALL of the dresses? I looked at a couple of the
price tags on them and the cost of some of them could have fed my family for a month!
For just one dress!
It's not that I can't afford to buy all of them, but I've never spent so much money on myself. EVER! I received the
money from the life insurance policies from Derek and the
kids and aside from paying Claudia money every month for
rent-to which she never deposits the checks-I'm set for
life. But can I be so frivolous and spend that much money
on myself? If I know Claud, she's not going to give me a
choice. I go ahead and get dressed and head to the front to
check out.
"Okay girl, let's go." She is waiting for me at the door
and already has everything bagged up and ready to go.
"What are you doing, Claud? I need to pay for my stuff, that
you're making me buy." She's not exactly "making" me buy
them. I did really like the dresses, from what I saw.
"Did you actually think that I was going to argue with you
about how much everything cost and then you try to talk
yourself out of not getting all of it? No thank you!"
She walked out of the door and headed towards her car. I thanked the sales lady and silently prayed that she had left
her a good tip for all of her help and then followed Claudia
to the car.
"I will write you a check when we get home, okay?" She
seemed mad for some reason and I couldn't figure out why.
"Are you mad at me about something? What'd I do?"