Lost Paradise (13 page)

“She got up angry,” I said, turning over some
sausage. “But I talked to her this morning. I think things will be
a little better now.”

“What did you tell her?” Theo said, coming
over to stand behind me, and rubbing my shoulders.

“I’ll tell you later,” I said quietly,
motioning that we should zip it, because everyone was sure to be
hearing what we were saying.

Theo nodded. “So are you ready to go home
after breakfast?”

I put down my fork, and put my arms around
him, kissing him thoroughly as an answer.

He broke it off, his blue-grey eyes
surprised. “Does that mean yes?”

I loved his eyes better than anyone else’s,
even Devlin’s. “It means yes,” I said, nodding.

“You seem different this morning,” he said
happily. “Like your old self.”

“Maybe,” I whispered. “Or maybe I just
finally remembered who I really am.”

Titus had been right. It had just taken
longer than a night for the bond to solidify between us. Maybe
because I’d already been pregnant by then with Devlin’s child,
maybe because I’d been so close to dying. But I’d had enough of
lovers plural, and waking up in different beds. I wanted only one
man, the one standing before me. I reached out then gently, and
held Theo’s cheek in my hand.

“And who are you?” Theo murmured.

“I’m yours,” I said emotionally. “I always
will be.”

“Mom?” Elle said hesitantly, walking into the
kitchen.

I dropped my hand from Theo’s face, as we
both turned quickly to the kitchen door to Elle. I noticed Lash was
behind her, dressed, watching us intently from the dining room,
sipping from his mug.

“Do you want some help?” Elle said, offering
a tentative smile.

“Yes,” I said, giving her a grateful smile.
“You can start bringing in the food.”

“What is Theoron eating?” Elle said, smelling
the air. “It smells good.”

“He’s having some liquefied steak,” I said.
“Would you like some—?”

Theo growled, surmising rightly that I’d made
Lash breakfast.

“Will you go and get Danial and Devlin?” I
asked him. “They should both be awake reading.”

“Will do,” Theo said curtly, his eyes still
watching Lash.

“Theo,” I said pointedly.

Theo shot me an irritated look, and went to
wake the vampires, studiously not looking at Lash as he went past
him.

Sigh. Well, at least they weren’t
fighting.

Theoron ran back in the kitchen, followed by
Lash. “Can I have some more?” Theoron said hopefully.

I looked at Lash. “Do you want more, too? I
can split it again like I did the first time.”

“I always want more,” Lash hissed
meaningfully.

I flushed as Elle cast Lash an angry look, a
soft growl filling the air.

I went to the fridge, and unwrapped another
steak. “Why are you only polite when we’re alone?” I said cheerily,
my eyes shooting daggers at Lash as I prepared the meat juice.

“I’m sorry,” he hissed, nodding once. “I
should not have said that to you here in front of the children.
I’ll be in the dining room.” He turned and left.

Apparently, he had manners after all. Elle
looked as surprised as I was, but didn’t comment.

“Here,” I said, handing the mugs to Theoron.
“You know what to do.”

* * * *

As I was cleaning up after breakfast with
Elle’s help, Theo put his arms around me from behind. “Great job,
Sar.”

“Thanks,” I said tiredly, handing Elle a
clean dish to wipe.

“We can leave anytime you want to,” Theo
whispered. “I’m off for today, and you have that appointment
tomorrow with Dr. Camlyn.”

“Sounds good,” I agreed. “We can—”

“Doesn’t sound good to me,” a melodious voice
said coldly.

Theo, Elle and I looked up, startled. Devlin
stood there in the doorway, his hands gripping the doorframe above
his head. He was smiling, his eyes tinged with red. Abruptly, he
let go of the door and glided toward me, beginning to sing. The
full effect of his voice enfolded us as we stood motionless,
enraptured.

“Oh can’t you see, you belong to me? How my
poor heart aches, with every step you take...” As Dev reached the
word “take”, he put his arms around me, pulling me close.

“It’s too early in the morning to be ripping
off Police songs,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m not singing them idly,” Devlin replied.
He bared his fangs in a smile. “I mean them, Love.”

“Let her go,” Theo growled. “Sar’s tired and
I’m taking her home.”

“You leave,” Devlin growled back. “I’ll say
when she—”

“Stop it!” I shouted suddenly, hysteria
lacing my words. “Dev, I’m going home with Theo after breakfast.
Now leave us in peace!”

Devlin opened his mouth, and I put my hand
over it. “I’m pregnant, I’m tired, and I’m sore,” I said firmly. “I
need to rest. All I would be doing if I stayed would be
sleeping.”

Devlin reached up and gently removed my hand.
“But we could sleep together. I told you before how much that means
to me.”

“Not today,” I said firmly. “I’ll see you
Wednesday.”

“Very well,” Devlin said gruffly.
“Wednesday.” He turned and strode out of the kitchen.

“Mom,” Elle wheedled. “You said during
breakfast about the sleepover—”

Parenting, the job that never ended
.
“June,” I said firmly. “And this time, pick only a couple of good
friends, Elle.”

“Violet and Susan,” she said quickly.
“They’re my best friends.”

Violet, I remembered; I’d liked her. “Is
Susan in your dance class?”

“She’s in the advanced class. She’s
cool.”

“Then that sounds fine,” I said, trying to be
cheerful. “Pick a Friday or Saturday, but give me notice, so I can
work it out with Devlin and Danial.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Elle said happily, then left
the kitchen.

“What about you?” I asked Theoron. “Did you
get enough to eat?”

“Yes,” Theoron said earnestly, smiling up at
me. “I heard Lash said he wanted more. I told him he could have
most of mine, too, but he said for me to drink it.”

“That was thoughtful of you,” I said to
Theoron, resisting my urge to scream. “Why don’t you go and watch
some TV?”

“Okay,” he said, hugging me. “Thanks for
breakfast, both of them.”

I pulled the unraveling edges of myself back
together, and smiled down at him. “You’re welcome.”

Theoron ran out of the kitchen.

“Why does Devlin always have to be so over
the top?” Theo said irritably, putting plates away.

Danial walked in and went to the oven,
setting it to self-clean. “I don’t know,” he replied wearily.
“Jealousy doesn’t explain the mood swings he’s always had, either.”
He turned to me. “Is there anything else I can help with?”

“No,” I said, giving the kitchen a quick
summation glance. “There weren’t that many dishes with you and Dev
not eating.”

Danial nodded, then cracked a smile. “We’re
low maintenance in some ways.” He gave me a hug. “If you get to the
point you want to work from home, just let me know. I can have my
tech guy set you up, so you can do the e-mail.”

I hugged him back. “It’s not you I need a
break from,” I whispered meaningfully.

“I’m know,” he said softly. “Take care.”

* * * *

Theo put his hand in mine as we walked, the
dogs bounding around us, sniffing. “Janice and Ivan certainly
seemed happy.”

I nodded. Janice had become lovely overnight,
the glow of fresh love suffusing her face, making her eyes sparkle.
Ivan was also looking much better. He was no longer the ghost he
had become after his brother’s and Suri’s deaths. “It’s good to see
them in love.” I squeezed Theo’s hand. “It’s also good to see some
signs of spring. It’s good to see some ground, not just unending
whiteness.” I glanced at him. “How about a movie later? There’s
that new remake out—”

He made a face. “I don’t like the ending.
There’s no justice.”

Darkly, I thought to myself that was
realistic. Sometimes the wronged didn’t find justice, even after a
long hard road, being brave, and fighting like hell.

“We need a feel good movie instead,” he
continued. “Something like—”

I suddenly stopped walking and faced him.
“Thank you.”

He took in the tears in my eyes, and quickly
hugged me. “For what?”

“For staying. For not reconsidering, and
deciding that dealing with Devlin is too much.”

“Stop, Sar,” Theo said firmly. “I promised
you, remember? Devlin is too much for me to take most of the time.
Seeing Lash is worse. But I‘m not ever leaving you, especially not
like this. I’ll still be here beside you, years from now—”

“Hold me,” I said jaggedly, as my control
quickly slipped and I began to cry. “I’m a mess, I feel like I’m
falling apart.”

Theo held me in his strong arms and stroked
my hair. “Things will be okay,” he said softly. “Believe me.”

I wanted to believe him, yet I felt deep in
my heart he was wrong.

Chapter
Six

The next morning when we arrived at Dr.
Camlyn’s, Lash and Devlin were there waiting for us.

“Hi,” I said, smiling with effort. “Come to
see your child?”

“Of course,” Devlin purred lovingly. “I
haven’t been to any of these appointments with you since we found
out. I should have been here for them all. I apologize for that.
You were right yesterday in your criticism. I’m going to be a
father soon, and I need to be more serious about that role. It
matters to me that I show you that, Oathed One.”

How could he be so annoying one moment, and
so tender the next? Dealing with him had been so much easier when I
hated him.

“Come with us then,” Theo said curtly.

“Lead the way,” Devlin retorted, unmoving,
his warm expression crystallizing.

Irritated, I strode past them into exam room
one. “Let’s get this over with.”

A few minutes later, we were all watching the
monitor, trying to make sense of the images. “I see two tiny blobs,
I think,” Devlin said finally. “Which one of them is mine?”

“We can’t be sure,” Stephen said patiently.
“We won’t know for certain even later on without doing a blood
test, unless Theo’s child is in cougar form—”

“Can we make sure Sar doesn’t have to deliver
naturally if that happens?” Theo interrupted.

“Yes,” Devlin added, his eyes cutting to
Theo. “If my child is born as Danial’s was, Sar’s going to be hurt
like she was last time. Let’s plan to do a C section.”

“It’s not that simple—” Stephen started.

“It is that simple,” Devlin said firmly. “Sar
doesn’t want any more children after these. If possible, she would
like sterilization surgery right after the births; if not, as soon
after as it can be done. I’m giving my permission for that right
now, and I speak for Danial as well—”

Theo looked so stricken I wanted to crawl
under the table.
Good going, Dev.

“Camlyn,” Devlin continued, looking pointedly
at Stephen. “This is also a chance for you to rectify your
mistake.”

Stephen looked at him warily. “What
mistake?”

“Your papers on Sar’s recovery put her in
danger,” Devlin said. “Those papers exposed the fact that she was
healing. If you hadn’t published them, Perseus and the others would
have left her alone, thinking her barren.”

Stephen shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t
know—”

Devlin glided over to stand in front of
Stephen. “But you do now,” he hissed. “You are going to report that
this pregnancy scarred her so badly that you removed her womb. That
she can’t have any more children, as there’s nothing to heal. You
are also going to make sure surgically, so she and Theo can’t have
any accidents that would show that statement to be a lie.”

Stephen glanced at me. “Sar, is this what you
want?”

“I want not to be pursued anymore,” I said
wearily. “This is the only way.”

“He’s right,” Theo growled. “I wish there
were another way, but he’s right. And it’s what she wants. Do
it.”

“I might be able to do it a week or so after
she gives birth,” Stephen said slowly. “Or directly after the
birth, if everything else is normal...”

Like that would happen. This birth was
probably going to be as abnormal as it got.

“Good,” Devlin said curtly. “So everything is
fine, then? Sar’s healthy?”

Stephen looked back at me. “Have you been
spotting at all?”

“Yes,” I said, feeling very self conscious
and wishing everyone else would leave the room.
Why the hell was
Lash in here anyway?

“I would like to do a pelvic exam, just to
check,” Stephen said. “You’ll need to get undressed.”

“I’ll wait outside,” Lash hissed quickly, and
left, shutting the door behind him softly.

I was so grateful, I almost cried out with
relief as I slipped off my jeans and underwear.

The next few minutes felt like an
eternity.

“You can get dressed,” Stephen said finally,
discarding his gloves. He faced Theo and Devlin, his expression
formal. “Sar’s been spotting because of rough intercourse. I’d
advise all of you to abstain from that from now on.”

“Then why are you looking straight at me?”
Devlin said defensively.

“Because it was likely you,” Stephen replied.
“You don’t need me to tell you your own physical realities at your
age, Devlin.”

Theo’s eyes widened like saucers.

“Stop,” I said wearily. “I consented.”

“Sar, you consent again, and your cervix may
give way,” Stephen said. “You’ll lose the babies if that
happens.”

Shocked, I turned worried eyes to Devlin.

“I’m telling you I wasn’t rough—” Devlin
growled at Stephen, his golden eyes angry.

“It doesn’t matter if you were or weren’t,”
Stephen said, holding Devlin’s gaze. “This is probably what usually
happens when you and she have sex. I’m just advising that it can’t
happen again while she’s pregnant, Devlin.”