Love Comes in Darkness (22 page)

Gordy patted his leg the way he always had. “I know you didn’t mean it.” He started the engine and the truck began to move. “I’m just not sure how to explain things to you in a way you’ll understand.” The truck turned and Howard leaned into the turn. “The past week has been hard, and I think neither of us has been at our best. I’ve needed things to do and have tried to fill the time with puttering, helping you, and working. You’ve been worried about Sophia and dealing with the death of your sister.” Gordy paused. “You may hate me for saying this, but I also think you’ve become used to my help.”

“I know I have, and that’s what scares me. What if you leave and it’s not there any longer? Blind people, just like anyone, lose skills they don’t use.” Howard sighed deeply.

“You know, you’re allowed to be scared. If anyone in the world is allowed that right now, it’s you. In the past week you’ve lost your sister, but you’ve also gained a child, whom you love very much. But there’s more than that. We went from dating and seeing each other a few times a week to spending days together under hard circumstances, so frayed nerves and a little shortness are probably justified.” The truck turned again, then Gordy stopped the truck and turned off the engine.

Howard unfastened Token and got out of the truck. “Where are we?” he asked, listening all around him. He heard cars passing, one after the other, and people talking.

“Just off the main road through town. The restaurant has a deck for seating. There are a lot of stairs,” Gordy told him. “Do you want help or are you okay with Token?”

“I should be fine, but stay close,” he said. Token led him along the walk and to the stairs.

“Twelve steps,” Gordy told him, and Howard began to climb and count. The others were waiting for them at the top, and he followed Token to their table.

“We’re not supposed to feed him,” Sophia said, probably to Hanna. “He’s working.”

“How does he know that?” Hanna asked.

“If he has his harness on, then he knows he’s on duty,” Howard said, sitting down and praising Token as he lay at his feet.

Lunch was nice and companionable. They ordered and then told each other stories while waiting for their food. Once they’d eaten, the adults lingered to talk, and Sophia climbed onto Howard’s lap for some comfort. Howard sang to her softly and he soon realized the others around the table had gone quiet.

After lunch, Sophia asked Howard to ride with her, so he and Token sat on either side of her booster seat in Ken’s car. She fell asleep with Howard holding her hand and Token resting his head in her lap. Once they were back at the house, Howard put her down on the bed he and Gordy had been using, and the guys dismantled her room. They were surprisingly quiet, and Howard spent some time working and trying to stay out of everyone’s way. Sophia slept about an hour, and then she and Hanna played with Token in the backyard until everything was loaded. Then Ken and Patrick said their good-byes. “Are you sure you want Hanna to stay?” Ken asked.

“Of course,” Howard answered. “She and Sophia can have a slumber party on the floor in her room, and you can have a night alone.” It was the very least he could do after everything Ken and Patrick had done for him.

“If you’re sure, then we’ll drop off some things for her later.” There was definitely excitement in Ken’s voice. They left, and Howard spent the day finishing up some work he desperately needed to get done. Gordy sat with him quietly. The tension had dissipated, but Howard couldn’t help the feeling something else was waiting just around the corner. They made a light dinner and were just finishing up when Ken stopped by with a bag for Hanna. The girls had either played in the yard or in Sophia’s empty room for much of the afternoon, and they barely noticed Ken coming and going.

The girls watched a little television until it was time for bed, and then Howard got them settled on piled blankets spread out on the floor. It felt remarkably comfortable to Howard, and once the girls had changed into nightgowns, brushed their teeth, and gotten cleaned up, he said good night. “Uncle Howie, turn out the light,” Sophia said as he was about to leave.

“Good night, you two.” Howard found the switch and pressed it down. He checked the house to make sure the doors were locked, and then went into the room he and Gordy had been using.

“Come to bed,” Gordy whispered, and Howard hurriedly cleaned up and made sure he was presentable in case he had to get up in the middle of the night. He climbed under the covers and heard Token settle in his bed with a small doggie sigh.

“I think he’ll be happy to go home too,” Howard said, rolling over to get comfortable. Unlike the previous nights, Gordy didn’t immediately reach out and pull him close.

“I need to leave pretty early in the morning. My things are packed and I’ll carry them out,” Gordy said.

“What aren’t you saying?” Howard asked.

Gordy shifted in the bed. “There’s been a lot of changes very quickly. Things would be easier if we’d been able to take things slower, but we haven’t. Not that I regret coming with you or anything, but you have Sophia now. And I know you’ve decided what you’re going to do and that’s great, but….” Gordy sighed. “You need to decide what you want and the kind of life you want.”

“Are you leaving me?” Howard asked. He’d figured something like this would happen.

“I’m giving you time to figure out what you want for both you and Sophia. You need to be able to think and figure out what’s important.”

“So you’re acting like Cedric and dumping me far from home?” Howard asked.

“No, I’m not,” Gordy said. “I’m trying to let you do what you’ve always said was important to you. Do you remember that first day we met? You and Cedric had had a fight because you wanted your independence and he wanted to control your life. Well, you need to figure out what your independence means now that you have Sophia too.”

“I don’t understand,” Howard said and sat up.

“Think of it as a few days to decide what you want,” Gordy said, lightly stroking his back. “Howard, I want you to be happy, but I don’t think you know what will make you happy. Ten days ago you might have known, but too much has changed.” Gordy sighed. “And I have to decide what I want.”

Howard lay back down, but the tension stayed in his body. He rested near the edge of the mattress, trying to sleep and failing for hours. A few times he thought he might have heard movement from the other room, but no one called out. Eventually he fell asleep. He woke to a quiet house and an empty bed. He reached for the bedside table and encountered a piece of paper. He ran his fingers over the Braille letters. Gordy must have used his computer and embosser.

Howard

I didn’t want to wake you, you looked beautiful asleep and peaceful. I’ll see you in a few days and we can talk everything over. Please don’t worry, and I promise to call you when I get back to Pleasanton.

Gordy

“Uncle Howie,” Sophia said, and he sat up, setting the note aside. “We’re hungry.”

“Of course you are,” Howard said and got up. He pulled on a robe and headed to the kitchen. His phone rang while he was on his way, and Sophia hurried to get it. She answered it and handed it to him.

“It’s Uncle Ken,” Sophia said and left the room. Howard heard her and Hanna playing together, giggling like crazy as he placed the phone to his ear.

“I take it they’re awake,” Ken said, and Howard yawned before answering. “We’re on our way over and we’ll stop for coffee and food.”

“Thank God,” Howard said prayerfully. “They’re having a good time, but I’ve already been informed that they’re hungry.”

Ken chuckled. “Hold down the fort; we’re on our way.”

Howard hung up the phone and felt around for a chair. Then he plunked himself down in it and listened to the laughter in the house, wishing instead it was the deep rumbly voice of a certain person who he was increasingly sure he didn’t want to live without.

I
T
TOOK
another day to hear from the lawyer that the judge had signed off on the temporary custody. Howard had been told the judge wasn’t happy that Howard was taking Sophia out of the county, or to hear that he was blind. “But your sister’s wishes were clear,” his lawyer had told him, “and he wasn’t willing to break her will. I think the old coot was afraid of all the paperwork that would come with it.” As long as Howard got what he wanted, the rest didn’t matter.

The lawyer had brought over the papers, and Howard breathed a sigh of relief. They were nearly done with the packing and all their things were loaded into the trunk and backseat of Lizzy’s Mustang. Patrick was going to drive that car, along with Howard and Token, while Ken drove his own car with the two girls. Howard figured he and Patrick were getting off easy.

Howard settled everything with Mrs. Jorgenson. Now that they’d taken what they wanted, she was going to handle the sale of the rest and that would be that. The Realtor would start showing the house in a week or so.

Saturday morning, they all got breakfast and piled in the cars. Howard left his keys on the counter and got in the car with Token. As they pulled away, he hoped Sophia was okay with leaving the house for the last time, and he was pleased when his phone remained silent.

The ride was just as quiet. Howard hadn’t thought five hours in a car with a man who couldn’t speak could last so long. Howard loved Patrick to death, but they communicated through touch, and that wasn’t possible while Patrick was driving. He could ask questions that required a yes or no answer, but that was tedious for both of them, so Howard rode quietly after choosing a radio station they both liked. They listened to music for hours until Patrick signaled that they were close to home. They began making familiar turns, and Howard knew exactly where they were. Token seemed to as well, because he perked up from where he’d spent most of the trip, lying next to him on the seat. A few minutes later, Patrick pulled to a stop and turned off the engine. Howard got out and inhaled deeply. It even smelled like home. He unlatched Token and he jumped out of the car. “Token, come,” Howard said.

“He’s peeing,” Sophia told him and then hugged his legs. “Is this where I live now?”

“Yes. Token, come,” he repeated, and Token came over, brushing Howard’s left leg. “Let’s go inside and you can see your new room. It isn’t much right now, but I promise you can paint it whatever color you like, and we’ll get curtains for you too.” God, he was going to need help with that, but he bet Patrick’s cousin Julianne would love to decorate Sophia’s room.

“Do you want us to start carrying things in?” Ken asked.

“Actually, you can just park the car. You don’t need to unload everything, and I need to know what’s where.” If he lost track of things, he’d never be able to find them again on his own, and he already knew exactly what was packed where in the car. The car started, and Howard heard it move. “Thank you both so much for everything,” Howard told Patrick when he heard him walk up. He hugged him tightly and got a deep hug in return. “You are an amazing friend and I’m so lucky to have you, all of you, in my life.”

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ken told him as he came up, and Howard hugged him as well.

“Thank you for giving Sophia the drawing. I’ll make sure it’s hung in her room. She doesn’t know it now, but I’m sure it’ll mean more and more to her,” Howard told Ken.

“I hope so.” Ken released him and stepped back. “Come to dinner next weekend. It’ll give the girls some time together, and by then you’ll be screaming for some adult conversation.”

“Thanks,” Howard said gratefully. Patrick and Ken said good-bye again, and Howard stood in the summer breeze and listened to them get in their car. The engine started, and Howard waved. He wasn’t sure if they could see him, but he waved anyway. “Let’s go inside,” he told Sophia. He extended his hand, and she took it. Howard walked between her and Token, the familiar sections of sidewalk under his feet and then his steps and porch—he was home.

Howard unlocked the door, and they stepped inside. Almost instantly Howard began to cough and his eyes watered. “What’s that smell?” Sophia asked.

“Paint,” Howard said and turned, opening the nearest window. “Sophia,” he called as she let go of his hand. He followed the fumes and found the door to what would be Sophia’s room open.

The scream was almost deafening. Howard thought something was wrong until he realized she was jumping up and down. Sophia screamed again, and this time he recognized it as the height of six-year-old joy. “It’s pink. My room is pink!” She raced into the room, her feet stomping on the floor. Then he heard the bed squeak. “Uncle Howie, it’s, it’s….” She squealed again, and Howard stepped into the room. The smell of paint was intense, and he released Token’s harness and located the window, then unlocked and raised it to air out the room.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Howard said, and his heart soared. To hear those exclamations coming from her were amazing and the most joyful noise he’d ever heard. “But don’t jump on the bed,” Howard said, and the squeaking instantly stopped.

“How did you know?” she asked him, and Howard stepped toward her voice and lifted her into his arms and then down onto the floor.