Love for the Cold-Blooded (48 page)

It wasn’t a great mystery what she was going to say, which was just as well, because she never finished her sentence. A thick stream of Hero’s Bane shot from the ceiling, meeting a column that sprang from the floor at Ariadne’s feet. She had no chance of escape; in the space of a breath, the amber had hardened around her.

Ariadne made the finest statue yet. She’d been caught in a pose that was as elegant as it was heroic: crouched slightly in readiness, balanced lightly on the soles of her feet with her trademark yarn at the ready — prepared for anything her opponent might throw at her. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders in pleasing disarray, and her face was set in fierce reproach, gaze fixed proudly on the middle distance.

But Pat had no more than a bare instant in which to admire Ariadne’s crystal form. Immediately after the shell of Hero’s Bane hardened around her, liquid amber obscured Pat’s view. It continued to pour from its valves in both floor and ceiling, spilling over the crystal and flowing onto the dais and down the ledge of the top step.

They definitely weren’t in Plan A territory anymore.

At the rate the amber was pouring down, it would hardly be a moment before it reached the main throne room. Pat waved wildly at his Sluts to retreat; up on the dais, Mom and Hell were heading away from the freely flowing Hero’s Bane to the far side of the steps down.

The amber didn’t crystallize without anyone to shape itself around, but it did slowly harden as it flowed. It reminded Pat of something from a documentary on volcano eruptions he’d once seen, where a stream of molten lava had made its way down a mountainside. It had been nearly as thin and liquid as water at first, and had run just as fast; as contact with the earth and air cooled it, it had thickened and slowed more and more, eventually turning into a sluggish mass that crept forward with painful slowness.

“This is the hour of your downfall, Dread Serpent!” Nexus roared.

Nexus had made use of everyone’s distraction to get to her aircycle, which lay overturned where Serpentissima had tossed it against the wall. Now, the hero righted it with a mighty heave and jumped on, revving the motor and rising into the air like a ragged demon of vengeance. Hero’s Bane flooded the spot where the cycle had been a mere instant after Nexus took to the air, throwing bubbles as it splashed against the stone wall in what almost seemed like the liquid equivalent of ‘drat, foiled again’.

Serpentissima whipped around with blinding speed. She evaded the attacking aircycle once, with a lightning sideways twist of her body; twice, dipping nearly to the ground to duck beneath Nexus’ pass. But Nexus had caught her in a bad position. She had already started down the steps, and had limited space to maneuver; the wall was at her right, and she was hemmed in on the other side by the spurting fount of amber and the quickly-expanding river making its way down to the cavern. She couldn’t retreat the way she’d come because Hero’s Bane was spreading very quickly on the dais, and soon it’d be impossible for someone of her size to move up there without touching it with their belly or the tip of a tail. Serpentissima had to go forward — but Nexus was everywhere in her path, weaving her aircycle through the air in a net as impenetrable as any Ariadne could have fashioned.

As Pat watched, his mom’s tail sliced through the air like a whip, lashing over her shoulder as she ducked with inhuman agility. She struck the side of Nexus’ cycle a glancing blow, tried to follow up with a second strike that couldn’t have failed to bring the hoagie down. But the hit never connected. Nexus rolled her cycle in midair — which, who did that, was she insane? That shouldn’t even have been possible! — and batted the tip of Serpentissima’s tail aside with enough force to knock it all the way into the column of Hero’s Bane pouring from the ceiling.

A low gasp went up from the Sluts clustered around Pat. Pat himself was too shocked to make a sound.

Before he could begin to panic, Serpentissima had drawn back her tail, lashing it threateningly through the air. A large crystal glittered at the tip.

Pat’s relief was intense, but layered thickly with apprehension. This was not a good situation.

Nexus laid down a constant barrage of laser fire as she spun and dodged through the air, never repeating the same maneuver twice. Serpentissima couldn’t dodge all the shots, hemmed in as she was, but it didn’t matter; her scales deflected laser rays as effectively as bullets. Nexus must have known that too, yet she didn’t stop shooting. Energy sparked off Serpentissima’s chest, her side, her throat and face; all the way down her belly, sweeping from side to side…

She was looking for a weak spot, Pat realized. If Nexus could find a chink in Serpentissima’s armor… a spot she could then target with her cycle, perhaps, driving straight at it as she had tried to right at the start…

No. No — Pat had no idea whether or not some areas of his mother’s scales were more vulnerable than others, but he wasn’t willing to stand around and find out like this. There had to be something he could do. Something —

But he never got the chance to do more than look around, searching frantically for inspiration.

Pat glimpsed her from the corner of one eye, a mere hint of rapidly working limbs and grim purpose, racing low over the cavern floor. Hell! He’d lost track of her — hadn’t even realized she’d come down into the cavern.

He turned his head just in time to watch her launch into the air, levering herself upwards with what looked like a bamboo cane from one of the plants.

It was as though Pat were watching events unfold in slow motion, with time enough to observe every detail. How Hell’s hands gripped the improvised pole; how her battle suit gleamed with reflected laser fire. How she rose into the air, perfectly balanced, feet swinging forward as she arched higher. Hell was beautiful and terrifying, a primal, unstoppable force. A glorious sight to behold.

She let go of the bamboo pole at the zenith of her arch. It clattered unheeded to the ground before the lowest step to the dais while she hurtled through the air, aimed right at the spot where Nexus and Serpentissima were locked in battle.

Hell couldn’t have known where Nexus’s random weaving would take her, couldn’t have anticipated that she would be in the spot that Hell aimed herself at like a missile. She couldn’t have known… and yet she did.

Nexus was at the low point of one of her maneuvers when Hell reached her. She turned right into Hell’s path, not realizing her danger.

A loud, solid thunk sounded as Hell’s boots connected with the hero’s side. With the force of Hell’s momentum behind it, the impact was devastating. Nexus was torn from her cycle, carried straight into the still-flowing stream of Hero’s Bane, where she caught up against the frozen form of Ariadne and immediately crystallized.

Hell couldn’t stop in mid-air, of course. She followed Nexus into the amber, hardening to crystal in almost the same instant.

Hell’s crystal ended up on top of Nexus’ when they both clattered to the ground. Pat only caught a short unimpeded glimpse before the ever-flowing amber obscured it, but her fierce, triumphant grin was impossible to miss.

“Hell yeah!” Pat punched a fist into the air, beaming with victory and pride. He’d always known his big sister would make an awesome challenger one day — he just hadn’t realized she was already there.

In the stunned silence after Nexus’ aircycle crashed against the cavern wall, someone began to clap. Tom, Pat saw when he looked around. The other Serpent Sluts joined in after a brief delay. There were even a few whoops, and more than a few cries of “Hell yeah” that echoed Pat’s earlier outburst. Too bad Hell couldn’t hear the accolades right now, but it was fine. Once they’d thawed her out, she’d be able to watch the recordings of the moment as many times as she liked, from a dozen different angles and in stereo surround sound.

Pat hoped Hell would appreciate her new catchphrase. He was rather thrilled with himself for coming up with something so brilliant — and on the fly, too, without even thinking about it first. Hell yeah, indeed.

Serpentissima glided down from the dais, sinuously making her way between the thick, sluggish trail of congealing Hero’s Bane and various bits of the debris that now littered the cavern. From the side of the cavern, faithful Marlene wound swiftly to her side; the crafty old snake had managed to free herself from Ariadne’s bindings. Serpentissima stooped to hold out a hand, letting her climb up to her shoulders, and Marlene settled with comfortable familiarity, bumping her head against her old comrade’s jaw with casual affection.

There was no glow of power about Serpentissima now — after the pitched battle she had just fought, she needed time to regenerate. Even her unbound hair was curling and uncurling with markedly less energy than before. Her gown was ripped at the shoulder and blackened by laser fire all along the front; the fine scales of her belly were darkened and discolored in some places, bruised by impact where Nexus’ aircycle must have swiped her, and singed by the heavy artillery Nexus had brought to bear. But for all that she looked singed and tired, Serpentissima’s smile was as slow, sure and wicked as ever.

The Serpent Rising swept a slow glance over her severely diminished ranks. Every one of the remaining minions was a Serpent Slut. Pat couldn’t help but feel a fierce surge of pride at the fact. Sure, they’d soon have Zen and the others peeled out of their yarn cocoons, but right now, Pat’s underlings were the last minions standing. Pretty damn cool, right?

Pat fistpumped in triumph and gave his mom his best cocky grin. She failed to fistpump back, but he was pretty sure he caught her mouth quirking with amusement.

“You have distinguished yourselves greatly, my loyal minions,” Serpentissima said to all of them. The proud, triumphant gleam of her eye as she inclined her head made every Slut’s back straighten, chins coming up with new confidence. “The courage and strength you have shown this day will live on in my memory forever. It’s been an extraordinary showdown so far, and we have mastered all challenges to come our way. That not everything has gone according to plan — what of that? That’s why we have Plan B. We shall face many additional challenges before the day is done, and we shall master them all with the same spirit.”

Under the cover of a spontaneous smattering of applause, Pat crept forward and leaned in conspiratorially, beckoning to his mom until she bent down so he could whisper in her ear. “Hey, so… What exactly is Plan B again?”

Marlene stretched up to touch a mocking tongue to the tip of his nose, even as Serpentissima tousled his hair reprovingly. “Why, Plan B is always the same, Patrick. Improvise.” The grin she wore as she reared back to her full height reminded Pat (strangely) of himself.

Her gaze slid over Pat’s shoulder to fix on something behind him — something located just where the passages to the labs were — and her expression transformed into an exultant glow.

“Our additional challenges await, my minions.” The deep, foreboding resonance and sibilant echoes were back in Serpentissima’s voice, slithering through the cavern in a hissing whisper. Her scales were beginning to glow, surrounding her with a faint bronze nimbus that announced she had already gained new energy. “It is time for us to see to our remaining guests.”

Pat whirled to see Silver Paladin and Captain Cool framed in the mouth of the passageway. For one endless, adrenaline-suspended moment they seemed to hover motionlessly in stock heroic poses, Silver Paladin stretched out mid-flight, Captain Cool bent low over the handlebars of his CoolCycle. Then, the world lurched back into motion and the heroes burst into the cavern proper, veering away from each other at once so as not to offer an easy target.

It was a little embarrassing how Pat’s heart leapt at the sight of Silver Paladin. Still, it had been a few days — they’d both been busy, and hadn’t found the time to meet up. So on reflection, nah. Not embarrassing at all.

Pat’s attention clung so insistently to Silver Paladin (who, in Pat’s defense, was looking particularly trim, silver and hot) that it took him a moment to realize Captain Cool wasn’t the only person on the CoolCycle. Behind Cap, a large angular crystal was strapped to the seat: Cea, frozen in the act of making a spirited indecent gesture with both hands (which, by the way, was a thing of brilliance and beauty, and the reason why she was Pat’s favorite middle sister of all times).

It took Pat another moment to register that both Silver Paladin and Captain Cool were somewhat the worse for wear. Nothing seemed to have gotten through Silver Paladin’s force fields, but they hummed more loudly than usual, with a slight irregular hitch to the sound. Cap Cool’s usually immaculate costume was streaked with what appeared to be green slime, and the CoolCycle’s chrome mufflers and extended handlebars were scraped and dented.

And then Silver Paladin’s visor turned towards Pat, and his jaw dropped open in shocked recognition. It actually, literally dropped. Pat hadn’t thought that ever happened, outside of metaphor.

Pat could see the word coalesce in the man’s mind, could watch it leap from his brain to his mouth. In fact, his mouth was already opening — drawing in breath to bark out the same damn word every hoagie in the entire damn world invariably barked out on catching sight of Pat, as though the letters were tattooed on his forehead along with the instructions ‘to be shouted in a tone of moral outrage’.

“Yes, it’s me!” Pat yelled wildly, cutting him off. “It’s me, alright? Don’t say it, for the gods’ sake!”

Nick snapped his mouth shut and didn’t say it, or anything else.

The silence was absolute, but very brief.

“
You!
” Serpentissima roared.

Chapter Seventeen

All things come to those who lurk. Skulking is also an option.

“Y
our scent is all over my son’s lair!” Serpentissima was still roaring; Pat had to fight the urge to cover his ears. Her tail lashed back and forth with more agitation than she’d shown during the entire battle with Nexus and Ariadne. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you? You’re the young man he’s been seeing!
You!
”