Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Her Unexpected Cowboy\His Ideal Match\The Rancher's Secret Son (13 page)

* * *

Rowdy just stood there and watched Lucy ride away.

Telling her the truth had been a really bad idea. Worst idea of the decade—aside from his involvement with Liz.

He'd known he was doomed the moment the confession came out of his mouth. But regardless of the churning in his gut, he'd known that he had to come clean. And despite the look of accusation that had crept into Lucy's eyes, he'd forced himself to be honest even as he realized it was going to cost him all of Lucy's respect.

It hit him that she probably felt as foolish as he had when she'd learned that her husband hadn't been faithful.

Her tears glistening on her long, dark lashes had finished him off, making him feel every bit the dirt-bag that he was.

Lucy was better off without him. As she disappeared over the ridge, he knew she deserved so much more than him.

Truth was, if they hadn't had this conversation—or attempted to have this conversation—he might have continued to let himself believe that she could actually have been the one he was waiting on.

Suddenly bone weary, Rowdy walked over and stared at the creek. And he started praying.

Chapter Fifteen

R
owdy McDermott was a womanizer just like Tim had been.

Men could not be trusted.

Oh, they were fine if you just didn't get personal with them. And she'd already gotten far too personal with Rowdy. She'd planned all along to keep him at arm's length, but the man had forced himself into this new life. That was the thing that really had her angry.

It wasn't as if she'd asked him to come around.

No, he'd manipulated her. Toyed with her.

Her worst mistakes seemed destined to repeat themselves on an endless loop.

She was thankful that the ranch appeared deserted when she got back to the barn. Walter Pepper called, “Hello,” from the end of the barn when she rode in. Thankfully he seemed busy with a horse. He told her to just tie Cupcake to the stall and he'd take care of her.

Since Lucy had no idea what to do to take care of the horse anyway, she gladly agreed and ran to her truck. She couldn't get home soon enough.

Painting was the answer—she needed to work, needed the release painting had always been for her up until the aftermath of Tim's betrayal and the fire had stolen it from her. Thank goodness the studio was almost done. Thank goodness she had a renewed passion for the work and the release it offered her.

Whether she was painting anything saleable didn't matter—she was as mad as she'd ever been.

Where had all these problems come from? She'd arrived here with one goal—to get rid of the anger eating up inside. The wall destruction had helped, or so she'd thought. But she knew now that it had only been a temporary fix. The anger was like a living thing eating away inside of her. Hearing Rowdy confess that he, too, was a womanizing fool had relit that fire to a blazing inferno.

Men!

Of course, she knew infidelity wasn't completely limited to men. Women had the same dysfunction. Her mother had proved that—over and over.

Her dad had moved on. He was extremely happy with his new wife and Lucy was happy for him. He deserved to be happy. Still, what her mother had put them through had ended Lucy's childhood.

She was so thankful she and Tim hadn't had children.

At least there was that.

Pulling her paint box from the storage box, she saw the picture album beneath it.

Lucy hadn't realized she'd packed it. She just stared at it in the bottom of the box. Her fingers trembled as she lifted it out. She knew what was inside. Pictures of the lie she'd lived.

If the burn pile had been going, she'd have walked straight out the door and tossed the album in the fire.

Instead, she sat it against the wall. She was moving forward, not back. And pictures of her and Tim had no place in her future. Whatever good times they'd had were wiped away the day his “female friend” had walked into her room at the burn center and spilled her story.

Funny, Lucy thought it was supposed to be the victim who took revenge. But it had been the opposite way in her story.

Of course in Rowdy's story, it was as it should be. The spouse got the lick in—or she should say the fist.

Good for that guy.

* * *

“What's gotten into you?” his dad asked a few days after he and Lucy had had their fight. They were separating calves out to take to the cattle sale and his dad had decided that today would be a good day to get out of the office. Rowdy had a feeling it was to look over his shoulder. His next statement proved him right.

“You've been hard to live with and work with the past few days, so the men have said. What's bothering you?”

Yeah, he was ornery. That was for certain.

Why had he agreed to help Lucy milk a wild heifer?

After they'd parted ways, she'd shown back up for practice because the rodeo was coming up and she was determined to keep her end of the bargain.

“The stubborn woman wants to milk the wild heifer. And I'm afraid she's going to get hurt.”

Randolph moved with his horse as it danced to stop a calf from escaping back to the group of cattle they'd just taken it from.

“You'll take care of her. The guys will control the calf.”

Rowdy scowled and his dad laughed.

“You and I both know those cows we put in there aren't range heifers. They are going to be more scared than wild. Wes, Tony and Joseph will have no trouble.”

Rowdy stared out across the pasture. His dad was right, but he still didn't like it.

“How deep are you in?”

At his dad's question, Rowdy met his gaze. There was concern etched in the creases around his eyes.

“Deep.” There was no use denying what he knew his dad could see. He was in love with Lucy Calvert.

A smile flashed across Randolph's face. “Lucy's a good match for you. Your mother would be pleased.”

His heart tightened as he thought about his mother—of all the years he'd longed to make her proud of him. He took a deep breath and held his father's gaze. “It's not that simple. Let's get these in the pen and then I'll tell you about it.”

They worked with Chet, their top hand, and the other ranch hands getting the calves into the holding pen. When they were done, Rowdy and his dad loaded their horses up in the trailer and then rode back in the truck together.

“So what's really got you twisted in knots?”

Rowdy raked his hand through his hair and let out a breath before confiding Lucy's background. It wasn't his story to tell, but his father was a man of great integrity.

“You're not going to just walk away from this?” Randolph asked when he was done.

“I don't want to, but Lucy has already been through enough. She doesn't need me and my messed-up background reminding her of what her no-good husband did to her. The man took away her ability to trust. If she stays like she is, she could end up alone for the rest of her life.”

“
I'm
alone and managing fine. But I'm twentysomething years older than she is, I figure. So I'd hate to see that happen. Are you going to let it happen?”

“What can I do?”

“You can help her learn to trust again. You can start by being there for her.”

“She's barely speaking to me now.”

“Then what do you have to lose? If you're serious about this new walk with the Lord, then you have to do this because of the man you've become. Not the man you were. You made a mistake. The difference is you've changed and are holding yourself accountable for your actions now. That's all you can do other than keep proving yourself trustworthy.”

* * *

“You're sure you're ready for this tomorrow night?” Nana asked Lucy. They were in the Spotted Cow Café or, as the men and the boys liked to call it, the Cow Patty Café because of the painted brown spots gone wrong on the concrete floor.

Lucy stared at a dancing-cow figurine sitting on the table. It was one of an abundant cow paraphernalia collection that practically hid the walls of the café, there were so many. “I think so. All I have to do is get a drop of milk. The fellas are going to take care of the cow.”

“Yeah, but who is gonna take care of you?” Edwina slapped a hand to her hip. “I've seen those cow-milking contests. Grown men fall underneath the animal thinking for some reason it might be easier to milk the cow lying on their back while getting stomped on.” She shook her head. “No, sister, this is not a good idea. And to think I took you for an intelligent sort the first time I saw you.”

Lucy chuckled. “Edwina, I am not going to get stomped on. Rowdy told me not to go for the bag until he gives me the go-ahead. So rest easy, I'm not getting thrown under the cow.”

Edwina made a face that clearly said she didn't believe it, and then left to take an order from a herd of cowboys on the far side of the café.

Ms. Jo had come out of the kitchen and heard the last half of the conversation. “Ed get you straightened out?” she asked, sliding into the booth beside Nana.

“No, but she gave it a good try,” Lucy said.

The diner door was yanked opened and Mabel came hustling inside. “The Dew Drop Inn's been busier than an ant colony today,” she declared, squeezing her large-framed body into the booth seat beside Lucy.

“With all these ranch-rodeo teams arriving, this should be a good weekend for the town.”

“Café's been swamped, too.” Ms. Jo fanned herself. “The pie baking's been going nonstop.”

Jolie came over from the jukebox just as Blake Shelton started singing “Austin.” “I love this song. It's an old one but just makes me think of happy endings,” she said.

Mabel had taken Jolie's spot, so she pulled up a chair.

“Speaking of happy endings.” Mabel turned her full attention toward Lucy. Now, Mabel was a good size bigger than Lucy, and she'd effectively trapped Lucy in the booth. There was nowhere to go.

“Look, I know y'all are all hoping that something happens between Rowdy and me, but it's not going to.”

Ms. Jo's eyebrows squeezed together and a V formed above her glasses. “You cannot tell us you don't like that good-looking cowboy.”

Everyone started talking at once about how right they were for each other. After they'd all quieted down, she told them her story. She couldn't believe she'd held it in so long.

“Of all the horrible things.” Mabel's voice was gentle as she threw an arm around Lucy and gave her a hug. “That brings back memories.”

“Tell her, Mabel,” Jolie said, and everyone echoed her.

Ms. Jo gave Mabel a nod. “If anyone knows how you feel, it's Mabel. She didn't have a fire, but she got a raw deal.”

Lucy was curious now. She knew that Mabel had never been married.

“I was in love once, a long time ago. Paul was a handsome cowboy with a smile that could turn girls' insides to jelly. I knew better than to be foolish enough to fall for the man, but sometimes a heart will do what a heart wants to do and there's nothing you can do about it.”

“Tell me about it,” Edwina said as she passed by. “I've done fell for three men and not a winner in the bunch.” Shaking her head, she kept right on moving toward the kitchen with a new order.

“On this I have to agree with Ed. Paul took my heart and then he decided mine wasn't enough and so he took a few more on the side. Deception is a tough thing to overcome.” Her usual jovial good humor was gone. “After I discovered what he'd been doing, I gave him ‘what for' every which way I could. That poor man thought his life was in danger. It
was.
But I decided breaking him into pieces wasn't going to help ease my pain any, so I watched him ride away. And I can tell you losing the desire to trust another man like that is a shame.”

Lucy wrapped her hand around Mabel's and gave a supportive squeeze. Mabel slipped her hand out and covered Lucy's and continued talking. “There are times when I do regret that I let him take that away from me.”

Jolie looked sad; her beautiful green eyes misted. “I almost did that to Morgan, and it is the regret of my life that I hurt him when I chose my career over him and left. God had a plan for us, but if I hadn't come back, there was a very good possibility he might never have married.”

Lucy was shocked by both stories. She wasn't sure what to say. “I'm glad it worked out for you and Morgan, Jolie. Mabel, what happened to Paul? Did you ever see him again?”

She tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head. “Never did. Never wanted to. I've been happy for the most part. I have my mission trips that I'm called to do and I have my Dew Drop Inn and believe me, folks do drop in.” Her eyes sparkled. “That place keeps me busy. God's been very good to me. And to be honest, I have no problem with men in general. There are men in this town whom I trust with all my heart. Those McDermott men are four of them. Don't mean I want to fall in love with any of them, though. There's not anyone I want to fall in love with—I'm too old now anyway. But I'm telling you, girl, you need to think long and hard about letting your heart harden up like you're doing.”

“You know, that's right,” Nana said at last. “Rowdy is my grandson and I love that boy dearly. And I'm not making excuses for him, but he took his momma's death hard. He has a lot to offer a woman and I think the woman who wins his heart is going to be a very blessed woman.”

Lucy suddenly felt as though she was being ganged up on. And she wasn't sure what to think about that. It wasn't as if they were trying to fix her up. They just all thought so much of Rowdy that she felt the pressure tenfold to decide that she was wrong.

“It's something I don't know if I can do. Honestly, I do have feelings for him. I think that's why I'm so mad at him.”

At her words all eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

“Hold on. I'm just saying that's why this is so hard. Because he's very lovable. And I am not saying I'm in love. I'm saying— Oh, I don't know what I'm saying! I'm about as confused as a woman can be.”

Mabel patted her hand. “There, there. We'll just pray that God's will be done. You just try to keep an open heart.”

All the way home, Lucy thought about that. How could she keep an open heart when she was terrified of doing exactly that?

She hadn't told them the truth, either. The whole story. Just like she hadn't told Rowdy. Ever since she'd begun to have these conflicting emotions concerning him, she'd found herself lingering in front of the mirror and staring at the burns that covered her body. It was more than she could ask of any man.

She could barely look at them herself.