Authors: Debra Clopton
He'd finally admitted that out loud, and the truth brought his own measure of much-needed freedomâand possibilities. Could it be possible that God's timing really was perfect? That if somehow Emma had pushed past her own instincts and morals, and made a life with him right away when she'd come home, that he wouldn't have made it where he was now? Maybe if he'd had Emma and everything he'd wanted right away, he wouldn't have grown closer to the Lord as he had in those tumultuous years. Wouldn't have started Camp Hope. Wouldn't have the message and testimony that had changed so many lives.
He didn't know for sure, and never would. But he believed that God hadn't left themâany of themâin the meantime. And that good was being worked regardless.
Cody's gaze bounced back and forth between them, as if feeling out their sincerity. Then the hardness cracked, and he licked his lips, a hitch in his voice. “I didn't mean that, Mom. About, you know...not wanting you.”
She quickly closed her eyes as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I know.”
Max wished he could hug her, or better yet, somehow prompt Cody to, but that would come. This elephant was going to take a bite at a time. At least Cody seemed off the ledge now, and maybe he'd finally find some healing and move forward.
With both of them.
“I don't know why I'm the way I am.” Cody's voice, so timid now, was nearly lost in the hum of the heater. “I just don't want to do this anymore.”
Emma stiffened. “Do what?”
“You know...the bad stuff. Getting in trouble. It started out just trying to make friends. Be accepted.” He sniffed, his jaw set. “It got out of control. And I couldn't stop. I had to keep up.”
“You don't have to keep up anymore, Cody.” Max shifted forward, heart full. “You can start making better choices today. You don't have to go home the same.” He hesitated. “It just takes work, son. Are you ready to do the work now?”
Suddenly, Cody sprang to his feet, but not with the eagerness Max had hoped he'd show. No, this expression was nothing if not sheer panic. “Wait. You've got to find Jarvis!”
“That's what we've been trying to tell you.” Max stood as well, trying to switch gears as abruptly as Cody had. “Do you know where he is?”
“No. We split up once we cleared the property line. But you've got to find him!” Cody pointed outside with fear in his eyes. “He's going to start a fire.”
Chapter Twenty
E
mma didn't even have time to bask in the longed-for moment of Cody's breakthrough. She followed Max and Cody outside as Max rushed to use a walkie-talkie to alert Luke to Jarvis's plan. Her son felt so good tucked under her armâit seemed as though she hadn't been able to touch him in months, despite their goodbye hug the first day of camp. She squeezed him a little tighter on instinct, and he leaned slightly into her embrace before regaining his usual stance.
She'd take what she could get, and she'd love every second of it.
There were still too many pressing questions hounding her mind. What now? What next? But she refused to answer any of them, determined to be content to just stand beside her son and watch the chaos unfold before her as news spread about Jarvis's plans.
Max jogged back toward them. “Cody, do you know where he was going to start the fire?” His eyes were wide with concern, yet his stature confident as Brady and the lingering men filed in behind him. A rush of emotion spread through Emma's stomach. She would have never dreamed that Maxâ
her
Maxâwould one day exhibit such desirable traits, would one day be in charge and leading a worthwhile group rather than following the lead of others with ill intent.
But he wasn't hers anymore.
The emotion morphed to pain. Maybe there was something to be said for God's timing, but it was too late for her and Max. She needed to put any hope of such craziness out of her mind immediately, or she might never recover. She still had to focus on her and Cody, and doing what was best for her son.
Even if that meant leaving Broken Bend for the second time.
Max spoke in a clipped tone into Luke's walkie-talkie, then handed it back. “We're going to have to spread out again. He could be planning to hit the dorms, or anywhere in the forest, orâ”
A sudden orange glow filled the window of the stables, and Emma's heart jump-started. “Or the barn.”
Max jerked his head toward the stables, and his confident demeanor vanished. “Fire!”
Immediately, the men on the property sprang into action. Brady called 9-1-1 while Max and the others ran toward the barn and began hauling hay, buckets and other miscellaneous objects away from the perimeter. Thankfully the barn was empty of animals since all of the horses were on the trail ride or on the search party.
Tires squealed, and Emma looked in time to see Caley peeling out of the driveway in Brady's truck, gassing it toward the road.
“Where's she going?” Cody craned his head, but the only thing that remained was the dust stirred from the sudden departure.
“She's a volunteer firefighter. I bet she's going to get her gear.” She held Cody close, and this time, he didn't pull away as more flames began to lick the sides of the barn, threatening to devour the structure in a mass of gold, tangerine and crimson light.
“I didn't mean for this to happen, Mom.” Panic laced his voice, and he turned and muffled his words into her shoulder. “I was just so mad. And Jarvis heard me railing about you and Max and said he had an idea for revenge. I didn't really thinkâ”
Emma shushed him, running her fingers through his golden-blond hair. “It's okay, Cody. We'll work this out.” She wrapped her arms around him. “This isn't your fault. You didn't light the match.”
Mama Jeanie and Ava came outside and stood on the porch, Mama Jeanie's face a mask of disbelief as she tucked Ava against her side. “I never.”
Emma had never seen anything like it, either. She knew these teens came from troubled backgroundsâclearlyâbut to set fire to the camp, to try to hurt Max so intentionally when all he'd done was want the best for them...it broke her heart.
She could only imagine how he feltâand on top of the personal whammy she'd already handed him, no less. Guilt crept up her insides like the flames crept up the barn toward the roof.
“I've got him!” Brady came around the far side of the flaming building, Jarvis's arm caught in Brady's unyielding grip. “And his book of matches.”
Max's lips pressed together in a firm line as he took the book from Brady. “Take him to his room please, and have Tim monitor him.” He met Jarvis's gaze, which didn't hold for long as the boy lowered his eyes in defeat. “I'll deal with youâand your parentsâlater.”
Jarvis shuffled off with Tim, but not before sending Cody a scalding glance. Cody met his gaze head-on and didn't back downâneither did he puff up, ready for a fight.
Emma leaned to whisper to him. “You did the right thing, telling MaxâI mean, your dadâabout the fire.”
“I know.” He shrugged a little, eyes still focused on Jarvis's back. “Doesn't make it easy.”
“That's true.” She watched Max step back as the firefighters arrived and took over the scene, took in his crestfallen expression as he stood with his hands resting on top of his head. “Right is rarely easy, baby.”
* * *
Hours later, Max and Emma sat under the starlit sky on the porch, surrounded by leftover plastic cups of cider, remnants of chocolate chip cookies and the lingering scent of smoke. The fire, while contained to one portion of the barn thanks to the quick discovery and the prompt arrival of the fire department, only did minimal damage. The campers had all gone to bed for the night, way past their scheduled time, with grim faces. Jarvis's family had taken him home a little while ago, juvenile detention the next stop on his particular journey. It seemed the teen's choices had shaken them all up, especially Katie, who came to Emma after the chaos had dimmed.
“I have a confession,” she'd whispered, her red hair dusted with ash that continued to float from the barn roof. “I haven't been honest with Max.”
She'd gone on to admit that she'd been a part of a gang back home for years and couldn't get out. She'd gotten busted initially for repeated shoplifting, which was what sent her to Camp Hope in the first placeâbut only after she intentionally shoplifted all the more, hoping to be sent away to safety.
“I can't carry the secret anymore, Miss Emma. Not after watching Jarvis do something so stupid. I mean, if he reaches his limit and tries to burn down a barn, what am I capable of? I don't want to break.” She'd looked so scared and so young that Emma had gathered her in a hug and assured her that the truth was always best. She'd stood by her side while Katie told Max, and he'd promised her an extra-long One4One session the next morning where they'd set everything straight and look into long-term options to keep her safe.
“This day has been unreal.” She leaned her head back against the porch swing beside Max. “Tonya leaving. Cody's discovery and breakthrough. Jarvis's freak-out. Katie's confession.”
“So many secrets.” Max rocked their swing in a gentle rhythm. “You were right about Jarvis. I'm sorry I didn't heed your advice sooner. We both knew all along something was too good to be true about Katie, though, didn't we?”
“Yeah. I think she was so relieved to be free of her past, she didn't care what the camp was like.” Emma shook her head. “She was just grateful to be away from that gang. But didn't stop to think about what would happen when she had to go home.”
“They can't stay here forever. Guess there's several important calls to make tomorrow.” Max pushed them slightly higher on the swing, and a smoky breeze wafted through Emma's hair. “Funny how secrets always seem a good idea at the time....” His voice trailed off, and she didn't know if he were being sincere or taking a well-justified jab at her.
“I think it's best if I take Cody back to Texas.” Her statement planted Max's feet on the ground, and the swing came to an abrupt stop. “I can plead with the judge for a different facility, explain the conflict of interest or whatever. Maybe they'll have pity. This is just too much.” Her voice broke. “Too much on all of us.”
Especially on her, if she were being selfish and painfully honest. How could she keep working at the camp, or even keep Cody there at all, when their family dynamics were so tangled no one could sort them out? Her heart broke over and over just being in Max's presence, knowing he'd never be able to forgive to the point that she desired. To the point of their being a family.
“That's crazy.” Max finally spoke, breaking the silence of the night. “He needs his family.”
“But you're here. And I'm there.”
“That could change.” Max lifted his eyebrow at Emma, and her hopes hitched before she remembered Caley's comment alluding to obligation. No. That wasn't best for anyone, especially not Cody. They'd made it this far on their own. She and Max could work out some kind of custody arrangement, but when it came to being a family...they couldn't force that. Not even for Cody's sake.
“How could you even say that?” She twisted on the swing to face Max. “I know you're going to forgive me, eventually, but that doesn't mean you have to take us on.”
“I already have forgiven you.” He took her hand and ran his finger over the creases of her knuckles. “I forgave you this afternoon, when we were searching for Cody. I probably forgave you even sooner than that.” He shook his head. “But I need you to forgive me.”
She blinked in disbelief. “For what? I'm the one who lied to you, and our son, for years.”
“I judged you.”
She waited for his explanation, slowly pushing the swing into motion once more.
“I didn't hear you out and made my own assumptions. When you finally got to tell me what really happened, it made sense, Emma. Made me wonder if maybe I'd have done the same. You were thinking of Cody.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug, identical to Cody's. “I was still making bad choices, just in taking the deal even if I didn't use the drugs that time.” He sighed. “We're all paying for the past here, and I think it's time we stop. Move forward in God's forgiveness.”
It sounded too good to be true. Emma squeezed his hand, wondering if this would be the last time she'd get to hold it. “I don't know what to say.”
“I do.” Cody's voice sounded from the open front door, and Emma jerked, rocking the swing to a stop. She'd almost forgotten he'd been assigned to clean up the inside of the house for Mama Jeanie and do the dishes left over from the search crew. “Tell him we want to stay, Mom.”
He came on the porch and stood before the swing. Emma scooted over, and he plopped down in the middle. “I don't want to go back to Texas. It'sâit's no good for me.” He rubbed his palms over his jeans. “I feel different here. I don't want to get sucked back in.”
Emma looked at Max over the top of Cody's head, and he nodded slowly, catching her urgent point. “Cody.” He waited until Cody met his eyes. “It's good to get away from reality sometimes and learn new things. Sort of figure out who we are.”
Cody nodded eagerly.
“But at some point, you have to live in the real world again. Put what you learned and believed into action.”
His shoulders slumped. “So does that mean we have to go back to Dallas?”
“I think you should finish the session here, at least. There's not even two weeks left, and we have that big Thanksgiving meal coming up Thursday.” Max jostled him in the ribs. “I bet there's room in there for some of Mama Jeanie's famous Cajun turkey.”
“Mom?” Cody's pleading expression tugged at her heart.
She nodded slowly. “I think Max is right. Let's finish the camp and go from there.”
“From there?” He frowned. “Butâ”
Max raised his eyebrows at Cody, and he stopped midsentence and sighed. “Yes, ma'am.”
Talk about unexpected blessings. Emma couldn't ignore the warmth seeping through her heart at the way Max took over in such a natural way. He was going to be a great dad.
But dad didn't always equal husband.
There was the hollow ache again.
“Why don't you take this trash inside, and then I'll take you to the dorm. It's way past bedtime.” Max waited until Cody had gathered the remaining debris and taken it inside the house before pulling Emma to stand beside him. “I let you walk away once before, Emma Shaver, and I'm not making that mistake again.”
Her heart stammered in her chest, and the ache began to narrow into something almost manageable. Was this even possible?
“I should have followed you when you left the first time.”
She was afraid to hope. He regretted not following her the first time? But why? She had to know. “Because it was the right thing to do?”
“No.” He snorted. “Did anything I did back then seem like it was based on the right thing to do?”
So much she could say there. She just shook her head.
“I wanted you back. I loved you, Emma. But my immature pride and stubbornness wouldn't let me. I thought if you rejected me, then I shouldn't have to chase you.” He leaned forward and pressed his cheek against hers. “Don't make me chase you, Emma. I'm really pretty busy around here.”
She hiccupped back a laugh of surprise. “Is that so?” The tease broke the weight around her heart and set it free. No obligation. Just her. Just him. Cody.
And love.
“We're not kids anymore. Let's give this a real try, whatever it takes. I love you, Emma.” His lips were a breath apart from hers, and she found herself stretching on her toes to brush them with her own.
“I love you, too. Always have.” She hugged him back, heart soaring, and knew he had to feel it thumping against the pocket of his shirt. She closed her eyes, nestling against the familiarity of his embrace. God had brought them full circleâdespite their failures, their sin, their mistakesâHe'd worked all things for good. Just like He promised.
And the best part was His forgiveness covered it all.
“You always have, huh? And always will?” The confidence in Max's gaze spoke a contradiction to the question. He already knew the answer.