Love Jones For Him (10 page)

“Oh. Of course. Certainly, Jeff. That sounds great. I can’t wait to see you. I missed you,” she said honestly.

“I missed you too,” he said, then chuckled. “And I really was serious about being worried that you’ve found my replacement. It’s been giving me a lot of sleepless nights wondering what you could be up to. I hear these English men are quite dashing.”

Victoria laughed somewhat weakly. Was that guilt she felt? But it wasn’t possible; she had no reason to be guilty. She didn’t belong to Jeff any more than he belonged to her. She tried to convince herself he was just joking; certainly he knew where they stood by now.

***

She remembered that night. They’d gone out with friends for some drinks and then they went dancing afterwards. It had been a rowdy night. She’d grown more familiar with Jeff than she’d been previously. He’d kissed her several times during the course of the evening, and she’d let him. It had been enjoyable – nothing earth-moving, but it had been nice.

So nice, that she’d convinced herself to follow him back to his place by the time the night was through. There in his luxury loft apartment, they’d explored once more with kisses. He’d unzipped her dress, and soon had it pooling to the floor. His shirt had followed after, and they’d crushed to each other. It had felt right up until the moment she’d felt some part of her rebel against what was happening.

There was no urge within her; her body was stirred but she did not actively need to fuck him. She knew she would just be going through the motions. Kisses, fondling, and then the romp. It would mean nothing. She didn’t want him that way. Even when he’d put his mouth on her skin, and sucked her nipples, she’d felt hardly a twitch in her vaginal walls. She just wasn’t into it.

He’d been, though. She’d felt his erection jabbing her belly through his trousers. It had felt so cruel to stop him, and to firmly ask that he take her home. He’d seemed disappointed, surprised – but he was always the perfect gentleman. Less than half an hour later, she was back in her apartment, shutting the door on his hurt, confused face.

It had been hard to face him after that. But he kept ringing, trying to get her to talk to him. And then finally, he was able to get through to her and assured her that he wasn’t mad about that night. And then he asked if they could at least stay friends, and she’d gladly agreed.

That was the way it had been ever since. Just friends. So she could easily tell herself that he was his usual joking self when he talked about her being “stolen away” or of her finding his “replacement”.

However, she couldn’t help being a little guarded with Gordon when she saw him the next morning. But then he was probably much too busy to notice her attitude; he had a few technicians along for that day’s job.

She was in the kitchen around noon when he suddenly snuck up behind her, and drew her back against his body. “Coffee break,” he announced softly, his lips against her ear.

Victoria drew in a shuddering breath, the feel of his hard, strong body thrilling beyond words. Then she murmured, “Let me guess…black, right?”

“So right,” he growled, his hands sliding up her belly to the under swell of her breast. He cupped her in his palms, squeezing with hard, strong heat. “I’ve been thinking of you all morning.”

“So have I,” she confessed, biting on her lip and wondering why his touch held such power for her. He could shove her on the kitchen table and ram her from behind – and she would let him, she knew. Right here in the kitchen, at the risk of any of the other workmen walking in.

“Have dinner with me tonight, Victoria. There’s this fantastic Italian restaurant – “

“I’m sorry, Gordon,” she said quickly, turning in his arms and looking up at him. “I…I have some other engagement this evening.”

His hands fell away from her. “A date?” he half-teased, going to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup. “I’m a very jealous man, Victoria.” He faced her again, his blue-green eyes gleaming.

“It’s a friend,” she said quickly, wondering why she felt the need to explain to him. Damnit, that was not a good sign. “He’s come to London from New York on some business. We will meet for drinks and some dinner.” She shrugged.

He finished his coffee, his gaze steady on her as he placed down the cup. “Just friends, hmm?”

“Yes,” she said, smiling slightly as she came up to him. Her hands slid up his chest, feeling the ripple of muscle beneath his shirt. “I owe you some home cooking. I’d like to prepare you dinner tomorrow night. It’s all on me.”

“Hmm,” he said thoughtfully, his hand cupping her cheek. “But tonight. That’s what I’ll be thinking of – you with your friend.”

“His name is Jeff – and we’ll be having dinner. That’s all,” she told him with quiet firmness. Her eyes flashed with irritation – mostly at herself. Why did he make it feel necessary for her to feel like she was about to do something wrong? It wasn’t like she belonged to Gordon. She didn’t belong to anyone.

So basically, she could do what she liked, when she liked.

Victoria wasn’t sure what he’d read in her eyes, but he seemed to nod, before brushing past her. “I need to get back to work.” He was gone from the kitchen, and she felt a deep sigh escape her.

Chapter Fifteen

She had mixed feelings seeing Jeff Nielson again. To look him in the face and think of how close they were, and yet were still distant. He’d wanted to be her lover – to love her. But she’d never let him get the chance.

And yet there was Gordon, sexy, irresistible Gordon – who’d got her on her back on the first try. What did that say about her?

Well, for one thing, it had proven to Victoria that she was human. She could be weak. She could do crazy things and sleep with a man she’d just met a few weeks ago. Most of all, she could make mistakes. And she assured herself that if being with Gordon turned out to be a mistake, then it would be one of the best she’d ever made.

“You look beautiful,” Jeff said, as they embraced when she appeared at the elegant, exclusive restaurant. He kissed her cheek, his lips lingering for a second more than it should. His hand tightened on her bare arm, before he released her with a smile. “I’d almost forgotten how good you look – and smell. Is that a new perfume?”

She nodded with a smile, settling into a chair. “It’s by a certain British designer. I think I’m beginning to favor all things English. It seems almost a shame that I’ll be leaving soon.”

“You can always come back to visit. London’s beautiful,” he said with a shrug, after their second course was served. “The one thing that can’t be undone, is selling the house. You still plan on doing that?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “I mean, it’s the sensible thing to do. Once it’s completely renovated, I’ve been assured I’ll get a buyer almost straight away. I can’t imagine anyone not falling in love with the place once they view it.”

There was a lot of animation in her voice as she began to tell him about the house and how beautiful it looked now.  “It’s so perfect – or it will be when Gordon’s done with it.”

“Gordon?”

“He’s the contractor who’s been working tirelessly to get the house finished in time for the sale. I can’t believe how much he’s done in so little time. He really is the best at his job.”

“I would have loved to see the house,” Jeff said mildly as he sipped from his wine glass.

Victoria smiled. “Of course you can, Jeff. I’ll give you a grand tour. It would have been great if you could have stayed in my home instead of the hotel, but…” She shrugged apologetically. “Most of the rooms are still awaiting the final finish. And then the workmen working all time of day…”

“No, it’s okay, I like my hotel,” he said, his handsome face wreathing in a smile. “It’s got this immense, sinfully black steam bath. I can’t wait to try it tonight. Think that would be something that would interest you?”

Victoria’s neck went hot, and she quickly picked up her cutlery again. “A scintillating offer, Jeff.  But from my experience, sharing a steam bath is a very good premise of one thing leading to another.”

There was a glint in his eyes as he smiled, and placed a hand over hers on the table. “My sentiments exactly. Victoria…”

She slipped her hand out from under his, sighing. Her gaze was lowered. “I can’t, Jeff. I just…I can’t.”

When she looked up at him, his face was devoid of expression. “Even now? Victoria, I was hoping that here, in London, you’d feel differently. I’ve always wanted you, my love. I’ve always wanted us to mean something.”

“We do mean something. Just not…not the way you’d like,” she said, drawing in a bracing breath before she said calmly, “It’s not going to happen, Jeff. I appreciate everything we’ve shared, but it’s not ever going to be anything more than what it is now.”

“I think I realize that,” he replied in the same tone, and for the first time in a long while, he let her see the hurt, the anger, and the regret.

“Whoever he is, I hope he knows how special you are. I hope he gives you everything you deserve,” he said simply.

Surprised, she stared at him. Had he somehow guessed? Did he know about her and Gordon? But that was impossible.

“I mean, the one. That special, lucky guy out there that’s going to know what it feels to have your love, your heart – and your passion. Because I’ve come to terms with the reality that it could never be me.”

Victoria opened her mouth to say something, but no words seemed like they could make a difference then.

He nodded with a smile, overlooking the sad shadows in her eyes. “Let’s order dessert, shall we?”

***

“So how was dinner last night?” Gordon asked mildly.

It was the following day, and she was in one of the rooms with him, helping with putting up the last inch of wallpaper. She liked it when she could chip in a hand; it felt good to be a part of something as vital as bringing an old house back to life. The best part of it, though, was being around Gordon.

She dusted off her hands, turning to him with a smile. His back was to her, and he clattered nosily with his tools as he gathered them.

“It was nice; all five courses. There was the most delicious shrimp…”

“I wasn’t talking about the food, Victoria.”

“I know,” she replied with an impish smile, coming up to put her arms around him, feeling the rigid column of his back beneath her cheek. Hmm, he smelled delicious, like fresh, hot male. “And he’s gone, Gordon. Back to New York. He left on the first flight.”

He turned in her arms, and grabbed her. She felt like a waif in his strong arms as he bound her tightly to him. He kissed her and claimed her with the force of it. Into her mouth he dove, his tongue raking her warm depths like he would devour her alive. Victoria moaned and opened to him; as always she unlocked herself to his hungry passion. His need for her was like sustenance to her being; it made her soul dance and her body tingle at its nerve endings. She wasn’t sure there would be a time she could ever refuse him. He’d always have the key to her desire.

“I want you to stay,” he said against her lips, making her force herself to focus. Her hands held either side of his face, and she pulled back to stare up at him.

“What?”

“I never wanted to bring this up before. But now…Victoria, keep the house. Stay in London. I don’t want you to leave.”

She let out a dazed laugh, her eyes wide with amazement and humor. “You’re not serious?”

“I’ve never been more so,” he said calmly, his fingers raking into her hair, and tugging it back. Her neck was bared to him, and he traced the smooth, delicate line with his moist tongue. “This is your home, Victoria. I know you’d come to love it here.”

“But...My business, my friends – “She couldn’t believe she was actually considering this.

“You’re an interior designer, Victoria. I’m sure your skills are much in demand here as they are in New York. And as for friends – you can always make new ones. But there’s really only one friend you need, sweetheart.” His head lifted, and there was a dark appeal in his sea-washed eyes. “I don’t think I can let you go, Victoria. Not so soon.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” she said lightly. But she knew exactly what he meant. This thing they had – whatever it was: perhaps it was too good to walk away from. She could return to New York and forget all about him. Or she could stay, and find out where all this could lead.  Would it be worth the sacrifice?

“I think it’s pretty simple,” he told her, his tone sensible. “You already have a place to stay. You have no cause to dash back. Think of how much more we could explore the possibilities between us. If you leave for New York, you’ll never know.”

“You’re talking like I’ll be on the other side of the moon,” she teased, though she broke out of his hold. She couldn’t think straight when he held her close.  “Why don’t you come to New York? You could visit whenever you want – and I’ll do the same; I’ll hop on a plane to London whenever I need to.” She shrugged, adding easily, “Nothing drastic needs to be done. Besides…If I stay, you just might get tired of me. What happens then?”

She was smiling, though her words had a ring of uncertainty. His eyes flashed as he stood across from her.

“Try me,” he said softly, and she felt her skin shiver as she looked into his eyes. Just what was he offering? Her heart lifted at the thought that maybe he’d come to have deep feelings for her. Why else would he be insisting this way?