Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (13 page)

I saw Azmir Jacobs once again that night while
in line waiting for the bathroom with Britni. He was getting off the elevator near the restroom area. There were two people chatting with him as usual. He looked tense, tired even, but still deliciously debonair as ever. When his eyes so happened to land on me I tried diverting mine.

Attempting to ignore him didn't work because before I could completely think of my next act of diversion I felt someone leaning over me and as I craned my neck to look up he said, “Ms. Brimm, I have a private restroom u
pstairs if you’d like to use it.”

H
e was so close that I could hear him clear over the music. This man smelled so good that my inner-workings began crying out to him. I stood there frozen with my eyes glued to his like a schoolgirl. 

“Sure, we would!” Britni screeched, bringing herself into our personal space
—my space that Azmir had clearly intended to cross into. I could have slapped her for sounding so desperate. After her outburst I couldn’t avoid nodding in reluctant acquiesce.

We followed him back in the elevator up to the third floor and into the office area of the club, all the while with his
heated gaze upon me. The third floor was quietly lit with soft music playing, much different than that of the club’s main hall. The walls were obliviously sound proof because you could barely hear or feel the bass of the speakers from below. He escorted us past the reception area, into his office and then directed us to the private bathroom.

Britni pushed
past me and went in first. Embarrassed by her rudeness, I turned back toward him with a soft smile so that he would know that we were not the animals Britni just emulated. Azmir smiled in return and included his eyes in the sentiment.
God, this man is dangerously handsome!

It had been some time since I’d been strongly attracted to a man, but never had I experienced physiological responses to one
without effort. His phone rang to his dismay because he sighed in frustration and after checking the phone number, he answered. The person was yelling over the music that I assumed came from downstairs.

“I’m up in the office and I’ll be back down in a minute. I know. I
’ve gotten caught up in something. I’ll be down soon.” He hung up unmistakably annoyed and immediately found my wondering eyes.

“Missing you already?” I teased.

“Hardly.” I watched as he scratched his head as though his mind was preoccupied and a smirk slowly eclipsed his face.

“So, Ms. Brimm, when will you be opening the physical therapy
office?”

“A week from Monday, although I’ll be starting on next Wednesday setting up the aesthetics.”

“Oh, good,” he replied with knitted eyes before Britni opened the door to come out of the bathroom. I was relieved because I was about to piss in my sexy boots in front of this hunk of a man. 

After I’d come out of the bathroom I noticed Britni musing around Azmir’s office trying to engage him in conversation in a seductive manner. What took me by surprise was that his eyes were fixated on me from the time I went in the bathroom
to the second I came out. He had that intense gaze again. It was at that moment that it was clear to me that he wanted me. The question was,
how did he want me
?

“All done
,” I announced prepared to end this awkward shared experience.

All the way downstairs Britni tried to employ him in conversation. Azmir entertained it to a minimum but even through my
tipsy haze, I could tell he wasn’t interested in her. He pulled out that gold pocket watch to check the time. He seemed a little bewildered. I was curious as to why but wouldn’t dare ask. I had to remember he was a business associate no matter how fine he was. After we got off the elevator, Britni and I thanked Azmir before splitting up.

He gave Britni a cursory glance
, then swayed his gaze to me and with slanted eyes he said, “Any time. Let’s make sure this wasn’t the last.”

I didn’t know what to say, I could only gush a new shade of honey.

The next time I saw him that evening he was leaving with an entourage. Michelle and I wondered which one of the women in the group was his. It was hard to tell since he wasn’t holding hands or talking to any woman with that “we’re together” chemistry. I just thought to myself, “
Oh well, he was good to look at.
”

~~~~~~~~~~

Azmir

It was Friday night and I was leaving a video shoot for a friend of mine who’s a rapper. I never liked playing the groupie role, hanging out at a video shoot but my boy asked me to cameo a few scenes. I’ve done it before although I never understood why I’d been invited to. The general public doesn’t know me. I have a quite a few friends in the entertainment social circle but I wasn’t exactly in the entertainment business. I try to indulge when they ask because I know my goons are really big on that scene.

As we were pulling out
, I got a call from Tara reminding me that we’re meeting at Cobalt tonight. Her cousin Danielle and Danielle’s fiancé were visiting and she wanted to show them around.
Translation: she wanted to show off.
I played along and gave no resistance. What I did was simply invite Petey along with his wife and my boy, Kid, and his ghetto ass girlfriend, Syn; Tara hates these friends. She would’ve much preferred my polished friends like Mark and Eric. Now, they
are
my boys but this was strategic. I was trying to shake Tara and didn’t care if that meant her leaving me first. The goons and I split up to get ready for the evening. As I was home trying to get myself together Tara called.

“Hey! What time are you picking me up?”

“I don’t think I’m going to have time for all of that. Plus, I have to be somewhere tonight after we leave…” My excuse was actually a legitimate reason; I did have plans for after Cobalt. But it was a convenient reason.

“What do you mean you don’t have time? And where do you have to be afterwards, baby? I was hoping we could have a nightcap at
The London West Hollywood
after.” Tara used her dearest tone that let me know she was in someone’s presence and didn’t want to let on to how upset she was that I wasn’t going along with her plans.

“I have a thing and have to be out at about midnight. Again, I
’m going to have to meet you guys there,” I exhaled into the phone totally blowing her the fuck off. She paused for a minute and I cleared my throat letting her know that I had to go. She was powerless because she didn’t want to embarrass herself and had to let it ride.

I arrived at the club a little after 11PM. The place looked pretty busy, which was good. I most definitely wasn’t in managerial mode, but whether I like it or not I’m the boss so it’s difficult for me to relax. There would definitely be no relaxing with Tara’s ass around. As I walked in through the rear
, I greeted everyone before retreating to put away my things and retrieve messages.

Bracing myself, I meandered back downstairs to greet my guests. Petey, Kid and their women had
already arrived and I could tell Tara wasn’t happy by first glance. Ghetto ass Syn was snapping her fingers and bobbing her head to the music. She was just happy to be out among people with class. My boys were doing what they always do when they’re out with their women; they just scan the room. It has a lot to do with their nature. They’re always on guard for trouble. It didn’t matter that Cobalt didn’t attract their kind of trouble. If it were up to them, they wouldn’t choose a venue like this to socialize. Petey knew why they were invited and I’m sure he informed Kid.

“What up, Black People!” I chanted as I approached the table.

I gave Danielle’s fiancé, Steve, some dap, shook Danielle’s hand, gave Petey and Kid some love and said hello to their ladies. I sat down next to Tara and said hello. I know she’s much preferred a kiss but it wasn’t happening.

“So, I see congratulations are in order for you, Azmir! This place is jumping!” Danielle remarked.

“Yeah, this is one of the latest projects. I’m a little nervous although my people tell me it’s off and running way past the trial stage,” I responded over the music.

“Yes, I was just telling Tara the atmosphere is totally different from the club outside of Inglewood. Both are nice though. They’re both really live and energized but this one is trendier
,” Steve offered.

“Well, this one was intended to appeal to a different demographic. It’s more commercial; you know, colorless and cultured. Depending on the success of Cobalt
, we’re considering opening up one more on Sunset Blvd. I try to build establishments that appeal to the different facets of me…who I am,” I said.

“That’s interesting. What do you mean different facets?” Danielle inquired with furrowed eyebrows. She was a talkative one and was never short of an informative conversation.

“We’re all, or at least
should all be
, comprised of more than one component. That’s actually the secret to my success, if I may. I wear many faces, particularly two. One face is urban, street-like, underground, you know…ethnic. The other is corporate, cultured, mainstream, traditional business, etcetera. The common denominator is a hustler’s spirit—hunger, commerce-minded, paper chasing, and trend setting. Many people can’t respect that. There are times that I’ve passed up opportunities because associates tried to get into my head by wanting me to say I was one over the other.” My eyes jotted over to Tara. I knew I was wilding the fuck out but kept going.

“People aren’t comfortable when they can’t figure you out. I have my corporate
contemporaries wanting me to explain my relationships with well-known rappers and rebellious athletes. And on the other hand, I have my goons from the streets wanting to test my chin assuming I’ve gone Hollywood. It’s tough. The true challenge is maintaining who you are while not allowing those around you to classify you or question your essence,” I continued.

“Well Az, which hat are you most comfortable wearing?” Danielle asked
entranced. I knew she loved this type of analytical exchange.

“W
hich ever hat is going to win me a dollar in that opportunity. I’m a hustler, baby.” There was a pause at the booth as Danielle and Steve looked at each other approving what they could quickly process of my summary.

Petey broke it by saying, “I hear dat, Divine and on dat note Im’ma get sum‘in’ wet from the bar. You want sum‘in’, Ma?” he called out to his wife, Kim.

Thinking a break from the tense energy at the table sounded appealing I rose from the table. “I’m with you, Crack. You want something?” I asked Tara. She rolled her eyes and shook her head no. She knew that was a subliminal message for her. As slow as this process was, she was getting the hint. She knew the end of the relationship was nigh.

We walked over to the bar and I felt gentle nudging at my arm. “Mr. Jacobs! I was wondering if I’d see you here tonight! I’m Michelle Smith from
—” I interrupted her.

“…Smith, Katz & Adams Sports Medicine. I recall.” Michelle’s eyes were bright with unadulterated enthusiasm. I could tell she maintained good energy from her
well-applied smile. “Yes, I’m out tonight. Good to see you patronizing the place. You’re not here alone are you?” I vividly remembered her because of the dame that gave the presentation that day at the rec. I knew it was a long shot but I had to ask.

“Oh, no! I’m here with some friends…a few from school and…oh, Rayna! You remember Rayna
Brimm the one that gave you the proposal that day?”

I felt a chill
cross my shoulders.
Oh, shit!
That had never happened to me before. I don’t even know this broad and I’m getting this excited?

Almost as
if she had known, Michelle grabbed my arm and damn near pulled me over to their V.I.P. booth. I could tell she’d been drinking. Her demeanor that night was a far cry from the woman I’d met in my boardroom. It was cool though. I let her lead me up to one of the V.I.P. booths where I assumed her friend, Rayna, was. I fought the anticipation that was building with each step I took.

She introduced me to her friends
…
and there she was
, still as lovely as ever!

We exchanged a few words and I left. I had to remember I had people waiting on me
because I could easily stare at her all night. I found my way back to the bar and Petey was still there waiting for me. I gave him the 411 on old girl. He couldn’t get a close up on her but remembered her from the dancing she did a few weeks back there at the club. We took our drinks back to the booth.

T
here was a performance by a newcomer on the R&B scene. I’d asked my manager here at Cobalt to book him as a favor for a producer friend of mine. After hearing his performance and seeing the crowd’s reaction. I textedmy boy
:
YOU GOT THIS ONE. I NOW OWE YOU
.
He textedme back saying
,
YES, SIIIIIIIR
!

A little while later the manager, Bobby, came up to tell me my signature was needed for a few orders he was placing the following day so I went upstairs to the offices. On my way back down I saw Ms. Brimm with one of her friends waiting for the ladies room. That’s when I realized there was something about her aura that I found undeniably attractive. Her humility was captivating. I could tell she didn’t like a lot of attention, almost a little bashful even. I offered them the bathroom in my office and her girl quickly said yes but Brimm was a little hesitant.