Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (21 page)

“Oh!” was all I could say. I was busted.

He asked about my day and I told him, though there wasn’t much to tell. He wanted to know if I had minded being alone for so long and I told him I didn’t at all and reminded him that he forewarned me that I’d be alone for half of the day. Ending our conversation for the night going to bed, we planned to go swimming the next morning before breakfast to see who really had skills.

After that con
versation I felt safer with him, so safe that I had to resist going into his room when the lights were off. I swear I tried—I tried with every bit of resistance my heated body could muster not to pleasure myself. But when the attempt was made to squeeze my thighs together to manage the throbbing, it only intensified the need. My fingers explored my valley ferociously until I was pushed to the edge and so close that I buried my face into the pillow to catch my whimpers when my release came. Afterward I felt cheap and cheated. But the edge of aching pain was taken off. For the moment.

The next morning Azmir woke me up by gently shaking the small of my back. I turned over and he was sitting there wearing swimming trunks and without a shirt. I felt moisture in my panties.

“Time to get up and show me what you’re made of, kid. We’re meeting Petey, Kid, Wop, and the ladies for breakfast afterwards. The ladies were complaining of boredom from yesterday to the guys. Hopefully you girls can get to know each other so you can do something while we’re out today,” Azmir suggested.

“What business do you guys have in Mexico anyway?” My question wasn’t all that random.

“Acquisitions,” he answered while walking out into the suite.

I didn’t question any further but got up to wash up and throw on a
swimsuit. When I got into the bathroom I noticed my period had arrived. I was pissed! It wasn’t because I was planning on getting some—or maybe I was hoping to—but who wants to be away with their period? And not to mention the symptoms that accompanied it. I jumped in the shower, begrudgingly threw in a tampon and put on a bikini.

Mercifully
, I was able to fight through my miserable faint period illness. Perhaps it was because I was delightfully distracted by that of Azmir Jacobs. In the pool, we played like wild teenagers. I laughed with no conscience as Azmir effortlessly tossed me around the pool and splashed water in my face. I got better views of his wonderfully crafted frame and was even afforded opportunities to touch him in new places heating me in inconvenient areas in spite of my condition. The illumination of his smile competed with the bright rays of the sun. I was truly in paradise,
all that of A.D.

We horse-played for what seemed like minutes but was actually almost two hours. I had to ask him about his height and weight. When he was throwing me around I couldn’t help but notice his strength and physique. He told me he was
six four and weighed about two twenty pounds.
I was close
.

Azmir
, too, lost track of time until Petey came out to the pool area and yelled out, “Yo, Divine! Yo, Divine!”

Azmir looked up and
looked over to him, “Aye…what up, Crack?”

“We been waiting on ya’ll for a minute now. We
supposed to be having breakfast, ‘member?”

“What time is it,
Ock?” Azmir asked, apparently caught off guard.

“It’s almost a quarter to
ten,” Petey answered.

“A’ight, man. We’ll meet ya’ll in the restaurant in
twenty minutes.”

Azmir and I
hurried to our suite to shower and dress. We were back downstairs and in the restaurant twenty-five minutes later. Faces were tight, mainly Syn’s.

During breakfast
, Petey tried to spark a conversation with me that would engage the ladies. “Yo Rayna, what you got planned for the day?”

“Ummm, I’m not sure. I want to hit the beach again. It was so relaxing yesterday. Do the ladies have anything in mind?” I hated to open myself up because the truth of the matter was, I preferred being alone. If I was to spend time with anyone it would be Azmir since he did pay for me to be there. I, of course, held my peace and assumed what was expected of me.

“Y’all don’t wanna go shopping or some shit?” Petey said, assuming that would spur interest
because we’re women maybe?

“Yeah, man. The shops out here is a’ight!” Kid immediately followed up with.

“Oh, I thought you ain’t never been here!” Syn, Kid’s lady-friend, blasted.

“I was just ‘bout to say, ‘
Right, Divine?
’ See, you need to chill wit’ ‘dat shit, Ma!” he tried to clean up.

“Look man, Im’ma leave you wit’ a G. You can make somethin’ happen wit’ ‘dat, right?” Petey said, not really asking but subliminally stating what was going to be fact whether she liked it or not. His wife didn’t say anything and the next thing I saw was the other guys follow
ing suit.

I got the impression that Wop and his friend, Chanell, weren’t exactly a couple. I was wondering if she was like a jump-off or something. He quietly asked her if she had any money and she shook her head, “no”.  We got up from the table and Petey handed his wife keys to what I discovered later
was be a rental car.

Azmir took me by the hand and discreetly walked me away from the group, “I left money for you upstairs in my nightstand drawer. Take what you need.”

As I looked in his eyes I wanted to tell him thank you for making me feel like I was spoken for, but I couldn’t. I had to snap out of that fantasy and remind myself that just because I was in a fairytale-like place didn’t mean I was in a fairytale. I thanked him and we parted ways.

All the women, including me, looked at the men as they trotted off like we were children lost in the park.

Chanell walked over to me and trilled, “Girl, where we going?” very friendly
and familiarly
.

I smiled, “I don’t know. Kim has the keys to the wheels!” Kim giggled.

We went back to our rooms and met in the parking lot ten minutes later. We drove into town with directions from the bus boy. I could see all the girls had “
the element”
, even Kim who was apparently older. They all seemed somewhat familiar with each other, which led me to believe they’ve been out together before.

In the car
, Syn, who was in the front passenger seat as I was in the back, turned and asked, “So, how long you been wit’ Divine?”

I had to think quickly, I didn’t know who Divine was. Revelation hit and I was able to place the
D
in A.D. Jacobs. I also recalled hearing the guys refer to Azmir as Divine. I stumbled a bit because I’d only referred to him as Azmir Jacobs. I felt her question was intrusive and rude in delivery but I had to remember her
element
.

“We’re not ‘
together
’. We’re just friends,” I answered in what I felt was a polite manner. I didn’t want any trouble on my much needed vacation.

“Hmmmmmm!” she hummed as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the front of the car.

I wondered what that was all about and asked, “Is that supposed to mean something? It missed me.”

“Syn, don’t start ‘dat bullshit. You always on some drama type shit. You don’t even know shortie like ‘dat! Let it ride!” Chanell demanded confirming how childish Syn was behaving.

“Yeah, girl! You need to stay out of Divine’s business before Kid kick yo’ ass,” Kim warned calmly. She seemed to play her position as second lady to the vice president very well. Everyone pretty much remained quiet for the rest of the ride.

We weren’t in town for long. No one seemed in the shopping mood. Syn and Chanell bought a few things but Kim and I didn’t indulge much. Chanell shopped with great enthusiasm. She seemed to have had the most energy out of the four of us.

Chanell was beautiful, thick with caramel skin and had a Kelis-type two-toned blonde curly afro. She was maybe five nine and weighed maybe two forty. She had an eclectic style,
or maybe one she had yet to decide on
. Chanell kept picking up different pieces of clothing that represented several approaches to fashion. I could tell the money that the guy, Wop, gave her was burning a hole in her pocket.

Syn was a red bone like her man, Kid. She was about two inches shorter than Chanell and could weigh no more than
a hundred and ten. This girl was incredibly skinny! She wore a jet-black straight weave that came down to her shoulders. Her high-pitched voice annoyed the hell out of me.

Kim had bronzed brown skin and was about
five feet five inches. She had to be well over two hundred and sixty-five pounds. I could tell she had an impressive body before the children, who she mentioned several times on the way into town. She wore a bun in her hair and had a pretty face, too. She seemed very reserved and watchdog-like as she observed the girls and me with her hands folded across her bountiful breasts. She chimed in on jokes and occasionally gave her opinion even when it wasn’t solicited, but still seemed very quiet all together. I hadn’t decided if she was chaperoning or just observing closely to get to know me.

After shopping
, we returned to the resort and Chanell asked if she could join me on the beach. I told her it would be fine and before I knew it all the ladies said they’d be out there. I tried not to reveal my true desire of not wanting to be bothered. I realized that these women weren’t very entertained without their men, unlike me who was in an entirely different situation. I imagined that Chanell was in a unique one herself.

I arrived on the beach first and Chanell wasn’t too far behind. Eventually we were all seated together on the sand. We aligned our chairs together
, or should I say Chanell put her chair next to mine and the girls followed. We were out there for hours and that Syn kept throwing me nasty looks and unearned scoffs. I was already over her antagonism. My menstrual cramping allowed limited patience for Syn. I’d taken several pills to help with pain.

Throughout the many hours we spent on the beach
, Chanell was covertly feeding me the scoop on everyone. She said that the fellas, along with Azmir, on this trip call themselves The Clan. There were hundreds of them according to her. She said Azmir was at the helm and, through Petey, he tried to inject positive activities for at risk youth in the hood. She said Azmir had serious ties to the streets and gives back although he’s now a successful businessman. I wanted to pry a little more but my gut told me to shut up and just listen. In between taking dips in the water, the others girls sleeping and going to the bar for drinks she gave me the back-stories on Kim and Syn and said that they’d been dating Petey and Kid for years. Their relationships’ beginning was unorthodox to say the least—
all of these my words and not hers
. Chanell was as hood as they come. Her disfluencies were off the charts…
and I enjoyed it
. She gossiped a lot, but I decided right away that I liked her. There was something very endearing about her.

Chanell reported that Syn was a local whore who lucked up with somebody in
The Clan. She never knew her father nor had any brothers. All she had was a mother who had too many men with only one thing in mind, getting her ass. Because that was all she was surrounded with, all she knew was how to please a man physically. She would sneak into her mom’s closet and observe her sexual performances and developed skills. The first one she adapted was oral sex. Her mom would start off each love session with oral pleasure. So what she would do was wait until her cousin, Dinky, came over and practiced on him. Syn was seven while Dinky was six. Dinky didn’t exactly understand what was going on, he was a crack baby with brain deficiencies. While the words were pouring out of her mouth, all I could do was wonder why Syn would share this sensitive information with her.
Did she have any dignity at all?
Chanell continued her tale saying neither one of their mothers knew what was going on. They were always so high and drunk together; the children were doing them a service by getting lost. Syn’s sexual curiosities followed her to age sixteen when she was propositioned by one of her mother’s lovers. He offered to give her money if she shared her love with him every now and then.  Ever since that day her dignity and self-value had been challenged. 

Kid came along when she was at her lowest. Syn stayed with her mother along with a crack-head that ran with her mom back then.  Kid was a young, very small time hustler back then and sold to her mother and friends on a regular basis. Kid worked out a deal where he would stay there with the women temporarily until he got on his feet and in exchange for rooming
, he would supply her for free. The neighborhood that Charla, Syn’s mother, lived in was crack-head’s harbor and was not occupied by real runners so he was
assigned
to open up shop there. Syn wasn’t feeling him or the agreement but what could she do? At first Kid thought she was a freeloading broad that had no future and got high on the “
low
”. That was until he got to know her and after staying there for about a month a half she didn’t make any requests but would offer to make him meals when there was enough food. He took to that. He hadn’t had that type of care from a woman since his toddler stage. They say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Chanell quoted. So when his time came to move on to greener domestic pastures Kid took Syn. And they’ve been together ever since. Miserable at times, but a couple with children.