Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (29 page)

“Do you want me to stop?”
his voice was husky and low in my ear as his teeth grazed it.

Did I?
Hell no!
I shook my head slowly and felt the spasms in my face and my bottom lip quiver from the clitoral stimulation. I was ready to burst at the seams. The next thing I felt was his mouth on mine aggressively pulling at my lip and his tongue to entered and devoured me. Possessed me.
Our second kiss
. He tasted even better than he smelled as he kissed me hungrily disproving my denial of wanting him so desperately…
or that he wasn’t a good lover?
He slipped two fingers inside me and his thumb circled my pearl sending voltages up my spine as heat surged my body. My hands rose to his to pull him closer to me. No one may have been able to see his sexual assault on my body in the alcove of the booth but I didn’t care if they saw our raptured kiss and assumed we were no more than making out.

Azmir’s fingers explored my canal until one swipe over a sensitive area ended the search. I moaned into his mouth and he focused on that sweet responsive spot
along with my aching pearl, rubbing and massaging relentlessly against the romantic sounds and ambiance of Mahogany. His tongue moved swiftly when he flickered it against my own, mimicking his dexterous movements between my legs. He twisted his fingers inside me around and around while his tongue explored my mouth so sensually. My belly lurched and my head swung back forcefully into the headrest of the bench as my body convulsed in a hard orgasm. Simultaneously, fear crept into the far recesses of my mind as I was melting all in his hand. I couldn’t believe I was having an orgasm in a lounge, in public, and at the ministrations of Azmir Jacobs.

I opened my mouth, “Azmir!” my cries barely audible.

“Shhhh…” he urged, pulling at my bottom lip with his mouth.

And when my moans poured out he covered my mouth with his
soft brandy-hinted lips, keeping me from tipping off our neighbors. I felt his protectiveness and appreciated it. It wasn’t for him; it was for me. Azmir would have looked like the proverbial player for fingering a woman in his best friend’s lounge but I would have been the tramp, the cheap date who was just another notch on his belt. Azmir cradled me, working his tongue back in my mouth, pulling me so close into him that I could feel his hard chest against my trembling arm, somehow making me feel so secure and protected while I rode out the longest orgasm I may have ever had up until that point. I couldn’t help but welcome him in hungrily and we continued our oral embrace.

When I was able to open my eyes, shame threatened again until they met Azmir’s adoring gaze. It was warm and unremorseful and composed.

“You okay?” he asked with a hidden smirk.

My head was still against the back of the booth as he slowly withdrew his hand from beneath my dress. I nodded with drunken eyes and out of breath.

“Are
you
okay?” I knew he had to be ready to go so that I could return the favor. I wanted him to tell me he needed
me
.

I watched in disbelief as I saw him take each fing
er that was in my sex and raise them to his mouth to suck off my juices. I’d never seen anything so erotic.

“I am now.” His face was impassive but I knew there was no way that he could be ok
ay. I knew where his mind was. “You’re going to be trouble,” he observed, appraising my juices as his eyes traveled appreciatively from his fingers to me. His tone was pithy and decisive.

What does that mean?

“Are you ready to leave?” I felt heat coursing through my veins at the sight of him licking
me
off
him
.

“I’m in no rush. Like I said, Im’ma tap that ass, but now is not the time. We have a show to finish.”

My breath hitched. I don’t know if I was completely turned on by the anticipation or thrown by the timeline,
that he didn’t give
.

“Breathe, Brimm. Breathe
,” he murmured. I exhaled not realizing I had so much air built up. I wanted him so badly, even more so now that I knew he could be an exhibitionist. I just sat there imploring him with my eyes
as he licked me off his fingers
. “I think I better go wash my hands before I get tempted to fuck you in this booth.”

I grabbed his face pulling him into my mouth and tasted myself on him, something I hated in the past but oddly,
I
tasted good on Azmir. Too good. He let me devour him ravenously and even let a groan escape. I wanted him to lose restraint just as he had inflicted upon me moments earlier. I let up off him thinking that we would have plenty of time to
test
his self-control after the show.

Azmir took to the restrooms to clean up, then I followed suit. When I’d gotten back to the booth his mood of the ultimate gentleman had returned with very little hint of the skilled seducer
that had me clawing up the bench
earlier
.

We eventually got up to mingle with his friends. Shortly thereafter, I saw Petey
and a few men behind him stalking briskly through the crowd of patrons passing right by me. He didn’t speak, which worried me. He stopped at his commander and chief and whispered something in Azmir’s ear. Azmir’s eyes narrowed as he processed the urgent information.

He then turned to me and said, “There’s been an accident. I’m going to have Ray, my driver, take you home whenever you’re ready.”

He was very formal, certainly not the man who’d made love to me with his hand a half an hour earlier. I didn’t want to separate from him that night at all, let alone in an emergency situation. I’d had plans for him.

“Sure. I hope everything is okay…” I uttered trying not to pry but hoping he’d provide some type of explanation. I’d been having such a great time with him, and his friends even.

“I’ll call you as soon as I can. Ray will be outside waiting.” He kissed my forehead and was led out by his entourage.

What in the hell happened?
He left so abruptly. I didn’t want to stay without him so I went back to the table to gather our favors and the rest of my things and said my goodbyes to Mark and Eric before leaving myself. When I stepped outside, just as Azmir assured, his driver was right there in front waiting.

Ray smiled and asked, “Where to, Ms. Brimm?”

I went back to Michelle’s house.

I
didn’t see Azmir for days and when we did speak, it was through text and emails. I tried not to focus on it too much because between work, tending to Michelle and Erin, still settling in the new house and practicing with Jimmie for Azmir’s party I was extremely preoccupied. However, the distance didn’t come without doubt, my last time with Azmir gave reservations about what we had going on. I’d be the first to admit that I had no interest in a full blown relationship, but Azmir was different; different in that I didn’t believe he wanted a full blown relationship either but it was clear he wanted an affair,
and hopefully exclusivity
. 

Rayna

Before I knew it, June had arrived. Petey called me to confirm my dancing at Azmir’s party. I told him I’d been practicing almost daily for it at that point.

“Okay! What song you using so I can tell the D.J.
?” he asked.

“My choreographer thought we’d use Jay-Z’s “
Hollywood
” from the
Kingdom Come
album.”

“Oh, word?!
” he asked with mirthful amusement. “That shit is funny. Jay gonna be there...they gonna get a kick outta dis’ shit!”

“Oh, yeah?” I asked in total shock trying to control my voice since I was in my office at work. I didn’t get the joke, but whatever.
Was Azmir really that well known to have the reigning king of Hip-Hop at his birthday party?
Butterflies suddenly blossomed in my stomach.
This can’t be good
.

“Hell yeah! I had Divine’s manager at Cobalt hire dis’ professional party planner and she just faxed me the
RSVP’s so far. You know what Im’ma do? Im’ma call Jay and see how we can play dis’ shit out. We gonna make dis’ shit official, ya’ heard me!” he trilled. “I’ll hit you back wit’ dat’ doe.”

I agreed and we hung up
, and not a minute too soon because there was a knock at my door. It was Sharon telling me Azmir was here to see me. From the silhouette of a tall and lean man just beyond her, I could surmise he was standing behind her. Panic interrupted my mood. I hadn’t seen him in days and wasn’t prepared to see him in that moment. I prayed to the dear heavens that I was presentable. She knew the policy was to page me from up front when I had a guest. This led me to believe she’d caught on to our
special
friendship.

“Mr. Jacobs
,” I announced with a tremble in my voice as I rose from my desk attempting professionalism in hopes of throwing Sharon off when I’m sure I wasn’t.

“Hello
,” he greeted as he graded around Sharon and into my office. Sharon left closing the door right behind her, notwithstanding Azmir’s signature panty-snatching smirk as he thanked her, sending her over the moon.

His unannounced visit concerned me and I felt a bit anxious. But it was the way he looked at me, he always had that intense glare in his eyes. It did things to me.
Immediately I thought back to his carnal acts that night at Mahogany. I locked my gaze onto him and tried to mask with my eyes that I wanted to ride him like a cowgirl.
Damn, this man is so fine with his tall and chocolate ass!
Although I’d hoped he didn’t know what was specifically going through my head, we both chortled as though
whatever it was
he could guess.

“I wanted to come check you out. It
occurred to me this morning that I hadn’t seen you in a few days. I’m sorry for leaving you that night in Venice—”

I couldn’t be indifferent to
his usual silky baritone voice, but I interrupted him by saying, “Azmir, I told you that you were forgiven for that. I understand that you’re a busy man and are depended on by many. I’m sure whatever you rushed off to warranted your abrupt departure.” I’d had time to build a resolve. A protective wall.

It killed me that he waited so long to see me after abandoning me that night but within days I recoiled emotionally, I couldn’t allow myself to fall so deep into a man.

Flashing that panty-snatching smile, he told me that my arctic exterior wouldn’t deter him. “That’s why I’m here. I wanted to find out when we can go out again.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Ummm, when did you have in mind?” I walked over to my desk to check my calendar.

“I’m flexible,” he said with those piercing eyes drinking me in while gauging my response.

“How about Sunday? I have a manicure and pedicure appointment but that’s early in the morning. Oh, and I am on call
,” I read my calendar out loud, “…though typically, I don’t hear a peep from the call service,” I said continuing my rambling as I searched my calendar.

“
Evening is good?”

“Did you have any place in mind?”

“I thought we’d stay in. How about I cook for you?” he asked sizing me up starting from my hips.
What was that all about?
Did this mean that I didn’t have to beg for him?
I wouldn’t.

“That sounds nice if you can cook. Can you?” I asked surprised by his gesture.

He raised his eyebrow and a smirk crested upon his beautiful face. “I know a recipe or two but I’m no cook. You promised me a private tour of your new home. How about there?”

Oh, no!

“Well, you never offered your home. Plus, I’m still furnishing mine, so how about your bachelor’s pad?” I said not wanting him to come to my home until I saw his. Also, I wanted to get to know Azmir better and seeing his bat cave would certainly do that.

He gave me a keen gaze as if he knew I didn’t want him coming to my house before saying, “Alright. You got that. My place it is.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I beamed feeling like I scored.

Azmir smiled in return. “I’m on my way to a meeting. I just wanted to settle this before I continued with my day. Enjoy the rest of yours.”

I melted at his words once again. It had become such a regular occurrence that I’d come to accept it. When he left, I called Michelle right away to inform her of our plans.

“You better call me with all the details of the evening including his house. I bet it’s tricked out!” she shrieked in sheer enthusiasm.

The next day, after her visit to the doctor we headed to Victoria’s Secret. I wasn’t all that confident of his intentions but wanted to be prepared seeing that he made it a point to conduct our next date within private quarters. I also kept in mind our steamy encounter at Mahogany. In a moment of honesty, I’d have to admit that I didn’t know if I was ready to take on a sexual affair with Azmir. It was weird, too bizarre to explain. He was so intense and intimidating that I couldn’t see past his dominating persona to imagine a passionate lover. And what if it were horrible? What if we lacked chemistry? I’d just have to wait to feel him out.

Azmir offered to send a car to pick me up but I was insistent on driving. I wanted to remember how to get to his home for future references. When I arrived
, I encountered this huge sky-scrapper that reminded me of the buildings in New York City. There was a wide horseshoe driveway leading to the entrance of the building. I didn’t know where to park my car but saw a doorman. When the gentleman who was dressed in livery approached my car I asked where I could park. He asked me the name of the resident I was visiting.

When I told him he smiled, “Why, Ms. Brimm, Mr. Jacobs is awaiting you. I’ll have your car
valet parked. Follow me and I’ll direct you to the elevator and see you to your destination.”

The elevator was filled with brass and some reflective material inside and the ride was nice and smooth. There was even soft and relaxing muzak playing, though it didn’t calm my rampant nerves during the ascension. When we arrived at the 11
th
floor the doorman said, “Ah, here we are, Ms. Brimm. Mr. Jacobs’ door number is 1106.”

I thanked him and proceeded in the direction of which he pointed. The hallway was better decorated than some of the best hotels I’d ever visited. The crown molding was trimmed in a gold stain and the color on the walls had a suede facade. This was exclusive.

I knocked on the door and then rang the bell. I couldn’t believe my nervousness. I’d told myself I wouldn’t be on edge. There was no need to be nervous. In little time, Azmir opened the door. He wore a huge sexy grin that was breathtaking. I was winded by his mesmeric presence. 

“Ms. Brimm
, you made it.” His voice was filled with an undertone as he extended his arm inviting me in.
Breathe, Rayna!

Snapping myself back into reality, I replied, “Did you expect me to cancel?” as I stepped in.

“No. It’s just that I’m happy to see you. Can I take your things?” he asked exhibiting manners. I handed him my purse, jacket, and a gift bag with a bottle of wine and a fresh baguette roll. He opened the bag.

“Merlot?” His furrowed eyebrows didn’t eclipse his hidden smirk. “Are you trying to take advantage of me?”

The expression
little does he know
ran through my mind. I didn’t respond as I was admiring his posh apartment. In complete awe I breathed, “Wow, Azmir.”

He nodded and smiled gracefully.

“Do you mind if I take a look around? I’d like to get inspired while I’m still at the point of decorating my new place.” My senses were on overload at the fine art that hung from the broad walls of the high cathedral ceilings, the boastful colors—hues of blue, gray and tan. The floors were black antique bamboo wood that ran long throughout the foyer, living room and the hall leading to the back of the apartment. The motif was like something out of
Elegant Residences
. It…
the elegance, the ambiance, the modishness
all spoke of A.D. Jacobs. 

“By all means.
I’ll go check on the food before I burn the building down,” Azmir granted and I turned to pace towards the back of the apartment.

“Damnnnnn!” he
sang like a D-boy.

“What?” I
jumped.

“You look…really…nice.” He eyed my lower torso shaking his head while his eyes danced in delight. I wore a white loosely fit, off the shoulder belly shirt with a pair of fitting high-waist curtail cut jean shorts and sandals. I
playfully hissed him away and continued my journey.

The place was massive! The ceiling was so high and the windows were colossal throughout the entire apartment, I couldn’t decide which room had the better view. The view of the Marina
vista was spectacular. His living room had all white furniture including the legs of the coffee table and end tables. It was so contemporary. The white animal fur throw-blanket tossed over the back of the leather sofa was a touch of class. The formal dining room was dark tones trimmed in mahogany wood. The paintings on the walls consisted of colors that masterfully blended with the themes of each room. I counted the number of bedrooms; there were four but five and half bathrooms. As I counted them, I looked for signs of women and children. After all, he said he didn’t have any this would’ve been confirmation.

There was even an office with wall-to-wall built-in
bookcases. The wood of his desk was as rich with antiquity similar to the ones I used to see on television as a child. It was that authentic wood with the age markings from years of wear and tear to prove it. There were two conference chairs in front that sat on a gorgeous Oriental rug. Off to the side was a small meeting desk in the corner, not dissimilar to his offices at the rec center and in Cobalt. There were pieces of décor that I couldn’t reference and others I couldn’t pronounce. All of this was too much for me to take in.

I made my way to the master bedroom
—
correction
—master suite. When I walked through the door, I was startled by my own reflection in the wall-length mirror that was trimmed in gold. The floor was hardwood and from what I could see off in the distance, a massive, rich, thick cream color rug encompassed the bed that I could only see a portion of from the foyer. I removed my sandals to enter.

T
he first entrance off the corridor was to his walk-in closet to my left. The light was on so I walked in and shrieked, “Oh my goodness!” as I clutched my imaginary pearls. My mouth swung open for flies to fill it. His closet was larger than my bedroom. The walls were covered by off-white wooden opened closets and shelves, and in the center of the room were two gigantic oak islands with marble countertops. The drawer fixtures were some fancy design of brass.

I looked up at the lighting and noticed the chic chandelier hanging centered of the room. There was even a flat screen television facing the padded
benches that were draped with shopping bags of various sizes.
Someone has recently been on a shopping spree.
Everything was anally organized from his suits to his denim to his sweats. His tie rack was on a carousel that spun with an effortless push. It was unbelievable.

As I walked
against the racks of clothes I ran my hand through them until it led me back out into the bedroom from a separate entrance. Once out I gasped for air when I saw, a few feet away, the oversized sleigh bed resting on a pedestal befitting of a king. There were two flat screen TV’s. One television faced his bed while the other was placed in the generously spaced sitting room over a fireplace where I noticed a door leading to the patio with a gorgeous view of the water.

I willed myself
to hurry and leave the bedroom before I chained myself to the damn bed like a mad woman. But before I did I went over to feel the material of his bedding. It was lush, soft, and welcoming. His entire place looked like a show room and his bedroom was just the same.

I turned to start back out to the living room when I saw Azmir leaning against the wall of the corridor. His disarming eyes stopped me in my tracks. He wore a placid expression. I worried if I had imposed on his privacy by
voyaging in his bedroom.