My hand flies up to my mouth. “Oh my god.”
“The neighbors heard the shot and called the police. There was a standoff and he shot himself.”
“That’s awful.”
“My parents still blame themselves. They tried to get her to stay with them, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“She was trying to live her life,” I say, sort of understanding.
Tuesday, November 8th
The single biggest reason.
5am
Cooper and I get up early and drive to Manhattan Beach.
Last night I asked the hotel to get us wetsuits, swimsuits, towels, and changes of clothes. We didn’t pack anything since we weren’t planning on spending the night.
“Have you ever surfed before?”
“On a summer vacation to Hawaii.”
I carefully look at the surfers who are assembled, double checking that Vincent’s not one of them. Or even to see if there’s someone who looks like they don’t belong.
I spot Mark and wander over to him.
“Keatyn!” he says, giving me a full body hug. “What’s up, girl?”
“Not much. I was back in town and saw this was the place to be. I don’t even have a board.”
“Aw, hell. I’ve got three in my van. You can borrow one.”
“Thanks. This is my friend, Cooper.”
Mark gives Cooper a fist bump, and I say hey to the guys that I used to surf with almost every day.
“Brooklyn is shredding it up on the tour,” one says.
“How is he?” another asks.
“He’s living his dream,” Mark answers for me, coming back with two boards.
Wherever they take him, I say quietly to myself as the sky brightens.
I was so worried about how his leaving would affect me that I didn’t once stop to think how good this would be for him. He’s already changed so much. The boy I left has grown into a man.
I sit down in the sand and call him, knowing he’s already awake. “Hey, guess where I am.”
“Are you safe? That's all I care about. Tommy and James told me about everything that happened at the airport and how Garrett fired your bodyguard.”
“Two things I want to tell you before we get into that.”
“What's that?”
“I’m proud of you for living your dream, and I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive.”
“Keats, you're the one who encouraged me. I'll never forget you telling me to follow my dream that night at the Undertow.”
“I was so afraid you were never going to kiss me.”
“I told you I've been researching stalking cases, but I’m not loving what I'm finding out. So I'm going to come up with another way.”
“Okay.”
“We're gonna be together again, Keats. On the beach, where we belong. Don't lose sight of that dream, okay?”
I look out at the waves, the guys surfing, and feel calm.
I feel like he's right.
“Are you at the beach?” he asks.
“How did you know?”
“I can hear the waves and a seagull.”
“I’m at Manhattan Beach surfing with Mark and the boys. They say hi.”
“How many sunrises have we watched together, Keats?”
“A lot.”
“My favorite part of the day.”
“I’m gonna go catch a few waves before we have to go.”
“Show those boys a little chaos.”
“I’ll try.”
We’ve been surfing for a couple hours when Cooper pulls me aside and says, “I'm starting to get nervous about being here.”
“Why?”
“He knows you like to surf. He probably went everywhere and offered a reward to anyone who tips him off when you show up. I don’t like the way those two guys over there are looking at you.”
I smile. “Maybe they just like my bikini.”
“They took your picture, made a phone call, and seem to be watching you even closer. I'd like to get out of here.”
“If you’re right, we won’t want them to see our car. You go get the car. Drive up two blocks. I’ll meet you.”
“Two blocks? No way. What if Vincent shows up or they try to grab you?”
“Surfers are territorial. All I have to do is say the guys are creeping me out, and that they took my picture. They still think of me as B’s girl. While they confront them, I’ll sneak away.”
Cooper grins at me. “That’s a good plan.”
I walk up to Mark and tell him the guys are creeping me out. He immediately grabs three guys and goes to confront them.
When he does, I take off running.
I hide behind cars, dodge behind a restaurant, and then sprint down a sidewalk.
I see our car ahead, idling at the curb.
I jump in the car, slightly out of breath. “It worked. Go!”
Cooper drives all over, making sure he’s not followed. Then we head back to the hotel, where we get a different rental car, just in case. We order room service and eat it on the deck overlooking the water.
“I could get used to this,” Cooper says, looking out at the beach and down at his huge breakfast.
He flips through the paper while he eats.
“Oh, wow.”
“What?”
“Look at this.”
I read a small piece about how Vincent cut short the Miami tryouts and won’t be back, much to the outrage of fans who had waited in line for up to three days to audition.
“That really sucks for them,” I say, feeling bad.
Cooper cocks his head. “I never paid attention to the name of his film company before. Have you?”
“Uh, no. What is it?”
“A Breath Behind You.”
A shudder runs down my spine. “Think that’s directed at me?”
“I’d say so, considering it spells out ABBY.”
Wednesday, November 9th
We’ve changed.
7:30am
Cooper and I got back late last night. I woke up to a sweet text from Aiden.
Hottie God: I missed you. Breakfast?
After all the excitement of the last two days, I decide to wear a really cute uniform look.
Then I meet Aiden for breakfast.
“So, how was your trip? Was your sister surprised?” Aiden asks as we sit down in the café.
“She was so surprised.”
“So tell me more about the party.”
I wish I could tell him everything. How scary it was to see Vincent at the airport. How amazing it felt to sit on the beach and to surf again. How I’ve been wanting to go home so badly.
But how home has changed.
“Well, she loved my presents. Used them to put on a little play. She got chocolate chips, and the stage she wanted, and she got to build sandy castles with . . .”
“With?”
“My ex. He was there when I got there. I had called him because she asked for something special from him. I just wanted him to send her something, but he actually gave her what she asked for.”
“And what was that?”
“She wanted to build sand castles with him. He bought her a sand box.”
“But if your family is just visiting Vancouver, how did that work? Were you at a hotel?”
“Um, no. Uh, they leased a house because my stepdad has business there. Hotels are tricky with four little kids, a dog, and a nanny.”
“Oh, so they’ll be in the country more often?”
“Yeah, I think maybe. We didn’t really talk much about that. It was all about the party.”
“And what about the Keats guy? How was seeing him?”
“Emotional.”
“Emotional, how?”
“Like, a lot of emotions. First, I was shocked that he was there. Then I was touched that he was. Sometimes it felt normal, like we’d never fought. Like we were friends again. Other times it felt a little awkward. Some of the things he said made me want to cry. Other things made me want to laugh.”
Aiden laughs. “That
is
a lot of emotions.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t mention love. Are you still in love with him?”
“I think part of me will always love him. But right now, no, I’m not in love with him. I can’t be.”
“Why can’t you be?”
“Because we can’t be together. I’m here. He’s off doing his thing. He’s grown up a lot, though. Going abroad has been really good for him.”
“Did you kiss him?”
“Right when I was getting ready to leave, he kissed me. Once, on the lips.”
“And how did it feel?”
“Different.”
“Why is that?”
“Because we’ve changed.” I gaze into Aiden’s eyes. “Because, he’s not you.”
Aiden’s eyes search mine for the truth. He must see what he’s looking for because he puts his hand behind my neck and guides my lips toward his.
And when they touch, I realize why the beach didn’t feel like home anymore.
Because Aiden wasn’t on it.
After we kiss, I say, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For listening to what happened without getting mad and walking away.”
He murmurs into my ear, “I’m never walking away again.”
I owned your rug.
History
I bring Riley a cup of coffee to history class.
“Oh,” he snaps. “I have a pickup line I meant to tell Dallas.”
“And the coffee reminded you of it?’
“Yeah. Next time he’s standing in line for coffee and there’s a hot girl there, he should say,
Do you like it steamy or creamy?
”
“How is that even a pickup line? You just made a naughty comment.”
“I have one I’d like to say to Ariela right about now.”
“What’s that?”
“I say we bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.”
I give Riley a fist bump. “You and I think a lot alike. I’d like to say that to Aiden too.”
“Ooooh. You wanna get naked with Aiden?”
“Mr. Johnson, Miss Monroe, I’m trying to give a lecture here.”
Riley and I roll our eyes at each other. Then sit here bored to tears.
I whisper to him, “You know, it seems silly in this day and age that we have to take notes.”
“I don’t take notes. I let you take them for me. I’m a good delegator.”
“You’re not a delegator. You’re lazy.”
“You’re the one working while I’m texting my sexy girlfriend. What does that make you?”
I shake my head. “Why can’t he just email notes to us? Although, if I didn’t take notes, I’d probably fall asleep. And is it naughty texting?”
“Just stuff,” Riley says with an adorable grin. I swear, he’s gotten even cuter since he and Ariela started dating. He still has that cocky swagger, but he just beams all the time.
“What kind of stuff? I’m stuck in junior high with Aiden. Let me live vicariously through you.”
Riley almost drops his phone. “What about Dawson?”
“I haven’t done anything with him lately.”
“Why?”
“Because Aiden kissed me with his tongue.”
The teacher shushes us again, so he texts me.
Riley: So you like Aiden?
Me: Yeah. Although, when I went to visit my family, my ex was there.
Riley: How did that go?
Me: We’ve become friends again.
Riley: Just friends?
Me: Yeah, for now. I don’t know what the future will hold.
Riley: Your ex was a jerk to you. You should forget about him.
Me: He was my first love. Part of me still loves him.
Riley: Sometimes the past should stay in the past.
Me: HA! Someone should tell our teacher that!
Riley: I dare you to ask him why we have to study history.
I raise my hand and interrupt the lecture.
“Yes, Miss Monroe?”
“Why do we have to study history?”
“Well, that’s easy. We study history so we don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.”
Riley: OMFG! The universe just spoke to you again! How does THAT relate to your life?
Me: Are you saying if I got back together with my ex that I would be repeating the mistakes of my past?
Riley: Uh, yeah.
Me: People grow and change. He’s changed. He’s not the person that he used to be. Neither am I.
Riley: I REALLY want to have sex with Ariela on the furry rug, but if I try, will she get mad at me again? Would that be repeating a mistake of my past?
Me: I have no idea. But I’ve always wanted to have sex on the furry rug too.
Riley: You’ve been coveting my rug?!
Me: I owned your rug. Has Dallas had sex on the rug?
Riley’s eyes get huge and he holds his hands up to his chin like he’s covering himself up. “He wouldn’t dare! Would he?”
I just shrug my shoulders.
Shirtless for five days.
Ceramics
Peyton texts me during ceramics.
Peyton: After you and Aiden went to that French restaurant, he told me you said something about us going to St. Croix with you for Thanksgiving break. We just found out that our parents are going to be on a safari. Whitney wants me to come with her to Palm Beach. Needless to say, the idea of spending the break with her family makes me want to poke my own eyes out. I thought about going to the Johnsons. I know that Riley and Aiden are friends, but I didn’t want it to be awkward with Dawson. So that’s kinda out. That leaves St. Croix with you.
Me: Glad to hear I’m so high on the list of options.
Peyton: You are first on our list of options. I’m just telling you that my backup plans suck so that you will feel sorry for us and say yes.