Love Me Like That (23 page)

He huffs, and I smile, loving the fact that I can still get on his nerves.

“You sure you’re ready to get back to work?” He asks changing the subject to one he may feel like is safer.

“As I’ll ever be,” I answer. “I got a lot of shit I need to clean up. Quite a bit of stuff has been neglected. Smaller things completely ignored when I lost focus even on the larger issues.”

“Someone has been handling business up there. The crews are happy, the projects keep coming in, and my checks aren’t bouncing.” He winks at me.

I smile at him, appreciating his support and acknowledgment that I haven’t fucked things up completely at work. I think about the other non-work related issue I have to clean up and put an end to, and I hope that I can have at least a few days to deal with current issues before that rears its ugly head.

“Some days I wish work was as simple as showing up, reading schematics, and working with my hands building all day.” I look down at London, asleep on my side. Simple. I wish things were simple. I wish decisions were easy, and grief was less difficult to overcome.

“Well, you make the big bucks, so your job is supposed to be harder,” Kegan says in reply.

I huff. “Well, I have enough money to last several lifetimes. I just don’t want the company to end up in someone else’s hands. Dad has worked too hard to let it fall into the hands of a man who is not a Cole.”

Kegan holds his hands up near his head. “Don’t look at me. I’ve got no desire. That shit will make a man age too fast. I’m having fun as a young man.”

I grin at him. “It will catch up with you Kegan. Besides twenty-eight isn’t all that young. You ever plan to settle down instead of breaking a million hearts?”

He smirks at me. “Imagine how many hearts I’d be breaking if I picked only one. You’re a bachelor too, lest you forget.” He stills and his eyes go wide.

I shake my head slightly and give him a weak smile. “I never forget that I’m single, Kegan.”

“Fuck, man. Shit.” He runs his hands over his baby face roughly. “I wasn’t even thinking. I’m always saying stupid shit.”

I shrug my shoulder with more force than I’d planned and I feel London jerk beside me. She raises her head and looks around, confusion marking her brow.

“Hey,” I whisper running my hand down her back as she pulls away from me, sitting up straight. “Why don’t you go get into bed?”

She yawns and stretches clearly without thinking about being in mixed company. I watch my brother watch her perfect tits as they rise gracefully and jut forward in her tank top as she stretches her arms over her head.

I cough to get his attention and glare at him. He raises his hands in surrender once again and mouths that he’s sorry. I can’t blame him really. She’s incredibly gorgeous, and he’s not quite a dog but very permissive in his sexual proclivities. I can’t expect more from him around her. It would be unfair to his abilities.

“Night,” she whispers, placing her hand on my chest, leaning toward me. I was going to let it happen, needing her lips on mine more than I realized until she started to shift toward me; then Kegan shifts his weight on the cushion beside her, and she suddenly remembers he’s here. I see her eyes go wide at the realization. She pulls back suddenly and stands from the couch.

“Nice to meet you, Kegan,” she says quickly without meeting his eyes and disappears down the hall. Seconds later I hear the door to the guest room close.

I avoid Kegan’s eyes as long as I can, but I know there’s a point to his silence. When I reluctantly raise my eyes to meet his all I get is a pair of raised eyebrows.

He full-out laughs, head thrown back; the sound is reverberating off of the walls. Finally, he calms enough and rises off of the couch. “I see how you’re going to play it.”

“Roommates,” I say again, knowing he believes it about as much as I do.

I walk him to the door and shut it on him as he’s still laughing and trying to get his coat on.

I’ve been lying on my bed for hours tossing and turning, unable to go to sleep. Giving up on sleep, I roll over and turn on the bedside table lamp. The room is covered with a faint amber glow from the soft light. I look at the framed picture of Savannah that has taken up permanent residence beside the lamp.

I’d give anything to have her back. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve attempted to bargain with the devil for one more day. Every negotiation with God and Lucifer himself has gone unanswered. I think back, once again, about the means I was planning to use to arrange the meeting between myself and whichever one I ended up in front of. It seems like a lifetime ago that I loaded that glock and met that dirty dealer in that back alley on Main.

I know what I need to be able to sleep, and she’s in the other room. I told my father I’d be at work on time, and I plan to keep my word. The last thing I need is to break another promise to the man who’s been nothing but supportive of me my entire life.

“I’m so sorry, Savannah,” I say to her picture and stand from the bed. My mind is battling between the pain at leaving the bed I shared with my wife and the excitement I feel heading into the room where my lover sleeps.

After a brief stop by my suitcase to grab a condom, I’m sliding into the bed behind London and pulling her against my chest.

“I didn’t think you’d show up,” she says groggily.

“Never doubt that this is right where I want to be,” I whisper against her neck. She doesn’t respond, and I’m thankful that maybe she didn’t hear my vulnerable admission.

Kadin crawled in the bed with me last night after hours of wondering if he’d ever come to me again. I’d contemplated going to him, but he was very specific about not wanting me in his room, so I lay in bed practically questioning my existence for hours.

He showed up at some point. I even remember him muttering something beautiful and sweet while I was near sleep. This morning I can’t recall his words just that they made me smile and caused my restlessness to calm almost immediately.

The sun isn’t even up, but he’s grinding his erection against my ass cheeks. I know he’s doing it to try to rouse me from sleep, but I’m not playing the way he wants; rather I’m pretending to still be asleep. Or at least I was until he slid his erection between my legs and brushed my clit with it. There’s no denying I’m awake now since I just let out a ridiculous moan.

“If you keep pretending to be asleep, you’re going to make me late for work,” he groans and cups my breast, rolling my already hardened nipple between his fingers.

I hum at the pleasure he’s causing. “You could’ve gotten started already.” I shift my hips back and forward, stroking his length deeper between my legs.

“Forgive me for wanting permission before I thrust into you.” He says it playfully but I can tell he’s thinking about what I told him about all of the times Brian took me by force, without permission. He nibbles on my neck, and it causes a wave of tremors over my body. I forget the past immediately.

“So I overstepped the other morning when I sucked you into my mouth before you woke up?”

He pinches my nipple slightly harder, enough to elicit another moan from my mouth.

“No. Of course not. Consider this as the verbal consent of all future morning blowjobs
and
sex for that matter. If you’re ever in doubt, the answer is always ‘yes’ where this pussy is concerned.” He slides his hand from my now tender nipple to the apex of thighs.

“Good to know,” I pant and then groan loudly as he sinks into me from behind.

I lift my leg and shift it backward over his leg, opening myself up further so he can thrust harder, deeper. His hand continues to explore my cleft with almost debilitating accuracy. Less than two weeks I’ve known this man, and he is already playing my body like a musical instrument he’s been manipulating since early childhood.

I’m slick and needy; my core is rippling, grabbing at him, begging for more. He answers the call with expert finesse as he thrusts forward and grinds against me in circular motions. His fingers match the perfect symphony.

“You’re so deliciously wet for me, London.”

I close my eyes and let his praise wash over me. I arch my back, tilting my hips at a better angle, one that allows him to plunge deeper than ever before.

I’m right on the cusp of orgasm when he wrenches his hips away, pulling his thick cock from inside me. I whimper at the loss. He repositions his weight and flips me fully on my stomach, raising my hips up and leaving the top half of my body on the bed, my back in a severe arch.

I cry out into the pillows when he thrusts back into me without warning. The tiny bite of pain from his initial thrust subsides immediately turning into pure erotic pleasure.

“Look at me,” he demands.

I respond without hesitation and turn my head so I can see him over my shoulder. He’s got his lips clamped between his teeth, and his eyes are heavy with pleasure, the look on his face almost pained.

“Come for me, London.” My body obeys before I can open my mouth to tell him I’m not ready.

All I can do is tremble and watch his face as his body responds in kind to mine. I feel the wild throbbing of his cock deep inside me as my eyes once again grow heavy with exhaustion.

He leans over my body and kisses my cheek which is still turned over my shoulder, my eyes watching him, almost like I’m waiting for his next command.

Just as he eases out of me, his cell phone alarm begins to chime on the bedside table.

“Perfect timing,” he says as he slides off the bed and pulls off the condom.

I turn around, so I’m sitting cross-legged on the bed facing him. It is then that I realize my tank top is still on, just pushed up over my breasts. My yoga pants are nowhere to be seen, and I can’t believe he got me out of them without waking me.

He grabs his phone and turns off the alarm; leaning over, he kisses me softly on the lips. “I’ve got to shower and get to the office.”

He’s almost to the door when I finally speak up. “When were you expecting me to start?”
Why am I suddenly nervous?

“I figured next week would be soon enough. Gives you this week to get acclimated to Spokane.” He lowers his eyes. “Figure out what you want to do.”

“Okay,” I whisper to his back as he leaves the room. Seconds later I hear his bedroom door shut and just like that he closes me out of his life once again.

I’m almost certain ‘figure out what you want to do’ is his nice way of telling me I have a week to make plans for alternate living arrangements, at least, that’s how I’m reading things.

I roll out of the bed and tug on the yoga pants Kadin had taken off of me this morning and head into the kitchen. During my snoop session last night I discovered that coffee is literally the only consumable thing in this place.

I set about to making an entire pot, knowing I’m going to need quite a bit to keep me going for the entire day. I was restless for the hours before he climbed into bed with me and I’m already feeling the tiredness sneak up on me. That in combination with the energy spent on this emotional rollercoaster means a second pot may be needed by midday.

I’m pouring Kadin coffee into a travel mug I found in the cabinet when I feel him enter the room. The air seems to change around him, growing denser, and this morning I can’t even determine if it is a good thing or a bad thing. I resolve myself to act just as he told his brother my station is. If a roommate is what he wants, then a roommate is what he’ll get.