Love of a Rockstar (21 page)

“Do you remember why I chose to attend pastry school here in Seattle?” I asked.

Luke nodded. “Yeah, because it was one of the best programs out there.”

“No, because I couldn’t imagine leaving you.”

His mouth formed a circle of surprise. “Oh.”

The day I got my letter of acceptance from the Le Cordon Bleu in Paris was on the day of Luke’s and my two-year anniversary. We had discussed moving in together and had started to look at places. The letter sat on my desk for two weeks before I came to the conclusion that my future was in Seattle with Luke.

“This is my second chance to live my dream and to give Nil a once in a lifetime experience,” I said.

Luke’s eyes pleaded with me. “But what about being a family again? I promise as soon as I am back from tour we will all take a trip to Paris.” He walked over to me and tipped my chin up to meet his gaze. “Don’t throw away what we have.”

Leaning down, his lips brushed against mine. I closed my eyes and soaked in the feel of his touch. What I had with Luke was dangerous, heart pounding, and out of my control. When he pulled back, I let out a sigh.

“I know you say this is about Nil also but I think it’s really about you. You can’t be selfish,” Luke said.

My eyes snapped open as fury zapped down my spine. I stared coldly at him. “Selfish? Was it selfish when I raised our daughter by myself? Or how about those sixty hour work weeks I put in in order to have food on the table? Is that selfish?” I let out a bitter laugh. “For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even show up at your own daughter’s birth. The title of selfish belongs to you, not me.”

Luke looked at me as if I were a lunatic. “What are you talking about? I was there.”

“Stop lying. It’s not a flattering color on you.”

“I was there,” he repeated firmly. “But Camille wouldn’t let me see you.”

I studied his face to detect any sign of bullshit, but I saw none. Luke was telling the truth.

“As soon as I got your voicemail that you were in labor, I hopped a plane to Seattle, but in my rushed panic, I lost my phone,” he explained.

That answered the question why I wasn’t alerted to his presence at the hospital. However, it didn’t answer why Camille barred Luke from seeing the birth of his daughter. When she had no authority in the matter.

“When I got to the hospital, I spotted Camille in the hallway about to go into your room. She told me I had no right to show up here and it would only bring heartache to you.” Luke’s mouth set into a hard line. “So we struck up a deal. Until I was ready to be the man you deserved, Camille would send me pictures of Nil.” Luke took out his phone and handed it to me. “Go to the photos and you’ll see.”

I clicked on the photo icon and sure enough, over 4,000 photos documented the course of Nil’s life from when she was a day old to the present. And half of them were candid shots. There was one where I was holding a two-week-old Nil to my chest, my hair a mess. Another one was with Nil, playing dollies alone in the living room. Although I didn’t agree with what Camille did, I knew she had my best interests in mind.

“The hardest thing I ever had to do was leave that hospital without you two, but for the past four years I’ve hoped one day I could see more than just a glimpse into your lives.” Luke brushed his thumb down my cheek. “I don’t always say the right thing but the past four years I have lived my life for you so I could come home and stop being an observer. M, I don’t make sense without you.”

OVER THE YEARS, whenever Nil accomplished something big like taking her first step, or something small like coloring in the lines, a deep sadness would radiate inside me. Her father wasn’t there to share in the joy that our little girl was growing up. Camille always was, though, and while I never thought twice about that fact, I now understood why she was. My best friend was creating a visual documentation to show Luke the family he was missing out on. And to motivate him to be the father Nil and I deserved.

Much to her credit, it worked. Luke had come back into our lives with an open heart and mind, ready to accept his role as a father. Originally, I thought he was protecting Nil and me from the public eye, but in reality, keeping us his little secret was an excuse to be half a father.

Not wanting to be swept away by his words once again, I tried to hide the effect they had on me. Putting a safe distance between us, I handed his phone back.

“What picture is your favorite?” I asked

After a couple swipes with his thumb, he settled on one and showed it to me. Nil was about one year old with a pink ribbon in her blonde hair. She was propped on my hip, wearing a pink-ruffled dress and Mary Jane shoes. The picture was taken right as I spilled grapefruit juice down her dress, resulting in a freeze-framed scream by Nil and a wide-eyed look from me. We were at Nil’s first birthday party. As always, I was trying to juggle too many things at once that day.

“It showed me what it was really like for you to be a single mother, and how good you are at it,” Luke explained.

“What are you talking about? I ruined Nil’s birthday party.”

“Babe, I am sure she doesn’t remember her first birthday, let alone that you spilled juice down her dress, but that’s beside the point. Look behind you guys.” Luke pointed to the princess banner that took me two days to make. “You work a full time job, take care of Nil, and still manage to give the world to her.”

An embarrassed flush went up my cheeks. “It was a princess themed party. Anybody with half a brain could’ve pulled it off.”

Luke’s intense gaze flittered over my face “But you aren’t anybody. You’re her mother,” he said.

In that moment, the dam holding back my love for Luke burst. He wasn’t perfect—hell, I wasn’t either—but he completed me in ways Finn hadn’t. And couldn’t. This whole time I was wrong to think I was throwing away my dream of Paris to be with Luke. I had a second chance to pursue another one of my dreams. To be a family.

I laid my hand on his cheek. “I love you, Luke Anderson McHenry.”

“I love you too Marlene Hope soon to be McHenry.”

Laughing, I grinned. “We will see.”

Luke’s mouth closed down on mine. I sighed in pleasure as his tongue gently licked my bottom lip. Sliding my hands up his hard chest, my arms circled around his neck. Our bodies were pressed together but it wasn’t close enough. I needed to feel him inside me. As if he read my thoughts, we broke apart, breathless and hungry for more.

“Come with me,” Luke said.

He led me through the steel door into the dark hallway. We took a sharp left then another right until we got to an unmarked door. Luke wiggled the doorknob and it opened. Flicking on the light, he closed the door behind us. The room had a couch and a dressing table with a bouquet of flowers. Music from the ongoing concert provided ambience. The show had gone on as best it could without Luke.

“This was my dressing room for the night,” Luke explained.

“Enough talk.” His pupils dilated with arousal as I pushed him onto the couch. “It’s your turn now,” I straddled his lap while my fingers moved to his fly.

Luke stopped me from yanking down his zipper. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Shut up,” I growled.

At my commanding tone, a grin tilted up his lips. “That’s the sex kitten I know and love.”

A spilt second later, his hands were in my hair and he was pulling my mouth down to his for a kiss that had my insides reeling with lust. When we broke apart, his eyes were lit with mischief.

“In case you were mistaken who was in charge…” Luke said.

Frustrated with his games, I pushed him back onto the couch. No longer laughing, Luke watched with unbridled passion as I unzipped his pants. A giggled escaped my lips when I saw he was wearing superman boxers.

He sat up on his elbows. “What? They’re my lucky boxers.”

My thoughts on the matter evaporated when Luke guided my hand through the opening in his underwear to his thick hard heat. I wrapped my fingers around the base and slid upwards.

“That feels amazing,” he moaned.

I bent forward and took him in my mouth. He tasted clean and salty as my mouth matched the rhythm with my hand. Swirling my tongue around the head of his penis, Luke bit out a curse word. As I drew him closer over the edge, I felt myself grow damp with arousal. But before I knew what was happening, Luke tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled me higher on his lap.

“Hey,” I protested. “I wasn’t done yet.”

“I am not getting off unless you are as well,” he replied gruffly.

Luke gripped me by the waist and lifted me off of him. “Lie down on the couch. I’ve needed you naked beneath me for the past forty-eight hours. I can’t wait another second.”

No one had ever talked to me like this before, with such honest desire, painting a picture with words that had me shuddering with pleasure as much as any caress. I complied with his orders and lay down on the gruff fabric. With his help, my dress was tugged down to my middle, leaving my bright pink bra on display. His eyes took in my ample cleavage with sheer satisfaction.

“You haven’t changed at all.” He slipped my right bra strap off my shoulder and planted a kiss on the bare spot of skin. “Just as beautiful.”

I gasped as he continued to my left shoulder, sending delicious shivers down my spine. It had been more than 1500 days since I had felt the kind of ecstasy only Luke could give me, and I was more than ready for it.

“Luke, please,” I begged. “No. Foreplay. I. Need. You.”

Drunk off of lust, my brain no longer formed complete sentences. His fingers inched up the inside of my bare thighs. I thanked the gods above that I decided to not wear underwear tonight.

“Is this what you want?” Luke brushed his thumb over my throbbing sex. “Or this?” His finger slid inside me.

“Luke,” I gasped out as he leaned forward and captured one of my breasts in his mouth. Jolts of pleasure zipped through me. I rocked my body against his finger, closing my eyes against the overwhelming sensation.

“Look at me.”

I pried open my eyelids and locked my gaze onto Luke’s beautiful face when I felt a low burning heat in my lower abdomen.

“Kiss me,” I moaned.

Luke captured my mouth with his as I felt wave after wave pleasure rock through my very core. My hips thrust upwards and I gave into the tsunami wave of an orgasm.

“Holy crap,” I whispered when it subsided.

Luke rested his forehead against mine. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

“I don’t think my body can take another round.”

His eyes burned with unfulfilled lust as he got rid of my dress. Dragging his gaze over my half naked torso, he let out a low groan.

“Too bad, because I need you.” He grabbed a condom from his pocket and kicked off his pants.

At the sight of the tent in his boxers, my insides quivered in anticipation. “Let me do it.” I held out my hand for the condom, desperate to feel his thick heat against my palm.

“No. I can’t take any more torture.”

He shed the last remaining piece of cloth from his body and slipped on the condom. Angling my hips so that they were outside his thighs, he thrust into me in one long stroke. My breath rushed out of me and I let out a whimper. Drowning in sensations, Luke ran his hands along my body as he claimed his own pleasure.

THE NEXT MORNING, I awoke blurry-eyed and disoriented in a plush hotel bed. The events of the previous night came rushing back to me. Once Luke and I finished our tryst in the dressing room, we went back to Luke’s hotel room and had sex in the shower, on the floor, and for the final encore, against the window. But I still longed for Luke’s hands on my naked body. I stretched my arms above my head, relishing in how relaxed I felt and snuggled deeper into the comforter. It had been years—four to be exact—since I’d had a decent night’s sleep.

“Hey sleepyhead.”

I cast a sideways glance over to Luke who looked staggeringly handsome in the morning light. Compared to me who probably looked like a whorish clown. With that in mind, I jumped out of bed, and made a quick dash to the bathroom, naked, as a jaybird.

“Cute ass,” Luke called after me.