Love of a Rockstar (25 page)

Luke’s intense gaze bore into me. “That’s not a bad thing M.”

“Maybe not, but it leads to a certain kind of heartbreak I never wanted to feel again.” I placed my hand on my chest. “You shattered me when you left Luke.”

He fitted his hand over mine. “I promise you I won’t do that again. Your heart is safe with me.”

As much I wanted to believe him, there were no guarantees in life. He could leave on tour and never come back. But as I looked into his eyes, there was one thing I was sure of: Luke was worth a thousand heartbreaks.

PUTTING MY CLOTHES back on, I sneaked a glance over my shoulder at Luke. Post orgasmic bliss softened his hard jawline and his eyelashes rested against his olive skinned complexion. Dark stubble dotted his cheeks; evidence the young man I once knew was gone. When we met, he could hardly grow a thin mustache. My eyes wandered down to his six-pack abs that looked as if they were chiseled out of marble. I didn’t understand it. Luke shunned exercise and ate like a linebacker, yet didn’t have an ounce of fat on him, while one bowl of ice cream added pounds to my ass. How was that fair? I pinched my stomach between my forefingers in annoyance.

“What are you doing?”

I let out a sharp intake of breath as I whipped my head around. “I thought you were asleep.”

Luke looked at me with a grin on his face, knowing full well what I was doing. An embarrassed flush heated my cheeks. There was nothing sexier than witnessing your girlfriend examine her fat rolls said nobody ever. He beckoned me to come closer.

When I was in earshot, he whispered his secret to his toned physique. “Lots of ice cream and burritos.”

I reeled back with a laugh and threw my pillow at him. Dodging it, Luke tackled me onto the mattress.

He pinned my arms above my head with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?” I asked breathless.

“Because you shall now be punished.”

I let out a high pitch squeal as his hands attacked my sides, tickling me senseless. Hot tears of laughter rolled down my cheeks. When he saw I was gulping for air, he stopped the assault.

“Do you accept defeat?”

I jokingly narrowed my eyes at the question. “Never in a million years.”

“It’s your death wish.”

Just as Luke’s ruthless fingers were about to continue the tickle war, a voice from the doorway spoke up. “Please for the sake of my eyesight, accept defeat.”

At the sound of my mother’s voice, my head jerked up straight into Luke’s forehead. “Fuck,” he moaned in pain, collapsing onto the bed next to me.

Although I was almost fully clothed, I grappled with the sheets and pulled them up to my chin. My mother leaned against the doorframe with a look of cool indifference. An awkward silence hung in the air.

I cleared my throat. “There are doors for a reason and keys that lock those doors.”

“Yes, and windowpanes that should have glass in them.”

Right, for a brief moment I forgot about the mess in the living room. That didn’t mean it was warranted for her to barge into my house unannounced.

My mother sensed my irritation and shrugged. “I didn’t know what happened.” A flicker of worry showed on her face. “It looked as if a home invasion occurred.”

“Finn threw a chair through my window.”

Her eyes widened. The golden boy wasn’t so golden. “No,” she uttered.

I hated to admit it, but it was fun watching Finn’s image shatter to pieces. Maybe now my mother would come to accept Luke as part of my life and stop trying to push so-called “acceptable” men on me.

I looked over at Luke who was clutching his forehead. “My knight and shining armor stopped Finn from doing anymore damage.”

My mother raised an eyebrow. “By tickling him to death?”

“Funny.” Luke dropped his hand to reveal an angry red bump. “It’s nice to see you again Mrs. Parker,” he said without an ounce of sincerity.

“You too.” She gestured to his bruised cheek. “Did you get into a fight?”

“I did, but this,” he said, pointing to his forehead, “is from your daughter.”

“She always knew how to fight dirty.”

They were actually bonding over something—it was at my expense, but still they were bonding. Giddiness stirred in my stomach, and I tried to not break out into a dance. A huge smile plastered itself across my face, drawing the attention over to me.

“Does she always get like this when she’s happy?” Luke asked.

“Annoyingly so.”

Bonding time was over. My ego couldn’t handle all this praise. I jumped out of bed and quickly threw on my t-shirt.

My mother clucked her tongue in disapproval. “Ladies don’t wear animal print on their undergarments.”

Obviously, I didn’t throw on my t-shirt fast enough. Ignoring her critical eye, my main objective became to usher her out of my bedroom so Luke could get dressed in peace.

“Is Nil in the living room?” I questioned.

My mother’s face softened. “Yes she is. We had a lovely time.”

“What did you guys do?”

As she filled me in on their day together, I discreetly steered her down the hall and shot a wink back at Luke.

“Thank you,” he mouthed.

It didn’t matter how much they bonded. At the end of the day, my mother was a piece of work.

She stopped in the middle of the hallway, sensing my attention was diverted elsewhere. “Marlene, are you listening to me?”

“Yes mom.”

Satisfied, she kept yakking off my ear until we got into the living room. Nil was dressed in a hot pink tutu with a long strand of pearls around her neck. She looked like a modern day princess.

When she saw me, she put down her Barbies and launched herself at my legs. “Mommy.”

“Hey peanut, how was your day with grandma?”

“Good,” she said distracted as she peeked around my body. “Is daddy here?”

Three days, and I was already second fiddle to Luke. I sighed, placing my hand on top of her head. “Yes, he’s in the bedroom but—”

She unwound her arms from me and ran screaming down the hall in sheer excitement. I watched her disappear out of eyesight. At four years old, Nil loved with her whole heart and trusted nobody to break it. I hoped when Luke left, she wouldn’t lose that perspective.

My mother squeezed my shoulder. “You seem stressed.”

“Do I?”

She zeroed in on my nails bitten to the quick. “Yes you do. Does it have anything to do with Luke?”

I shook my head. “No…maybe.”

Stress was such a normal occurrence in my life, I hardly noticed it anymore, or why it was there. But in this case, my mother hit the cause on the head. Luke.

My mom beckoned. “Lay it on me.”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I have sort of made peace with him leaving but I feel Nil truly doesn’t understand what’s happening. Plus, I said no to Luke on stage, but what if that was the wrong decision? Should I have said yes?” I felt my pulse quicken. “How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody?”

My mom smoothed a piece of hair behind my ear. “You need to breathe.” She guided me to the couch and sat down next to me. “Do you want to know how I knew your father was the one?”

I nodded. “Please.”

“When he went out and got cold medicine for me during a snowstorm. It took two hours on foot for him to find an open drug store.”

My head cocked to the side. “You knew you wanted to marry dad because he showed human decency?”

“No because he went out of his way to make sure I was taken care of. Would Luke do the same for you?”

A vivid memory flashed into my head and I smiled. “When I was pregnant he went to three different ice cream shops to find the exact flavor I was craving. The problem was I kept changing my mind but he didn’t lose his cool. He just kept complying with my demands.”

My mom patted my knee. “I was wrong to think he wasn’t suitable for you. The man is obviously head over in heels in love with you.”

“The feeling is mutual and like I told dad, he has changed.”

“I believe it with the way he is with Nil.”

As if on cue, Luke came bouncing into the living room with Nil on his shoulders, her head dangerously close to hitting the ceiling. They were chanting “museum” at the top of their lungs. Just as I was about to wax on about safety measures, he put Nil back down on the ground.

A huge smile lit up her face. “Mommy we are going to the museum.”

“I got that.”

I turned to my mother to ask if she could lock up behind us. Getting the green light, I grabbed our coats. Nil did a dance of impatience as I wrangled her into her winter outfit.

As soon as her feet hit her shoes, she ran to the front door. “Come on.”

Luke and I shared a look of amusement which begged the question, “How did our daughter get so adorable?”

Nil stomped her foot. “Guys, you’re killing me,” she whined.

Laughing, Luke took my left hand and Nil’s right as we walked out into the cold as a family.

WHEN WE LEFT the museum, day had faded into dusk and the sky was streaked with purple and gold. The glorious sunset was the icing on the cake to a perfect day. Nil skipped joyfully ahead of us without a care in the world. Luke held my hand as we trailed behind her.

Nil abruptly stopped and bent down. A flash of copper glinted in the light. “Look!” She ran over to us, holding a penny. “It’s lucky because I found it, right?”

Luke picked it out of her palm and ran his thumb over the smooth surface. “There’s a small hole near the top. Can you give me Nil’s necklace?” he asked.

I lifted her hair to unclasp the elephant charm from around her neck. Handing it to Luke, Nil, and I watched as he threaded the penny through the gold chain. When he was done, he motioned for Nil to turn around. The two charms came to a rest on her breastbone, next to her heart.

Luke admired his work. “Now luck will always be on your side.”

“And I can keep you close too,” Nil declared.

Adoration softened his features. “Yes, baby girl, but my heart has never belonged to anybody else but you.” He crouched to his knees and opened his arms. Nil melted into his embrace.

A lump formed in my throat as I watched my daughter get the validation of love she had been seeking from her father. Luke smoothed down her hair, reluctant to let go.

“Daddy, can we go home now?” Nil asked against his shoulder.

“Anything for you princess.” He gave her one last squeeze before he loosened his hold. “Do you want a piggyback ride to the car?”

“Yes!” she screamed.

Chuckling at her reaction, Luke spun away from Nil. “Climb on.”

She maneuvered her way onto his back while Luke grabbed hold of her legs and hoisted them into the air.

“Careful,” I said.

Luke rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, I got her.”

“I want to fly daddy,” Nil said.

“You want to fly? You better hold on then.” Luke double-checked her grip was secure then took off like an airplane, dipping this way and that across the parking lot.

Squeals of elation floated in the evening air. I captured this moment in my memory and tucked it away to sustain me in the long nine-month wait before we were a family again. Nil and Luke buzzed past me.

“Crash landing,” Luke said in a pretend walkie-talkie voice. “I repeat crash landing.” He jostled Nil on his back, eliciting a giggle from her.

They did a final nosedive and came to a halt a few feet away from Luke’s car. Dread ran through my veins as I approached them. Once we left this parking lot, we had to say goodbye to Luke. I wanted to sustain our time together as long as possible.

“What do you say about ice cream?” I asked.

Nil jumped in the air. “Yes,” she cheered. “This is the best day ever!”

Luke peeked at his watched and grimaced. “I am sorry, but I have to go. The tour bus leaves in fifteen minutes.”

“Oh.”

Sensing my dramatic change in mood, Nil tugged on my skirt. “What’s wrong mommy? Are you sad?”

To make this easier on everybody, I had to slap on a happy face and pretend as if my heart wasn’t breaking. “No sweetie, just tired,” I said to her. “Let’s get you in the car.”

Luke removed my hand from the door handle. “I’ll get her strapped into her booster seat.”