Love of a Rockstar (26 page)

“You sure? There are a lot of buckles.”

“It’s easy.”

“Whatever you say,” I said.

I had the same exact thought Luke did when I bought the booster seat for Nil. An hour later, the straps were so tangled I had to call my grandmother for help. To my amazement, Luke had Nil buckled in and ready to go in under two minutes. He deserved a trophy.

When he climbed into the driver’s side, a smug smile turned up his lips. “See? Easy.”

I smacked his arm. “You mister, have a huge ego.”

“You love me.”

“I do.” I held his gaze. “I really do.”

Luke squeezed my hand and turned on the car. The drive was spent in silence, each of us in our own heads. It was crazy to think that three days ago I considered not letting Luke into our lives. Now he was such an integral part, it was hard to imagine any other way.

“We’re here.”

Dazed, I looked out the window and found us parked in front of an old building. The crumbling brick façade looked as if it would collapse any minute.

“Does somebody live here?” I questioned.

“The drummer does. Supposedly, the apartments are really nice inside.”

If you didn’t mind rats in your bathtub, which he probably didn’t. Hygiene didn’t seem to be high on his list based on our brief introduction. The click of the car unlocking pulled me from my thoughts.

“The tour bus is down the street, but I don’t want to leave Nil in the car alone,” Luke said. “And I certainly don’t want you to walk down there with me.”

“Are we in Pioneer Square?”

“Yes.”

That explained why he was worried about our safety. Pioneer Square was known as a richly historic neighborhood with its Renaissance Revival architecture. During the day, tourists walked the streets, oblivious to the seedy underbelly. Once midnight struck, the cobblestone paved alleyways turned into open-air drug markets. The clock on the dashboard, glowed 6:55 p.m.

“I can step out for a second.” I turned around to Nil who was fast asleep. Her head rested against the stuffed penguin Luke bought her. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered.

A cold gust of wind swept off the Puget Sound and snaked underneath my jacket as I got out of the car. Wrapping my arms around my body, I shivered.

Luke came around to my side. “I want you to have these.” He dangled the car keys off his finger. “That VW bug you drive isn’t safe.”

I crossed my arms and lifted my chin. “It has airbags.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, but it’s rusting and doesn’t have the best track run.”

He was right. In the winter months, the engine turned over repeatedly until it spewed a black cloud and chugged to life.

I laid my hand on the hood of the Chevrolet Equinox. A car that wasn’t associated with rock stars. “Why did you buy this one?”

“Because it has a good safety report and you hate minivans.”

A chuckle rose out of my throat. “I’m so predictable.”

His gaze flickered to the curve of my lips. “After seven years of knowing you Marlene, you still mystify me. I would hardly call you predictable”

Heat pooled in my lower stomach as he bent down and kissed me. I sighed in pleasure against his mouth. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he deepened the embrace. When we broke apart, the taste of breath mints lingered on my tongue.

Luke rested his forehead against mine. “I am sorry, I couldn’t stay longer”

“You have work.”

“Yes, but you and Nil are more important.”

I savored his words like a piece of hard candy. Three days, and Luke had turned into a family man. Hopefully his newfound outlook was enough motivation for him to make some serious changes. I couldn’t live with only seeing him for three months out of the year for the next twenty years or so.

“If I can swing the time off, maybe we can come and visit you on the road,” I said.

“I would love that.”

Luke pressed his lips against my forehead before he stepped away. “Would you mind waking up Nil? I want to say goodbye.”

“Sure.”

I opened the car door to find her already awake. Her blue eyes studied me intently, acutely aware of what was about to happen. “Does daddy have to leave?”

“Yes, sweetie he does.”

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes. “Why?”

“Because he loves being a bass player. Just like you love being a ballerina.”

Nil’s head tipped to the side, mulling over my answer. A beat later, she held out her arms. “Take me to him.”

I swallowed a laugh. Nil was watching too many princess movies. Following her command, I unbuckled her legs from the booster seat and lifted her onto my hip. Luke was off to the side with his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyes downcast. Saying goodbye to the daughter he had just gotten to know must have been heart wrenching for him.

“I want daddy to hold me,” she said.

At the sound of her voice, his gaze lifted. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the anguish written into the lines around his mouth. He wordlessly took Nil into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his upper torso and buried her head into the crook of his neck.

“Be a good girl for mama, you hear me?” Luke said

“I don’t want mama, I want you.”

The threads that were barely keeping me together, unraveled. Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as I watched Nil’s heart break in two.

“Don’t say that.”

Nil clung onto her father tighter. “If you stay daddy, I’ll be your audience.”

“I wished it worked that way, Nilly.”

Luke closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When they fluttered open, I could tell this was it. He had to leave.

I walked over to them and lightly grabbed Nil’s waist. “Come on sweet girl, we have to get home,” I said.

“No.”

Hooking her ankles, she pressed herself against Luke’s chest. Words weren’t going to pry her away from her father, because nothing would. Their bond was indestructible.

“I am sorry.” His voice was heavy with torment. “I am so sorry.” Grabbing her legs, he peeled her off his body among her screams of protest.

Her legs flayed in the air as Luke gave her over to me. Dropping to my knees, I held her tightly against my chest. Bone rattling sobs wracked her body.

“I love you,” he said to both of us.

Nil twisted around, desperately reaching out to Luke. “Don’t leave,” she wailed. “Please.”

Luke swung his bag over his shoulder, took a shuttering breath and walked away. Nil collapsed in a heap at my feet, overcome with grief.

WHEN LUKE DISAPPEARED around the corner, I scooped Nil into my arms and drove home. By the time we pulled into the driveway, her cries quieted to a whimper. Opening the car door, my heart cried out in pain when I saw the devastation on her face.

She wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve. “I’m sad, mommy.”

“I know sweetie,” I said. “I’m sad, too.”

I wanted to soak in her heartbreak with mine and see Nil’s sunny deposition come to life again. She had a beautiful smile the world deserved to see. Hopping out of the car, Nil grabbed my hand as we walked to the front door. A piece of wood was nailed over the broken window, which steeped the living room into chilly darkness.

“Hello?” I called out.

My grandmother’s fiancé appeared out of the kitchen with a tool belt wrapped around his waist. “Howdy.”

He was the last man I expected to see in my house, uninvited. I thought cowboys were supposed to have manners, but Ted blatantly didn’t.

I peered behind him to the hallway. “Is my grandmother here?”

“Nope, just me. I went home, grabbed my toolkit, and came right back to fix your window.”

Ted’s ranch was an hour drive from Queen Anne. The fact he went out of his way to show me kindness took me off guard.

“Why?” I stuttered.

Nil ambled toward Ted and stopped mere inches from his feet. Getting on her knees, she petted his snakeskin cowboy boots. “Pretty. Can I have a pair?”

He grinned. “Darling, you can have this exact pair. A couple sizes smaller, of course.”

The smile I was desperately missing lit up her face. Ted didn’t have manners and was a far cry from my grandfather, but he brought a piece of sunshine into my little girl’s world when she needed it. Therefore, he was a-ok in my book.

“Can I have them in pink?” Nil questioned.

“That sounds like a mighty fine idea. They will match your flower girl outfit at your great ma’s wedding.”

She jumped to her feet in excitement. “I’m going to be a flower girl? I have to practice!” Running out of the room, her door slammed shut.

Ted and I looked at each other, amused. “She’s mighty cute,” he said.

“She is.”

Unblocking his tool belt, he snagged a stray hammer off the floor and sauntered over to me. Although streaks of gray were woven through his hair, resemblance to the handsome young man he must have been shined in his eyes.

“Our wedding is tomorrow and we would like you and Nil to be there,” he said.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

My grandmother was head over heels in love, and in her words, why wait? As Harry said to Sally in
When Harry Met Sally
, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Then it suddenly it hit me: I shouldn’t have said no to Luke.

“Well, I’ll let you enjoy your evening.” Ted tipped his hat. “I’ll see you and Miss Nil tomorrow at five sharp.”

“See you then,” I said faintly.

Halfway out the door, I called out to him. “Ted!”

He turned around, curiously. “Yes?”

“Why did you leave my grandmother the first time?” I asked

He shrugged. “A thousand reasons but now looking back, they were just excuses hiding the truth. I was scared shitless of letting that kind of love into my life.”

His words hit close to home. “Right.”

Tipping his hat, he wished me a good night and walked out into the cold. Like Ted said, my reasons were only excuses. Luke had proven he was a good dad and a stable force in Nil’s life by making her happy. Whenever he walked into a room, she would light from within. Yes, he was gone nine months out the year, but who was I to tell him to retire at twenty-six years old? Music was his life. Without it, he wouldn’t have survived his dad walking out, or his mother’s death. But above all, I loved him. It was that simple. I found my soul mate at seventeen years old and lost him at twenty.

Now he was back and we had a second chance to be a family. Frantically, I dug through my handbag to find my cell phone when my fingers closed around a velvet box. Popping it open, a piece of string tied into a bow sat daintily inside with a note stuck to the underside of the lid.

“You are tied to me, and me to you.”

Luke was always incredibly sneaky. He must have slipped the box into my purse when I wasn’t looking. I took the note and stuck it in my wallet. A knock sounded on the front door, causing butterflies to flitter in my stomach. Maybe Luke had decided to come home.

“One second,” I called.

I swiped the smudged eyeliner from underneath my lower lash line and fluffed my hair, which hardly did anything. My eyes were still bloodshot. Whatever. Luke wasn’t marrying me for my appearance. Opening the door, my smile faltered.

“Hey, don’t look so happy to see me or anything,” Camille said.

“Sorry, I thought you were Luke.” I stepped aside to let her in. “How are you?”

As soon as she entered the living room, she zeroed in on the broken window and gave me a quizzical look. “Should I ask what happened?”

Explaining again that Finn had two personalities did not sound appealing. “No you shouldn’t.”

Camille shrugged. “Alrighty, we will get to the real reason why I am over here then. Why did you hang up on me?” She kicked off her shoes and sat crossed legged on the couch, making it abundantly clear she wasn’t going anywhere.

I rubbed my temples in annoyance. “Please, I can’t do this today.”

“What the fuck, Marlene?” She threw her hands in the air. “You’re acting as if I am a huge pain in your ass, which to be fair, I usually am, but you hide it a lot better than this.”

This was stupid. We weren’t immature thirteen-year-old girls anymore. I needed to tell her I knew about the deal she and Luke brokered behind my back. A part of me was scared to hear her side of the story, though. What if it was completely different than Luke’s? Then I’d have to decide who was lying and who was telling the truth.

“You didn’t let Luke into the hospital room when Nil was born,” I blurted out.

Camille looked at me coolly. “So he told you.”

“Yes.”

“Figured he would eventually.”

“So why did you do it?”

Camille leaned back in the chair. “He left you right when you needed him most. Why should he get the privilege?”

Flabbergasted at her holier-than-thou attitude, my cheeks flamed with anger. “Why should you?”

“Because I was the one who lived at your house when Luke left.” She pointed at her chest. “That’s right, me. And who painted the nursery and got most of Nil’s baby clothes, because you didn’t want to leave your bed?”

“You,” I mumbled.