Authors: Delia Delaney
“I love you
,
Taryn,” I heard him say. It made me pause after getting out of the car. I was about to
make a response
just as a car pulled up
behind us and I wat
ched Jared get out. “Goodnight
,” Zack said. I took the hint and shut the door, and then he
pulled away from the curb
.
Jared watched him leave, and then he looked at me standing
on
the
sidewalk
. A driver came around and handed him a bag, so I waited for him to join me.
“You don’t look very happy,” he said.
It really was good to see him, so I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m happy you’re finally here,” I said.
He set his bag on the ground and slid his hands behind my neck, looking at me for a few seconds before he kissed me. “I’m glad to be here.
You don’t even know how much I missed you.
”
He never did ask about my evening with Zack, only if everything went okay. After I gave a very
basic
answer, it wasn’t mentioned again. Maggie talked to him about the children’s museum, but I found it interesting that she never acknowledged the fact that Zack didn’t come in with us. It was almost like Jared was there, and that was okay with her. It seemed like the two were interchangeable to her, and I didn’t know what to think about that.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Zack left
town
two days later—a day early. I think he was pretty frustrated with me, or at least with the situation. He did spend a day with Maggie and I know they had a lot of fun, but because I wasn’t willing to separate myself from Jare
d, I think Zack felt shafted.
I had invited him over the next two days he was in town, but I knew he didn’t want the awkwardness of being aro
und everyone. I understood that.
I would have felt uncomfortable too. I offered to meet him for lunch or dinner too,
and he declined. T
he thought of being with both Jared an
d Zack at the same time was daunting
,
but
I wasn’t going to do it any other way
.
He
called me the night that he returned to Washington. I apologized to him for how awkward his visit was but he tried to assure me that it wasn’t my fault. He said that he was happy to at least have
seen Maggie and I after so long
,
but I knew his visit wasn’t what he’d hoped it could have been
.
“Do you think you and Maggie could come up here for a few days?” he asked me. “Don’t worry about the cost, I’ll take care of it.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. But I knew i
t wasn’t appropriate given the circumstances.
“You have a choice, Taryn. I’d like you to decide what
you
want to do, not what Jared would be happy with.”
“I do make my own choices, Zack. Just because it’s not what
you
want…”
“Taryn…”
He sighed, and I knew one of two things was going to happen. We were either going to get into an argument, or he was going to—
“I love you so much, this is killing me.”
—
Make things even harder.
“I
feel
we belong together,
” he continued. “B
ut I understand that you’re being loyal to Jared. I know he’s special to you and I’m
not going to dispute that. I know that I screwed up, and I have no right to lecture you about choices—I’m sorry—but if you would just remember what we had…”
“I do reme
mber, and it’s
hard for
me too. But j
ust because all of those feelings are still there,
it
doesn’t mean I can just drop what’s in my life right now. I know you don’t want to get to know Jared on a personal level, but he is an amazing guy. Is he better than you? No. But he’s just as special to me. If you’re asking me to choose right now…”
I could hear him sigh again, and then I noticed my mom standing in the doorway of my room with a camera she’d borrowed. I know she heard what I said, but she didn’t speak as she set it on my
dresser
and quietly left.
“I’ll think about Washington,” I said when he didn’t respond. “Jared’s going to be in the studio for a few weeks in L.A. and I’m not sure if Maggie and I will be there with him or not.
I’m guessing yes, because after that he goes on tour for three months.”
“And you’re not going on tour with him?”
I took my time answering and then replied, “
We’ll meet up with him in a few cities the first half of it; for the second half we’re going with him
. He’s returning to Europe.
”
Again he was quiet, but then he said, “Well you could come up here when he starts his tour, right?”
“Zack, I’m not gonna run off to spend time with you the second my boyfriend leaves town. I’m not that kind of—”
“Person. Yeah, I know.” He sighed again and I didn’t know where we sto
od at that point. I felt like it was too frustr
ating to talk to him sometimes.
“I’ll think about it, okay?” I finally said. “Let me see where I am at that point first, and then I’ll make a decision.”
He didn’t say anything right away, but eventually he asked, “What does that mean, Taryn? Are you talking about your physical location, or your relationship
with Jared?
”
“Um, both I guess. I mea
n—” I stopped because my other line was ringi
ng. I knew it was Ja
red before I even checked. “Uh,
he’s
on the other line
and I’d like to
answer it.”
“Uh, okay. Goodnight,
Taryn
.
I love you. I’ll call you in a couple of days.”
That was twice no
w that he’d told me he loved me and
I hadn’t said it to h
im since the night on the phone, when
we
first
got it all out in the open.
Now
I wasn’t sure if I could say it again, given the fact that I was now thinking rationally of my current relationship and felt returning Zack’s sentiments was inappropriate. I guess I was lucky he added the last part, so I just say, “Okay, I’ll talk to you then.”
I always enjoyed answering calls from Jared because he was just that kind of guy. He was always easy to talk to and he usually said something funny right off the bat. This time he softly
asked
, “What are you wearing?
” It made me smile and he added,
“Sexy f
ootie pajamas?”
I laughed and said, “Yes, Maggie and I are wearing matching footie pajamas.”
“I knew it! Well I’ll let you lie to me, but I know you’re wearing
boxers
and striped
tube socks
.”
I had to smile because he was almost right. “Close. The
socks
have frogs on them.”
“Ah, the frogs. Shoot, I was gonna say that.”
I chuckled and then asked him what he was up to. He claimed the hotel was having a singles mixer downstairs and he was just about to head down there.
I laughed again.
“In your basketball shorts and tattered t-shirt?”
He paused for a second. “Hey, wait a minute… Are you spying on me?”
“No, you wish. But your attire is about as predictable as mine, I suppose.”
“How is
it
that we both know what each other wears to bed but…”
I smiled again, and I could feel my face turn warm. But he changed the subject when he began
talking
about a band that he had just
spoke
n
with
about touring with Breaking Point. He was excited that it was going to happen.
“I bet they’re even more excited,” I said. “Wow, what an opportunity for them.
How does it feel to be able to give people a chance like that?”
“Oh, it’s awesome. I mean I feel so lucky to be in the position that I’m in, but when I hear these other amazing groups say that their dream tour would be touring with
us
… It’s humbling.”
“You’re already a humble guy, Jared. That’s why you’re so popular among your peers, sweetie. I think of all the musicians that I’ve met through you
,
and I can see so clearly w
hat you have that they don’t.
But I suppose there’s a band for everyone. I just prefer yours,” I smiled. “Well, just you I guess.”
He laughed and said, “You’re not into Jack? He’s kind of pursued quite a
bit; I hear it’s because he’s
good-looking.”
“Ha, and he knows it. No
,
I’m not into Jack.”
“Well I’ve been told I’m a good-looking guy so many times that I’m starting to believe it.”
That made me laugh. “Well duh.”
“And now that I’m officially taken—uh, by you of course…”
I chuckled.
“
—
It’s a toss up
for
whether or not you’ve made me more desirable
,
or less.”
“Ah, girls that can’t take the competition have given up, huh?”
“Yes, but the other half… They are like angry bees.”
I laughed again and said, “Is that, like, as in bumble bees, or the other B-word?”
“Yeah, I’m beginning to wonder.”
Of course that made me curious and I had to ask, “Have you been g
etting interesting comments
online
?”
“I always get interesting things thrown my way.”
“I mean something more
from
these angry B’s?”
He chuckled but failed to answer my question. I decided I was going to have to find out for myself so I grabbed my laptop and logged in while he went back to discussing the upcoming tour. Then he asked about house hunting in the morning and we talked about that for a while.
There were two houses that we had plans to go see (without Maggie this time) and we also made lunch and dinner plans. It was a given that we’d be together the entire day, but I think he just felt it necessary to make sure sometimes.
We normally didn’t make “plans,” but we’d talked about going out for a day—just the two of us—for a while, and now it was finally going to happen.
“This chick wants me to die a slow and painful death?” I asked all of a sudden.
“Wha
t? Taryn, you did not just go on my page
, did you?”
“Yes I did, and I think I wanna find this b—”
“Those people are intense,
hon
,” he said with half a chuckle. “I don’t e
ven understand what they
are thinking.
”
“I think she wants a face-to-face with me—” I
paused
and said, “This girl says I’m a
whore
?”
“Taryn, freaking get off your computer. I’m not even kidding.” I think he heard me slam it shut when he added, “You can’t take anything personal on there. You appreciate the good things that are said, accept the constructive criticism, and block the haters.”
“Then block ‘em.”
“Babe,” he kind of chuckled. “I can only do so many a day. I try not to
get caught up in that kind of stuff and I don’t want you to either.”
I sighed heavily because he was right. I wasn’t sure why strangers’ comments got to me so badly.
“Taryn, nothing anyone says is
gonna
—”
“I know, I’m sorry. I overreacted.”
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have even joked about it.”
Finally I laughed and said, “Jared, it’s fine to joke about. Really. I guess for the most part I’ve ignored that kind of stuff—and for your info
rmation, I’m totally aware of all your dedicated stalkers
—” He
chuckled “—But anyways,
e
nough about those people. I hear Maggie out of bed so I’d better go see what’s up, okay?”
“Sure, of course. Give her a
hug and kiss for me. I love you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
”
“
I can’t wait either
. I love you
,
too.”
I hung up and took another deep breath. It was true that I was aware of some of the gossip a
nd stuff that was said about me
or about my relationship with Jared
because of his status
—and it really
hadn’t bothered me up until now
—but I guess everyone gets fed up at some point. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to get upset with something so stupid again.