Love UnCharted (Love's Improbable Possibility) (24 page)

You could hear a pin drop in there. I was stunned. Why didn’t he tell me this before? It now made sense, how he was so adamant about spending freely on me, the car he loaned me because he never used it, staying in the best hotels, having paid off the posh apartment in Marina Del Rey, offering to buy my house.
He’s filthy stinking rich!
His fleet of luxury cars, the personal chef, regular security detail—all of these were the fittings of a wealthy man.

“Brimm,” he called me from my trance. “Say something,” his voice was hard, self-protective. It sounded so familiar—
like mine
.

“Y-you said you don’t like discussing it. I don’t want to meddle.”

“It’s not meddling coming from you,” he hissed, exasperated.

“What is it then?”

“It’s gaining pertinent information that concerns you…your future.”

“That’s how Kid got his car…” Another thought that I intended for internal use only.

“Kid is a long-term friend. I value his loyalty to me over the years. I’m a very private and complicated man. He’s understood that and has been very reliable throughout the years. It was an appropriate gift for a trusted friend.”

I was stuck.

He turned his head to me. “What did you think I earned before the article? You must have given it
some
thought.”

Whoa! I don’t think I did.

I started chronicling my time with him. “I don’t know…I mean, yeah, you had a Bentley with a driver, a lofty apartment on the water…businesses, a personal stylist…” I started to feel silly the more I thought out loud. “I don’t know…maybe close to a million…okay, at best two million? In all honesty, I never gave it much thought. I accepted it as all things that came along with your parcel…that it was all Azmir Jacobs. I’ve never dated a wealthy man before.”

“According to you—you’ve never dated.” Azmir was reminding me of the small fact that I’d given him in our previous conversation in Vegas.

“This is true.” I turned back to face him. “I don’t know…I feel foolish for not knowing. And…truth be told, I’m mad as hell that Dawn knew more than I did,” I sulked openly.

“Dawn knows what I need for her to know to grow my brand. The brand that will provide handsomely for you, who will protect my privacy.”

What does that mean?
I didn’t want to go there. But there was some where I did, now that we were back on the topic of Dawn.

“Azmir, you were so incensed about Brian Thompson at the charity ball and in San Diego.” I tried to maintain my boldness in the spirit of honesty. “In San Diego—”

He abruptly jumped up in the bed and with a wrinkled nose, “
You didn’t
…
!
Fuck! In San Diego or…since we’ve been apart.” Azmir’s body tensed, his pupils dilated, breath hitched and he formed fists in my mattress. He was scaring me.

“Azmir—”

“When?” he breathed seemingly painfully, collapsing his eyelids, bracing himself for the answer.

“Never!” I shouted. I couldn’t believe his presumptuousness. 

He visibly relaxed and his back fell into the headboard, causing an alarming thud sound. Azna barked at the foreign noise, letting me know it startled him, too.

I was offended. He had some audacity to assume a broken temperament when he thought I’d slept with Thompson. “Hypocrisy!” I hissed.

“I know, but it is what it is. Rayna, I can’t even begin to think about how shattered…how fucked up I’d be if you fucked someone else.”

“I don’t fuck!” I shrieked. “Is that what we do? I mean, yeah, we’ve gone over the semantics, but is that what you believe we do?” He had some nerve.

He gasped, affronted. “No.” His tone was soft and defenseless.

“Well, why would you assume that I’d
fuck
someone else?”

“Because you said you loved me and
making it
is reserved for me.”

“And so are your lips, Azmir! It goes both ways.” Anger fueled my new found courage. “God—do you know how much you’ve possibly set back my trust issues? Now, I feel insecure in who I am.” I looked him square in the face. After a moment, I whispered, “You told me that you got lost in the fact that she pursued you with force…that I am not doing that for you. This comes right after I told you I loved you and was in love with you!”

“That was after I’d made the mistake,” he clarified, to my relief. I huffed, feeling very annoyed. “Was?” he asked about me being in love with him.

“Azmir, you’re in my bed. Give me that at least.” He sighed as though
he
was now relieved.

“Rayna, you’re not the only one with issues here. Since we’ve been apart, I’ve realized that I have security issues.” He exhaled, “I assume they come from my parents’ disappearance from my life so early. When you left the apartment that night, I wanted to run after you, but my pride wouldn’t let me do it. Day after day I waited for the miracle of your call, for you to come back to me of your own volition.” He stopped his stream of thoughts as though they were too painful to take on. “Let’s just say it’s been rough. And having Yazmine around only made it that more difficult. How can I acclimate her to my life when the biggest part of it had run away from me?”

His words hit me hard. Was that Azmir’s declaration of love for me?
No!
But it was so refreshing and I realized in that moment it was what I’d been needing from him. No, he didn’t tell me he loved me as I’d done him, but I was willing to take whatever he gave so long as it was real. I’d just have to take what he gave in that moment and treasure it. Azmir’s ruminative mood also spoke to something deep inside as I felt lubrication between my legs. My eyes darted over to him, alerting his attention to me. I didn’t say anything and didn’t need to.

“Damn! Brimm, you’re insatiable. It’s a good thing that your vagina will be preoccupied tomorrow. You’re trying to wear me out.”

I batted my eyes bashfully. I didn’t want to be too forward and decided to take the shy route instead by turning my back to him and laying my head on the pillow.

“Oh, no,” he said as he went to grab my chin and bestowed a kiss that made me shiver in no time. He scooted over to me and I relished the poke of his virility into my naked flesh. “No more running, not even in bed,” he whispered. His teeth grazed my ear as he murmured, “Moving forward, when either one of us need a moment of truth—for the other to be completely honest and share what’s on their minds we need to make that clear. Perhaps a code word.”

I tried exercising my brain over my heated body and heaving chest. “Like what?” I breathed out.

“I don’t know…something like…orgasm—something that I am about to serve up to you.” Azmir bit into the piece of flesh just beneath my ear, again reminding me of my short hair, forcing me to cry out as my body melted into him. I decided to humor him.

“Orgasm may be inappropriate to use in mixed company. How about a more neutral term…like…” I tried thinking, but his long fingers were rubbing and pulling my nipple. “…pocket watch. Let’s go with pocket watch,” I groaned

“Okay. Pocket watch it is,” he breathed into my neck.

My heart was pounding and the throb in between my legs had become almost painful.

“Pocket watch?” he asked, I assumed testing it out.

I swallowed hard, trying to fight the heat rising from my belly, “I want you deep inside me. Deep enough to make me forget the pain.”

Azmir lifted my leg over his arm and entered me from behind, sending chilling waves up and down my spine. He licked behind my ear and into my neck, further driving me insane. He kept pushing deeper and deeper inside of me and I could swear that I felt him in my chest,
near my heart
. I didn’t realize how deep this position could place him in me. He started circling my pearl using my juices to lubricate it. It drove me wild.

“I love being inside of you. You’re so submissive and eager to take me all in,” he whispered so close to my ear and that was my undoing. “You are so beautiful. You were made just for me,” he continued his effective narrative.

Within seconds, the most fierce orgasm rippled through my core, triggering my body to violently convulse. Azmir took cue and flipped me onto my stomach and went to grinding into me, thoroughly and hard, stretching out my orgasm, and in no time felt him pumping his warm fluids into me. He growled my name insanely and I fell in love with him deeper in that moment. I’d momentarily forgotten about the pain of losing him. Of his betrayal. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of my alarm pulled me out of my dream. It was my usual one of me sharing intimately with Michelle and having her abruptly leave me, promising to return. I irately grabbed my phone diffusing the alarm, seeing it was six forty-five in the morning, and rubbed my face. My short hair was wild in a disarray and my body shivered from being bare underneath a measly sheet.

Why didn’t I use my blanket?
Then I looked over to the dent in the pillow next to me and it hit me,
Azmir was here last night…in my bed…making love to me, over and over again.
But where did he go?

The last thing I recalled was being awakened by his mouth teasing me between my legs and eventually being underneath him, caught in another toe-curling orgasm at two in the morning. There was no way
that
was a dream. I was still wet…too wet. I looked down and saw the red stain beneath me.
Crap!
My period had arrived.

While in the shower, I marveled at Azmir’s timing. He knew my cycle and how I’d be in need
before
today, when my period was due. He was so observant of me,
my body
, it was almost uncanny.
What do you expect of a darn near billionaire mogul?
He knows everything there is to know about his assets and opponents. Though he never mentioned approval of my hair.
Hmmmmm…

That aside, it made me wonder if this was somehow planned, deliberated—if he knew that in days I’d be so sexually vulnerable that it would be the most opportune time to make a move on me. If such were the case, it would only mean that he
did
think about me during our breakup. He thought long enough to plan to draw me back in. The gesture was comforting
and manipulative
, but I was now dealing with a new level of blues, those relating to my period. My back ached and I felt tension radiating from my neck. I knew it would be a rough day to get through, starting with deciding if I would attend dinner with Azmir and his mother.

Azmir’s betrayal created a debris around my heart, and I’d have to couple that with my monster of a menstrual. It wasn’t looking good for either one of us.

Azmir

My eyes shot open and I smelled her. I found comfort in her warmth, felt the prickles of her short, curly hair poking my face and I realized it wasn’t a dream. I’d had Rayna back in my arms. I couldn’t believe she cut her fucking hair. I didn’t like the bold move, but goddamm if that wasn’t my Rayna. She was an extremist. I’d assumed it was a part of her rebellious and independent nature. As much as I hated admitting it, I loved the new look. It turned me the fuck on and had me almost fucking her in the lobby of the rec center when I’d laid eyes on her. She looked like a new woman, stronger than the one I knew. I know that’s crazy to think, but she did. I rushed to touch her, to claim her as mine. To remind
me
of who I was to her more than anything.

I fucking missed her like mad. Like a bitch, I pined after her in her stubborn absence. The last time I’d woken up I had to prove to myself that she was there in the flesh by making love to her and feeling her detonate from another orgasm. I couldn’t get enough of her. I hated to leave her. I could rest in bed with her all day and comfort her from her pending hellish symptoms.

Unfortunately, it was time for me to start my day beginning with an eight a.m. East Coast Time conference call with Richard, my business partner, followed by my morning workout with Tyler. I tip-toed out of Rayna’s room and managed to leave without even a stir from Azna.

I walked out of her place feeling reprieved. I also felt peace, something that fleeted when she left the marina that night. I was happy to have that portion of myself  settled. It was the major component of my life, something that became clear when she left. I could now move on to what I knew best, hustling. Work was the skin to my being. It buffered me and protected me. But even this theory was tested when Rayna turned my life upside down by leaving.

My day kicked off with new found vigor. The past week had been hell, beginning with being in denial the first two days without Rayna. I thought I was the
Old Divine
, who swore he would never allow a woman to affect his world in a way that it ricocheted his work and overall existence.
That is some sucker shit. I’m a man. A man that could survive and flourish with or without a woman.
My experience with Tara’s cheating and manipulative tendencies only further intensified this mantra. When Rayna left me that night, not only was I hit with the revelation that I was never as emotionally drawn to Tara as I thought I’d been, but also that I was in deeper with Rayna than I’d previously known.

My time with Tyler that morning corroborated my theory. He told me that although my stamina was off, my focus had returned. I knew that my energy had been depleted during the night before and early morning activities with Rayna Brimm. I was just happy to have my mojo restored.

After my workout, I checked in with Yazmine to be sure she was set for the day before I got into the full swing of mine. She seemed to be excited about finally spending some time with Rayna. I’d been putting her off for some time. She had been in town for only four days, but during our second dinner she asked very dubiously about the beauty that I’d brought to New York when I came to see her for the first time since she disappeared from my life. I explained that Rayna’s lead role at the practice required late nights and early mornings and that as soon as she could clear her calendar I’d set something up. As I sat at my desk listening to Brett shoot off updates and upcoming action items, I fought to suppress my trepidations of her not showing up for dinner tonight.

“Sir?” I heard Brett call out to me.

“Yes.”

“The signing with
Mauve
next week.
Bacote & Taylor
would like to know if you’d like to have it here in L.A. or at their headquarters in New York.”

Mauve
was a brandy line that I’d recently partnered with at the coordination of Shayna and Dawn’s PR connections. I’d been wanting to invest with a brandy line for quite some time, but never acquired the resources to vet a reputable company that was in need of investors.
Mauve
was repackaging their brand and was gearing up to execute a new marketing campaign. It was a match made in heaven. These women, Bacote & Taylor, were working.

“Let’s do it here in L.A.. I’m really trying to minimize my travel over the next few months.” I had Rayna in mind with that decision.

I knew that I had to put in more time with her, making her feel secure in my life. And that wouldn’t happen if I was boarding a damn plan every week. I needed to prove to her that we were solid. Not to mention, I still hadn’t forgotten about Brian Thompson’s lurking ass. He was becoming a problem that I had to carefully, yet firmly address. He wasn’t taking to my niceness.     

“Okay…” Brett dragged, as he made notes on his tablet. “And now it’s time for the conference call with Bacote & Taylor. I’ll punch them in.” He spoke in his announcer’s voiceover as he rose to the phone and dialed a few numbers.

Dawn Taylor answered in her usual professional manner. For the first few moments of the conversation, Brett and Dawn spoke about dates, events, and other details that involved my schedule. I checked out, thinking about my conversation last week with Dawn the day after the Trey Songz concert.

She appeared at Cobalt, surprising me once again. She claimed that she wanted to see the place to gauge the possibilities of shows and events that their firm had planned for the club. She was dressed very seductively in a skirt that came just to her knees, a blouse that opened in the middle of her cleavage and sexy as Brian Atwoods. She was trying…too hard. Quite honestly, Dawn was an attractive woman who knew how to flaunt her shit, but she wasn’t my type. I didn’t want a woman who brought too much attention to her sensual nature. The best thing to do was to make a man believe he had exclusive rights to it and he had the sole power to bring it to surface.

I was sitting at the bar, having a drink and talking to my new bar manager, Mike. In the short time that he had been with us, I’d picked up on his mild and controlled energy. We could sit and talk about the philosophies of life for hours. I was stressed and needed a mid-day drink so after I finished with some paperwork in my office, I came down to the bar. It was always a pleasure and escape from reality to sit and hear some of his life stories and lessons. I got to share a few of mine with him as well.

I didn’t notice when Dawn walked in. It was just after two and there were always deliveries being made with maintenance staff coming in and out during the afternoons, so I was never sensitive to the activities of the door.  She strolled over towards the bar, locking eyes on me. I didn’t say much, just took a swig of my drink, anticipating the nature of her visit.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Jacobs.” Her smile was wily per usual, only today I wasn’t responsive to it. She stirred up a shit load of trouble in my home the night before, at the after party. Rayna said Dawn was actually crying in the restroom.

“So it is.” I watched her stand just inches away from me, resting her arms on the lip of the bar. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Ms. Taylor?” Even through her smooth cocoa skin, I could see her blush.

“I didn’t expect to see you here actually. I was coming to take a peek at the place to help start drumming up ideas for marketing.” Suddenly, her smile deepened, “Seeing you here is a bonus.”

Mike, who went back to re-stocking the bar when she approached me, walked back over to us, and with his wise perceptive ways, he lacked warmth when he asked Dawn, “Can I get you a drink, Miss.” I had wondered if he had sensed my unease with her presence and had followed suit.

“Ummm…well, that depends…on whether or not Mr. Jacobs here is buying,” she attempted to charm with her witty sense of humor.

“Honey, if you’re walking in this establishment at this hour to see Mr. Jacobs, I doubt if you’re concerned with who’s buying.” He gave her a stern, paternal glare. Dawn’s eyes peeled from Mike and bounced quizzically to mine when I gestured
I’m out of it
with the pouting of my mouth and took another swig of my drink. She then went back to Mike, who waited patiently for an answer.

“Errrr…gin and tonic…dry, please.” When Mike turned to concoct her order, she took a deep breath and turned back to me. “So, did you enjoy your night?” I knew she was referring to the after party.

“Some points of it less than others,” I said before sliding my glass back down the bar to Mike. “Hit me again, Big Mike.”

“You got it, Mr. Jacobs,” Mike called with his back to me.

Dawn gave a nervous laugh. “Now that I see you’re here, I am hoping that we can talk…privately. Perhaps after you give me a tour.”

Mike returned with her drink and didn’t go too far to pour mine.

“We can talk here. What’s up?”

She used her eyes inconspicuously to motion to Mike.

“Don’t worry about Mike. It’s his job to hear no evil, see no evil, or repeat it.” Her neck snapped at my resistance.

Mike served my drink and went back about his business.

“Well…errrr...I didn’t have the most pleasant encounter with your friend.”

“Rayna,” I chided sternly. She would not disregard my lady and pass her off as a jump-off. That shit ended here.

“Rayna,” she settled with, sounding reproved. “And I wanted to dispel any misreporting that you may have gotten from her.”

“Misreports?” I chuckled silently while staring straight ahead before taking a nip of my drink.

“Yes, she came out of the bathroom stall and walked into a private moment between an associate and me. It was a little emotional and I can only imagine the impression she got.”

“Why are you anxious about what impression Rayna
may
have gotten from a conversation between you and an associate that didn’t concern her.”

“Anxiousssss,” she threw my word back to me contemplatively, in a whisper.

I took another sip of my brandy, but said nothing to let her know that I was awaiting an explanation.

“That’s the thing, Azmir.” She ran her hand over the back of her neck, expressing nervousness. “I’m still confused as to the nature of your affairs with her. You told me last night she was a roommate, but you didn’t say she was a girlfriend or a significant other of some sort. Is there an arrangement in place that I should be aware of?”

She echoed Rayna’s complaints about my choice of words describing who Rayna is in my life.
What the fuck is up with women being all literal and shit?

“That you should be aware of? Is this for business reasons?” I asked as I dropped ice cubes from the tumbler into my mouth. Dawn was going to have to come better than that.

“In Connecticut, you advised that I be clear with my intentions, so here we go: Are you in a serious relationship with her? Is she a girlfriend? Or are you just fucking her and she’s living with you as a professional beard? Is there some arrangement in place?” Dawn barely took a breath in her string of questions. I couldn’t decide between being concerned or entertained. “I want to know so that I can see how I can gain your attention. And before you ask, I’m speaking on a personal and intimate level.” Her eyes stayed upon me as she sipped from her drink, I supposed to help with her nerves.

“A beard…” I chuckled, “Wow! Now, that was unexpected.”

She smiled sardonically, “Well, she has a body to die for. Her ass alone would make a nun do a double take. She’s always impeccably dressed in designer attire, and I surmised she doesn’t work if she can make herself available to you during the middle of the day like she did that day in your cafeteria. I don’t think my assumptions are too far off.”

Dawn was so desperate for answers, she never paused to gauge my disposition, another character flaw. I couldn’t help but laugh. Hard. My liquor had seeped through my veins, goading my sense of humor. She showed her hand too much. Too bad she wasn’t mine or I’d have to coach her on how to hold her cards.

“What is so damn funny?” she laughed along with me, risking the subject of our humor not being the same thing.

“Your new found ability of avowing.” I placed my glass down on the bar. “I appreciate it and I will adhere to it.” I chewed my ice before continuing. “For starters, it may be wise for you to know the nature of my relationship with Ms. Rayna Brimm for professional reasons for your firm. As far as for personal reasons; you should know that I am not the type of man who’s dating options are reduced to entering into legal agreements for professional companionship. My singular tastes and pursuits affords me the opportunity to seek out women with legitimate careers and lifestyles.”

Dawn furrowed her eyebrows, “Careers? Oh, so she does have a job? Let me guess, she waits tables at night and runs from audition to audition, trying to catch a break in acting during the day.”

She was bold—too bold, and so off target. I swallowed my melting ice. “Not exactly. By day, she works at a physical therapy practice and by night, she keeps me entertained, if not off pursing other tasteful activities.”  

“She works at a physical therapy office as a…?” Dawn extended her investigational activities.

“…as a lead physical therapist, who manages the practice. Her office is there on the rec property.”

She reacted with her eyes. They jumped.
What the fuck did she take me for?