“Mmm, he looks like I feel,” Robert said. “Let’s see if we can all come together.” He reached down and found her clit and began to rub it with his fingers in sync with his thrusts into her cunt.
Jillian moaned around David’s cock, the hot, swirling passion after so many years of existing in a sexual desert so enormous, she didn’t know how much longer she could contain it. Shivers and quivers and the pure, jittery excitement of every childhood Christmas morning filled her to overflowing. The scent of sex and the sound of deep, churning arousal fed every secret yearning she’d always been afraid to acknowledge, even to herself.
Jillian’s orgasm erupted, hot and pure and cosmic. As the waves of ecstasy enveloped her, David shouted his completion. Hot, pungent cream hit the back of her throat, and she swallowed every pulsing drop. Above her, more restrained, Robert held himself deep, eyes closed, his facial expression locked in a strained, almost tortured pose. He held his cock deep inside her. She felt it pulse, and the heated cum from his body filled the pouch at the end of the condom. That combination, the heat of him and the power of him, pushed her over the edge again, and Jillian let herself be swept away on renewed waves of the purest, most perfect bliss.
Jillian Gillespie could so easily rip the heart right out of me.
Robert kept his gaze on the woman sound asleep in the bed between him and his brother. He and David had shared before, and they’d each enjoyed the comforts of a woman individually. But what they’d enjoyed all through the night eclipsed every notion he’d ever had about making love.
Jillian affected him like no other. She reached right down and touched the very heart of him. Until her, until
now
, he hadn’t really believed such a thing could be possible.
The reality of her, of them together, staggered him. He figured he was potentially looking at incredible joy, or unimagined heartache—and it was way too early to say which of the two it would be in the end.
Robert didn’t like the feeling of not knowing the outcome of this new turn his life had taken.
I really
don’t
like not being in control
.
He recognized the beginning signs of stress roiling through him. He’d come to recognize this kind of anxiety as a very real demon within him. Always a part of him for as long as he could remember, it had evolved into something that in the last few years had threatened his very sanity. Amazingly, only one person in his life—other than his twin brother, David—had ever seen the evidence of it and understood the challenges he faced, just living each day.
You can’t control the world, Robert. You’re not God. You can’t save everyone. So focus first on controlling yourself. Save yourself before you try to save others.
Jordan Fitzpatrick’s words of nearly three years before echoed in his mind. Robert inhaled deeply, and then relaxed. A quick look at the bedside clock showed him he’d awakened too early to arouse his bedmates. Four a.m. could be a good time, however, to practice those tenets he’d mastered with Jordan’s help.
Robert rolled silently from the bed. His feet made no sound as he padded across the wood floor. Comfortable in his nakedness, he left the master suite, intent on the other large room on the second floor of his home, the room they were converting into their own private playroom.
We’ll have to make this a priority, now that we have Jillian
.
Until now, the playroom had been a sometime project. So far, they’d painted the walls and ceilings and put down some new flooring. At the moment, the room held only a paddling bench—something they’d brought back with them from up north—and a few toys they’d picked up at the
Lyon’s Den
on Saturday night.
Robert didn’t bother to turn on the light, and stood facing the one window in the room. In the morning sun, the newly replaced glass would sparkle, unless they closed the shutters they’d installed on the inside. Once those shutters were closed, the room would seem more like a dungeon than the simple bedroom it had originally been intended to be.
For right now he left those shutters open. They’d cracked the window a couple of inches just after they’d finished renovating the room. The world outside stood in darkness, night not yet giving over to day. A cool breeze wafted in, and Robert inhaled deeply of the fresh air.
He stood in the center of the room and directed his focus inward, using his will to silence the chattering of his thoughts. Within him, the worries and musings ceased, as he brought his mind into submission to his will.
Robert filled his lungs deeply, and then exhaled. He brought his hands together palms pressed flat, his cleansing breath and bow a matter of ritual, and of discipline. Then he began to practice his solo form of tai chi, the routine familiar, comfortable, and a part of him.
Spine straight, breathing from his abdomen, he executed his moves slowly, precisely, his focus purely on his body. This familiar routine incorporated a complete range of motion where his center of gravity became the core of him. In the here and now, only
this
existed, and Robert submerged himself, melding body, heart, mind and soul.
As his muscles performed, his mind calmed, and his soul eased. Stress evaporated, leaving him refreshed, rejuvenated, and most importantly, at peace.
All of his attention directed inward, his physical surroundings ceased to matter. Here was heaven. Here was bliss.
Eventually reality returned. Dawn barely shimmered outside the window, thinning the darkness, illuminating the room. Later, the sun would paint a warm sunspot on the floor. Robert blinked, and judged that he had time yet before he had to awaken the others.
He ended his routine as he’d begun. The press of hands, the bow, and the deep, cleansing breath all felt more relaxed than they had just an hour or so before.
Not yet heated by Sol, the breeze that came through the window remained cool. The air licked at his flesh as if drinking the sweat he wore.
Shower, Jillian, and coffee, in that order
. He would shower first, for a very specific reason. He looked forward to wearing the scent of his woman on his skin for the rest of the day.
Robert sought out his own bedroom and the private bathroom there, intending only a quick, hot shower. It occurred to him, as he let the water pound down on him, that his need to escape into the meditative state he found in tai chi really was similar to the need Jillian had to escape into the place she found through pain. Subs had sub-space. Doms had top-space.
Doms and subs aren’t all that different, really. You could think of it as the ultimate codependent relationship
.
Until this moment he couldn’t say that he’d ever agreed with Jordan. Now, of course, everything was different. And while he’d honed his skills at
Reckless Abandon
, while he’d enacted several private scenes, he had never acquired a sub of his own. It had never been his plan to live the lifestyle twenty-four seven. And while he’d shared the subs of other Doms, one thing he knew already, without a single doubt. He’d share
his
woman with no one but his brother.
He thought about Jillian, and the best way to take care of her. He was damn certain that she’d lived all of her life to date without having
any
of her deepest needs met.
Robert had learned how to work a flail and a six-foot single-tail whip, and could do so with impressive accuracy. That had been a matter of self-discipline, and of control. But he had no intention of ever using either toy on Jillian.
We’ll love her properly and care for her well enough she won’t ever need that level of escape.
He was a Dom, and she was his sub, whether she fully recognized that fact or not. He intended that he and David would take care of her, totally and completely. He already knew her well enough to know there was no need in her for real pain. Her escape yesterday, he’d bet, had been her method of coping with stress. He’d see to it she never needed more than a good spanking to help her cope with stress in the future.
Thinking of Jillian
and
spanking together got him hard. He’d told her she was due one, and he intended to see she got it—sooner, rather than later.
Robert rinsed the foam from his flesh and turned off the water. It only took him a couple of minutes to run a towel over his body. Deciding he was dry enough, he headed back to the master bedroom, and the woman waiting for him there.
* * * *
I could get used to being awakened like this. It’s definitely worth the eventual heartbreak and disappointment.
Prone on the bed, her head on a pillow and turned to her right, Jillian smiled as hands caressed her body. At first only two, and then, very quickly, four, those large, firm, masculine hands soothed away the grogginess of sleep, replacing it with sweet licks of arousal.
“Mmm. What time is it?”
She felt motion on the bed, and then the heat of a male body. Strong legs straddled her hips, and a fully erect cock came to rest gently on the crack of her ass. A scrotum bounced lightly on her butt cheeks, and the nearness of man brought an enticing, musky aroma to her. She inhaled deeply and smelled a woodsy soap and pre-cum.
Her lover leaned closer and his breath bathed her ear when he said, “Time for you to receive the punishment I promised you yesterday.”
Jillian opened her eyes. It was a little disconcerting to be on her stomach, and unable to meet Robert’s gaze. She recalled he’d mentioned a spanking the first time he’d taken her. She also recalled the prospect hadn’t frightened her at all.
She’d spent her life, a great deal of it, in denial of different parts of her personality. Now that she was rested, and had been fed, both literally and figuratively the night before, her mind could function at full capacity and ability.
She’d known the day before that she’d no longer be able to hide those parts of herself she’d held back.
No, that’s not quite it. I knew I wouldn’t be
permitted
to hide myself anymore
.
She didn’t know a hell of a lot about what would come next. She didn’t know anything whatsoever about a D/s relationship. Really, she only knew one thing, and that knowledge ran so deep, she thought it likely the one thing she understood better than she understood anything else in the entire world.
Robert and David Jessop would
never
harm her.
“Well? Do you have anything to say about that, sub?”
Did she accept their assertion that she was indeed a “natural-born sub?” As crazy as it sounded, yes, she did. Was she
their
sub? Yes. In her heart she knew she’d be theirs for as long as they wanted her. She didn’t want to think about the inevitable end, not this soon when things were only just beginning.
Did she think she’d like whatever kind of spin being their sub put on what was happening between them, sexually? Some of the thoughts that had swirled though her mind as she’d drifted to sleep last night had certainly gotten her hot. But the truth was, she really didn’t know. She didn’t have anything to measure it against. It was time, she supposed, to find out. It was time to surrender completely and see where that led her.
“Do I
get
to say something about it?”
“Of course you do. Our two most important rules are ‘nothing without informed consent,’ and ‘do no harm.’ It’s how we’ve always approached our participation in BDSM activities—safe, sane, and consensual.
“We’re just beginning here, Jillian, the three of us. David and I both realize you don’t know much about the Dominant/submissive dynamic. To a great degree, it’s all subjective. We can pick and choose the elements that are right for us. We
will
discuss everything with you and answer all your questions. But for the moment, feel free to say whatever it is you want to say.”
“In that case, the only thing I can think to say is that by spanking me after you told me that you would, you’re showing me I can trust your word. That’s something that’s very important to me.”
She felt his cock pulse against her ass.
He liked that
. A sense of pleasure washed through her. She loved knowing that something she said or did found approval with these men.
“It doesn’t bother you, then, that I’m about to punish you?” Robert asked.
She’d detected a note of caution in his voice. Jillian had a flash of insight into her past, and herself, and these men. She’d been loyal and honest with Neil, and had been the best wife to him that she knew how to be, and she would be willing to bet he’d never even really noticed.
Robert and David, on the other hand, would treasure those qualities in her—not that marriage would ever come into the equation. She figured that as a mature, unattached adult she was free to do what she wanted to do. The word “affair” sounded so 1980s, but that was the word that had immediately come to mind. No, this wasn’t going to be an affair. But it most definitely was going to be a sexual relationship, and maybe a bit more than just sex.
She wouldn’t play head games, because they simply weren’t her style. There might be the odd thing here or there that she would keep to herself, but for the most part, she wanted to be totally honest with these men. And, God help her, she was going to trust them to be honest with her.