Authors: Anne Leigh
I hugged him back and tried to sound as normal as possible, "You're welcome. Now, take your medicine and don't push yourself so hard for
the next two to three days."
"Yes, coach knows I've been sick. He actually told me to rest up. Our first
game this year’s in 4 days."
"K," I
kissed him on his left cheek.
He held my hand
and he walked me to my car. As I drove away, I took in big gulps of air.
Over
the next few weeks, when Zander and I saw each other, I acted like my normal self. I didn't want him to think that anything was different. I laughed at his jokes the way I normally did. I hugged him the way I normally did. I attended his home games the way I have been doing.
I didn't think he noticed that anything was different. We were at a coffee shop one afternoon when he said, "Is everything ok, Sedona?"
"Yeah. Why?” I asked. It was a good thing I was reading a book when he asked that so he couldn't see my eyes. I glanced at him for a second and turned my
attention back to my book.
"Just wond
ering, you seem different."
"Different? Like how?" I i
nquired.
"I don’t know. Just kind of different," his eyes were probing me, but I w
as still looking at my book.
"Hmm, just busy with grad stuff." I was t
rying to change the subject.
"True. Everything's just cr
azy, huh?" he took the bait.
"Yup."
"So have you thought of what you're going to be doing
after graduation?" he asked.
"Haven't really decided yet. I don’t know. I'm just trying to my thesis, clinicals, and all these things." Irritation lined my voice. Why he was bringing up after graduation when he knows that I've been so busy with all the things I'm doing right now? I just wanted to fo
cus on my thesis right now.
"Hey, hey, settle down. I was just asking. Graduation's only a few months away so I thought you were kind of thinking about what you want to do," he said, as he adjusted his baseball cap a
nd patted my hair playfully.
"Ok," I replied.
*****
Getting close to graduation meant getting busy with school work, clinicals, and internships for me. For Zander, it meant getting ready for the draft, schoolwork, more foo
tball games, and practices.
In the months leading up to graduation, we found ourselves extremely busy. We went days without seeing each other. We were both struggling to find time for each other. We texted each other during the day and we were both so tired at night. We also found less and less time with each other. There were times when I'd be in class and I thought we were drifting apart. In a way, I was relieved because I didn’t have to mask my feelings or think about them if Zander was around. I talked to Nalee and Tanya about it and they both said that maybe it was because we were so busy. Even Kieran was so busy with his swimming engagements and school responsibilities that I
only saw him twice a week.
I couldn't
wait for graduation to come.
About a month before graduation, what started out as a great day ended up to be the w
orst day of my life at CSUF.
Saturday. The only day when both of our schedules wer
e clear after a long time.
He picked me up at 9:30 in the morning so we could visit some wineries in Napa Valley. Napa was about an h
our and a half away from us.
We spent the whole
day tasting wines. I loved wine. But that day, my stomach felt queasy so I only tasted a few. Zander also loved wine so he drank all of his and mine.
I knew he missed me as much as I missed him. He kept me close to him the whole day.
While he drove, I found myself staring at him quite a few times and reminded myself how lucky I was to be with him. He was all I could ever ask for in a boyfriend.
I caught him staring at me a few times too. I felt that he was holding something back. He'd smile at me but his sm
iles never reached his eyes.
We were in a winery when I asked him, "Is there s
omething bugging you, babe?"
He just grabbed my hand
and said, "Nah, just stuff."
"You kn
ow you can tell me, right?"
"Yup," he didn't elaborate.
When we got back to San Francisco, I thought we were heading back to his place when he went a different direction. We stopped at one of the swanky hotels in downtown San Francisco and he gav
e his car keys to the valet.
I was really surprised. This was the first time we checked in a hotel. We both had
our apartments so we didn’t have a reason to go check in a hotel but I was going along with his surprise.
When we reached our room at the top floor, I gasped when I saw the inside of the room; actually, i
t was more like a suite.
Big chandeliers were hanging from the ceiling. There was a big screen TV in front of an immacula
te-looking living room set.
I kept walking inside and when I reached the bedroom, sprinkles of red, pink, and yellow roses were
strewn across the bed.
Zander was walking behind me. I turned to f
ace him and he looked happy.
"What's this for?" I asked.
"I miss you," he said.
"This is
wonderful, babe."
"You're
exquisite." He started kissing me slowly and I felt his heart beating wildly on his chest.
I was about to remove my top w
hen he stopped me, "Let me."
He started removing my clothes. With each article of clothing that he removed, he trailed kisses on the part of my
body that he was uncovering.
By the time, he was done undressing
me; I had reached a fevered pitch. When he dipped his fingers inside me, he sucked on them and huskily said, "Babe, I missed this."
I helped him remove his shirt, jeans, and boxers. And I slowly kneeled down until my mouth was in direct line
to his straining erection.
I stuck my tongue out and touched the tip.
"Oohhh, baby," he moaned.
I cupped his balls slightly while pushing him into my mouth. I loved giving Zander oral sex. He was so responsive. My mouth was dripping with fluid
s when he slowly pulled out.
"No," I protested.
"Baby, I think I'm going to lose my bala
nce. Let's move to the bed."
We moved to the bed and he arranged us in a way where I sat on top of his mouth and he was on my lips. I happened to glance on my right and I saw our
position in the big mirror.
It was such an erotic view. I was straddling his face and he
was halfway inside my mouth.
I felt his finger enter me and I bucked. I continued sucking him w
hile he was feasting on me.
I d
idn’t know how long we were in this position. By the time Zander flipped me underneath him, I was drenched in my own juices and he was ready to burst.
"I need you," was all
he said when he entered me.
His pace was slow. I thought it was going to be fast with all t
he foreplay that we've had.
But he went slow. It was as if his body was trying to tell me something. He was savoring our connection. He was taking his time. I wanted him rough on me but he was,
making love
.
He kept kissing my hair and mouth and lips and his eyes were closed and he kept whispering in soft,
aroused tones, "I need you."
I didn't know what to make of this. I brought my hands to his face and lightly touched his cheeks. He slowly opened his eyes and what I saw made me gasp
.
His eyes were bright blue with tiny specks of green. He was begging, pleading. He looked so vulnerable. He has never lo
oked at me this way before.
Then he said it ag
ain, "I need you, just you."
With that, I felt him stiffen inside me and his ho
t liquid filled me.
I was speechless after this. He slowly pulled out of me
and walked to the bathroom.
I stayed on the bed. In a matter of minutes, I heard the shower running.
When he came out, he
had a towel draped below his lean abs. He was drying his hair with a towel and asked, "Do you want room service, babe? Or you want to go out?"
"Room service is fine," I replied
and headed to the bathroom.
By the time I finished taking a shower and drying my hair, the food had arrived. I saw the tray set up on the dining table. I didn't bring any other clothes so I put on the robe, imprinted
with the hotel’s insignia.
Zande
r was not in the dining room. I walked towards the living room area to look for him.
He was standing on the sid
e, facing the glass windows.
He must have heard my footst
eps, his face turned towards me. "You hungry?"
"A little."
"K, let's eat," he
said. I walked ahead of him towards the dining room.
We talked about random things during dinner. He ordered carbonara, fries, chicken wings, cheeseburgers, and my favorite, strawberry shake. I had a nagging feeling that he was going through something or
that he was trying to tell me something.
I kept trying to get it out of him by asking "What's u
p?", "What's on your mind?"
I d
idn't get a straight answer.
We were almost done with dinner when he asked, "So what are y
our plans after graduation?"
I
t was such a simple question; I answered what I had in mind. My plans. This was the first time we were actually talking about my plans. I may have mentioned them vaguely before. I assumed that he had heard of them from my friends. We just never got around to talking about my plans, in specific details.
"Well, I applied for a couple of internships. Remember, I want to do the internships
while reviewing for the boards? Hopefully, I’ll work at these places after I pass the boards.”
In nursing, I had the option of taking the exam right away to get my license. But I wanted to take 3 months to do an internship while studying for the exam. I felt that this would give me an edge experience wise.
"Oh yeah? Like where?"
"I applied to some hospitals in
New York, Chicago, and L.A."
As soon as I said this, I saw a muscle started ticking on his left jaw. I didn't know i
f I had said anything wrong.
"Hmm," he swiftly wiped his mouth with the napkin and co
ntinued, “Why those places?"
"Well, I think New York would be great for the experience, Chicago the hospital, and L.A. because I'd be closer to my da
d," I said, with enthusiasm.
He looked at me with blazing eyes, his left jaw muscle tic in full force now, joined by a slight twitching of the side of his left eye. He stood up to his full h
eight, "Good for you, babe."
I stood up too and I was really
confused, "Anything wrong?"
He didn't answer, he turned his back on me and walked to the bedroom and started
putting his clothes back on.